How do I slow, but not fully stop, my sex drive? My boyfriend has a very slow sex drive, and can go months without it...

>I'm not willing to leave or cheat on him, and I can't masturbate. So how do I just stop wanting it?

Can't even touch YOUR OWN BODY so you're just gonna try and change yourself to accommodate him, this is how abuse starts out assuming most people wouldn't already consider this that.

Yeah I know it's hard because you love him and you lost your virginity to him (that's why I"m still a virgin, I haven't found a guy I want to hook all those feelings on quite yet) but he isn't good for you. Crying and begging you to stay when he can't even let you masturbate is absurd. Low sex drive is one thing, controlling you to this extent is another.

Tell him that he either makes an attempt to work on this issue--with doctors, therapists, whatever--or you're leaving.

If he is asexual, none of this will change
ditto

I've asked him before but he refuses. He gets all huffy and if I push it he starts a fight and that's not really something I want to put myself through.
It could be trauma, honestly. He was never raped or anything, but he did mention here and there that a past girlfriend 'held sex over him'. I'm not sure all the details as he doesn't like to talk about it, but I think she like, kind of forced him to? Probably manipulative shit like, I'll leave you if you don't have sex with me. This is the main reason why I am trying so hard to be nice about this and not push it. If he does have things mentally bothering him about this I don't want to hurt him. That being said, I know he won't go to a therapist.

It would be understandable if he didn't get pissed when you show that you have a normal human need, or state that you can leave and later cry to force you into staying when you try to. He really shouldn't have this much control over you and what you do with your own body.

honestly tell him the only way you're staying is if he gets therapy.

LITERALLY JUST SAY:

"Your ex held sex over you, you're holding sex over me. I can't even touch my own body without you finding me disgusting. You need help or I'm leaving."

I mean I guess I can kind of see where you guys are coming from but I don't think this is that serious. The problem here isn't him, it's me. I've never had a relationship before him and I guess I'm expecting too much. My sex drive is out of control and making him uncomfortable. I need to learn ways to lesson it. The problem here is me and my sex drive, not him. He doesn't have to have sex, if I said that he did that'd be kinda like rape, and that's fucked up.

Try and ignore your sex drive for a while, maybe once he's comfortable with you he'd be more willing.

That's what I've been doing, but we've been together for six months. For the first two, it was like constant sex- Up to three times a day. Then it was one, and then once a week, and now it's been nearly three months since we had sex at all. It's not only the sexual drive, I just miss being with him like that. He spends most of his time on xbox call with his friends (Which is fine with me, I play games too) but he never really spends any time with me as a boyfriend and girlfriend would. He doesn't touch me and we don't kiss- He even chooses to sleep on the couch while I'm in the bed. I often think, oh, he just doesn't love me anymore, but when I bring that up or try to leave he gets so upset, so I do believe he does love me, I just don't know why he won't show it. It's like we're just roommates in all honesty, like I'm just one of the guys.

Your boyfriend has issues, as other anons have pointed out, but if you're concerened about your sex drive, don't be. It's very typical for people, particularily girls, to have a raging sex drive after popping their cherry. It dissipates on it's own, usually over months, but potentially a year. That's just what I've gotten from talking to girls.

Offer to sleep on the couch instead and see how he reacts

I mean, my sex drive has been this way for like... Over 10 years? I do hope it passes, though. I'm 20, turning 21, if that has to do with anything. I'm three months older than him. I just feel like I'm going insane holding everything in, and when I do lose control and ask him to have sex or just try make a move on him he gets so upset. I dunno. I'm just lost.

ask if he wants you to move out, like not breaking up but living separately for awhile

ask him if there's anything he wants you to do differently. Don't even bring up sex for a month. He might only feel comfortable having sex if he doesn't feel pressured into it. It will be hard but full stop don't even bring it up anymore. No talking about sex, no anything, cold turkey.

Brought that up, but I'd have to move in with my dad as I can't afford my own place and my dad lives pretty far away. Neither of us can drive, so we'd never see each other in person again.
This might be my best bet. I mean, I've been nearly doing that. In the past three months I've only brought it up like, five or so times, but I'm thinking it may be best to just... Stop. I'm thinking I should pull back in a lot of ways- Not be cold or a bitch, but just give him his freedom and stop being clingy. I'll find my own hobbies and keep myself busy. I'm just afraid that if I stop all the attempts at affection that there will be none at all in the relationship, and then what's the point of being together? It's not like there's much in the relationship now, though...

if you pull back he may try to get closer. only one way to find out

Have you tried picking up a hobby to do together?

I see, in that case it might just be more you. Congrats on being a horndog.

That's one solution. You could also try talking to him about why he feels this way, explaining your needs to him, and then easing into having sex more frequently.

It seems like a compromise needs to be reached here. He shouldn't be forced into it, but he can't control OP if she needs a release, if he's not willing to give her sex as often as she wants.

That's what I'm hoping! I guess we'll see.
He refuses to pick up anything I mention. He's one of those people that if someone else recommends something he like, swears it off. That being said, when he gets into hobbies I try my best to get into them. Like he's really into Pokemon Go right now. But my phone won't run it and I don't have data. He just tells me to stay home when he goes out to play. I would play video games with him, but the only consoles that are mine are my gamecube and really shitty laptop that can't run games. (He has a switch and really good pc). He wanted to watch a cartoon together, so I did, but three episodes later he stopped. He then wanted to watch an anime with me, so I did, but again, like three episodes in and he doesn't want to anymore. Oh and for the switch being two player, her doesn't want to play with me because he's always on xbox call with his friends on his headset and wants to talk to them while playing games instead of me. (Btw he did have an xbox itself but it broke and we can't afford to replace it right now)

That's how I felt. I brought that exact thing up to him, but whenever I bring up compromising about anything at all, he goes, yes, lets compromise, and then continues to settling on getting everything his way. I try to explain that he never really compromises but he just doesn't get it. I've kind of came to terms with the fact that he gets whatever he wants. Like I get money from my dad as a gift, and he uses it on himself, on payday when we have a little to splurge he gets tons of new video games and I get like, a few boxes of candy, etc...

this relationship is sounding super toxic and he seems pretty selfish and cunty

I mean the money thing being said, every two weeks he makes around 600 when I make around 200. So he pays for more than half of the rent and food and such. Which makes me owe more since I can never pay evenly, so the left over money is his to spend and not mine. I've needed new underwear for months now, but I never have any extra cash. Guess it's good I can sew...

I have to agree, this relationship does sound toxic. Even if your phone didn't run Pokemon Go, you could've walked with him. It sounds like he's turning you down at every corner with weak excuses.

He doesn't want me to go because the last time we went we went with one of his friends who HATES me and the guy just kept making really mean jokes to me the whole time and I was just really upset. I know I should of just laughed it off, but I'm not great with people hating me. I told him I'll be more fun this time and not all sad but he's wary of taking me.

??? Literally why does his friend hate you

yet she keeps defending him (stock synd?)

she lost her virginity to him and when you wait until you're like 20 to do so... that means a lot

>isn't him, it's me.
If he doesn't want to have sex for months at a time it's not you, it's him, it's not normal for guys to be like that, they're usually more sexual than the girl. You can try to get help, otherwise nothing will change, it will probably get worse if you decide to stay with him since male sex drives decrease as they age.

Also, he might just be gay, and hiding it. Do you live in a conservative area? If he's gay he might be cheating, as well.

I think her boyfriend is gay, this guy might be the gay guy he's dating on the side.

Urgghhh. I'm so afraid of trying to bring up getting help, he gets so huffy about it.
As for being gay... It's a possibility. Before we met (It started out kinda long distance) he had once mentioned being bi, but now refuses ever having said it. (He says he just liked the idea of being with someone who wasn't moody and annoying like girls but he never liked men sexually). He was also, I wouldn't say a player, but... He's been with tons of girls before me. He even cheated on one girl with another girl. When I first got with him the sex was good and healthy, he never had a problem getting hard or getting off.
That being said, there was a point where he started having a pain in his balls. We went to the doctors and he got tested for all kinds of things, and they said it was nothing and it passed. But since then he had said getting off was harder for him and sex wasn't worth how sore he felt in the morning.
I tried making sex easier for him by doing more myself, but I'm not great at blow jobs (I'm really new to all this) and I'm so fucking short that when I ride him I can't pull myself up all the way fast enough and it's never enough to get him off. That makes me think it could be something medically wrong with him but he refuses to go back. The sex drive did start up again after that though and seemed quite normal again but he started anti depressants that made it die. He stopped them but since then it's been months and... Nothing.

lol your bf sounds like my ex. user, you should just leave him, he sounds manipulative. Not letting you masturbate and then crying and begging you to stay when you try to leave him. He also barely spends time with you and doesn't want you around his friends. Also you had sex a bunch when you first started dated and now you haven't had it in three months?

Honestly, it sounds like he's only staying with you because hes lonely or scared of being alone or maybe he just doesn't know what he wants. The way he acts towards you isn't normal and you shouldn't put up with it. I know you lost your virginity to him and you love him or whatever but I think you could find a much better relationship that's not with him given time.

Nnnnnghhhh. I understand where you're coming from and I know I probably sound stupid or whatever but... No. I'm not going to leave him. He actually already proposed to me earlier with a ring and everything and I am fully committed to living my entire life with him even if I have to deal with things like these. That's why I started this thread out with how to change me and not him. He's not the problem here and I'm not asking him to change. I love him for who he is. I just want to change myself to make things easier for him.

Well, I don't think you're the problem at all user and it's sad that you think you are. It might not even be his fault either, maybe its just a compatibility thing. Best of luck to you though.

I'll keep that in mind but I'll probably just keep working to fix things without leaving. Thanks for the advice everyone, I'm going to bed!

Very bad, immature advice. Basically 'muh vagina: the post'

Very mature response

Find somebody else.
Sex drive is one of the things where there's no compromise in relationships.

His sex drive is actually abnormally low for a man. Yours is a bit higher than most women but still normal.

I'd say he's the problem, especially since he forbids you from masturbating. What the fuck, seriously?

Whoa whoa whoa
Whooooa holy shiiiit.

All of this is coming together now. How can you not see this
1. He doesn't want to fuck you
2. He doesn't want you around his friends
3. He's using you for your money.

This dude is not attracted to you, he is ashamed of you and embarrassed to be seen in public with you, to the point that he will let his friends make fun of you without defending you on the rare occasion that he winds up dragging you out. He just wants you around long enough to find someone better, all while having to fuck your disgusting body as little as possible, so he can blow your paycheck on man-toys for himself in the meantime.

>I'll probably just keep working to fix things without leaving
I feel incredibly sorry for you. I really hope you wake up one day and realize what a gigantic mistake you're making staying with this asshole.

I really really really hope you're being sarcastic.

There is something very deeply wrong with you.

Get him to gym and megadose vitamin d3
Also garlic

Yes, mega dose all the fat soluble vitamins. That's an excellent plan.

While we're at it, go ahead and try petting your dog backwards. I hear that increases test, too.

>anti depressanta
Theres your culprit
make him drop them and do this

Brainlet

Ive been megadosing 20k IU for weeks, only positive effects

That actually sounds really hot holy shit

You don't have a boyfriend OP. You have a girlfriend. I guarantee you that your testosterone levels are higher than his.
Also taking a wild guess that he maybe weighs 135 lb soaking wet?

Does weight have to do with anything? You got his weight right on the dot. 6"1, though. I'm 5"1 at the exact same weight. He's not super girly, though- All his brothers are thin, too. Some issues at birth, I think.
He's off them now and mentions the gym a lot but never goes.
I have thought that many times but I also find it hard to believe. I make around 200 every two weeks on unemployment. I have offered to start a job time and time again but he refuses because he thinks that I'll cheat on him while at work. I know how it looks to you guys, but I really believe he loves me.

OP, this is it. Antidepressants KILL your sex drive. Wean him off them, get him on CBT, make sure he goes to the gym. Guarantee he'll be humping you more.

I know everyone is trying to figure out how to fix this guy's sex drive. I don't know if there's a reason to think he needs fixing. If he had a high sex drive before and lost it at some point, maybe yeah. But I'm going to consider the possibility that he honestly has a low sex drive. These people exist. And it's frustrating to them if you try to 'fix' them even though they don't feel broken.

So how to deal with a mismatch in sex drive?
Talk to him about some kind of compromise you might be able to reach. Do this in a tone that is 'hey I want to figure out a way for both of us to be happy' without sounding like you're accusing him of being the culprit. Once again, it's a MISMATCH in sex drive, not a problem strictly on his part. If he doesn't like to see you masturbate, at least you could do it in private, no? Or maybe you could arrange for some intimate time where you don't have to fuck but some amount of mutual pleasure happens.
Work with him, ask him what would be cool with him. Figure it out together.

OP, I've been lurking this thread and have so much to say to you I'll have to split it into 2 messages. Please read through this and seriously consider your situation, you're trapped in a toxic relationship existing in some kind of weird manipulated stockholm syndrome. Don't write this message off, please. It's for your own good that you get out of this relationship, even if it means moving back in with your Dad for a while so you can get your life sorted out and learn to live single life again.
Your boyfriend is a manipulative person with a child-like response to any irritant.
>He refuses to pick up anything I mention. He's one of those people that if someone else recommends something he like, swears it off.
What a manchild. He just doesn't want to spend time with you OP. He doesn't care about your interests, he only cares about his own amusement. You aren't amusing anymore, but by being a female you have enough worth to be kept around. You're like a mistreated pet. HE SEES YOU LIKE A PET.
>Oh and for the switch being two player, her doesn't want to play with me because he's always on xbox call with his friends
>he never really spends any time with me as a boyfriend and girlfriend would. He doesn't touch me and we don't kiss- He even chooses to sleep on the couch while I'm in the bed. I often think, oh, he just doesn't love me anymore
You're writing all of this out and acting like this is normal business. As if this is how relationships work? Relationships take two people working to make love work. You don't just stay together with only one person working on the relationship. This guy is not interested in you or keeping you happy, he only cares about himself.
>CONTINUED

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You've got this idea that you need to change yourself to make yourself more of the right person for him. This is NEVER healthy. Minor life changes like remembering to put down the toilet seat are one thing, but massive life changes like going from sexual relief 1-3 times a day to once every 3 months if that is a massive issue. This is not a good place to be for you.
>how to change me and not him. He's not the problem here and I'm not asking him to change.
Stop being so afraid of being single and get out of this highly toxic relationship.
>He even cheated on one girl with another girl.
Oh wow, that's a good sign.
>sex wasn't worth how sore he felt in the morning.
So your sexual enjoyment and satisfaction isn't worth it to him? Sure sounds like he loves you!
>I have offered to start a job time and time again but he refuses because he thinks that I'll cheat on him while at work.
Disgusting. He has complete control over you and he knows it. This guy is manipulating you OP. But you're just okay with it and want to "change for him". WAKE UP!
Your boyfriend is lying to you about his sexual drive, what else is he hiding from you?
>He doesn't, he just says it's always been low his whole life.
>I'm just not a sexual person
>For the first two, it was like constant sex- Up to three times a day.
Do you not see the lies here? He doesn't find you attractive or something is keeping him from the bedroom. I'd argue the prior.
OP, you know you realize this isn't a healthy relationship, please please for your sake, get out of this toxic situation!
>It's not like there's much in the relationship now, though...
>I've needed new underwear for months now, but I never have any extra cash. Guess it's good I can sew...
You're literally crying out for help and then denying yourself saying everything will be fine if you just stay with him. You're fooling yourself OP.

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>I've never had a relationship before him and I guess I'm expecting too much.
OP, you are not expecting too much, you are being taken advantage of. A healthy relationship leaves both partners feeling sexually satisfied and it leaves both partners feeling like they have someone important they can lean on. You have neither with this guy, he doesn't care about your interests or your sexual satisfaction. He literally only cares about himself and is keeping you around because being with someone is "safer" than without. This is so unhealthy OP, you've gotta get out.
I really hope you can take these words to heart. You're being manipulated and controlled in this relationship, don't let this continue. Godspeed user.

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Guess it took 3 messages to get all those words out there.

The Tl;Dr is that you've entered into a highly toxic and manipulative relationship. Do not marry this person, this is not a healthy way for you to live the rest of your life.

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>I don't know if there's a reason to think he needs fixing.
I don't know if there's a reason to think YOU need fixing.

Have you considered that maybe neither of you needs to be fixed? Maybe you're just incompatible?

THANK YOU FOR THIS REPLY. This is how I feel. I am not that much of a sex crazy thot that I need to leave him because he just doesn't want to have sex. There's a lot more behind all of this. He's had quite abusive girlfriends in the past who held sex over him, he has trust issues, and really fucking bad anxiety. If a girl had all these problems in a relationship anyone would say give her time, so he should have time too. There's a lot more behind the scenes here- And there's a lot more to each side. Yes I know I'm saying a lot of issues he has in the relationship and is causing himself, but I cause just as much, if not more, that I'm not mentioning right now. A relationship is work and I'm not just going to give up over something like this. I think I'm just going to pull back a bit- And take control on my own output in mood and stuff. I could do with stopping being so bitchy and naggy and such. I'll work on things.

I'm sorry, but I think I'm making our relationship look like something it's not. There is a lot of things I'm not mentioning here. Like when he says he doesn't want me to masturbate or get a job, he isn't saying no. He's saying it kind of bothers him, and me, taking his feelings into consideration, doesn't do it so he can feel okay about things. He has mental issues that make things hard for him like me being away from him, and I'm giving him the time he needs to overcome it. He's getting there and things are getting better. For the things like money, I give him my cheques. He offers to let me spend mine on myself but I feel as if it's my right to help him in any way I can. I allow him to spend it on what he wants- And the underwear issue is one of he just thinks my underwear are still good enough, but if I make enough of a stink about it I know he will get me what I need. I feel as if I'm making things seem like they're not and I'm sorry, but this is not an unhealthy relationship- We're working to make things better.

This.

You're wasted on him OP. Do you really want to spend the next 50+ years living this way?
Find someone that is perfect for you.

>We're working to make things better.
You mean you're working to make things better?

Whatever man, go ahead and marry him. I'll still be here to tell you I told you so when you come back in a few years complaining that all the love in your married relationship is gone but you don't want to leave cause divorce is messy.

Good luck

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>I'm sorry, but I think I'm making our relationship look like a toxic mistake. There is a lot of things I'm not mentioning here. Like when he says he doesn't want me to masturbate or get a job, he isn't saying no. He's saying that he knows that if he makes enough of a hissy fit that I won't do the things he didn't actually say no to. He has mental issues that make things hard for him like me being away from him, and the 20 years of life that he lived before our 6 month relationship were so hard that he couldn't even exist. Wait, wtf am I saying?
He's getting there and things are getting better, but we still haven't had sex in 3 months and I can't remember the last time we spent quality time together. For the things like money, I give him my cheques. He offers to let me spend mine on myself, but he knows I won't accept. He's such a clever manipulator. If I make enough of a stink about it I know he'll get me what I need, but he doesn't seem to care enough to get what I need unless I really bother him about it. I'm sorry, but I've convinced myself that this is not an unhealthy relationship- I've been working hard to live this lie and can't wait to throw away the rest of my life so I can live in the hellish, sexless bed I've made for myself

I fixed it for you OP.

Dude you're looking way too much into this. I'm not going to leave him because he has mental issues that he's working hard to get over. Yes he has things that are causing problems but so do I- There's lots I haven't mentioned here. I didn't post this to have everyone point out the reasons why we should break up. There's always more to the story and you don't know unless you're here. We're happy and things are working, there's just the issue of working out some little problems and such. Like... The honey moon phase died, and I'm having trouble dealing with that. But he doesn't want his life to revolve around his girlfriend. He is not a bad guy to have friends and want to play video games. I need to learn to be less needy and have my own things to do, which I'm doing. We don't need to spend every second attached at the hip. I'm not one of those girls who ask my boyfriend to wait on me every second of my life. I'm also not going to ask him to change for me. Before I moved in he spent his time playing games and talking to friends. He doesn't have to change that. It's not like we never talk, and we're in the same room together all day. Plus he works over nights at a low demanding job so when he's at work he calls me over the phone and we spend all night just talking, just me and him. Like I said, there's a lot here you guys don't know and it's hard for me to sum it all up. But I'm saying it now, this relationship is not abusive.

He won't let you control your own body. That's creepy as shit.

Don't let incels discourage you, they're just speaking from bitterness

But seriously bitch get the fuck off Jow Forums and talk to your lover, talk to him, for god's sake
why are you even here

>We're happy and things are working
Except for the sex-free relationship of course.
Except for the part where you said >It's not like there's much in the relationship now, though...

>I'm also not going to ask him to change for me.
That's good, but why do you have to change for him? It's one sided.

You can deceive yourself all you want, but you know that something isn't right. Maybe it isn't time for a breakup. You've obviously convinced yourself that it isn't despite all the signs you've given here. But if you can't have a simple conversation about your sexual needs without your boyfriend throwing a hissy fit about it, something is seriously fucked up. If you don't have anything to do together because the only things he wants to do is play vidya and talk to his friends when you're around, there's something wrong.

The biggest red flag besides that random drop-off in sex is easily that he won't let you get a job. That's some seriously fucked up shit that he can't trust you enough to let you go earn some fucking money instead of living like a parasite off taxpayer money and your boyfriend's goodwill.

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>I've never had a relationship before him and I guess I'm expecting too much
Nigga pls when I was in relationship with a girl I loved we had sex every fucking chance we could get. If we had a empty place for ourselves we would just get high and fuck all the time. And I believe the same is true for any healthy relationship.

That being said, weed tends to make people horny. Not saying you should smoke weed, but if you're into it you can use it.

You need to asphyxiate and OP needs to be talking to her man, not to a bunch of bitter has-beens on a fucking underwater basket weaving board

That's not the case.

True. I just need to learn how to bring the topic up in a good way. I don't want to make him feel like shit. If I make him feel like he's not manly enough because he doesn't have a big sex drive, then he's going to be hurt and that's not what I'm going after.
Sex isn't needed in a relationship. As for the second comment, I'm just getting used to the honeymoon phase dying down. People don't stay in that loveydovey feel forever.
I understand what you're getting at but I feel like this is the most fair option. I have a feeling the lack of sex has to do with mental issues or his traumatic past so it isn't right for me to try get him to forget all that just so I can get fucked. He's been quite depressed lately and has needed a bubble. I'll give it to him. As for the job, he has really bad anxiety. He doesn't not let me get a job- I've chosen to wait it out until he feels more comfortable. Plus staying home all day is nice, not gona lie. I don't really want a job and he knows that. We've already planned that I will be a stay at home wife when we have kids, but we also think the extra money would be nice right now but it's a topic we're actively discussing.
Not every guy has a huge sex drive and it doesn't mean he's broken if he doesn't. We have tons of weed but I had just gotten high for the first time and freaked the fuck out and it was this whole thing. Now he's afraid to use it around me. (It's legal here btw)
I know, and I plan to. I just want to think things over and know the best way to bring things up. I just find talking things over can help, especially when it's not just friends who only tell me what I want to hear.

You're beyond help. Have fun being in a loveless sexless relationship with a child.

Then think things over on a walk, go find a forest and take a stroll, hear the birds singing, the water running. Hear the sheer machination of nature, hear the world turning around you.
And get the fuck off Jow Forums, this is the worst place to ask about relationships

You need to sit down and talk to your man about things you are and aren't okay with. If he raises his voice, you need to make him realize that's not constructive and it's only going to destroy him, not you

Maybe people already said that in the thread, but you have two options:

>Talk to him about it and be honest about your own needs
or
>Leave him/Leave him if he refuses to talk/refuses to knowledge your needs and meet them

Incompatible sex drive is a legit reason to break up. You're not wrong, or a slut, for breakng up because of that. Actually, you're a very respectable woman for attempting to find solutions rather than cheating of him, for example. But do talk to him.Then, and only then, you decide what to do. Maybe all he needs is a clear, direct talk. Depending on the outcome, you do as the greentext says.

Don't try to tank a relationship where your sexual needs aren't met with his. It won't work, and you both will only get stress and suffering later on.

I have never met a woman with a high sex drive... Why is it seemingly impossible to find a woman that likes sex, and likes it often. I just don’t understand.

Then you haven't met a lot of women, my dude. Lots of women have high sex drive. You just have to bring them out on them.

You're definitely one of the most delusional people I've encountered in quite awhile. Your denial is nearly bullet proof.

You're in an extremely toxic, manipulative relationship but for some reason your need for validation and dysfunction is so incredibly powerful that you've somehow managed to convince yourself that you're the one who is at fault and needs to change for everything happened. You're an incredibly broken person, OP, and I hope that you eventually get the help that you need. That being said, I can't really sit here and talk to you anymore. Not only are you completely incapable of understanding reality but you obviously have such low self-esteem that you'd allow someone to manipulate and shit on you like this. You are depressing as fuck. I need to take a walk.

Sex isn't that big of a deal for me that I'd leave him over this. Idk how many times I can say that. But I did forget to mention a few little things. One, I am very prone to cold sores. I have them almost constantly. Not badly or anything, but obviously he can't kiss me/get bj's from me when I have them. And it is a little hard to get into the mood when we can't kiss. We never kiss in just little romantic ways because I always have cold sores. He has said he doesn't blame me for it as it's not my fault, but it is something we just have to work around. Second, he just got all his wisdom teeth out. My current cold sore is almost gone but he's fucking sore, and all the pills they had given him has made his stomach really upset. I'm not going to even bother to ask for anything right now, of course he doesn't feel up to it.
Dude like I said before there's so much more to this. Go ahead and leave the thread but I believe you're wrong and just don't know the whole story. Yes it's my fault for not telling the whole story, but it's hard to put everything into a post, especially when I wasn't even asking for advice on that in the first place. Urrrghhh.

Those kinds of responses are emotional abuse btw.

>Dude like I said before there's so much more to this. Go ahead and leave the thread but I believe you're wrong and just don't know the whole story
So delusional.

>. For the things like money, I give him my cheques
get out ASAP.

Pls read everything. I've said before that giving him my cheques is MY idea. I decided that for a few reasons. One, I want to make an effort to help in rent and groceries. Two, I don't have a working debit card and we live in a community where carrying cash isn't great. Also we don't really do the whole my money your money. We share and I'm 100% okay with how it works. Like I said, him having my money is 100% MY IDEA. And I'm okay with it. Oof.

>Guy yells at you
>Guy emotionally manipulates you into not masturbating
>Guy emotionally manipulates you by withholding sex and affection
>Guy gets angry every time you try to bring up your problems together

This is called a toxic, dysfunctional relationship. This is the reality. This is the definition of manipulation. There's nothing you can do or say to change reality. Nobody I know with any decent amount of self-esteem would even momentarily put up with somebody like this.

You. Are. Broken. The sooner you accept this fact the sooner you might be able to grow up and realize that this is not what relationships are supposed to be like. You are sick in the head, OP. Get some help.

There's no point in staying here and talking to us. You're in an incredible amount of denial and aren't interested in listening to accepting any amount of reality, OP. Go be with your manipulative, piece of shit boyfriend. We don't care. You deserve each other you deluded cow.

this guy just sounds like a prick. my boyfriend has a really low sex drive as well but saying "don't touch yourself either" just means he has no respect for you. if you feel like you have to change a part of your life that you dont want to change just because of a guy, it usually means the guy isn't worth it. there are other guys out there and trust me he'll get over it if you break up

op i heavily suggest taking a second look at your relationship. write down everything you think is good and everything you think is bad. ive been where you are before and it's seriously hard to actually realise what awful shit you're going through isnt actually okay. please tell everything about your relationship to either a family member, close friend or therapist. you can get out of this

Oh my god you're still here, that's the depressing thing
Stop trying to 'good' things. Just bring it the fuck up

God, stop being so indolent. Get off your ass and DO something
It's not GOING to be good, you're not GOING to like it
Stop being such a dumb fucking blonde and go talk to your boyfriend instead of these fucking bitter virgins who don't get how relationships work being that they've never been in one
If you need Jow Forums as a filter to communicate with your own fucking partner, it's boned. You're fucked. You're lacking fundamental communication skills PRE-requisite for relationships (of most any kind, honestly).

There's nothing good to come from here. What you need to do is talk with your man long and hard about what this is and how it affects your relationship.
This is from me and my seven years' experience in a relationship. Good communication is key. With him, not us.

Get the fuck outta here, don't reply to me, don't deliberate more-- get off Jow Forums and go to your man

It's not an issue of meeting lots of women... I meet hundreds a month. I just seem to pick the broken ones with depression, anxiety and little to no sex drive.

Maybe I find happy women unattractive?

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I have depression, anxiety, and a high sex drive so idk