> be me
> 19
> view things through logic and reason
> is emotionless
> struggles to feel empathy
> can’t stand subjectivism
> gets angry when discussing emotions
> views people from a unilateralist perspective
> feels some sort of pleasure in outsmarting people in debates/ arguments
> can’t form a relationship
> can only feel true joy in physical and athletic activity
How do I stop thinking the way I do and learn how to feel emotions better?
I know autism is a huge meme around here but you genuinely, unironically sound autistic. Have you ever been diagnosed?
No I was never formally diagnosed by the doctor but I did show several signs of it when I was a kid.
How are you not content with this? People with empathy are setting themselves up to get taken advantage of.
You must live a pretty crappy life.
I'd recommend going to a doctor, user. I'm not a professional but you've just described pretty much every major hallmark of autism. There are a ton of resources out there to help you make sense of your way of thinking if you actually are autistic. Its probably worth getting screened. If nothing else it would help take away some of the mystery you feel regarding this issue.
Because I worry that I’m developing a narcissistic personality or a potential psychopathic alter ego. Their this one girl I have feelings for but at the same time I don’t. One part of me cares for her but other doesn’t. I feel as though I’m two people at once. However both of those people struggle to feel emotion, it’s just that one is better at faking it than the other
I don’t think going to a doctor is necessary. I’m not hurting people or abusing people. Funnily enough, I tend to describe my emotions and feelings through music and poetry. I just want to feel something so that I can have the motivation to care for a girl that one side of me has feelings for
Emotions blind a lot of people through life. I wish I was like you so l would know the answer to most of my problems. Embrace the fact the you are not retarded and letting emotions guard your reasoning. Fuck all these flower eating nerds that read romcoms on a daily basis. Having emotion completely ruins the outcome of most situations that would anger or drop most people through lust or love.
Damn I wish I had your powers. Being happy depressed and sad all the time is stressful.
Quite frankly it’s not what it’s cut out to be. People telling you that your a fucking machine and psychopath is just mentally exhausting. For me I want to care for someone or something to remind me of my humanity. A girlfriend of sorts if you will
>I don’t think going to a doctor is necessary. I’m not hurting people or abusing people.
Hurting or abusing people is not the only reason to get your head checked, OP. You have an issue with a possible medical genesis. I don't see the downside in at least getting checked out and seeing if you actually are autistic. If you are there are plenty of resources for people like you to get help navigating these issues.
> I just want to feel something so that I can have the motivation to care for a girl that one side of me has feelings for
Ok, then go to a fucking doctor, dude. What do you think we're going to be able to tell you? If not a doctor then at least a therapist or mental health specialist of some kind. Struggling to feel empathy and being emotionless is a psychiatric issue. People with psychiatric issues go to psychiatric doctors. There is no home remedy or easy fix for literally not being able to feel things, OP. If you want help, get it. If you don't want help then stop complaining about it.
Well I would but the thing is I’m joining the military and I don’t want that on my record. Also in a fucked up way, it could be an advantage if I were in let’s say infantry. It may sound horrible but it could be useful
> 19
> is emotionless
> gets angry when discussing emotions
>emotionless
>gets angry
Fucking teens, I swear.
You could that yeah. For me, I’d argue that the most logical conclusion for my current predicament is the lack of dopamine and an increase of cortisol
Gonna be a lot of people calling this a meme, but watch some Elliott Hulse videos. I don't care if you like the videos or not, just try watching a few and see what you think. I can say from my own life experience he speaks a lot of truth, and also about what your problem is. Like everybody else, he also says some dumb shit here and there, but he's the main person I can recommend.
Otherwise, if you don't wanna change, just focus the abilities that you do have on getting stuff done. You can get plenty of one-night stands putting on a narcissistic facade.
Get comfortable with your emotions
Never heard of him, but I probably should in the morn tomorrow. I have to wake up early for a swim practice. Jordan Peterson has been a help for me actually. He’s my favorite intellectual imo. Though, if he can’t help, then I go to Sun Tzu and the Art of War
Hey OP, I've struggled with something similar for a long time. It may simply be a teenage thing that will wear off, or you could be like me and find that you never really grow out of it.
I definitely think that physical activity is important, but it seems like you're already doing that. It may seem like a superficial exercise, but right now I'm experimenting with 'playing a part', with my ultimate goal being to become the mask. I think it's important to "allow yourself" to be a good person. For a long time, I was convinced that I was a defective person and perhaps even evil. So now I'm instead trying to view myself as a victim of tragic circumstances and realize my potential to be good in spite of them.
Thinking logically and rationally is a good way to discount a lot of elements of human experience. Most people overly rely on logic and reason as a way to feel secure and feel like they know where they are.
> view things through logic and reason
That's good but it has it's time and place. Logic and reason are excellent ways to ruin a film and kind of socially isolate yourself as well.
> is emotionless
You're not emotionless, you're repressing them
> struggles to feel empathy
It's a skill to be developed and learned, it's hard when you repress all your emotions
> can’t stand subjectivism
Reality is subjective– if you claim to be so clever, then how come you can't understand how deeply permeated subjectivism is rooted in the human experience?
> gets angry when discussing emotions
That anger is your primary emotion and you need to work through that. Anger is normally the first wall to break through, anger blocks out a lot of things too. Thus; when I am vulnerable I get angry so I don't have to be vulnerable
> views people from a unilateralist perspective
Ok, probably not good lol
> feels some sort of pleasure in outsmarting people in debates/ arguments
Why do you have to outsmart people and prove, to yourself, that you're more intelligent? I mean that speaks volumes about your response to a group, that you have to prove that you're better according to your own, subjective, doctrine. To me it says "I don't feel confident so I have to isolate myself in a way that means I'm better". I'd say wanting to impress them would make more sense than wanting to outsmart them.
> can’t form a relationship
You already have relationships and can form new good healthy ones, you just need to change your approach slightly
> can only feel true joy in physical and athletic activity
That just sounds like you enjoy the meditative state offered by the zone.
> > 19747685
> become the mask
What’s interesting is that I view me putting on my goggles and swim cap like a mask, except that mask is a deer skull to that of the Wendigo. I view it as such because the Wendigo is a symbol for madness and cannibalism yet it was once a human. I prefer to put on suit whilst wearing an actual deer skull to communicate to people that I have certain level of class to my character but that their methods to madness. That and the fact this suit I wear looks good on my athletic body
Well user, I know your right. I know this because your not the first to tell me this, my mother has told me this and my uncle who is my father figure has told me this. I understand that objectively speaking, this is a me problem
> become the mask
What’s interesting is that I view me putting on my goggles and swim cap like a mask, except that mask is a deer skull to that of the Wendigo. I view it as such because the Wendigo is a symbol for madness and cannibalism yet it was once a human. I prefer to put on suit whilst wearing an actual deer skull to communicate to people that I have certain level of class to my character but that their methods to madness. That and the fact this suit I wear looks good on my athletic body
Go to a mental institution right now.
Ugh why? I’m not a cannibal and the deer skull is a gift from my friend
Have you watched the tv show Hannibal?
No I haven’t. I don’t watch tv. Why?
When Will Graham (the mentally troubled FBI consultant) hallucinates, he sees Hannibal Lector's (the cannibalistic serial killer) true form as being that of a wendigo.
But more than that, the I found the dynamic between these two individuals to be quite fascinating. I went into the show expecting to relate to Hannibal (a textbook Hollywood refined psychopath). Instead, I found myself relating far more strongly to Will. He is portrayed as being on the autism spectrum and having a condition where his empathy is far stronger than normal, which makes him very good at getting inside the heads of killers but causes problems in his personal life. I came to realize that my own problem mirrored this. My empathy is not nonexistent. Rather, it is so strong that I need to suppress it in order to be able to function. Both Will and Hannibal are unique people who will never be able to fully relate to others or feel normal. However, Will has a strong moral code that he follows, an isolated house in the countryside, a bunch of stray dogs that he's adopted, and eventually a wife.
When you think logically, interacting with others might feel manipulative, but that ultimately doesn't matter so long as you do what's right. And I do think that you have the potential for empathy. There are two sorts (cognitive and affective). If you're good at debating, it's quite likely that you have high cognitive empathy. I'm not saying that you'll never be able to experience emotions more fully. I'm simply trying to demonstrate how life can be lived in a positive manner without the full range of human passion.
Interesting. I never had thought of it like that. For me, I’m very calculating in choice of words and treat everything as if I was playing a game of chess, planning everything out for my plans
r/iamverysmart
Make a twitter account.
> view things through logic and reason
> is emotionless
> gets angry ...
> feels some sort of pleasure ...
> can only feel true joy ...
>How do I stop thinking the way I do and learn how to feel emotions better?
Step one is to stop lying to/about yourself. You feel emotions, you write you don't but contradict yourself writing that you do. Whatever is making/keeping you trying to close yourself off needs to be dealt with. Possibly you're afraid of getting hurt, false perception of superiority because you actually feel less, or whatever it is. Honestly explore why you are putting up a front, deluding yourself.
OP, I must say I have been quite like that all my life
at no, its not autism, I tested for it but 70% of people who visit a specialist are send away. Mine basically told me, that I cant have autism if I figured out that I want to become better at socialising on my own.
OP, its quite nice in many regards to have these traits, but I also had to go through a depression before I was able to see the light.
Finding a girl is tough and you dont really know what to do, like I went into my twenties without having talked more than 5 minutes with a girl that wasnt my sister. for me the goal to have female friends taught me how to talk to women on dates and i have a great ration of 5 first dates turned into 2 LTRs
emotions are something I (and im 29) still have close to no connection to, I can cry when there are sad things like green mile ending, when I think how much of a waste this is, but its not really emotional and Im actually happy that I cry. But other peoples emotions are a black box for me. my GF is quite emotional sometimes and im learning on a logical path how to handle her emotions.
Other user here. Can you elaborate on your relationships? I've had a number of girls interested in me over the years, but always pushed them away because I was concerned that they had fallen for an illusion. That they were convinced my cold exterior concealed some hidden passion and that I ultimately wouldn't be able to live up to their expectations. That I wouldn't be able to provide them with the emotional connection they sought. Is this something that you've dealt with?
>19
>Logical thinking
Unless you got into university at 15 and have just graduated, pick one.
Good thing you found it out so soon OP.
I have same problem, but I'm 29.
But I have no advice to offer. I'm visiting a therapist and it has only small effect.
Most of the things you feel are good. Let me tell you which one's are not.
> feels some sort of pleasure in outsmarting people in debates/ arguments
This one is bad. Means you take pride and pleasure in making others look stupid or feel bad. You are most likely right in the debates you have with people. But remember most people will not have their mind changed through logical debate, they have to come to conclusions themselves. So keep most of your views to yourself.
> gets angry when discussing emotions
Why?
>Struggle to feel empathy
mind elaborating on this one a bit?
Everything else you feel is fine. Subjectivsm is poison. It's good to work out and it does feel good. Viewing things through logic and reason is good and important but only to a point. But at a certain point one must ACT. So the more logical one is, the more they know when to think and when to simply act. Hope to hear from you.
Well for one example of me struggling to feel empathy is that my ex girlfriend who cheated on me got raped. I tried my hardest to feel sorry for her but I couldn’t as I concluded one, she could have avoided it by not dressing the way she did and had she not gone out alone in the night. One that’s more tame is this, my friends dog died and I couldn’t really emotionally attach myself to their loss. I view the dog as just that, a dog nothing more and nothing else. I wish I had it in me to cry at that moment but I couldn’t bring myself to do so for my friend
>Subjectivsm is poison
Subjectivism is the nature of the human condition
This
Every outcast turd your age feels this way. You say you "can't stand subjectivity" but if you look at your position truly objectively you'll see that you're no smarter or better than your peers; you just spend more time in your head echoing your baseless opinions on the barren walls. You're the literal burgeoning adulthood god-complex meme; you'll get older and cringe at yourself just like I am now. Trust me.