Can anyone tell me how to look cool/grungy aesthetic/attractive without being a total thot? I often just wear baggy shirts and gym pants because I feel like if I try at all it'll look like I'm trying too hard, and trying to be something I'm not, and it'll just be cringy as fuck, but...
Most of the people I hang out with have that kind of, idgaf grungy teenager style. I just don't know how to fit in myself.
A little about me, Femanon, very short, a little chubby. Shoulder length frizzy brown hair that I'm trying to grow out. Most people call my face cute- I'm pretty average looking at best, but not ugly. Not the typical 'thic' body but it's not terrrrible. Boobs are quite big, I think my butt is pretty flat but my boyfriend says it's on the better side. That being said, I want to look cool and attractive, but not thot-y or sexy. I'm not trying to get guys to look at me, I just want to stop looking homeless. I usually wear oversized sweat pants and shirts, and sports bras so I just look like a little boy. Make up is off the table because it's fucking annoying. Any tips though? I'm planning on starting to paint my nails and carry my bag/purse thing that is more feminine, but other than that I'm a little lost.
Can anyone tell me how to look cool/grungy aesthetic/attractive without being a total thot...
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but how chubby are we talking here?
> I just look like a little boy
you should workout more, there is a high demand for tomboy gf's
>I think my butt is pretty flat
you need to do more squats
Uhhh, maybe like 30 or 20 pounds over what would be skinny for my height. Not a lot of flab, my stomach doesn't hang, but I'm not super skinny. I still can see my collar bones, and my wrists are small af
Nah I already have a bf, I'm not looking for attention like that, I just wana stop looking like an autist and fit in. My butt is fine, like I said I don't want to be more sexy, just not fucking homeless.
You'll look and feel like a tryhard until you become the aesthetic and then it's just you.
It's 2018 and fucking Kylie Jenner's dressed grunge-adjacent for the last 3 years. Just embrace the thottery already.
Idk what that means.
I don't want to be a thot I just don't want to look homeless. But I feel like I just don't have the look to pull that kind of clothes off. Like I'm fucking terrified to wear things as simple as jeans or a shirt that isn't 2xl. Not to mention accessories like sunglasses or hats, or trying to do anything with my hair. All my friends poke fun that I look homeless so I want to look better but I feel like if I dress better they'll just make fun of me because I look stupid. Guuhh
Why don't you stop trying to be something you clearly aren't? The goth girl trend is already dead and mainstream and almost always thotty. Why do you want to look like a typical slut?
Be more feminine without going for some stupid style just because its in all the rap songs right now. You're advertising yourself as thotty/damaged goods simply by following a trend. Men like feminine women without too much makeup/bedazzlement (for partners not one night stands).
And for the love of FUCK whatever you do please do NOT dye your hair black.
like what's your height and weight?
Nah I don't mean the goth thotty thing. I just mean like... Most people I hang out with wear ripped jeans, band shirts, vests with patches and pins. I'd like to simply pull of jeans and a tshirt, maybe sunglasses, hair in some kind of style, but I feel like a fucking loser when I try. The whole girly thing isn't for me- I'm not very feminine. I'd kill myself before I wore a dress, make up is uncomfortable as fuck, and I feel gross if I wear push up bras or shirts that show my top off at all. I honestly just want to have the confidence to wear jeans and accessories a little, but I feel cringy af. Also maybe I'm too fat for jeans?
Also I already have a bf and though he doesn't care how I decide to look he says he prefers my hair to keep growing out, and no slutty shit. Which I agree with both so.
5"1 and 130, I think? I haven't weighed myself in a bit but it's around there. I'm 21, btw. I recently lost a lot of weight but I still don't feel like I'm thin enough to not hide my body. Doesn't help that I'm the fattest out of our whole friend group.
You should collect clothing until you have enough to have coordinated outfits for a week, then you can start wearing them and buying more stuff. You don't need to dress "girly" to be goth, there are plenty of things to wear that cover plenty
You are big, you should probably weigh yourself, I bet you weigh way more than you think you do and are avoiding the scale because of it
I'm banned from the scale for a while because I was starving myself. That being said it's only a few months since I weighed myself and everything fits the same and I look the same. I probably gained around 5 or 10, so 135 140? I don't think that's overly fat, but maybe I'm wrong.
Also I don't really have the money to buy new clothes. I'd just like to be confident enough to wear the jeans and such I have now.
I just meant you gotta push through the awkward phases until shit is naturally integrated into your life. Like if you get a highly visible tattoo at first you're like shit everyone's looking at me and then six months later you barely even think about it unless someone brings it up.
Stop worrying about arbitrary labels. If you want to dress better then look for templates you like and start experimenting. The point is every style imaginable has insta-whores thotting it up, so people might talk shit but it really doesn't matter.
Goth doesn't necessarily mean revealing. That's mainstream emo-core shit
Goth also isn't a trend, it's prevelance goes up and down but it's been a subculture for decades
you're not overweight you're fine.
Also you don't have to wear something revealing to be attractive. A nice knee-length dress with heels is sexy without being "thotty"
Here's an example of my style? you might like a longer dress because I'm pretty lanky and I like showing my legs.
A good rule of thumb is if you're showing tits you shouldn't show leg, and vice versa, bc otherwise it looks thotty
Black tights can help if you're self conscious about showing any leg
Oh I just saw this one
We're exact opposites I HATE JEANS
Have you considered a nice tapered waist high black dress pant paired with a button up and leather jacket?
>I'd just like to be confident enough to wear the jeans and such I have now.
That's not really something a stranger will be able to help you out with, that's pretty personal, confidence
>135 140? I don't think that's overly fat, but maybe I'm wrong.
Well since you are 5'1 it's pushing it. I have a sibling that's 8 inches taller than you and the same weight (135). I would try to eat HEALTHY instead of starving yourself, since starving yourself is not fun, food is good.
Oh man I could never wear a dress or ANYTHING like that. That's just too out there. I'm just trying to work up the courage to wear jeans or do something with my hair... I refuse to show any leg or wear any shirt other than a tshirt, I also hate dresses even with stockings or whatever. I just want to change very little things very slowly so no one really notices- I hate getting attention. Like... Just wearing jeans out sometime. But that seems scary as fuck to me.
No dress no dress sorry guhh
Yeah I guess. I'm not allowed to work towards losing weight right now as I'm getting over some mental issues/eating disorder stuff. Which I think is stupid as fuck because I know I'm pushing it but whatevvverrrr.
honestly you're at the higher end of a healthy bmi, if not overweight, and eating 1200 calories a day would be beneficial for your health as long as you stop once you're at a healthier weight.
Not trying to be a bitch, but if you don't feel confident in anything you wear because of your body, losing ten-fifteen pounds is a lot easier than most people think. Source: I lost 35 pounds without too much trouble, and I've kept the weight off for over a year
You can diet without developing an eating disorder
no dress pants? I meant to include this pic
This would also work with black jeans
If you have nice tits you could wear a V-neck to show some cleave. Your legs will be covered so it won't be too thot and if you feel like you have bad points it's best to highlight the good
Yeah I know but losing weight is off the table right now so.
Oh man no I tried these before and I looked like shit, boxy as fuck and super gross. Leggings are too reveling too btw.
here's a pic of a chubbier girl in a similarly themed outfit
No no I don't want to show any sexy. For me, my body is for my boyfriend and only him. I'm not trying to look more sexy, just not homeless. I'm not religious, I just hate showing off my body. I used to wear skirts and show off cleavage and I got a looooooot of attention, and I hate attention.
This actually gives me a bit of inspo/confidence. My body is a lot like hers and this is a covered enough outfit that I would wear it, if I had the confidence. My hair is also a lot like hers, too... Thanks!
>there is a high demand for tomboy gf's
Lol no. Maybe for hot girls who are tomboys but there's a high demand for hot girls period.
Well a leather jacket that's cut at the waist is actually slimming because it adds an illusion of a smaller waist
Same goes for any jacket
You can also get a softer leather jacket that seems more tailored than boxy if that's a problem
I think a leather jacket is kind of out of my comfort zone for now but... I'm going out with some friends tomorrow and I'm going to start with trying to wear some jeans. Maybe pin my bangs back, and wear my backpack. I kind of wanted to add a plaid button up around my waist to put on later if it got a little chilly but I'm afraid that touch is too much. My goal here is to blend in- Not stand out because I look 'amazing' or 'hot' (As if that was possible) but also not stand out because I look like a total homeless slob (Me in my 6 foot tall boyfriends gym pants and a hoodie...) I just wana look normal...
The only comments I ever get about my looks are, 1. I look homeless, 2. I look like a 10 year old boy, and 3. That I'm adorable. I also get called the mom friend a lot, so that's my personality. So grunge/goth might be out of my league, but... Guh.
Ehh dont know much about girl fashion but maybe jeans with a normal tshirt and vans. Seems pretty casual an non homeless.
Honestly I have a pretty out-there style for someone with very little confidence, and honestly just jumping head first into clothes you may not be comfortable with does wonders. Even if you don't feel confident, you'll feel good. It's nice wearing something you like.
I mean, I started wearing stuff like this when my self-confidence was still in the gutter and I've never regretted it
You just have to do it lol
That's what I was going for in all reality. Can't afford vans right now, but... I have lots of jeans and band t-shirts. I also have a little backpack that has tons of cool patches and pins on it- Futurama, Ghost busters, n stuff. Which I think is something I want to wear often. I'm chill with being noticed because of something like my cool pin or awesome Gengar tshirt, just not because I look fucking gross or hot in any way. I think it's just going to be a wip to grow the confidence- Or fake it till I make it.
I feel like things like this would get the wrong attention, plus I don't really have the money to buy tons of new things. It's more working what I have that I'm just too afraid to wear. Plus I guess I just morally hate showing my skin. My boyfriend begs me to wear shorts when it's hot so I don't die but I am terrified, even if they're mens shorts. Or going swimming with a tshirt and mens trunks is scary as fuck too. Tbh this is probably because of something that happened to me a few years ago but lets not get into it. Just. No dresses no shorts no boobs. Sorry to blow off your attempts at helping!!
If you're looking for a pretty normal modest top for summer-time this is cool but doesn't show bobs
okay, ditch the sports bras adapt real bras, dress in clothing that actually fits or is a little tight and for the love of all things holy ditch the fucking sweatpants.
If you still want comfy pants wear leggings, your boyfriend will thank you and you won't look like garbage.
No I'm not saying you should wear stuff like that, I'm saying you should jump into wearing what you want to wear. If I can start wearing miniskirts, you can start wearing jeans
I also don't get much attention like that because I'm intimidating. I'm a talk, ghost white, skinny girl with a resting bitch face so like, people don't bother me much. But I get where you're coming from, definitely.
Also bag purse thing is pretty thotty imo. And vans are 40-60 dollars negro.
Oh no way my upper arms are way too fat lmao I'd die in this.
My boyfriend actually prefers me to wear sports bras. The real bras I have are for him only- If I wear them and I still wear just a tshirt, my boobs are massive and get a lot of attention. I have leggings but again he doesn't want me to wear them around anyone else- Leggings are pretty much like spray paint. They show everything...
Before anyone says he shouldn't tell me what to wear these are things we spoke about and agreed with together blah blah please don't do that whole song and dance lmao
Unironically seek mental help. You got some issues girl, and this board ain't going to do you any favors.
then wearing a sheer blouse over a modest tanktop could keep you cool while covering your arms
I'm just terrified people will see me in jeans and go 'Oh man she's too fat for jeans.' I don't wear them super tight or anything but I guess it's an anxiety.
Huff. I really like it. I've worked hard on it and everything on it is actually shit I'm a fan of. So I'm probably still gona wear it. I don't think anyone is going to think I'm a thot just because I have a bag- I cover up everything, so. Plus I don't have a sexy 'air' in the first place. I've been told I'm 'cute'. I'm 21 but I look very young, so. As for the vans, dude, I'm poor as shit right now. Maybe in the future but no time soon. I have converse but they're falling to pieces...
Whew he sounds hella controlling, good luck not looking homeless girl.
Not OP, but if she wants to dress modestly she can dress modestly. tons of people do it
/fa/ always has a modest female fashion thread going
Lmao true. I think I'm just going to wear jeans tomorrow and pray no one screams at me and calls me fat or gross, lmao.
Again thanks for the help but oh man, I'd never wear something like this. It's just too... Idk. Extra.
>intimidating
Nah, probably just fugly
Literally 500 pound people wear jeans. Everyone wears jeans. Babies wear jeans. Grandmas wear jeans. No one thinks "oh, jeans aren't right for her" because everyone wears jeans
If they make jeans in your size, you're not too fat for jeans
This is partially why I hate jeans, I think they're overrated and not cute or comfortable but to each their own
>My boyfriend actually prefers me to wear sports bras. The real bras I have are for him only
>I have leggings but again he doesn't want me to wear them around anyone else
You've talked about your bf a lot in this thread, and I've ignored it all, but in this comment it's pretty apparent something is wrong.
>Before anyone says he shouldn't tell me what to wear these are things we spoke about and agreed with together blah blah please don't do that whole song and dance lmao
So have you made any specifications on what he wears or is it a one sided thing? He's also controlling your eating habits, is this right?
Fair But I've been told I'm intimidating by a lot of different people so like who knos
It can be a plainer sheer blouse
I'm sorry that you're blind, but this thread has more red flags than a Chinese communist rally.
Ughhhhh not doing this. We both have the mindset that a girl should only show herself to the ones she's with. Other people can do whatever they want but we think this works for us. It's not only him, it's me too.
He only gets me to eat because if he didn't I'd starve myself and probably die... If you call that controlling, then, k.
Literally everybody's life has a shit ton of red flags. People just deal with the red flags. Sometimes you have to exist with trauma and a controlling but otherwise nice boyfriend. She'd dress modestly without him so I don't see the deal there specifically
He's not controlling. I chose to not dress reveling because I was raped in the past and he gets me to eat because if I didn't I'd starve myself.
Yeah I didn't really mean it in a bad way. You can be controlling without it being toxic if the person is fine with being controlled/would do those things of their own accord. From other people's pov it will look like he's controlling, but to you he's just protective, which is fine
Thank you. I worded it first off as he didn't like it because I didn't feel like it was needed for me to go OH BTW I WAS RAPED but it was kind of forced out of me. So. :/
>We both have the mindset that a girl should only show herself to the ones she's with
If you didn't have that mindset before you met him it's not your mindset. You talk about getting a lot of attention before because of your breasts.
>He only gets me to eat because if he didn't I'd starve myself and probably die
You would probably lose weigh, if you were drinking water you wouldn't die for a long time, definitely over a month, though I doubt you could starve yourself that long. Is he overfeeding you, he might be a feeder.
Yes, and then I was raped, so I stopped dressing that way long before I met my current bf.
He's not overfeeding me, but he figures it's better to gain 5 or so pounds in a year that developing a serious eating disorder. And yeah, I could go pretty long without eating, but in 6 months, or a year, when I get skinny by starving myself and fully develop anorexia, am I really going to stop? Fuck off. My weight is an issue, yeah, and I'd like to be thinner, but I'm also getting over an eating disorder. I don't need to lose weight RIGHT NOW. I'm not sickly obese. I'm not going to die in my fat. Let me live...
I know I've mentioned my weight here a few times but this is not a thread on me needing to lose weight. It's on me trying to get the confidence to dress in something different than baggy as fuck clothing. I'm not trying to lose weight I'm not planning to lose weight and I'm not going to lose weight, if you think I'm fat then fine, but dude, there's a lot of girls bigger than me and they look/are doing just fine, so...
you're poor, what's the point?
>Yes, and then I was raped, so I stopped dressing that way long before I met my current bf
>victim blaming yourself
They would have raped you no matter what you were wearing, fucking retarded to blame your clothing, a rapist is a rapist
Ok. But it's my right to dress the way I wana dress, and if that happening to me made me decide to dress this way then... I'm not hurting anyone just because I don't want to be a slut/show skin... Jesus...
You should lose the extra weight, your tummy should be flat and tight. I dress cute and conservative but if you're in really good shape you can wear anything and look good. Google image search for outfits until you find something you like.
I'm getting cancer from these replies holy shit... I know I'm not a super model and I'll never be as hot as one so if I have a bit of a stomach and curves who the fuck cares? I'm so fucking done of these ideals of trying to be perfect, 90 pounds, no scares, perfect skin... There are hot people in the world, yes, but most of us are just average, and I'm totally okay with being average. I'd just like to get a little confidence without having to change my total self. Maybe being skinny or ideally pretty is important to you, but it's not to me. I know the reality that people get old and get wrinkly, get scars from pregnancy and get fat... And it's okay. Like I said, I'm not trying to be a model or what the world thinks as 'pretty' or 'hot'. I just want a little confidence and to look average. Jesus.
but you aren't choosing anything, rather being given the illusion of a choice as you are forced to gain weight by your insecure bf.
I never said you were hurting anyone, you're just being defensive and making stuff up. You're dressing up like a hobo, and every time someone in this thread tries to suggest otherwise you say you don't want to. Why are you pretending you want to do something you don't actually want to do? Go ahead and keep dressing up like a homeless person
Dude what the fuck. Are you listening? I chose to dress this way before I met him. He doesn't force me to gain weight, he makes sure I eat healthy and can enjoy my life without stressing about every single calorie. We've been doing this for a long time now, and I've gained like, what? 5 or 10 pounds? Which is probably not because of how I'm eating, but because before that I was starving myself and you tend to gain a little after that. I'm not going to starve myself to be perfect looking for anyone else. I don't fucking care what anyone else thinks. My boyfriend and my friends love me so whatever.
Woah. I think I just got the confidence I need. Thanks!
I've said time and time again that I want to wear jeans, learn to accessorize, and do my hair. I've been recommended dresses and the such which is great, but not what I was looking for. This whole thing was fucking stupid lmao
Why are you still here if you think it's stupid? You're allowed to leave
¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯
>lose weight
>stop dressing like a hobo
>break up with abusive bf
Got it op, good. It's nice we have the same opinions
Ya'll got some fucked up morals.
>Don't gota be skinny to fucking live
>Don't gota be a slut to not dress like a homo
>Just because me and my bf have different morals than you don't mean he's abusive...
Literally I'm just. Dude. I don't understand why you guys think he's abusive. I dress conservatively because I WANT TO and I have long before I met current bf. He gets me to eat because I was starving myself and losing like 30 lbs a month from an eating disorder. If you think that's abusive then dude I'm fine with it because I know he just cares about for me and my health. He'll love me if I gain a little weight because looks aren't everything and I'm healthy so who gives a fuck about being a model. Not everyone has the goals to look like the people on tv. I look pretty average and I'm okay with that. So chill...
>love
yea I tend to love my objects to, especially when they work exactly as I designed them to.
Dude you're really fucked up somewhere in your mind. I'm not even gona continue fighting this. It's a lost cause... Good luck on your sad life, where all women have to be thots to be free, and starving yourself is better than being 30 or so pounds overweight...
wait 30 or so pounds, now hold on a sec, how much is he feeding you extra lol, what's the exact number
I was somewhere around 200 before I met him. I starved myself and got down to 120. He got me to start eating again and I'm 130 or so now. For being 5"1, and going by bmi standards, 130 is still too big but I don't really care. I'm not so fat I'm dying or anything so whatever. I'm also not actively gaining.
This thread wasn't even supposed to be about weight. I posted my weight in the first place to help get an idea what would look good on me. Ya'll are acting like I'm a huge disgusting whale but 10 to 1 the most of you all even fatter NEETS so yknow
LOOSE WAIT
STOP EATING BREAD
GET FIT AND AUTO GET FA
Sorry I'm to tired to read all this stuff above. But maybe try some high wasted jeans, vans and maybe some band shirt of a darker color in one size bigger then nessecary
>I'm getting cancer from these replies holy shit...
cancer.gov
>I know I'm not a super model
Me neither, I'm too short, just retail and art but not "art". Hi, guys!
>and I'll never be as hot as one so if I have a bit of a stomach and curves who the fuck cares?
Doctors because its a massive health issue. Your friends and family because they want you to be healthy and alive. Everyone else in how they treat you. How little you care about yourself says alot.
>I'd just like to get a little confidence without having to change my total self.
You wouldn't be changing yourself by becoming fit, you would be becoming yourself. Since you want to remain fat search for pictures of outfits that other pudgy girls wear until you find something you like and copy those looks. Frankly it sounds like you're looking for a magical way to dress that will make you look good. I think spanks/shapewear is what is used and blocking.
Actual "ugly" femanon here. STOP WEARING GYM PANTS god damn it. You said it yourself, you're short and a little chubby, but regardless, under NO circumstances should you wear gym pants. Ever, except in an actual gym. I can 100% tell you that a skirt makes ANY girl look way better.
What's wrong with dresses and skirts? Loose silken pants? Fuck man, this makes me angry.
>I'm totally okay with being average
first mistake OP
Literally just wear more modest clothing