I think I might be asexual but I might just be afraid of sex. How do I know the difference?

So you've already been in an intimate situation?

Relax, get a good friend (or a prostitute if you can't) and try to do stuff slowly so you don't get anxious. If you still don't like it without anxiety you're asexual. Otherwise you might have problems with intimacy in general so try to get a psycholigist.

Nothing major. I'm still a virgin because like I said I never had the intense sexual desires other guys did in like high school for example. I was made fun of a lot in school though for a variety of things so that probably contributed to it. Like "why bother being myself if people are going to make fun of me" and that extends to sex as well I guess.

I've been to two psychologists in the last few years but I never got anywhere with them. I feel like I have a grasp on the problem but don't know what to actually do about it.

But do you get attention from women at all?

Also no. I wouldn't even say I'm that unattractive either. I'm not overweight and I take good care of my hygiene. I don't think a girl has ever felt anything romantic toward me though.

I don't know if you tried some therapy like CBT, it should work with this at least to reduce the anxiety.

Also if you're not interested in girls it's hard they grow feelings for you, since you don't show any attraction or probably intimate conversation. You can try to work on that to do the final asexual check.

Asexuals don't exist, it's called a fucked libido due to stress or too much anime porn.

they're the same thing

I haven't done much of that really. Since I'm not seeing a therapist or anyone right now, what would you recommend looking into when it comes to that sort of stuff? If you know much about, that is.

You mean the therapists? The expert here is my girlfriend since she has OCD (the everything is dirty" one) and anxiety derived from that. She was told to avoid washing her hands whenever she came in contact with something dirty since anxiety is reduced through time even if you don't believe so. So if you ever get anxious try to deal with it until you can't hold it anymore. Then relax and try again sometime after.

So kind of like exposure therapy? I don't know how that could be applied to sex and intimacy though.

You can't really know until you try

I've been there and I wasn't sure until the very end

I don't know either, it's the best I can come up with. The name of the therapy is cognitive behavioral therapy if you want to investigate if it's applied to sexual anxiety. I'll do so, I'm curious now hahaha.

I'm looking it up myself but I'd be interested to see what you find. There's a lot of scholarly articles to dig through but I don't have time today.

Right. Well then you can't know for sure unless you've been in such a situation. Honestly if you don't get any attention why do you care if you're afraid or whatever, you probably won't be in such a situation.

This might sound stupid, but maybe you just need to find the right person. I had never been sexually attracted to anyone until I met my partner. I used to masturbate quite frequently, but only to 2D fantasies, and even when I tried to insert myself into those, I’d get turned off. It took meeting a specific person and getting progressively closer to them for over three years to unlock that within me and make me see myself and another person in a sexual way.

Have you ever had close female friends?

Again not really. The only girls I ever consistently talked to were schoolmates and coworkers. Most of my experiences with girls have been negative, as bitter as that may sound.

I see. Well I’m not sure how you could get closer to women, but I think that would help. Do you have a group of friends you hang out with?

I have one good friend but he doesn't know any girls either. We're pretty similar that way. We were both outcasts in high school.

I don't see why you'd care then. Females don't find you attractive so if you ever find yourself in an intimate situation with a girl (if nothing happened in your 20s it probably won't happen) you'll know then.

Then I guess my best advice would be to try to make more friends in general. If you’re in school, maybe join clubs surrounding hobbies you’re interested in. Volunteer somewhere. Or ever make friends and join groups online.