>been going out with gf for around 3 months, first ever girlfriend >things have been great, people like us together, say we're adorable. >have amazing sex life and hang out all the time >nothing I'm aware of would jeopardize this
suddenly
>she goes out for drinks with female coworker on sunday night. texts asking if she can sleep here once she's done. >cancels this, says she'll come over the next day >does the same that night
>finally comes over last night >seems super distant, says she's "in a weird mood" >seems to recoil at even light touches(handholding, side hug on couch etc) >stays over but basically goes straight to sleep facing away from me >says it's "too warm to cuddle" >admits something is bothering her but won't tell me what.
Am I insane for jumping to the worst conclusions here? How should I proceed with this Jow Forums because I'm really fucking worried?
>posting this on Jow Forums You're just asking to hear what you don't want to hear.
Justin Collins
It’s time to break up, that relationship ran its course.
Your flame burned too hot.
James Butler
Not really sure what other options I have though
Hunter Bell
Aside from be an adult and talk to her? Yeah, it must be hard to know what to do when you're a moron.
Logan Lee
">admits something is bothering her but won't tell me what."
tried talking to her bro, got nowhere
Grayson Brooks
no it's pretty typical, she honestly probably did cheat, just start moving on now. it's important you learn how to handle this situation, aka drop her move on get better take what you learned from the relationship and improve your next one.
William Rivera
Try to talk to her, there is a high probability that she cheated, but unless she says so you can't know for sure. If she doesn't want to talk to you try some shit like "I love you with all my heart and I want to know what bothers you" etc. If she still doesn't want to talk about it dump her.
I would tell her something like this: we should be able to talk about literally everything, if you can't or want talk about something that is bothering you then pack your shit and get the fuck out of my house. I have put up with similar shit in the past and it never ended well, don't make the same mistake I did.
Josiah Bennett
You are now realizing women are cryptic creatures.
Nothing means something. Yes means no. And no means yes.
Eli Perez
Hedonistic mind set. Women priming and looking for better men. I suppose she’s only doing her job as a modern curator on who gets to pass on their genes.
When she gets older her priorities will change.
Leo Green
tfw i was there to read the original post
heh
Mason Rivera
It's accurate. It's what women do. Men shouldn't feel bad about it. They should be aware of it. Loyalty is a fake concept that really only applies to 20% of men and 0% of women. If you bank everything on it you're just asking to be hurt.
Blake Adams
She's interested in another guy and has cheated but uncertain if he's worth leaving you for. Not because she cares if you will be hurt but because she'll be seen as the bad guy. She'll continue to act this way until a fight starts, a break up is mentioned and she'll blame it all on you.
Its also possible over the next few days or weeks the other guy makes it known he's not interested in her for anything more than pussy. In this case, you'll still be thinking you've done something wrong and try to make it right with more attention and commitment which she'll enjoy and the whole episode will be forgotten by her and unknown by you.
Charles Ross
Is this the first time you two have a problem to work through? Also, have you tried again?
If you give up at the first bump because she didn't open up in the first try, then you are being lazy dude.
Liam Jones
Tell her that if she won't tell you truthfully what happened on Sunday night, it's over. Be strong and don't give any ground. I bet she won't even look you in the eye. Not all women are like this m8, this shit makes me angry on your behalf
Carson Hernandez
Welcome to the wonderful world of dating women! In all my relationship experience, and w're talking several long term multi year relationships, I can say with absolute confidence and assuredness that woman are absolutely if not more selfish than men
Isaac King
She heard some shit. Either that or she wants to get married.or is butthurt about something
Michael Gonzalez
If she doesnt tell you anything you are just going to assume the worst. Tell her that, exactly in those words.
Samuel Morales
....its just bait
Jose Parker
Maybe she's just angry with you or herself for some reason. Relationships aren't always easy. The first realization of that can be strong, if she's sensible. Maybe her friend said something or she met someone that made her think.
Definitely talk to her, though. Tell her that it troubles you that she won't talk to you.
Daniel Rivera
update: She's coming to visit after work. She's made it clear that it's just a visit and she'll be going home afterward, rather than staying over like usual.
I will do. I expect she'll be here in around 30 minutes or so but post here once she leaves and I know more.
I'm legit freaking out but there's not much more I can do now but wait and see.
Evan Richardson
OP reporting in. While there was no talk of cheating, I sure did get dumped. She wants to still be friends though, which I'm obviously super thrilled about.
Cameron Murphy
Why did she want to break up
Lucas Rodriguez
apparently she didn't think we had good long term romantic compatibility? she's also concerned that she jumped too quickly from her last relationship to this one.
seems like shit to me, but what can I do?
Tyler Morales
she fucked her ex
Asher Baker
You cannot work through it.
You cannot reason her affections back as you did not reason them over in the first place.
In situations like these, where you only have reasonable suspicion, the wisest thing to do is make sure you are totally ready to be single again. That is to say, start hitting the gym, start working harder in your career/studies, start flirting(with plausible deniability) with women more etc etc.
Trying to push through this wall with logic and emotional wet wipery(I'm sorry but that's what this "what's wrong?" Shit is) will only galvanise her decision.
You may very well lose the girl, and maybe you already lost her the night she cancelled, but thinking the right course of action is anything but making sure you could walk through a break up with excitement and a smile is a terrible idea.
Gavin Garcia
>which I'm obviously thrilled about I hope you are joking
I'm a bitter Jow Forumsbot who managed to escape that hell for 3 months before being "let's just be friends"ed again.
yes, I'm absolutely not thrilled.
Austin Myers
being freinds with her would just make you even more bitter
Kevin Wright
Cut her off!
Brayden Hernandez
Well at least you know. Don’t bother with staying friends.
Have a good life op.
Lucas Long
Hate to break it to you OP, but this is the general behaviour of a woman who's flame has gone out. Knowing women, there's no way of knowing what happened but it's not outside the realm of possibility to assume she probably had a fling with another man. I know this because I have an ex who behaved this way shortly before we broke up, and she admitted to cheating on me with a girl (she was bisexual).
This is why I gave up on women. They are like the sun in Antarctica; welcoming and warm until you take a step out of the igloo and catch frostbite on your dick.
Sorry, OP. If I was in your position, I would offer her an ultimatum. Tell her that she has to tell you what's up or you're throwing her out.
Sucks dude :/ Just put absolutely zero effort into being friends and look for someone else. Forget her.
Josiah Clark
Don't be her friend, cut her from your life. Being friends was the worst thing I ever did, I just ended up loving her more. I was basically her bf without the actually main bits of being a boyfriend.
The most degrading feeling I ever felt was watching her another dude when she invited me out for drinks. or the worse thing is she will get back with you only to the same shit after a few weeks. RUN!
Angel Turner
Unless OP wants to try to get with his ex's sister, mom, or friends he should just ditch her.
