We started dating around a year ago, after we met on here. He flew to see me, even though he lives in a different country, he bought me a ring so I could imagine we're married and he left his family to live with me. Now, he recently started working and I'm a student atm, which means I'm home and he's not. I cry. I cry when he's not beside me and when he leaves in the morning. I text him all day and he replies as much as he can but I understand he can't be texting me all the time at work. I have framed pictures of him and he's on my phone wallpaper. When he comes home I go hug him and I don't let go until he goes to work the next morning. I always ask if it's all alright with him and he says he likes it. That's fine. The issue is, I get so depressed when he's not with me that I can't force myself to study or do anything. I try to keep back tears the whole time he's away. I make food for him and wait at the doorstep for him to come back. It doesn't feel healthy to me, and he told me multiple times that he loves me and its okay to focus on something else when he's away. I don't think he realises that I can't handle myself when he's not with me.
This is a direct opposite to all other relationships I've had.
How can I stop being so attached to him, without hurting our relationship?
Your actions are really unhealthy and there's only so much a person can put up with. Live for yourself, not someone else.
It's kinda creepy desu.
Levi Barnes
Have you tried just.. not being so clingy? you know hes returning. Why get so worked up if hes coming home to you.
Carter Powell
I knoww. I do have my own life! I read at least a book a week and write and I cook and clean the house and study my degree! It's just this depression I can't get rid of
Because I know he will be gone these few couple of hours and I can't be sure I'll see him again. What if he dies on the way home? I'm so scared of losing him
Luis Reyes
Stop acting like a dog or cat. You don't live your life simply in the now, you have the ability to see beyond a few hours.
See a therapist then, fix yourself. First at least force yourself to stop your actions though for both your sakes, at least that will be an improvement whilst you work on your problems. Best way to stop habits is to just stop doing them no matter the itch.
Caleb Adams
How do I stop myself from crying? I've seen a therapist last year because I don't have any friends and wondered why and she just brought up all my childhood things and then decided I don't need anymore sessions. Now I have breakdowns from time to time because of the things she brought up and made me think about again.
Evan Smith
Then she was a useless therapist. Therapy doesn't end until both of you decide it is time. You clearly have some kind of abandonment issue. Get proper help.
Liam White
I don't have money to get proper help
Bentley Hill
>and I can't be sure I'll see him again >obsessive >clingy >emotionally dependant you sound very yandere
therapy won't help, you just need to plan something with him to do while hes gone. Maybe ask to him read and record a novel you're both into so you can hear his voice and be comforted and relaxed.
Gabriel Price
I Googled that and it reminded me of saying this
That's a really good idea actually, but I'm the one who normally reads to him
Well, he is 6ft 4 and muscly and I am 5ft 4 and weigh 100lbs. I think it would look funny if I tried to start anything. I would dare to hurt him in any way if he didn't do anything to hurt me!
Bentley Bailey
Wouldn't *
Brody Clark
>What if he dies on the way home? Seems like you have a bigger issue than being clingy, or maybe this big issue is what's causing it.
You have to come to terms with death and loss. It's a part of life. It happens all around us, and sometimes to us. At times we can prevent the loss, at others we can't. If we love said person and help him at times of need, and he dies, it will be sad but you cannot blame yourself and do not let depression sink because you enjoyed the lives of each other and you should be grateful.
The more you fear death, the less you live. It is important to fear threats and know how dangerous a situation can get but the fear of death itself is a crippling fear many live with. It limits and weakens you, for absolutely no reason.
Relax, don't think about it. Enjoy the love and the good times you share with the person.
Aaron Miller
(; wouldn't hurt to be physical in the bed
Do you guys have weekend dates often? you need to have some sort of activity to break out of this needy spell at home.
Brandon Hall
This hit way too close to home. I'll give this more thought.
We go out all the time. And yeah in bed yes but I'm a sub
Jackson Martinez
You need to feed your attachment to him by doing something for him while hes away at work, maybe help working on the home projects by yourself to save him time doing chores and allowing him to focus more attention to you.
Bentley Brooks
Oh you see i do all that already. He has OCD so the house is immaculate. I dust and vacuum every morning and all that. I really enjoy cleaning when I wake up but it doesnt take me the whole day at all
Carter Thompson
I see, what about redecorating the home? is there a room that needs to be redone. If not that then you need to create something for him, perhaps work on your own fictional erotica novel for him to enjoy.
Stop obsessing over your boyfriend and go get a hobby for once.
Justin Russell
I havw hobbies. I play piano, guitar, bass. We go mountain climbing together. I paint. That doesn't stop me being sad when he's away
Joseph Perry
Get professional help. Your boyfriend works. Maybe he can help you out if you don't have money.
Joseph Butler
Oh girl, if you keep acting like this, he will dump your crazy ass once honeymoon phase is over. No sane person enjoys being smothered like this all the time.
>work on your own fictional erotica novel for him to enjoy this! i wrote short fantasy for my bf and it got him off.
Lincoln Bell
Does he feed you, take you for a walk and rub your belly?
Julian Jones
BPD as fuck
David Rodriguez
I dont have BPD, I met someone who has bpd. I would never cheat. I don't have those kinds of mood swings. Im not BPD.
I feed him but he does take me for walks and gives me pet pets and massages.
Matthew Morales
>he left his family to live with me This is why you are insecure, you know he'll leave you if a prettier/younger girl comes along and it bothers you. It won't work out, especially with you acting like a psycho.
Eli Diaz
No, he won't leave me. He said if I try to leave him, I die as well. He loves me very much and I know he is planning to marry me. I don't have to worry about him wanting to date other girls because none of them will live him like I do and most of them are stupid and shallow.
Easton Scott
>stupid and shallow. So exactly like you? You're insecure, and have reason to be You're going to end up alone, be "happy" with him until then, no one wants to live with a psychopath forever, even if he's just as much of an edgelord as you are
Caleb Richardson
But I have a masters degree and do property investment and help with stocks and play instruments and read novellas for him and cook for him and clean for him. I don't want to leave him. I'm happy with him, I don't see how your answer would be for me to leave him and die alone. That's a silly answer.
Easton Mitchell
>your answer would be for me to leave him and die alone You're not going to leave him, he's going to leave you because you're boring, everything you just said solidifies that thought. You literally made a post on a Brazilian waxing forum to talk about what a psycho bitch you are, what more do I need to know about the situation?
Josiah Richardson
:( why am I boring?
Wyatt Walker
He doesn't think I'm boring and I don't think he will leave me. What do you think makes someone not boring?
Daniel Lee
A year and half ago I wouldn't understand where you come from, now I met my bf and I definitely can. I love him so much and he's my world, I sometimes wake up at night to check if he's still breathing.
Go to therapy. Learn to manage your emotions in a healthy manner. It gets a little better.
Christian Edwards
don't listen to this user, I'd give a limb for a clingy gf that genuinely cared for me. Latch onto him and never let him go.
Josiah Lopez
This. This guy will dump OPs ass when he inevitably get bored with her clingy psychotic antics and new girl will come round. It's 4chin so people will tell you that a clingy gf is their greatest fantasy. But if your bf is a normie in 3-5 years he will be fed up with your behaviour. Maybe even sooner...
Christian Gray
They met off Jow Forums.
Daniel Sanchez
Grow some balls World would be so much better if women had male brains
I'm going to kill your boyfriend while hes at work and you'll be mine forever you little slut
Henry Miller
I'm a guy and I have those same feels, but I have never been in a relationship. When I talk to girls who I believe could be potential girlfriends, I get super sad when they don't respond immediately. I fall in full depression mode and feelings of worthlessness, and when the message finally comes I feel on top of the world again. I have learned not to show my neediness and how clingy I am by responding the girls normally when it's time to chat again, but the dread is unbearable when it's quiet again. The worst is when things just don't work out and they start to message me less and less, it's when I know she's not into me and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. Despite knowing the natural course of things I still try to chat with them and try to get the conversation going.
Maybe getting equally clingy gf could be the thing for me, assuming we're both just as clingy for each other. That may sound like a recipe for a disaster, but if the clingyness is mutual and well balanced I think it could work. Where do I even find clingy girls? The girls I meet from Jow Forums always seem to be just bored and wanting someone to chat with for a week and then abandon me like it meant nothing.
Michael Phillips
this behavior is profoundly unattractive having food ready and being affectionate is all well and good, but sitting around doing nothing and crying is absolutely ridiculous. get your shit together before he leaves you
Brayden Perez
A decent therapist would help but ok well you need to focus on things you need/want to do for him and yourself while remaining clam for him. He wants a embrace not neurotic clinging when he comes home, he should get that. You're doing it for him, that's how it is and you need to accept reality or he will eventually become annoyed. There's no reason to do that to him, he would like it much better if you weren't that way.
Jason Bell
kidnap and hide him in a bunker where he'll be safe and sound c:
Kayden Wood
where do I find a girlfriend like OP? Is it worth it?
Kevin Roberts
tfw no qt obsessed gf to lock me in a dark rape dungeon
>Is it worth it? Yes, for first 6 months then you have enough. I lasted 2 years but had to dump her because she was unbearable
Ryan Jenkins
Imagine you and he have had a full, happy life together. You've done everything you want to do. Your grandkids visit often. both your bucket lists have nothing left on them. You're still as in love as you are today.
He slips into a coma as men in their nineties do from time to time. The odds that he ever wakes up are slim, and the doctor suggests you say goodbye to him while some part of him can still hear you.
Now write out what you say to him.
If you can force yourself to do this, I truly believe that you'll get to a better place about being without him.
Chase Cook
Fucking normies coming on my boards and stealing all the clingly yandere femanon gf's. Give them back I want one
Luke Lopez
>All these people saying he's going to leave her for being too clingy If OP's bf isn't an awful person he won't. The only guys that really get annoyed by clinginess are the ones that like to go to clubs and exchange STDs with the girls at the bar. Unless OP is the type of clingy that threatens suicide like everyday. What REALLY hurts is when you have a clingy gf and things fade. My first (and last) gf was really clingy when we started dating and I absolutely loved it, but eventually she got to the point where she no longer seemed to care, so I dumped her. A few months after dumping her she still insisted she never lost interest and was pretty devastated when I dumped her , so I kinda regret that (was too late to get together at that point though). So, don't let up. Make sure to always reaffirm to your bf that you love him, or else he might assume otherwise.
