Last year, after a hard break up with my boyfriend of 4 years, I met a guy at the gym. He asked for my number and we became friends rather quickly. It then developed into something more this month and I officially became his girlfriend. He is very nice and sweet but goddamn, since being with him as his girlfriend, he has become clingy, needy and overall insecure. He recently confessed that he lost his virginity to me... which puts a lot of pressure on me now because he tells me things like "I knew the one would come along and here you are" and "I'm glad I waited and lost my virginity to my one true love"...I feel guilty. He talks about marriage a lot and to be honest, I am having so many doubts about this. I really didn't expect him to fall so deep so quickly. He puts me on a pedestal and I don't like it because he needs to calm the fuck down and just realize I am a flawed human just like him.
Do I give him another few months or should I just abort now? I don't even know what my problem is, but I feel suffocated, even though he gives me my space when I ask.
tldr;What's my damn problem?? I have this nice (but clingy) guy and I want to vanish into the ether.
>The guilt >What's my damn problem? Your the only guilt & problem is fu*king with random people >so quickly
So, if you didn't seduce that guy, just do what you want.
Noah Ross
So he's nice to you, treats you right, and he's a good guy. You feel you like you're not deserving of this treatment because you're a bad person who should be punished or treated badly instead. What have you done to make you a bad person?
Lincoln Long
Tell him to fuck off ao that you can find a man who will trrat you like trash.
Where is your father? Did he abanyyou when you were young?
Gabriel Perez
Sounds like a manifest of cringe. You’re better off breaking up.
Gavin Richardson
> (OP) This is why guys should tell women when they are virgins, so that the woman can tell him not to expect the world after he's had sex with her once. It's not your fault op
Eli Ortiz
Link him this thread. Honesty is king and you weren't being malicious or rude in the OP
Caleb Hill
>the city of fitfags
Brody Murphy
just break up with him and he will most likely go on a fucking spree and fuck a ton of women. at least that was my experience.
Ryan Rivera
I don't know.
i don't want to be mean or ungrateful but it's true.
I really wish he told me before.
Aiden Perry
My father is alive and had a pretty above average childhood. His father abandoned the family when him and his siblings were young, he came back into their lives with a brand new family years later. He has some abandonment issues.
I don't think I can
I don't care what ex's do once we break up. I don't look back or pry into their life, i only wish them the best.
Nolan Ross
Aw that’s sweet
But leaving him would leave a bad mark. If it’s getting too personal and he’s into deep, tell him. And don’t be mean about it and just tell him that it’s a turn off but it’s okay since he’s just learning.
Reassure him. But say you want to take thing REAL SLOW. Treat him like a puppy. A puppy doesn’t know how to behave. It needs to be taught with a loving and caring hand. Puppies only know fun and love, but that can be a bad thing when they need to shape up and not destroy things around the house.
Train you man to be alone, to follow his dreams, to support him, and to be an independent person. You will shape him up to be a loyal dog, who knows how to love you and himself.
You’re lucky op.
Ryan Gray
Simply look at it from a pragmatic point of view. Do you see your future happier with him or without him? If you don't know, keep dating until you do.
Aiden Jenkins
its not about him op should just leave
Henry Ward
Right
But the guy is genuinely madly in love
You don’t dump a guy for that. You tell him what’s wrong and see if he improves.
You reward him for desirable behaviour, not kick him out.
But it’s up to the OP.
I know if I had a girl like ops boy, I would teach them how to love. Not dump them in the streets for doing what she’s supposed to.
Restraint doesn’t come easy for newbs. That’s why high school and young love are often so passionate. But as we grow old this becomes less desirable and even annoying which I understand.
Anyway it’s up to OP.
William Jones
>but I feel suffocated Good luck with any effort to get away from this guy. Guys have romantic fantasizes there is one princess that will be theirs forever. I am shocked however that he isn't slut shaming you already for not being a virgin when you met him.
Anyway you will likely need to move far away to get away and you better do it now.
Gavin Kelly
Being madly in love doesn't give one an excuse to get away with anything and being a shitty partner. You have men who beat their wives but are still madly in love. You're saying a guy like that shouldn't be dumped.
Henry Cook
Hi girl. I'm just like the guy you are with and my girlfriend dumped me.
Let me tell you one thing. Tell him these things but don't break up. See hiw he reacts. Listen he is not aware that he is insecure and that he is turning you off. He doesn't know this is a turn-off. Let him know he is acting like a loser.
My girlfrine didn't tell me shit and just left me with a broken heart and it took me 1 year to realize what i was doing wrong.
You should tell him what is wrong in the relationship. I hate this bullshit don't just fucking leave him without telling what's wrong in the relationship you asshole.
But ops boy is not a wife beater? I agree though it’s not an excuse.
But this is how relationships work. You tell them what you find undesirable or tell them what you want, and see f they change and improve for you!
You’re advocating leaving when you could simply tell them to shape up. Nothing is perfect, relationships are a learning process. Some are more advanced or have diffferent desires and goals in relationships. If OP finds him too clingy after telling him what’s wrong then it’s all on OP
Robert Mitchell
Agree with some have said already. Communicate to the guy if you haven't already. Commmunication is important in any relationship and running away isnt the solution. If you choose to leave him cut all contact with him and dont string him along.
Luis Hernandez
Thank you. I feel lucky to have someone so caring. I am trying to push him to follow his dreams but he finds ways to tie me into his hobbies or future.
Interesting point of view. Is this ok to do?
He did tell me he is disappointed that I wasn't a virgin.
I will talk to him about it. I don't want him revolving his life around me.
I have told him a lot but more communication can't hurt.
You guys are right, he deserves to be treated with more patience. I'm not used to having such a sensitive man as a boyfriend.
Jonathan Phillips
Never let the past bind you. How long you have been together and what you have done together is irrelevant. You can't go back to the past, so only the future matters for now. Think about how your future would be the happiest.
Easton Martin
I feel for this guy way too much because I've been in a similar position and didn't really know what I was doing. I don't even have any advice other than be prepared for this to fail, because he's probably not gonna really understand why you don't want him to act the way he's acting until it's over and done.
Wyatt Lee
Can you please give me more advice on how to handle him? The last thing I want to do is hurt him. Can I make this work? I need him to relax and disagree with me sometimes. He says yes to everything and will never question me even if I'm wrong. He has arguments with his brother because all he does is talk about me or compare me to his girlfriend ("my gf would never do that, she is way better than your gf") type stuff.
