Some of you may have been rejected but told “But we can be friends!” Or have had a female friend since childhood. Now the question is; Is it worth any effort to have a female friend? In my experiences, the whole possibility of relationships and sex thing gets in the way of the friendship and is a matter of time.
TL,DR: Is it worth the time/effort to have a female that’s a friend?
If you like her as a person, it is
/thread
Is it worth it to have male friends? I've been rejected by a guy friend to make our relationship physical, one that I've adored as a person for years, and he didn't exactly say no, but he did basically tell me to shut up. And yet still wants be friendly/on good terms. So I don't think he deserves anything from me anymore. I also don't think he has the heart to contact me again though, I was always the first to contact him. So. It's still crushing.
Am I reading this right?
>Your friend doesn't want to date you.
>Therefore he doesn't deserve your friendship.
I get cutting contact because you think it's too painful to be around them or something, but this seems incredibly petty.
no. women make awful friends compared to men.
in the same way you dont marry whores, you dont befriend women.
I wish I could have female friends but it doesn't seem like they want me for anything more than sex or relationships then ghost me when they realize I can't do that for them.
It's honestly painful losing people I feel like I was getting to know really well this way.
It depends on the person, but my personal experience has shown it isn't worth it to have female friends. The girls I know really only keep guys around for entertainment, or casual hookups under the guise of being "just friends". Sex is almost never separated, whether they're using their sexuality to influence a guy, or they're actually hooking up with them. Again, it is entirely probable to be friends with a girl, and possible to be good acquaintances, but I'd recommend staying away from a friendship with them unless you can fuck them or don't mind being an orbiter.
Fuck no. I remember orbiting a girl and thinking it wasn't so bad just being her friend. Now I look back on it with disgust.
Get yourself a nice gf. It'll be just like having a female friend only she'll suck your dick whenever you want and rub her pussy in your face, not her bullshit.
Yes. I value all my female friends. It's up to you if you can resist the allure of their strange vagina magics.
nevermind all the raging incels, it actually is worth it to be friends. I was friends with a lot of girls and they helped me out with any relationships advice I might need.
Of course if the two of you are single and are physically attracted to each other, friends with benefits is also a possibility.
No. He doesn't want to have SEX with me. Forget dating. Where the fuck did you get "dating" out of any of that.
That just sounds even more unreasonable.
really depends on what you define a "female friend" as.
A. if a female friend is someone you like talking to then its a good idea (chit chat, jokes, discussion)
B. if a female friend is someone who invites you to go out and do dumb shit then its not a good idea (orbiting)
A is a lot better than B because it makes you look more desirable among women while not actually wasting your time with someone you'll never have an intimate relationship with.
I mean it's kind of what OP is asking about. I don't have to be friends with someone I wanted to sleep with who doesn't want the same.
>I don't have to be friends with someone I wanted to sleep with who doesn't want the same.
You don't have to be friends with anybody, but the fact that you're saying 'he doesn't deserve your friendship' makes it clear you're either being pretty fuckin selfish or you've got issues.
Why is it orbiting? I had a couple female friends I did this with and had a girlfriend along with that. It was fantastic.
My "issue" is wasting time on people who don't want the same things I do. You sound like a bitter asshole who got spurned by a woman for not making your move fast enough. Fuck off.
>My "issue" is wasting time on people who don't want the same things I do.
OK so you're a narcissist.
i had to make some generalizations when i said that but if you had a good time then you're not wasting it
Yes, absolutely. I have a strong platonic relationship with my only (((female))) friend, a girl i know since my childhood. We are always together, going to concerts, sharing similar interests in literature, science, etc, she's just an amazing creature and i enjoy spending my time with her. Never felt something different towards her and i think i don't want to even think about it.
What we have now is worth a lot.
Hurr but user you could be spending time with a girl who will let you fuck her hurrrrrr
Eventually the time came and I fucked all my female friends that I used to have. Now I don't have female friends anymore. My old female friends got me into MFF threesomes my old male friends couldn't even be my wingman.
Having female friends is great. If someone gets more then just friends feelings then things will get complicated.
You should have a few female friends.
I've been married for over a decade and in that relationship for two, so thats a big part of what I'm gonna say.
Female friends are fine as long as you're not looking for sex. If you're in a relationship, getting it on the side, into dudes, whatever, then theres no real problem. Sure, you might feel a twinge of attraction, there might even be tension, but it doesn't consume you. Its a thing that you can manage as a result. That opens the door to having women as friends, it means that you can have a wider range of experiences, it means you know people you can set your male friends up with.
My life is genuinely better because of my social circle and the women in it are part of that, but the relationships have to be symbiotic. You have to get back what you put into it like any other relationship, you have to have the boundaries and enough of your shit together to make it no different from your male friendships. They have to contribute as much as you do.
If you're just waiting to fuck them, though, you're as useless as tits on a bull.
Yes if she can be a bro-not using you as a footstep to rub her problems on.
If she is attractive you are going to want to fuck her and then you cant be friends unless she wants to fuck you too, but girls dont want to fuck until they are like 30 they only ever want attention. they only want attention. they only want attention.
If she is fat or ugly then be friends with her to network to her attractive friends you would want to fuck but dont get into the gay best-friendzone.
>Is it worth any effort to have a female friend?
If you dont mind having the whiff of pussy constantly around you without getting any, then yes. Also prepare to be an emotional tampon or a big wuvvy teddy bear.
I honestly dont think men and women can be friends cause the man is always going to want to fuck her, unless he isnt sexually attracted to her at all. But lets just be honest with ourselves males are hardwired to want to fuck their female friends.
I think it's okay to have a female friend if you have no interest in sleeping with her. I've had girls interested in sleeping with me when I just wanted a companion to cure my loneliness. In that case I decided to friend zone them because I didn't find them attractive enough (even if I liked their personality).
>Get yourself a nice gf. It'll be just like having a female friend only she'll suck your dick whenever you want and rub her pussy in your face, not her bullshit.
This is the best response
Man, this fucking board never learns shit. Or it's all just teenagers. I don't know.
Female friends are good shit. They show other women you aren't a creepy obsessed beta loser, they introduce you to other women, they let you learn real shit about women besides what you got from your Jow Forums maymays.
If you're an adult with sexual options that doesn't desperately fall in love with every girl that speaks to you, you're fine with female friends. If you're a little bitch that is constantly panicking about getting ANYONE to fuck you, well, you already know your answer. Keep spending time with your redpill message boards.
Define friend? I can't personally think of any female whom I would hang out with 1 on 1, like come over and watch shows together and go places together unless I were interested in them. It's one thing to be friendly with a female co-worker or classmate when you see them and be friendly and nice, but if by friend you mean the same thing as what I would do with my male friends, then no, I don't think being friends with a woman is very realistic to me, anyways. I also think one of the most backhanded things a woman can do is say 'but we should still be friends!' after they dump you or reject you. Simply because they know that the person they just told that to doesn't have any interest being friends, they obviously want something much more. so to say that to them after they JUST asked you out or even worse, to say that to someone whom you've been dating for months or even years is a really backhanded, weak, and frankly un-nice thing to say or do. I know as a man, I've never said that to anyone whom I've dumped or to anyone whom I've said no to if they've asked me out. What a stupid and frankly mean thing to say or do to someone. Big pet peeve to me. Had it happen with a gf I dated for a year and she said that after she dumped me and all I could think was "?????"
i have never had a female friend that i wasnt sexual with. to me a female friend without sex or sexual games is a waste of time.
all the girls im friends with rn do sex related stuff with me so maybe im biased. but i just dont see the point.
what am i going to do talk about my feelings with you? go shopping? im not a girl im a man and i want to do man things with a woman.
Having female friends (or friends in general) solves 99.9% of the threads in Jow Forums. Want to be confident talking to girls, or know how to propose, whether you look good, have fun, or ask about sex -> female friend is there.
I have male friends since I was a kid. Not orbiters, friends.
I think friendship with opposite gender is pretty awesome and definitely worth a try, I personally think it was enriching for both me and my male friends.
Actually a lot of guys here would benefit from learning to be friends with girls.
Your probably fat?
What if I have no sexual options at all and get infatuated with every woman that gives me attention? I can't help it
echoing what other people have said here, yes, it’s worth the effort to have female friends, just as you’d put in effort to have other friends.
basically a chance for you to practice not falling in love with every person that shows you some measure of human decency/kindness, and talking to women without being a complete and total sperg. that way, if you do happen to make a connection with someone you fancy, you can actually communicate with them like a normal human being instead of spilling all your spaghetti.
win-win, at least the way i see it. plus, a friendship that starts out platonic might develop into something more, depending on who it is, but the main point of making female friends is just to make friends. for god’s sake, have something to talk about/connect over.
You can. Improve yourself, stop being so desperate, enlarge your social circle. It is organic, it will happen over time.
How do I stop coming off as desperate?
You don't come off as desperate, you are desperate.
You need to set standards higher than "she talks back to me and is cute enough" for your potential SO.
Meet people, talk to them, try to have fun, make friends.
Nearly 40 posts and none as worth reading as this
Friends are friends.
Shitty people are shitty people.
Gender is gender.
this if you treat a girl like a real person, you don’t have to worry about being desperate
make some friends my man
No you and your male friends just start competing sexually for her favor.
I'm gay af and let me tell you, women are annoying when they have mental disorders and theyre not sexually involved with you. I have female friends, but they are mentally stable. I had female friends in the past with depression or BPD, etc and theyre NOT worth the trouble.
Find yourself a stable woman and you will easily become friends. Thats all there is to it
I was rejected for taking too long to meet up with a girl with an anxiety disorder (and she said she started talking to an old friend, sounds like she wants to get with them) then told she’d still like to see the movie I suggested we see this Friday as friends, would you say an anxiety disorder would be considered similar to those disabilities you’ve listed?
I think so but I don’t know this girl well enough to take most of the great bits of advice in this thread.
I did tell them I think the whole sex thing would get in the way of the friendship despite the fact I’m not really out looking for sex.
Having female friends is fine because you can learn just as much about them from your male friends. And as far being close to them goes, so long as they don't expect you to go around running after them constantly like a dog i.e. orbiting then its cool. I met this chick in college who was pretty popular, I thought I'd try to get to know her and all but she didn't respect me as a friend the same way my childhood female friend did. At times, she constantly expected me to do things for her but never tried get back let alone communicate.
Generally I think "if you have to ask the answer is no".
Made some friends with catholic girls.
Sex is reserved for marriage, so the idea of hooking up is completely unacceptable. Leads to chill interactions and a comfy undertone of husband/wife seeking.
All are deeply principled, traditionally minded, kind, think deeply about meaningful topics and philosophy, faithful, loyal, honest.
Would recommend
Do not, get better friends, that's just keeping toxicity in your life.
It works to be friends with a couple if you like them both. It takes the potential romance out and her not being single will prevent her dumping her sob stories on you because this is her boyfriends job.
Debatable.
If you want to have women friends you are going go have to be the one putting in 90% of the effort maintining said friendship, and they will happily vanish thd moment you refuse to carry all the weight.
If you've been rejected, you don't want to be friends. You're pretending to be friends hoping she'll change her mind. That's why it sucks.
I'm 20, a college sophomore. Since middle school my friend group has been predominately female. Let me see if I can answer your question as candidly a possible.
>TL;DR
No. It's not worth it.
>Longer answer
If you're physically attracted to the girl you'll build up sexual tension and aggravation, which will increase exponentially so long as you know her. It will go from negligible at first to an almost unbearable sexual pressure. At best, this will lead you to feeling like shit when you inevitably make a move out of desperation and get shot down. At worst, this will lead to some pretty regrettable actions or words that will most likely end the relationship permanently.
If you're NOT attracted to her, [because she's ugly, or like in a lot of cases like this, because you grew up with her] you'll be more inclined to treating her "like one of the guys" which will probably do more to discomfort her than anything. You guys will probably end up disagreeing on a lot of stuff related to romance, or sexual relations with the other sex. Eventually, she'll just end up getting on your nerves, or you on hers. The only way this version of events plays out well is if she really IS "like one of the guys" i.e she's tomboy as fuck and or flat out a dyke.
Down the road, implying you or she starts seeing someone, your relationship can prove troublesome. Nothing hurts more than having a long term female friend who you considered a sister throw you away at the behest of some dudebro Chad she met at uni. Your girlfriend also is not going to like you being close with another girl, even if she doesn't think it bothers her at first.
Also, it is a statistically proven fact that *purely* platonic relationships between two straight people of the opposite sex is a fucking fantasy. People flirt. It's what they do.
Fuck them, wife them, or leave them. That's it user.
Absolutely
Not worth it at all. All they are good for is gossip and getting information.
Otherwise - good for nothing holes.
t. male friend got me a job in management
bro i have 2 female best friends and i'm pretty close to another 2 and 1) they're cool ppl 2) they give me advice for girls and well since they are girls its pretty good