So, I've got a date with this girl next weekend. We're both in our 30s, never married, not a lot of experience. We've been out together before, a couple years ago.
I've always gotten the impression that she's really sheltered and repressed in a lot of ways. I'm pretty certain she's really into me, though I'm sure it's at least partially mediated by "unmarried girl in my 30s panic". She might be a virgin as well.
Basically, I'm trying to figure out how to get her to loosen the fuck up. I'm not trying to get directly into her panties, but just want her to be more receptive or responsive to advances rather than awkwardly defensive all the time. The annoying part is she won't drink, which would lower her inhibitions and make interacting a fuckton easier.
>ib4 she's not interested She texts me every month or two asking for a date and has kept doing that for over two years despite my ignoring her or being unavailable.
>trying to get directly into her panties >for over two years Be a man, and tell her straight that you won't marry her. Don't waste your and her time.
Gavin Anderson
I've not been trying to do shit, man. SHE'S been texting ME.
Carter Hughes
You're chasing an unavailable girl. This is who she is. This is what she wants. You aren't going to change her. For some reason she's not interested in any kind of meaningful intimacy. You're in your 30's for fuck's sake, dude. Either accept that this is who she is and enjoy the occasional date or move on.
Ryan Rogers
Except I'm not chasing her. I've been ignoring her. I've not gone out with her for over two years now. She's the one initiating every encounter, asking for every date.
Jacob Clark
As I said, man, don't try to play with her in those teen games: get baked & drunk, fucked & run away... >she won't drink
Mason Adams
You sound like an emotionally unavailable fuckbag yourself. You guys are perfect for each other. She probably just sees you as a friend lol and you're actually trying to fuck. Figure out what you want.
Henry Campbell
She likes you and you're being a dick. Reason she's so persistent is because she likes you alot and she doesn't get out enough to like anyone else. Enjoy being a cool single dude who likes to live it up until you either knock up a daddy issues whore and raise a damaged kid, or just never have kids like the badass life of the party you are and watch your gene pool die out.
Jeremiah Turner
I kinda disagree with everyone in this thread lol. She’s probably not just like ~emotionally unavailable~ for the fuck of it/because that’s how she is. If you think she’s a virgin and she’s in her 30s, that’s obviously the reason why she acts like this. She texts you every few months but never goes farther than texting/dating just like she hasn’t with other men and her own sex life and that’s probably because she’s scared or feels like it’s too late. It’s a vicious cycle that she can’t shake.
If I were you, I would just be straight up with her the way you are here. Be a man and directly confront her why she texts you every so often but nothing ever progresses and why she seems so distant/closed off. Do you like her? Are you attracted to her? Is there any possibility after you loosen her up you’ll wanna be with her? You should tell her what you want out of this, maybe a relationship or maybe just to get to know her more, without beating around the bush. Don’t ask Jow Forums, ask this chick to her face and confront her about it. Y’all could end up being something, who knows ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Carson Baker
Show me on the doll where he touched you.
Brayden Murphy
>The annoying part is she won't drink, which would lower her inhibitions and make interacting a fuck ton easier.
You're a piece of shit. My ass you're not trying to get in her panties right away, otherwise this wouldn't bother you so much. If you were a cool guy she would be at ease talking to you no matter what, no booze required. You come off as thirsty and possibly even predatory. If she didn't have a huge red flag about you going off, she might even suggest getting a drink with you, even if she doesn't drink.
Dominic Gomez
>You come off as thirsty and possibly even predatory. If she didn't have a huge red flag about you going off, she might even suggest getting a drink with you, even if she doesn't drink. Uh-huh. If I am a problem why the fuck has she been asking me to take her out on dates nonstop for over two years?
You've literally never dated a shy, quiet girl before. Shut the fuck up.
Lucas Martinez
>Be a man and directly confront her why she texts you every so often but nothing ever progresses and why she seems so distant/closed off. Do you like her? Are you attracted to her? Is there any possibility after you loosen her up you’ll wanna be with her? You should tell her what you want out of this, maybe a relationship or maybe just to get to know her more, without beating around the bush. Yes, I like her and am very attracted to her. If she loosened up and opened up, I'd be fine with moving towards a relationship.
Thanks user. I'll figure shit out with the girl.
Luke Gomez
top kek @ this fuming roast it's probably the girl from the OP too
Anthony Reyes
Dunno dude, are you fucking married freal? Is she? Y'all have others on your radar or you're stupid or busy. Only logical explanations. Stop avoiding her if you like/want her. That's stupid.
Jose Johnson
Neither of us are married. I've been kinda busy with my career (also I had a girlfriend last summer and had her on block). Her scheduling has always been weird.
Caleb Cook
>girl asks guy out Why the fuck does this never happen to me?
Levi Peterson
MDMA will loosen her up
Adrian Morales
you have no money
Ryder Cook
>She likes you and you're being a dick. Reason she's so persistent is because she likes you alot and she doesn't get out enough to like anyone else. I mean, this is probably true. Even if this poster is really autistic, it sounds like OP's girl is also quite autistic.
Dominic Martinez
>her to be more receptive or responsive to advances rather than awkwardly defensive all the time How long and how many dates have you been on with her?
Sounds like you're expecting someone more forward/promiscuous than she is.
Grayson Brown
who lets somebody chase them for 2 years while ignoring them until it becomes convenient? fuck sake you sound like a college thot
Caleb Cox
For a second I thought this was about me, except I'm slightly younger and have been hanging out with this guy for less than a year.
But is right and you're also right about her being like she is - as in shy, introverted, maybe a little emotionally unavailable too. At least that's my case which is similar to yours. However we have been progressing little by little in the recent months. I'm going at it slower than a grandma but I'm lucky my guy seems to have patience and also seems to be itnerested in something meaningful and long-term, reason why I'm also cautious and sometimes sway back and forth but I try not to give in to occasional doubts, instead get to slowly know the other person.
Good luck OP, there's a big chance she may like you a lot and if you really like her, you two could settle for a very long time, if not for life. Try going out on a date with her and get to know her, don't confront her too aggressively, she may have an elusive style too
Kevin Hughes
Boring old fart writing here
At your age people are beginning quite legitimately to think in terms of relationships rather than hook-ups. Chances are thagt she's looking for more than quick sex, and you owe it to her - just as basic courtesy - to make it clear you don't want that, so she can go look elsewhere.
Ian Reyes
Well, if your guy is tolerating the speed, he probably seriously likes you.
Jace Garcia
lmao only someone with no money would think girls ask you out if you have money
>t. I have money
Jayden Hill
>How long and how many dates have you been on with her? We've been on six dates totaling about forty hours of face-to-face time. This was actually part of the problem for me when we were first dating, that a date with her wasn't just chilling for a couple hours. It was a full-day outing that took planning. >Sounds like you're expecting someone more forward/promiscuous than she is. The weird thing about it has been that she's been rather forward when it comes to asking for dates. Honestly, if it'd been left to me, I'd probably not have bothered asking her on a second or third date because I'd have thought she wasn't interested. But, go figure, when we were first hanging out, we went out four weekends in a row, each time at her suggestion. Promiscuous, I think is a loaded and unfair term. When I'm complaining about the lack of physicality, I'm not merely referring to her refusal to sleep with me. Even kissing wasn't something she could do, or at least, I never got her in the right position. Handholding was awkward, though never refused. Now, as another commentator rightly suggested, we hadn't ever had a clear talk about our feelings, expectations, or goals. I think it's pretty likely she thinks I was just out for a quick fuck. For me, it's more that physical contact is important. Her persistence, though, has kept her in my mind. I'll say that's true only because I am attracted to her and do like her; anyone else, it'd be creepy and annoying.
Jonathan Foster
>We've been on six dates That's not that many, doesn't matter if you spent the whole day together, why are you even emphasizing it? Actually the way you write this (intentionally or not) makes it sound like you think you're owed physical contact because x amount of time has been put in by you, that makes you sound like a really shitty person. >Promiscuous, I think is a loaded and unfair term. Now we're getting somewhere, is slutty a better term? >When I'm complaining about the lack of physicality, I'm not merely referring to her refusal to sleep with me. "merely referring to" aka not just referring to because you think you're owed physical contact then progression to more intimate physical contact because you put in x amount of time. You're literally that "Nice Guy" not nice guy meme that gets posted. >For me, its more that physical contact is important. And? Clearly she wants to take it slowly unlike whatever promiscuous girls you're used to. If you actual like her then you'll have no problem waiting.
Joshua Walker
>massive chip on shoulder, the post Thanks for your valuable input. One internet has been added to your account.
