I don't know if anybody can help me here, but maybe I can get some advice from women (and men). I'm a male in my mid 20's and have a very very rare condition (not well studied yet - no cure) where I get extremely ill for about a week after an orgasm. Some day it will last 5 days and some days 10 days, but on average about a week of heavy flue like symptoms + tiredness + depression. For this reason I rarely have sex, and I just about never masterbate as it ruins my whole week of school, work, and socializing. I've noticed i've been self sabotaging myself in terms of finding relationships with women. Kinda stupid but I feel like less of a man and that I wouldn't be able to "pleasure" a girlfriend/wife often so I just avoid even attempting to look for someone or cut it off after only a couple dates. Do women need sex constantly? I can honestly only probably provide it once a month due to my symptoms immediately following an orgasm. I just feel like its such a big deal breaker and i've never told anyone about it because... embarrassing and emasculating.
I don't know if anybody can help me here, but maybe I can get some advice from women (and men)...
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>I get extremely ill for about a week after an orgasm
Please accept my deepest condolences.
Do you have a desire to orgasm more often than once a month? Because if you don't you can easily find a women who would be ok with everything up to you having an orgasm. Think every sexual act you can do to her that doesn't involve your dick. Think toys. Now If you are ok with doing all of that and not having an orgasm then I don't think you have a big problem. However if you have to avoid sexual acts all together because of frustration it would cause, then that's different. You would need a lower libido partner. But in that case, finding a partner with a similar libido is a struggle for everyone. Just my 2 cents.
Well, I think your best bet is to be upfront about your condition right from the beginning.
Some women are more interested in sex than others. Some women aren't interested in sex at all.
It's not hopeless for you, op.
It's just going to be more effort to find the right girl.
While a lot of women don't necessarily want sex very frequently, they will feel rejected and unattractive if you don't actively want to have sex with them.
I'd definitely say be upfront about it, and find other ways to make them feel wanted.
In such a sex-focused society, it's really rough emotionally to have a partner unwilling to have sex/orgasm with you, even if there is a 100% valid explanation behind it.
Thanks, much appreciated.
In a perfect scenario of me being healthy like pretty much everyone else I would love to have sex at least once a week but that’s not in anyways possible for me. But at the same time I’ve become accustomed to my situation and am ok with having sex monthly.
It’s hard tho, how do I even bring it up after several dates? I feel like it’s a brick wall and will end the relationship. On the same token I suppose love is about being vulnerable and sometimes there will be rejection and pain. Making a woman feel wanted is huge and I think I would be and am pretty good at that in other ways besides sex because I have to be out of necessity. Little daily things pop into my head like buying flowers, an extra long hug, going on dates even after you become boyfriend/girlfriend.
Very sorry to hear that, hopefully they'll find a cure at some point.
Personally I wouldn't be able to be in a sexless relationship since my libido is pretty high, but it's not impossible to find a girl with a low sex drive. You just need to be willing to pleasure her in other ways from time to time (oral, fingering, toys) and make her feel wanted/beautiful. Sex is not the only way you can show that. Give her compliments every day, be affectionate, get her flowers sometimes etc. Good luck user, I'm sure you'll find the right person eventually.
Most women don’t even like sex, you’ll be fine.
Are you sure you're not imagining things? Is this an actual, well documented medical condition?
This is not true. Most women actually like sex. And if they go without it for a while they get horny and want to go out and get some d.
It is, it's called Postorgasmic illness syndrome (POIS). Look it up if you want to know more.
OP I would suggest to keep searching for your possible cause of this happening. Because if it's your auto-immune system or allergic reaction to some substance it can be actually treated.
Finding a girl while having this if going to be harder than the average guy but don't feel like you're less. You just gotta keep your head up and be upfront with the girls you are interested in. Yes, it will be a bit awkward for a few minutes but if they are not absolute dumb thots they will understand where you are coming from and appreciate you bringing it up (and not wait until you are both naked and done.)
Stay confident in yourself, you just need to find a girl that suits you as anyone in life. Good luck OP.
This gets my Seal of Upheaval (blecch) as the silliest fiction of the week
Medfag here and I literally have never heard of anything like this. OP is larping
sry OP I looked it up right now and really feel bad about what you're going through
Women not liking sex is a meme. A lot of them are shy at first, but once they get a taste of the dick they will crave it for the rest of their life.
She WILL go looking for Chad dickings if you can't satisfy her sexually.
I am asexual and would prefer to date someone like you
>POIS symptoms, which are called a "POIS attack", can include some combination of the following: cognitive dysfunction, aphasia, severe muscle pain throughout the body, severe fatigue, weakness, and flu-like or allergy-like symptoms, such as sneezing, itchy eyes, and nasal irritation. Additional symptoms include headache, dizziness, lightheadedness, sensory and motor problems, intense discomfort, irritability, anxiety, gastrointestinal disturbances, craving for relief, susceptibility to nervous system stresses (e.g. common cold), depressed mood, and difficulty communicating, remembering words, reading and retaining information, concentrating, and socializing. Affected individuals may also experience intense warmth or cold.
I am so sorry my dude
Just work on those tongue muscles.
Nah, but seriously, I don't think it's necessarily a deal breaker. Well, for some people, it might be. It might be more difficult for you to find a partner, but not impossible. It is definitely something to bring up before your any of your future relationships get really serious.
There's more to sex than just penetration.
How often do you feel like having sex? Honestly I think the right person would understand. Not every woman enjoys or finds a lot of pleasure from sex anyway. And if it's any consolation I'm a woman with a strong sex drive but if my boyfriend had that issue I'd deal with it and get a nice dildo or something
Yeah same.
Also you guys feel emasculated by just about anything, but we don't really care much. I feel sorry for you, but it's a medical condition, doesn't mean shit about your manliness or whatever