My mother basically told me I was worthless. Wat do? I'll explain next post

My mother basically told me I was worthless. Wat do? I'll explain next post.

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So first example, I had to take part in some bullshit online course in order to work as an entertainer. I've done almost everything excluding three things(The first two included dancing and fitness, I have problems with my tendons, I explained the situation). The third was a promo video of myself, I though it was optional so I didn't do it. That's it. 4 days ago I'd gotten a message that I failed. That means I won't work as an entertainer. I started to ask what the fuck is going on when I had more points that neccessary to pass. No replies. So I told my mother, we called the company(the one handling the entertainment jobs ) to give us back money for translating documents(a rather large amount of money). Now she spoke with the boss of that company and he claims that I was saying to his workers that I can box and I can beat up the clients if they make me mad(I didn't say that, I joked about it and they laughed as well, although my words weren't as vulgar as the one the boss claims I used)

Mummy changed sides and calls me a piece of shit and that I'm a cunt and that I'm trying to be a smart ass and a bullshitter for changing things around and making a victim out of myself.

That was 20 minutes ago. Next problem coming up.

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The next thing is about a phone. I bought a phone with my own money for the first time(I'm 19, I didn't work before) and two days after that I put it on the table and it kind of weirdly fell. Cracked screen and all that shit. So, my father came up with the idea to send it back and claim that it arrived broken, I agreed and we call up the shop explaining the situation. When my dear mummy heard it she was livid, calling me(again) a bullshitter, a moron and that I can't take responsibility for my actions. She says I'm gonna blame the post man for this shit(I wasn't planning to) instead of owning up and now told me to call the shop and tell them we were lying, I told her I won't do it.

So she says in general that I'm worthless, trash, that I can't take responsibility for myself, that it's everyone's fault but my own, etc etc. She also talked about uni, saying there's no fault since I'm a moron and I won't pass them and there's no point in it all and she said that she should have strangled me as a kid(that's a popular joke-ish saying here but it kind of hurt)

What do?

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Talk to her and tell her that she's being a cunt

I mean, it got me thinking and she's right.
I may be all those things, but what bad is it to lie about a broken phone? Or joking about hitting people? It's normal stuff. She accused me of slacking off at that course(I tried my best, up towards the end I started to slowly get pissed off though)

She started lashing out at my father(crazy fucker as well, I'm debating cutting all ties with my family) for making me like this.

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she's definitely overreacting about the phone. When it comes to getting a job, i cqn sort of see where she is coming from. Was there a lot of yelling in these events? Were you once very close with your mom? If the answers to both thise questions are "no" I don't see why this is bugging you so much. Family can be aggressive and you're at the age where most people move out. If your mom decides to act up more the next time something happens, you might want to consider moving out politely. If it doesn't get worse than what you first posted, you have to just deal with it for now. Moving out usually happens after extreme fights or tensions in families. You won't have much financial help either if you move out (bills, food etc.). Just get your feelings out on something else for now if fights aren't unbearable.

Yeah, it's normal stuff but before trying to do that, for real now, have to tried to tell them how you feel about that?

Become a comedian. Your life will never stop providing you with material. Get rich, don't share any with mom.

What do you mean by entertainer? Like a gigolo or some shit?

Always makes me laugh when parents complain that their children don't take responsibility. A parents main goal is to teach their children how to be responsible for themselves.

Maybe that's why they get so aggressive, they know how much they failed.

I have a job right now. I thought that since it will take a while to actually fucking start working as an entertainer, I figured I'll work at a nearby job here.

I don't remember ever being close with my parents, maybe when I was 7-10?

I am going to deal with it. I am off to uni to england soon, I guess I'll get a life loan as well as a school tuition loan and remove these twats from my life. Moving out is impossible now, I'm in Poland and living by yourself without a stable job can be tough.
How I feel about feeling like all these things she said I was? Nope, fuck her, I don't have anyone but you guys on Jow Forums and some weird girlfriend who I've only seen twice in my life(we usually chat). I once said I might have depression or some other problems with my mental health, they laughed in my face(although from what I gather that's common in slav households), only to start talking about how I need to go to a shrink because there's something wrong with me after some girl troubles. I told her to get lost.

My life isn't hilarious but fucking sad.

I would entertain hotel guests in Spain. Guess I won't.

I just want to cut them out of my life. Hopefully they'll raise my brother the way they want, but they're two hypocrite morons who've decided to breed and raise even more fucking cunts.

Christ alive I want to get out of here and never speak to them again

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You said it, Fuck her.

Do everything you can to be an entertainer and move out asap

I don't want to be an entertainer, though. Fuck that. I'll earn enough to fly to England and I'm cutting contact.

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Literally a minute ago, she started talking about that bullshit course, literally yelling at me and telling me what I'm going to do tomorrow about uni and shit. I yelled so hard that my throat now hurts and she told me to fuck off. So I did.

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In that case, good luck user


btw I'm dealing with the same shit rn and I'll finish my studies find a job and move on

Good luck mate, love you all. You all helped me when no one else would

>entertainer
stopped reading right there. shes right. you produce nothing fag. thats not an honest profession

Best thing is she convinced me to work as one. I still didn't, and I won't. I'll pay the money back for the fucking translating and she can blow me.

You aint worthless.

God damn fucking stupid thats what you are.

Care to explain why?

Applying without following demanded procedure. Too poor motor skills to keep phone save. Didnt read the rest. Oh also walls of text instead of being concise.

Applying to what? Uni? I followed everything, getting my final exams results tomorrow and off to send them to the school.

I guess you're right with the phone.
Such shit can't be written in a small amount of words. I had to explain my situation clearly and in detail

Damn op,your mom sounds like an overly possessive twat.
I bet your dad doesn't keep her in line?
If I were you,I would leave.
And never come back,won't open their phones,change my phone number.
If they want to search for me,so be it.
But I wouldn't search for them.
Leave them a note tho.
And don't say that you hate them.
Just tell em,that you are leaving,and don't want them to bother you.

My father works as a truck driver, he's away from home 5 days a week, only satying on weekends.

I thought about that, we'll see what I'll do.

Anyway, I've had another argument, more of my flaws and how I'm the same as my father.

Basically she started straight out crying and telling me how bad, hypocritical I am, how much I look down on people(Kinda true, I don't want to be bothered since people have only given me problems and now I feel weird when I get too comfortable around them), how I'm the same as my father etc.

Then she told me that "since she's shitted me out" she deserves respect. So I asked her if she has respect for her abusive father(more tears incoming) and telling me how I'm horrible.

Last thing she said(a true thing I guess) is that I'll never be happy. Just like my father. That I'm so bad that I'll never be happy. That I'm too restitutionary and that I demand everything from everyone. I guess she was right about that.

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user i get it now.
She sees your dad in you.
She is lonely,and has no man.
However you remind her of her husband,your dad.
And since he is away,he makes her feel lonely.
Everything about her screaming like a Harpie,is because she isn't put straight by your dad,and fucked hard enough.
>inb4
t. Internet psychologist

I guess that's true. What can I do?

Well I see it as a two way street.
You can tell her,what I just said,and be supportive of her,and nice.
Or you can be mean to her.
Both will have different outcome.
Beware that she will try to cope,and deny anything as hard as she can,to defend herself from the truth.
I say be supportive,as a start.
Let her blabber whats off her chest.
If not let her wallow in her own pity.

Right, thanks very much.

No problem pal.

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So here's my advice and the sooner you take it the better. Your mom probably isn't going to change and she's going to project her inability to change onto whatever label she arrives at for you. It's a label she probably arrived at years ago when you were literally a child and she's too dumb to realize people can and do change if they want to, but especially little kids as they grow up. I know this from experience. The bad news is that being born into a family with a parent like this is a "hard mode" of sorts, though you're blessed that you only got one. If your mother was more overtly of a piece of shit/abusive it'd be a lot easier on you when you inevitably have to reduce your exposure to her assuming you "make it." You'd also pick up on it a lot more and wouldn't feel so trapped in your head that you need to come to a group of anonymous people to truly figure out if you're worthless. You're not. You're a 19 year old kid and your mom is a legitimate piece of fucking garbage for trying to convince you that you're anything more than a work in progress, like we all are. A good life is a series of fucks up and learning from those fuck ups. A parent's role in that should be to constructively guide you through the fuck ups and spare you as much of the learning curve as they can. Your mom, like most people similar to her, doesn't want to do any work besides the bare minimum. She wants to put it on you, then kick, scream, and call names when you don't produce the results to validate her.

So here's the advice: your future is going to probably be one where your mother isn't really a big part of your life and you need to get past this. You also probably have some damage in your head that you aren't even aware of because of your exposure to someone like this. You need to start constructively thinking about developing skills to develop an income to begin the distancing process. Don't fall into the neet trap where you have one or both parents berating you and treating you like shit all your life, then standing mouth agape that you haven't made anything of yourself because you had the audacity to trust their evaluation of you. The key in all of this is that you're only worthless if you allow yourself to be. Your mother is one of many people in your life, especially professionally, who will try to sabotage the ever-living shit out of you if you let them. You need to start developing an internal validation mechanism and unfortunately you need to be your own mentor until you find someone better, because your mother sounds toxic. That means you're going to be the one that needs to start calling these people back for feedback, not your mom. There's not much you can do other than look at the rest of the life that is in front of you, recognize that you need to build skills that can build an income, and just work on playing the game. You're going to run into a lot of pieces of shit like your mom, learn to take what you can from them (if anything) and wall them off after.

I'm not reading all that shit. Part of growing up is not getting triggered when someone calls you stupid or worthless, especially when its family. As long as you depend on them, keep your mouth shut and ignore it. It just doesn't matter.

And your mom just doesn't want you to be a fucking failure, seems like.

Thanks very much mate. I'm guessing I'll just minimize contact for now, and see how it goes.

Thanks

If you won't read it then fuck off. Not like you've got some better things to do, you're wasting time on a somalian basket-weaving forum like the rest of us.

Sure thing. Just keep in mind that you need to build skills and build an income to escape that environment and you're going to probably need to be your own coach for a while. When you fall, no one is picking you up, dusting you off, and giving you some wise and inspirational insight at this point in the game. In the end, you'll be a tougher son of a bitch for it. In the mean time, think of people like your mom as hecklers in the stands. If they can't offer you level-headed constructive criticism, their opinions aren't really going to help you get better at anything. I've never met someone that I could just scream at and call names who would learn more effectively than laying out strategies and actually discussing with them where their mind is at. These are employees and coworkers too, let alone my own child where I would like to think I'd allocate more time than I would for people that are functionally strangers.

Clean up your act and be a man. You know she's right.

Thanks

Nah, not really.

>claim boss is conspiring against you and call up your mommy to deal with him
>turns out you did say that stupid shit and he had every right to fail you
>try to cheat a company because you broke your phone
Your mom is right. You can't take responsibility for your actions. No wonder she's distraught.

Yeah, fuck off.

Jow Forums isn't here to make you feel good about being a piece of shit. You explained the situation and you are clearly in the wrong. Since we've only heard your side of the story, you're probably even guiltier than we can glean from your post. It's far more likely that your mom, the adult, is right and you, the 19 year old manchild, is wrong.

That's what dad usually tells me whenever I see him. Always hurts.

Fuck off.

I used to get that from him all the time as well. Usually mummy defends me because he's oh so bad. But then mummy says the same shit so he defends me because she's oh so bad. I don't get them

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