My girlfriend wants an 'open relationship'

This shit is really hard for me to come to terms with
That's what i'm hoping for
it was really weird too when she did that. She said, "user, don't you want to try any other girls out" (paraphrasing)

yep, you have different values and want sifferent things in life. Dont see it working out. RIP

>There's a difference between confessing to being attracted to others and saying you want an open relationship. She literallu said she wants to have sex with other dudes.
My boyfriend said he wanted a threesome, and I said no, I don't mind that he tried asking though, communication is good

Stop falsely believing she is still good. She doesn't respect the relationship or you enough to keep it monogamous the whole way through. Over time she'll get sick of being monogamous and cheat, she just is that type of person

Cut your losses and break up with her. Its for the best

Im really torn. Inside, i know you guys are right, but all the time i've invested with her really makes me want to give her the benefit of the doubt.

What if your bf said he wants to date other girls besides you? Would that not have bothered you?

Just leave her. What kind of question is that, my dude? Do you realize how fucking pathetic you sound? She wants to have you around to give her huggies and cuddlies because the guys that will be pounding her daily won't put up with that shit. I almost feel offended to see that post.

Just leave her. She clearly has no regards to you as a person.

If she really does want this im leaving
she said she told me about it because she wanted to communicate her feelings
she really didn't seem like the cheating type before all this.
you're probably right

Break up with her otherwise your a gutless idiot. Its completely disrespectful to you and your relationship what she is suggesting, too much baggage now. End it

She already fucked another guy.
If you are not ok with being a cuck, cut your losses and dump her.
Sorry about that, Brosef. You will find love somewhere else. Godspeed.

i don't know why she even put me in this position in the first place. What kind of person is up for that sort of thing?

Dating other women is very different from sex, which is what I think op's gf wants.

thanks for the kind words user

Its not real man leave her, Im tired of hearing about girls doing people wrong and them not being able to get over it

If I had a gf who had the nerve to ask me that we’d be done right there, thats the biggest insult she could have given me and Id lose all faith I had in her prior

Dont be just a tool to her, break it off, find someone who will treat you right and wont try to take advantage of you

Who knows, no point dwelling on it unless you want to drive yourself mad. As everyone else here has said you will be better off for so many reasons if you break up with her. The relationship wont last anyway, this will bring with it too much baggage and resentment, besides even if you stay together and she comes back what stops her from doing it again when she meets a guy she thinks is cute. By all means do what you want but if the idea of her sleeping with other guys makes you uncomfortable you should end it immediately

*ex-girlfriend

I disagree. You can't just separate sex from romantic feelings. Hell, one of the main reasons relationships and romantic love exist is to make people have sex and they're interconnected in the sense that love leads to sex and sex leads to love. During and after sex the production of hormones that are responsible for affection and trust is highly increased. It's why most of the time someone gets the fee fees in a "friends with benefits" relationship.

well, i'm going to talk to again later today, ill keep you guys posted as to what happens after
Update aprox- 6 PT

don't cave in no matter how much she tries to manipulate it with 'but i love you i didnt really mean it' stuff. stay strong user

Break it off break it off break it off break it off I know it sucks I know you don't want to I know you think you can works things out you cannot there is a cannonball in the side of your relationship get out before you have to be hurt more get out get out get out

People who want open relationships lead with saying their poly nowadays, one partner bringing the idea of an open relationship to another unprompted will ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAS end in disaster and she will 90% fuck those dudes and just not tell you if you tell her no.

Dump her

note that open relationships are usually rigged against the male part (in a hetero relationship) as women can usually easily find a sex partner and man have by far a harder time

PLZ UPDATE
I always want to know how the stories on here play out

Don't fall for the sunk cost meme. Drop her.

Dump her and fuck her friends for cheating on you

I would have walked away the first time she asked about it. She basically told you that you're not enough for her. Don't you want better for yourself?

6 months is not a long time and should still be the honeymoon period and she's already wanting other dick.

You really gotta let her go, man
Like you gotta

>open relationship.
Utter trash. Find a better person.

hahaha no fucking way. It's quite the opposite my friend, it is only because we want to fuck women that we get emotional about not getting one. Just consider how many men stop adoring women once they start getting laid, and realize that they're just bratty noisy human beings with vaginas.

Of course you can separate sex from romantic feelings. The only feelings that arise when you fuck someone is the jealousy that you feel when you no longer get to be the only one fucking them, that is pure animal harem instincts. It's not love, it's just your inner gorilla being mad because some other gorilla is eyeballing your girl

OP how about you tell your gf "ok let's be monogamous again but in the future if I ever want to fuck another girl then you're going to have to let me do it because I let you do it to me." Let's see what she thinks about that

Tough one, OP. I sympathize. I think it is clear that she still loves you, but she feels limited by the relationship. It sounds like she is struggling to determine which she prefers more; her freedom or the relationship. You can tell her to choose one or the other. Whatever choice she makes, I think it would be a genuine choice on her part.

Part 1)
I’m an older user. I was married once upon a time. I worked as a union pipefitter, mainly at construction sites. I was especially busy in the SF Bay Area due to big construction booms with the tech start ups.

My wife was a very educated lawyer. She wasn’t in any type of partnership, but she made decent money. I had put her though law school. I was the one making the big money with all the over time. She had the luxury of having a bank account filled with money and the ability to just study and not work. She was working at Dairy Queen when she met me. I was already over 100K.

So nows she’s a big time lawyer, making more than me. She’s going to dinners, events with clients. She starts coming home later and later. We all have IPhones, and it’s all under my account. I worried when she wouldn’t answer her phone but didn’t update me. I searched for her location by using the “where’s my iPhone” by typing in the credentials. It was my account because all app purchases was done with my card. It was easy to sign in.

Anyways, she’s in a part of town in a luxery condo complex. No boutiques or shops around there, even open at this time of night. I knew this area because I she mentioned moving to this part of town.

She cheated and feels bad.

Part2)
So all of a sudden the phone goes off the radar. She turned it off. I hear her come in at 4 in the morning, and I pretend I’m alseep.

We talk the next morning and she tells me she was at a party and tries to play it off. Her story doesn’t make sense and she backpeddles a bit. I tell her I’ll talk to her boss and she said it’s embarrassing to have her husband verify stuff like this, and it makes her look bad as a lawyer because she told him that I knew where she was at.

I hired a private investigator to follow all of the lawyers back home, one by one, and found out which lawyer it was. When my wife was out of town for a convention, I went into the office and got to meet the man she stayed out late one night.

He’s taller, educated, fast talked, and well dressed. I told him everything, from my point of view, and told him to come clean.

He told me she told him that she was in an open marriage. He KNEW she was married, but that I was in too much pain for sex, and I was a cranky old man. He was deeply apologetic, and offered to take me out for a beer and talk more. I said no thanks, and went home.

She can’t home a couple days later and I told her what I found out. She cried, and said she “loves me” and she wants to be with me, but she’s not getting everything she “needs”. Needless to say we are divorced and she doesn’t work at that office anymore.

user, if she doesn’t get your permission to fuck me openly, she will do it discreetly. What daddy don’t know, don’t hurt.

I gave this woman everything, money, career, education, love, honesty, respect, loyalty, and it wasn’t enough.

I punched a little out of my league. She was a hottie, but the hot ones are the crazy ones.

It’s over man. Just move on. I was 8 years in that marriage. Don’t come here talking about too much time invested...

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>not immediately terminating the relationship upon hearing her say this

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What kind of spineless fucking fag are you op? GET RID of this whore asap and find a woman with class that respects you. But you probably aren't going to do that huh? You're weak, I can tell from your posts. Sack the fuck up and move on.

Sorry to hear that bud.. I see more and more reasons not to ever get married.

Open relationships are like being a vegetable (as in a person who is a vegetable, not like a carrot).
It's just a bunch of suffering and pretending things are alright when in truth you don't do much more than keep a corpse's heart beating.
I'm of the opinion open relationships are bullshit and that if someone suggests an open relationship and the other party doesn't agree, they'll just cheat in secret.
End the relationship, it is entirely possible she didn't cheat, but the moment the words "open relationship" are uttered, the relationship passed a point of no return, and honestly beyond that the only reason anyone might want to consider sticking around is if they have kids and they are trying to keep the family together for their sake.

>see this thread
Suddenly I'm okay with being a virgin.

As mentionned by many others, she will fuck foreign boys the moment she is out of the country. Relationship over, move on buddy. She has probably been going around the cock carousselle already, so cut your losses...

I’m in a good place now. When we got divorced, she wasn’t working, but my lawyer made the point that she has the potential to make more. I didn’t have to pay alimony and we had no kids.

I also want to say, the lawyer she left me for was married, and out of her league. At the time I went possessive psycho and found out where he lived and saw his family. This wasn’t monkey branch swinging to a better person. It was just lustful power fucking. It blows my mind how some people can do that. With the money invested in her law school, It was cheaper doing that. I kept my pension and everything. I did have to sell an investment property we bought together, but that was HER money invested in that as well. I would be fucked paying alimony for life if it weren’t for her last couple years of high earnings, almost making double what I make.

The judge was not sympathetic to her cause. Her office even recommended a good family law lawyer, that was close to the judges. They did not care. I’m an army vet, sompleton union worker. I did everything right and played the game by all the rules. I consider myself lucky in all of this and look back and laugh.

I have a black lab and raise goats and eat on a farm. My nephew got me on this site because I wanted to know where all the funny memes he would send me came from. He’s a good lad.

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Better to die quickly, fighting on your feet, than to live forever begging on your knees

OP back with an update
Just got off the phone with her. Here is how the conversation went.

I called around 3:00pm and she (clearly drunk again) said that she wanted to talk when its tomorrow morning for me.
"What the fuck I thought you said you wanted to talk after i got off work"
"(drunken gibberish) no when its morning for you tomorrow"
"What, why?"
"Now doesn't work for me, are you upset"
"Are you fucking kidding, of course i am!"
Then she hung up.

Whelp im as good as single now boys, how do I start the grieving process?

ps. I'm still gonna call her tomorrow to break up with her formally.

So she didn’t like Pedro’s cock this time? There’s always Jorge tomorrow... You have no control until you man up. Start hanging out with Sally and Veronica and some of the other girls you met at the gym, whether they exist or not.

Block her on all forms of social media and do things that will take your mind off her

What a dumb slut. She is probably fucking a guy right now desu.

Good for you tho on tossing away this whore. You did the right thing. Well, I suppose now just work on yourself.be thankful you got rid of something that would surely become very toxic in the future. Don’t worry about women for a while, focus on yourself

sorry it turned out that way user. you really do take a gamble in marriage these days. but when it works out and everyones loyal its great. what a shitty woman.

wtf dude dont give her the decency of a "formal break up" just texting saying its through and let me know when you want to pick your stuff up. then just ignore the thot

The reality of what she's done will hit her once ste returns from abroad. She will learn a valuable lesson on the downsides of instant gratification. Keeping in contact with her will only pain you as the trust is gone. If you want to heal, use this time that she is away to improve yourself. Fuck one or two of her ugly friends. Feel free to use her for sex when she returns but you'd be a fool to take her back.

jfc nuke this generation

>2018
>not being a swinger
Fucking vanillas, I swear. What does having all this needless drama in your lives do for you?

Don't be a cuck dude. Get out now. youtube.com/watch?v=-b1cD3PQQDc

Break up with her immediately.

Do what said.

Take it from a guy who up until recently was dealing with an asshole ex girlfriend for over a year, make this cut and dry. I wish to GOD I had just a regular breakup instead of this one foot in one foot out thing for the last year. Just be done, and send her ass packin'.

Do you think that every woman that goes out of the country fucks the local guys? My gf went on a work program to the USA for 4 months. Should I just break up with her?

No, there are still some loyal, good people left in the world. If you trust her, assume she's one of them.

Brake up with her you cuck! if she tolled you she wanted an open relationship.

Cuck Problems 101

You know what the fuck you need to do.

Well I did trust her until she told me that she went out with some guy for wine. It was supposed to be a group hangout but they went alone in the end. Then I found some videos from her roommates instagram where they went to a bar with the guy and then went swimming at night. What do you think?

I'm not op. She didn't say that to me.

Giving her a “formal breakup” would give her closure. That’s what you do for women who did everything right, but YOU lost interest and you had to be the bad guy and end it. Nope.

She’s the one being shitty and hanging up on you. Consider this a blessing. You got her colors to show much much early on, saving you heart ache and misery.

Some women just can’t contorl themselves, like kids in a candy store. Adult women should only be treated as the oldest kid in the house.

Don’t worry my friend. Before my ex wife, I had a GF who had a really close guy friend. We know how all this ends, but I was trying to get her to finally get her shit together and get ready to form a family. She couldn’t help but feel obliged to go out drinking and partying when this guy friend invited her out. I never saw her cheating, but some women don’t know how to commit and put it all to their men. This is obviously the case with her. She doesn’t know how to be a young classy lady.

Remember, you did nothing wrong. You’re fine, and it’s most likely some underlying issues that exists with her. Better luck next time.

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Women count on one asset. It depreciates fast, and they use it like it last forever. They spend thousands to maintain it, and hours to trick us.

Sometimes I get mad how the “system” works. But I remember how fucking awesome it is to be a guy. We literally have every reason to be happy.

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forgive and forget?

discard and forget

stop treating women like you own them. "discarding" them for simply suggesting something is unreasonable.

If you can score bitches as easy as she can sell it, then go for it. Otherwise, if you're as possesive as me then kick that whore to the curb.

If you're the same person

Remember when you failed to heed this warning.

If you're not

Get outta here with this shit play your games somewhere else.

>t. Roastie

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Don't use negative events and negative people as fuel for your agenda. Whatever this girl's issue is, ultimately, isn't OP's problem. They want completely different things and should definitely terminate their relationship immediately. There doesn't have to be a right or wrong party. OP wants a committed relationship and she's obviously not ready. Belittling and dehumanizing is not required to find an amicable solution to this issue. OP has every right to feel hurt but encouraging him to treat every girlfriend he isn't compatible with like disposable garbage because they couldn't rectify their personal differences is childish. If being vindictive is how you process disappointment as an adult then you have some serious growing up to do.

All OP is to do is tell her that he isn't interested in being in a relationship with someone who is so unsure of being monogamous. Whatever her struggle be can't be his. Wish her a good life and then bail. That solves the problem without requiring anyone to act like a shitty little brat.

>t. incel

Don't even bother calling her, she doesn't deserve it. Just send her a text 'we're done' and then never speak to her again. Make sure you actually cut contact, nothing good ever comes of talking to ex's

Having respect for yourself isn't treating someone like you own them, OP's girlfriend is of course allowed to suggest something just as OP is allowed (and rightly so) to be uncomfortable about her suggestion to the point where he doesn't see the relationship working any longer with that genie out of the bottle

I’m voluntarily celebate, enjoying the last 20 years of my life on a farm. I’ve had many relationships over the years.

Incels is seriously overused. Even if I were truly in fact an incel, how can a woman shame something than she can give away with no effort at all? It’s ironic really. She can literally bend over, pull Down her panties, and show her ass bare to the world, and a man, in public will engage and fuck her. No words exchanged. A man can pull out his dick and say free sex, and no woman would do it.

Just funny. But seriously, you’re a roastie. Got lost.

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With that, I'd say it's worth looking into, but if she can stare you in the eyes and tell you nothing happened, and she seems genuine, I wouldn't give it a second thought. If these things happen again, THEN I would worry. Some situations you have to look past, because I can't speak for you, but I've spent time alone with plenty of women, in the presence of alcohol, and did nothing with them. She may well do the same sometimes.

>I’m voluntarily celebate,
>you’re a roastie

Sounds like something an incel would say....

Does it change anything that he is a rich buff dude?

Honestly, not really. Not if you generally find her trustworthy. Again, been in similar situations with attractive women, and I chose not to do things with them. Not to say she couldn't have, or even didn't, but if she's never given you much reason to not trust her, don't let it build from something small. These situations happen in life, you know? And even if she wanted to leave, sometimes it comes off poorly in a social setting if you do. Best to just let this one go and if something weird happens again, then look further into it.

Again, not to say you shouldn't consider that a possibility. Don't be willfully ignorant, just don't outright accuse her of something you've got no evidence of, only light suspicion.

Ok, will do.

What the fuck are you on about?

If you like don't like what I said that too bad get over it..........or don't not my problem.

Not taking the bait. Actually I like using roastie because it’s the best inflammatory word to use to get a whore riled up. Based off personal experience, flaps do not form from the labia, after much use. I can tell you’re particularly pissed because you probably suffer from the fact you’re outer lips look like beef flaps! Lol.

For the kids:
I’m an older man, who is past his prime, and had many relationships. If you meet a woman with beef curtains, it’s not indicative of a used up cunt. It’s all genetics.

same guy who said t.incel
>roastie
>obvious salt
>hatred of women
>thinking all women are sluts whose panties just fucking unhinge themselves around men
what the fuck. dude just fix your outlook. how can you live with a bandana around your eyes like that

No there's not. It's over. And I think you know it is

I cant get out of my bed. I just keep thinking about her right now and how little she cared about me really. Why am I so sad?

Because you're human.

OP you need another dude's perspective besides this goddamn echo chamber you've got going for yourself. YES it is possible to separate romantic feelings and emotional feelings. Sex and love don't have to go hand-in-hand, life isn't a fucking hentai epilogue. 's idea of "love leads to sex and sex leads to love" can be true, but ONLY WHEN THE ARRANGEMENT WORKS LIKE THAT. It just happens to be a more common narrative.

People can have very different physical needs. Someone can be completely competent at sex, but sometimes it still isn't enough. I'm 25 M, and my gf is amazing in bed, and only getting better. But sometimes I want more...variety. Threesomes are in the picture, because we trust each other that it won't wreck our relationship. You don't have to get to know somebody well to have sex with them. Besides, nobody can meme together better than the two of us.\\

Ask yourself: Is sex an act of emotion, or an act of attraction? There is no wrong answer. Who are you to judge someone else's needs?

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did I say romantic feelings & emotional feelings? I meant feelings of romance vs feelings of attraction

>Whew almost called you a cuck.

Apparently you must think men and women are biologically the same otherwise you wouldn't have wasted your time posting this.

Considering the fact that you are a male you being polygynous is to be expected.

Not the same for a woman.

open relationship means they want your permission to cheat on your ass. just tell her to fuck off. she hasnt acted on them?

>>probally bullshit on that one that you know about....

get a clue. she is a cheat. kick her ass to the kerb.

Guess what. She probably already had banged some dudes while she's been away

Only bringing it up and suggesting an open relationship as to console herself for her infidelity.

Bin the bitch

Be strong and don't go crawling back, user. Proud of you for stabding up for yourself.