Any single parents here? How do you all deal with stress? I have a 5 year old that can be very difficult at times. Today he acted up when he was having lunch, didn't want to eat what was I front of him and would spit it out. Tried the eye level corrections, and also tried spoon feeding him counting bites he had left to no avail. Finally patience ran out and he got spanked. Needless to say, he finished his lunch. I feel horrible for doing that. Any advice Jow Forums?
Any single parents here? How do you all deal with stress? I have a 5 year old that can be very difficult at times...
Cooper Roberts
Asher Cook
I hate a 4 year old
I know exactly your problem
If he doesn't want to eat, which I try to fight, but if he refuses, we just skip dinner
If he's not hungry then he's not fucking hungry
Michael Thomas
Even if he hasn't eaten all day? I sometimes worry, like he's not fucking eating. Do you wait for your kid to ask for food? He woke up at 8am this morning and had no breakfast, and his lunch was at 130pm... I fucking get worry he's not eating
Anthony Sanchez
Haha
I said "hate" and not "have". Freudian slip.
Like I said, I know exactly that problem. And I don't have a solution.
It's TV that kills his attention, IMO. his mom puts on a cartoon and his attention is totally absorbed.
It's not my favourite situation.
When I'm his only focus. And we can pay attention to food, he eats a shit ton
It's the fucking stupid TV that ruins things.
And your phone.
Asher Hill
I‘ve been in your situation countless times.
Believe me, i know exactly how fucking frustrating it is.
But force feedig is NEVER a solution.
I‘ve been battling my stand about this for years, but the conclusion really is that you‘re doing a lot more damage than good.
I get it, it‘s infuriating to feel like you‘ve raised an ungrateful and entitled monster.
Can i ask you something about your own eating habits? Are you one of those people who can eat almost everything and maybe overeat frequently? One with a „tough stomach“? Like, you‘re not one of those people who „aren‘t hungry“ as soon as they‘re even slightly upset?
On your question about dealing with stressfull situations as a single parent:
There‘s only so much you can do. You ARE in a situation that is per definition way too much for one person to handle. You won‘t get trough this without getting overwhelmed and stressed the fuck out. You WILL loose your cool and want to just walk out of your life. Many, many times. Realizing that this situation is tough as fuck and way too much to ask from ANYONE will help you put things a bit into perspection. You are NOT, by any means, a bas parent who just needs just try a little harder and get their shit together and everything would be like you want or need it to be. That‘s an illusion that does nothing than bring you a lot if guilt and pain you really don‘t need on top of everything else you‘re already dealing with.
You‘re doing your best every day. Just like everyone else. Unfortunately, the best your energy might allow you on some days is to plop the little one infront of the tv and feed them unhealthy stuff all day so they leave you the fuck alone for a few hours so you can just be a lazy ass for a tiny moment. You‘re not a superhuman with endless resources. At some point it‘s just enough and it‘s way better to have them have some pedagogically questionable entertainment and nutritionally subpar day than have a / cont
Bentley Green
If your kid doesn't want to eat, don't force them. Your job is to provide the food, not shove it down his/her throat. If they want to be hungry let them. Eventually, when they start feeling bad, they'll figure it out.
Brandon Cook
Than have a parent with a burnout who is so on endge they‘re always shouting and maybe even get physical.
I‘m sure you‘re aware that you should put a big focus on finding help for you to take a bit of the burden off of your shoulders. Letting him sleep over at his grandparents, play dates, and so on. You need to be able to decompress and fill up your energy tanks, or it will all come crashing down sooner or later. You are who takes care of your kid and you can only take care of him/her as good as you take care of yourself. You can‘t give something you don‘t have.
See, the problem with the force feeding is this: it teaches your kid to disregard his own feelings (hunger, disgust, being full, ...) in order to do what you want from him. It will male it very hard for him/her to reconnect with that „i can trust my own feelings“ security later on. And that is a god damn fucking huge issue, believe me. Just imagine one situation: your kid is about to be the target of a sexual assualt, let‘s say from a teacher. Now, if he learned to trust his own feeling he will know that what‘s going down isn‘t ok and might try to get out of the situation. That alone already makes him less likely to be a target. Someone assaulting a minor doesn‘t want them to make a huge deal about it. They want them to be intimidated and possibly even feel like it‘s their own fault. That‘s the strategy. „Nobody will believe you. I‘m just being nice to you, don‘t you want to be a bit nice to me?“. A kid that‘s used to his feeling not matching up with what‘s expected will be more likely to disregard the bad gut feeling and do what‘s demanded to not upset the other. Making your kid eat up desite him feeling full or disgusted teaches exactly that.
I know you dreamed of a kid that happily and gratefully eats the healthy and balanced meals you‘ve cooked only because you want the best for them. But you might have to let go of that dream of the super parent.
Cameron Edwards
Hahaha wife forces my 4yo to eat as we speak.
It's a huge problem for us, but on the other hand I remember how allcmy family had the same problem with me when I was little, they always told me I was a no-eater.
I would just ignore it and allow him to not eat, but he gets angry & bitchy when he's hungry.
One thing - though 4yo, he already knows how how to play people. When he's with grandma or wife, he just starts to cry and they leave him alone.
He knows he can't pull that shit off with me, so he usually eats without a problem & with little to no whining.
Also, he knows I'll spank him if he goes too far.
Ayden Evans
Congrats on making your child do what you want with fear. You‘re really someone to look up to. Maybe you should write a parenting book about that technique. Oh wait - it‘s already a thing and it‘s called fucking your kid up for good.
Logan White
Fuck on off. She shouldn't have snapped, but when you have kids (particulalry as a single parent) it happens sometimes. And it's not going to permanently fuck up the little bastard. If getting spanked once is the worst thing to happen to him, he'll be fine.
Gabriel Bell
I wasn‘t talking about op, i talked about the user who is proud of the fact his kid eats everything he gives him but not when his wife does so and then adds that he „spanks him if he goes too far“. Ofc you can get a child to do whatever the fuck you want if dou spank him if he doesn‘t do so.
Gabriel Rogers
Whoops, my bad.
Brody Stewart
No problem, it happens
Caleb Wilson
Are you a single mother? There's absolutely nothing wrong with his parenting.
Matthew Roberts
>Maybe you should write a parenting book about that technique.
Maybe I fucking should. It would certainly be better than those "stressless parenting" books pushed down our throats by leftists.
In Sweden, Norway and few other countries the authorities take away children even if you yell at the kid. They banned spanking in the 70's an now you have entire generation of castrated cucks who do nothing when muslims rape their women.
Fun fact - I never ever spanked him so far, the knowledge that I can is enough to discipline him when he crosses the line.
You literally know nothing about rasing a kid.
Jose Davis
Describe the spanking. Pants down on bare? Over lap? Hairbrush full force until sobbing and promising to be good? Have to make them effective to work, can't be an amateur about it
Jordan White
How does he know you can if you‘ve never done so?
I agree that there‘s an issue. There‘s a balance in raising kids between using violence and letting kids run all over you that we as a society haven‘t found yet. But as much as i don‘t see the „no violence“ work, i‘m sure that spanking kids sends a really wrong message about how to treat yourself, your emotions and others. Definitely not something i‘d want to teach my kids. I was spanked a lot as a kid (christian parents, all the „he who loves his son disciplines him“). Sure, for the few years between being born and moving out, that worked like a charm for my parents. I did what was expected of me, since nobody in their right mind risks getting beaten with the belt if you can avoid it with disregarding yourself and your emotions and some „yes sir‘s“.
Now i‘m an adult and married and i can not even begin to tell you the obstacles i had to take in my marriage to try and get over the issues of being absolutely out of whack with my self. I have no sense of were i need to etablish boundaries or how to go trough an argument. All i learned was „bottle shit up“ and „it‘s irrelevant what you want, you do what i want or you‘ll regret it“. Not a very good base to lead a functional relationship.
Aaron Perry
Try leaning to make better pizzas. Then he'll want to eat. Also you can tell him he can't have any of the pizza you made as punishment to teach him to be good
Cooper Cruz
Give your son food unless you want him to be a manlet.
Jordan Sanders
>Finally patience ran out and he got spanked. Needless to say, he finished his lunch. I feel horrible for doing that.
You did good. Don't feel bad.
Also, at 5 he should already be eating on his own, including cutting meat.
I have a much younger cousin. His mother read all them stressless parenting books and his dad didn't give a fuck.
He was insanely spoiled and annoying. He still wore diapers at the age of 6 and insufferable. Luckily he got straightened up later.
>How does he know you can if you‘ve never done so?
I spanked him a few times as a joke when we ware playing, he can imagine what the real thing would feel like.
I was spanked only a few times by my parents, I don't think it damaged me. Once my mum spanked the crap out of me when I threw myself on the sidewalk & started screaming because she woudn't buy me a toy. I think she did the right thing.
I rarely force my kid to do anything, and I often letvhim do things his way, but when I do - like "get dressed for kindergarden" I expect obedience. It can save his life one day - like "don't run on the tram station" or "hold my hand on crosswalk".
That doesn't always work, mine some6imes won't even eat french fries.
Nathan Long
French fries are nasty that's why. Try pizza
Parker Clark
He loves them. And ice cream. And pizza. And kebab. My point is, no good food will do the trick if kids eats it too often.
Leo Hill
>these pathetic yank parents afraid to give their child a slap on the arse
If your child hasn't learned to fear the sound of a belt being pulled through belt loops, then you're parenting wrong.
Parker Hernandez
>Finally patience ran out and he got spanked.
>I'm 23 years old.
>I dropped out of UNI last fall, and disappointed the fuck out of my dad.
>Dad wanted me to file for social security last november.
>I halfheartedly filed for social security and went back and forth with the government for half a year.
>I entrepreneured off the books this May and payed my dad 1 month's rent for the first time after being a NEET for a year.
My dad want me to get a summer job so he hooked me up with my uncle who inspects fire extinguishers, but I turned that Job down yesterday.
Right now I'm being a NEET smoking the devils lettuce behind my Dad's back. Turning down jobs he's pestering me to get.
Laying his rent money on the back burner until I get my tax returns.
If my dad had broken a coffee pot over my head back in 2001 that would've been one thing. But he spanked me for 5-10 minutes.
OP you might as well have stuck your dick inside your son and called him a bitch.
You literally went out of your way to humiliate your son.
Spanking is a gorillion times more humiliating than it is painful. You wrestled your son onto your lap and attacked his butt cheeks.
You couldn't have humiliated your son more if you tried. You've made him feel like he is your bitch. He's always going to remember.
Have fun while he's still smaller and stupider than you are.
Gavin Sullivan
Go back to soc with your spank fetish.
Eli Wright
If you try and force them to eat it just makes things worse. Just tell them they can eat what you make or they can starve. Then they are the masters of their own misery.
Did I get trolled?
Either way, condolences. I'd rather eat a bullet than be a single mom.
Camden Allen
>>I would just ignore it and allow him to not eat, but he gets angry & bitchy when he's hungry.
That's why I will allow a glass of milk. Fills them up without giving them the satisfaction.
>4yo can manipulate
babies start that shit at 6 months. Thats whatpisses me off about people who are all against CIO. They underestimate a babies' will.
Ayden Thompson
Spankings don't take 5 to 10 minutes. I think you may have been secretely molested by your dad.
Aaron Perez
>Also, he knows I'll spank him if he goes too far.
basically what you're saying is
>I'm raising my child like the niggers do
>and I'm proud of it!
>Spankings don't take 5 to 10 minutes.
If i didn't know better I'd think panicked five y/o little boys perceive time as going slower
whenever their ass cheeks are physically assaulted.
Julian Lopez
Joseph Walker
>manbaby thinks he knows more about raising kids than parents
Neck yourself
Kayden Lewis
I'm that guy just to be clear.
&
>manbaby
I think you're being too generous.
Babies have a bit more personal integrity than I have.
>thinks he knows more about raising kids than parents
I haven't said I knew more than you people,
and I haven't explicitly discouraged you from raising your kids your way.
I'd would be I am today if I was raised any other way. My personality would be totally different;
if I said I 'wished I could've been raised differently' it'd be tantamount to wishing I never existed at all.
Charles Clark
Hey all, fell asleep but I'm here. I'm a single dad. It gets frustrating at time no doubt about it. So after reading most of it I shouldn't force him to eat, and even when it's time to eat I should just wait for him to ask, is that right? Let him ask for food. I spanked him in the thigh, not a beating either. I was spanked as a kid myself and I'm here, and I turned out ok.
Jose Davis
How can you have a 5yo kid and not have figured out these things?
I’m worked as a babysitter for a long time, with different kids. Plenty of time to try out different things. You can say okay if he doesn’t want to eat, but if he’s hungry he’ll get the same food later. You can also try to take his tastes into consideration, if he doesn’t like x vegetable but likes all other, you can maybe skip the one he doesn’t like. You can prepare the food together, this gives him time to accept that he’s going to have to eat whatever you’re preparing.
Jacob Lewis
>t. single mother
Isaac Davis
You're right, I didn't think of that. One night ago I offered him three small pieces of broccoli. He cried about it, I told him to try just one. I said "just try a little of it" he did and gagged and almost made himypuke. I told him not to eat it since he didn't like it. He then finished the remaining of his food. But I will definitely try this, I'll ask him what he would like to eat and see how that works. Again, it's not that I want to force feed him. Sometimes he won't eat the entire day and I get worry
Anthony Hill
Addendum- -
Look, some days you wake up on the wrong side. And I did today.
So let me be clear, I love my dad.
In all my 13 years of school I never performed so poorly I had to retake a subject.
I worked a concrete job for 3-4 years, and I even got a pay raise.
To all you who are parents, I just ask of you to give your kids some allowance for performing well in school. Recognize their accomplishments more than my dad and they won't be bitching on some message board in 18 years.
Blake James
Good luck! Broccoli is a tough one, you can try making soup. One of the kids I was babysitting hated tomato, but he'd have tomato soup. We also had broccoli soup once but I doubt he'd want to try regular broccoli.
I try to aim for a good atmosphere while eating, but also eating reasonably. You don't need to like all, you don't need to eat all, but you can't just live on sausages and burgers. It's good that you don't give up when he refuses to eat (this kid I mentioned hated all vegetables, but he was required to eat a bit of any of them. His parents usually gave up, and I could tell he figured out he could make a scene, pretend he was puking, argue for 20 minues bla bla bla and get away without eating veggies. I never let him get away so he learnt he'd really have to try to eat if I was in charge).