When will my gf put out?

I've been dating a girl for 8 months now and we still haven't slept together. We are both virgins into our early-mid 20s, and I am her first boyfriend. I had a couple of girlfriends back in school but none of them really went anywhere. This is the first time I have ever genuinely fallen in love with someone (and I can tell she loves me a lot too) but I have to wonder - when IS the right time to begin having sex in a proper adult relationship?

I keep telling myself "there's no rush" and "when she's ready", but it seems I have a pretty large libido while she doesn't seem to care for that kind of thing at all. We have slept together (slept, not fucked) in my bed a few times wearing just underwear. I have seen her tits several times and she has given me a handjob. I had to make the move on that, she didn't initiate it although it was consensual as far as I could tell. But every time I have gone to take things further, such as going to put my hand down her pants (even after a long time of foreplay) she always grabs my hand and moves it away, or makes an excuse such as she's on her period.

She is very shy, delicate and inexperienced, so I have always assumed that she's just simply not ready yet. However I feel like it's quite odd that we're now 8 months down the line and we are still in the same situation physically. I feel like there might be more to it. How can I approach the situation in a sensitive manner? I don't want to be pushy, but I feel like things are... off, somehow. Do I confront her about it, and if so, how?

>inb4 cheating
I am like 99.9% sure that she isn't, she REALLY doesn't seem like the type. She barely knows any other men, and I can just sort of tell she what she says about not having a boyfriend before is true. Our first kiss pretty much proved it because she was really bad at it.

Anyway I digress. Could somebody just please tell me if this is normal or not?

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This is really something you need to talk with her about. After 8 months you should be more than comfortable enough with each other. Unless she's saving herself for marriage or some other moral objection. It's time for a serious conversation.

Talk to her about it openly. Tell her what you want, ask what she wants, and why?

At this point in her life it could seriously be insecurity. Shame in her body, fesr of you seeing her vagina, fesr it'll hurt fear it'll be disappointing, fear you'll stop loving her and leave her after.

Could be legit wants to wait till marriage.

But you have to open a discussion and be straight forward.

Oh and
>When's the right time.

There is no answer to this. Every situation is different. There are averages and generals. There are no rules.

Your girlfriend is a boyfriend buddy

If I'm not fucking with a girl in a week then I'm dumping her. Miss me with this cuckold shit.

>After 8 months you should be more than comfortable enough with each other.
We are pretty comfortable with each other but just not in regards to sex. Even I get fairly embarrassed trying to speak about that sort of thing with her. We've both discussed why we're still virgins and it's more or less the same reason - we're both pretty socially awkward and it just never happened in our teens. We both watched our friends lose their virginities around us while it never happened to us.
How do I reassure her if it is just insecurity? I mean she's seen my penis so we SHOULD both be even by now. Not that I want to have to use that as like a playing card or anything, just saying. But anyway how could I help her get over that sort of thing?

I don't THINK she wants to wait til marriage... I know her and I feel like she would have said so by now. She isn't religious so that can't be a reason. Besides, we are both pretty young still so I don't think marriage is really on either of our minds for the near future.
What is the average then? That's what I want to know at least, so I have like something to scale it against.
...d-down, boner

Well sorry man but I'm not promiscuous like you so I can't really take your "advice"

>How do I reassure myself it's insecurity

It's as though you totally glazed over the part i said "ask her".

>What's the average

Fuck I dunno man. Seems these days not long at all. My wife and I were together for two weeks, my first ltr was 6 months, I've had flings and small relationships that were like... Within 24 hours of meeting.

People don't wait long these days mang.

>ask her
I know I need to but it's not so easy for me. HOW do I ask her?
>people don't wait long these days mang
Well my gf does clearly

Promiscuous is a word that only applies to women. Look, if you are fine with not having sex then good for you but this kind of shit is a gateway to getting cucked. It is clear that your girlfriend has already sensed weakness in you. She does not see you as a dominant man (otherwise her instincts would kick in and she would be opening her legs anytime). She sees you as one of those weak beta "nice guys" that you can play around with for a while before you can land yourself a real man.

Look, without being mean, in my experience when women love you they will go to ridiculous length to keep you. They will do literally anything you want. If your girlfriend is not completely satisfying you then that means she does not love you, she just merely tolerates your presence.

lol

This is exactly the kind of thing I've thought about myself but I just CAN'T see her doing this sort of thing to me. It's hard to explain here but if you knew her you would get what I mean. She really is a virgin, I can sense it.

Of course I'm definitely going to keep this sort of possibility in mind, but I REALLY don't think this is the case. I'm sorry to disappoint you if you thought this was gonna be just another "beta cuck" story or something

Yes and your gf is an individual. There is no such thing as an average person. If she was on the norm on these she'd be weird about something else. That's why I'm saying there is no answer and it doesn't matter.

>How

"Hey, we've been together awhile, and I love you, and I want to take this to the next level and have sex with you. But it doesn't seem like you're on the same page. I love you and I will support you on your decisions, but I need to make sure we're on the same page and fully understanding each other and what we want and why. You can tell me anything."

Well, you have the wrong impression that I want this to be a beta cuck story. I don't personally gain anything if you are getting cucked, so I'm pretty impartial here. I am just saying things how they are. I'm glad that you can at least keep the possibilities I'm mentioning in mind, that shows you are not delusional which is good. But well, you have your girlfriend of 8 months. By 8 months I could talk about anything with my current girlfriend, and the same goes for all the hoes I've dated in the past. In fact, and this may help you, a long time ago I told her that she was not giving me enough sex. Bitch stepped the fuck up. I suggest you do the same, though I don't know where the power balance leans in your relationship. I hope you do.

That is more or less what I want to say to her. I just hope that I can get it across alright.

I think I'm also a little worried that bringing this sort of thing up is going to rock the boat or something. I really don't want to scare her off. She is my only real chance at love. And also I am REALLY scared of being falsely accused if you know what I mean. As a man, especially.

Thanks man, I'll keep your words in mind.

She won't falsely accuse you. And if you rock the boat, whatever dude. You already don't really want the same things.

Truth is, you're runninng a bigger risk as is than asking her if accusations are your concerns. What he she really doesn't want to and she can't tell you and you keep making advances on her she doesn't want because you don't know?

If you did know wouldn't you know not to try shit?

It covers your ass too.

Do you know if she's religious?
Why do you think she's not putting out?

>And if you rock the boat, whatever dude.
But things are really good right now, I don't want to risk spoiling it all for the sake of my own selfish desires.
>Truth is, you're runninng a bigger risk as is than asking her if accusations are your concerns. What he she really doesn't want to and she can't tell you and you keep making advances on her she doesn't want because you don't know? If you did know wouldn't you know not to try shit?
I guess, but I'm just trying to test the waters really. I stop when she signals me to.
No she's definitely not, her family are like new age hippy type people so she's definitely not Christian. I thought she wasn't putting out because she was just nervous about the idea of having sex. But it's been 8 months now and there still hasn't really been any kind of substantial movement on that front. I don't know what her desires are, if she even has any. And if she's waiting for me to initiate it all then that's bullshit because any time I do try to initiate things, she rejects me.

How receptive is she to other types of romantic interaction?

Yeah, she likes all that gooey romantic stuff (and I do too desu even if I'm not that good at it). She is incredibly sweet and makes plenty of cute gestures before even I can. She likes to cuddle as much as I do and whenever we're together we can't keep our hands off each other (in a romantic way not a sexual way). Problem is she is not very good at initiating or keeping a conversation, so sometimes I feel like I have to lead it all, which I'm not great at either. Honestly though, personality wise she is the most refreshing girl I have ever met. I feel like she is a REAL woman. I just wish she had the same desires physically too.

I dunno, mate, maybe she's afraid of the pain or something... sounds like you should literally just ask her why

Yeah I think she could just be scared of the pain or getting pregnant. Understandable but I just thought we would be a little bit further than that by now. Again this is my first proper relationship so it's not like I have a frame of reference or anything. I'm sure if I wasn't a virgin I probably wouldn't care so much about this. I'll try and have the conversation soon but as I said it's not very easy for me.

She’s probably scared or waiting for you to make the first move. Talk to her. Tell her you have feelings for her and want to make sure you both are on the same page about sex. Tell her you are afraid and excited and horny and hot for her and you hope she is too. Tell her you’d like to be responsible with her heart but also that you want to feast upon her body and the feeling is hard to control. Ask her whether she’s saving herself for marriage or saving herself for later tonight. Let her know you want to be careful and protect her from disease and pregnancy and want her to feel safe in your arms. She’ll be wet and ready after all that.

I like your descriptiveness haha, I wish I could sound as passionate and sexy. Or maybe I do and just don't know it, who knows.

>Ask her whether she’s saving herself for marriage or saving herself for later tonight
I don't think I am this level of Chad desu, as much as I would like to be. I just think, coming from me, this would pressure her too much.

I'm definitely going to try and convince her I will do the right thing and make her feel safe. I just hope she takes to it

Listen to this man op, I would give the same advice but he’s already done it for me.

I honestly don't know if it's normal. I took my last gf's virginity and she was my 2nd. Also in our mid-20s. We fucked on our one month anniversary. Are you sure she's attracted to you?