What should a good girl do to find a good husband (past college age)? My story is unusual - I spent the first 30 years of my life in hospitals fighting a frequently terminal illness most doctors didn't think I'd survive. Now, thankfully, I've recovered enough to finally start living a "normal" life.
Obviously, I'm 30 which I've heard isn't the best age to begin dating, and I have zero dating experience, but the plus side of that is that I don't have any kids or past baggage (for dating I mean.) I think I have a lot to offer a man: I'm a very honest, devoted, loyal, moral person, unusually attractive and thin. What I want most in life is just to be a good housewife to a good man (not saying I won't work if he wants me to though.)
I want to be a good mommy to his children if he has or wants any, but I don't need to have a baby if my future husband doesn't want any or is an older man whose children are adults for example and doesn't want more. My interests and personality are in line with my goals: I'm feminine and submissive, definitely not a feminist, I'm not interested in casual sex or cheating, but very interested in sex within the context of a good marriage. I would be so happy to become really good at cooking and cleaning and to take care of my family that way.
What's overwhelming to me is basically: I have no dating experience so how does someone start? The other part is that I'm basically looking for an oldfashioned relationship but so much of dating these days doesn't really seem to be about that ... Bars, tinder, casual sex, game playing ... I read so much about all these things on dating advice websites. How does a girl like me find a good husband without basically having to wade through a sea of people who don't seem to be looking for the same thing I am at all - or is that necessary and somewhere in that sea I'll find him? I could really use some advice
May I ask what your frequently terminal illness which lasted 30 years was?
Aiden Robinson
Sounds like some form of cancer.
OP, sign up for OKCupid and put down that you are looking for serious dating only.
Daniel Wilson
For 30 years? That hasn't effected her fertility or looks in any way?
Jonathan Russell
If you live nearby sign me up.
Benjamin Mitchell
This is obviously just my opinion, but a huge concern of mine is your earning potential as well as recurring or potential medical expenses.
Alexander Bell
Thanks for the advice!
I'll address the medical stuff in the next comment but yes, you're somewhat right
Ryder Parker
Without going into too much detail, cancer and being in a coma. I should clarify though that it wasn't 30 years of nonstop illness. Problems started developing during my childhood which lead to me being taken out of school and all of the usual growing up stuff. Then I've been back at home for a while but wanted to make sure I was fully recovered so went through several years of physical and mental therapy under a doctors care ... Wanted to make sure I was ready for normal life, fully recovered and wasn't going to just fall apart physically. I probably didn't look too healthy a couple years ago but now no one would be able to tell I've had health problems by looking at me.
You're right that I stupidly forgot my fertility could be more extensively tested for than it has been.
As for my appearance ... Funnily enough, years of much lower than average sun exposure plus absolutely no partying or substances (not that I would have anyway) have actually left me looking much younger than my peers. People tend to be shocked when they learn my age
Jordan Carter
Where are you from?
Levi Harris
That's a good point. I actually worked on getting a degree online during my recovery time, but I am obviously behind the curve in that respect. As for medical stuff ... I do have good insurance and family support but I could see that being a concern for someone. Any advice for mitigating these issues?
Luis Wood
Good ol California.
Out of curiosity, how long were you in a coma? What was it like?
Lucas Stewart
Thanks for the confirmation.
So have you had cancer for most of your teenage and adult life? I've never heard of any cancer lasting this long, then an individual surviving it - if only because treatment is very limited and can only be done so many times.
How long were you put in a coma for? And what kind of treatment did you have? Sorry for all the questions, this is just such a rare thing to happen.
Are you in remission at the moment? And have doctors given you any indication of whether it will return?
Jordan Moore
I don't know, but I do wish you the best.
John Ramirez
i honestly like you, just from reading your posts, sadly i'm a 19y old german boy
Owen Martinez
Welcome to the 21st century. The vast majority of men can't make enough money to support a family anymore. I suggest you find a job. If you want to have children, chances are you're also going to have to work at least part time.
Dylan Cruz
I think this is also a bait thread. Who has thirty year long cancer.
Julian Price
And specifically, who spends the first 30 years of their life in a hospital?
Michael Cox
Look at disconnecting relationships thread. There's literally a guy in there who want only an honest relationship. Just read what he says and it lines up really well with what you want
Elijah Butler
Where do you live? I'm 25 and live in Oregon. I wouldn't mind dating a 30 y/o if you were close and our views and aspirations about love line up perfectly. I'm stable, sober, and have been living on my own since 18
Benjamin Johnson
Unfortunately women who have hit 30 are red flags for most men.
Theres a reason a woman hits 30 and is still single and it isnt a good one.
Cameron Ramirez
well as you can tell by men literally fawning over you on a nigerian basket weaving forum. I said "most" men
