How do I become a more sexual person? Been with husband for 7 years married for 4. We like to travel...

How do I become a more sexual person? Been with husband for 7 years married for 4. We like to travel, moving around every two years or so. He is so loving, but I can't seem to find much sexual drive. Im definitely attracted to him, but I can't seem to find the energy to have sex. I just feel like a fat, disappointing, loser. I find myself making excuses, if we do have sex, I won't get on top, I just lay there. I WANT more energy so badly. I want to please him so badly. Don't want to be the cause of a sexless married because I won't put effort in. I know what some people will say. Just try harder, get healthy, don't be lazy, make more effort if you actually care...but how? I don't want to be this way guys, advice?

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How do you show affection to each other during the day time?

Do you flirt at all with your husband during the day?

Do you have any fetishes?

Does HE have any fetishes?

Get a set of Ben Wa Balls, the kind with a little weight inside them that shifts around as you walk. Keep them in during the day and see if that doesn't get you more ramped up for the evening.

Is it someone else?

What's your body type? Are you actually "fat"? Or are you normal, but not what Hollywood says you should be? Hollywood and the media have completely destroyed women's idea of how they're supposed to look. Even the models don't look like what you see, they get airbrushed and photoshopped. Even then, that's not what guys actually want to play with, some bony stick figure with the same pouty lips and no expression thanks to her Botox at age 23. Real men want a woman with actual hips and, stuff.

First of all, instead of berating yourself, offer him the courtesy of believing him. If he's still with you, if he still desires you, thyen you CAN'T be the fat disappointing loser - at least not in his eyes.

Then lots of people - men and women - find themselves so overworked that they have little energy for sex. The solution is to shift your priorities. Decide that you want to be energized for sex tonight and let the housework (or whatever) go for once, so you do have the energy. You can always catch up on the work tomorrow

We do have a good time most of the time. We make each other laugh a lot, some flirting. I kiss him a lot, we play video games together, I feel confident and playful till it's actually time to do the thing. He's a bit into bondage, he likes to be tied up and spanked. Which I like to do for him, I know he enjoys that role revesal, him usually being the dominant one. I don't really know if I have any fetishes, I feel weird about exploring.

No, I totally love him, I just don't feel that 'into' sex, which I know is a bit disappointing to him

I'm pretty chubby, 5' 2" 180, I exercise a fair amount, I ride my bike ten miles a day. I have a slow metabolism and not the best diet. He is very much into bigger chicks. He love my curves. The problem is not him, its me. Like I feel so akward about my big belly, even though we've been together for year and I've always been this size. he is super supportive and doesn't really care how I look. He just want me to feel good. And I want the same thing. Idk. He has a normal sexual appetite and I don't feel like I satisfy it.

At what age group are both of you right now?

>pretty chubby
No, you're outright fat. Fat people get tired quicker and generally have less energy. What you have to do should be obvious.

Yeah, I know. I dont feel like it's necessarily the physical problem. More mental. I work full time, I ride my bike everywhere, I cook, clean, garden, I have the energy to do everything else. It's more about the desire. I di feel weird about my body. I just don't actually enjoy sex that much, wtf is wrong wit me

I'm 24 he's 26

You literally cannot have a good sex life if you aren't happy with your body. Start working out

1. You are clearly obese. obesity causes low blood circulation dulling your sex drive. get fit, not thin. Choose what you eat have a steady balance diet of everything and refrain from eating fast food. learning to cook some fresh vegetables and fruits can also be a good way to motivate yourself to the goal.

2. Your husband is supportive & loves you dearly. He just tells you he likes you the way you are to make you feel good about yourself. Have a talk with him about how you don't like your body the way it is. He will encourage you and give you morale. Think of the long-term effects of staying fit like having to live longer and seeing your grandchildren grow, reducing the risks of diseases. Motivation and Morale is key.

3. Set realistic timeline goals. Losing weight is a long process and you will feel frustrated with the slow change so it is really important to set an achievable goal for a set period of time.

4. Tell yourself that you are not a fat, disappointing, loser. it depletes your morale if you keep thinking like that. You're not a loser, you are married to a good husband.

5. Explore new kinds of activities although you already have a many hobbies you do it wouldn't hurt to explore. You might get a renewed self-gratification and appreciation.

Okay, so you play video games. This will help you understand better. Think of the hardware parts of a computer as the physical component of your body and the performance speed of a computer as the mental component of your body. if the hardware (physical) gets dusty, broken or outdated the performance speed (mental) slows down or malfunctions so you need proper maintenance to keep it running. You're still young so it's easy to lose the weight it gets harder as you get older.

Good Luck!

That's what an online BMI calculator says about you:

>BMI = 32.92 kg/m2 (Obese Class I)
>Normal BMI range: 18.5 - 25
>Normal BMI weight range for the height: 101.1lbs - 136.7 lbs
>You will need to loss 43.3 lbs to reach a BMI of 25

You're plain obese. Don't drink anything else then water, plain coffee or tee without sugar. Restrict yourself to 3 meals a day, no snacks inbetween. You lack sex drive because at that point your body has to work hard just to keep you going through the day with that massive deadweight you're carrying around. I guess at one point you'll want kids. Being obese massively inreases the chance of misscarrying an otherwise healthy baby and lowers your fertility. Lose that damn weight already.

Get husbando to be hotter. Getting fit.
Also if he would be more dominant and masculine in relationship, that could probably fix your problem.

Just help him get there.

You should go to the gym. Not for weight loss or anything but training raises your sex drive.

Stop / start taking birth control or change type / brands.

Just google birthcontrol and sexual appetite. Happy reading. Also pic related.

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Jesus. The absolute state of women

You mean fat?
Just loose weight and you'll sex drive will return. It's mother nature telling you shouldn't have kids because of obesity and miscarriage ratio

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Reeeeee fat?!

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Could be the weight, those extra pounds tire you down, I would know, I was only at a BMI of 26 and shit slowed me and took my energy. I have a lot more ernergy since I lost weight.

Could also be BC if you're on it. That also stole my libido, when I went off it it was like I was 17 again, I get horny all the time.

Might be a combination of both.

1. you're fat
2. riding your bike 10 miles a day doesn't mean shit, it hardly burns off a few hundred calories
3. you have to not eat like shit, that all it is

Sex is more active than cleaning and cooking, and clearly you have a flat bike route. You aren't doing enough physical activity.

Also, what are you cooking? Clearly not enough vegetables.

you should get the picture by now. But just to be sure that you don't ignore the advices here as "fat people hate", remember that you do more harm to your body by being obese than you could do by taking many other illegal drugs.
And no, you are not fat. you are not chubby and you are not curvy. you suffer under the medical condition called obesity. And you should do something about it right now.
not for your boyfriend. not for simple sex. do it for you.
being not-obese will make your life better in every way.
doesnt matter where you are right now, or in ten years or fifty years. you will enjoy it more if you are not obese.
Jow Forums is a good _starting_point, btw.

>thinking a fat woman will take responsibility for her actions
Not gonna happen

Checked, based fresco poster.

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