I've been with my partner for 7 years. Everything is 100% fine, except when he brings up one of his fetishes: cuckolding.
Yes, he wants me to cuckold him. I've said no several times; casual sex is not my thing. I don't want to give another guy pleasure, or to let him see my cum face. Despite my absolute refusals, my partner tries to make concessions, e.g "it'll be OK if he uses a condom, it's like you're using a toy" or "just put a bag over your head so he doesn't see your face".
I know I would never enjoy a cuckolding experience, but when I deny him I feel like such a villain because he goes sad and somewhat sulky on me.
He doesn't bring up cuckolding very often, maybe once every 6 months. But when he does I feel so disgusted at the idea it makes me shut down mentally, I can't even face seeing him.
Do you want him to suppress it for the rest of the time he's with you?
Jason Allen
So what's the solution?
Indulge him, or leave him?
Jackson Thompson
Depends, his fetish might stem from a number of things. By giving in you might cause more damage than good. You could also finally satisfy something he's been longing for.
Colton Roberts
Simple. Tell him no and never bring it up again, or do it. But if he really wants it and you really don't, you guys are not compatible.
Jaxon Cook
>when I deny him I feel like such a villain because he goes sad and somewhat sulky on me. and this happens because you disagree to do something you consider disgusting. This is a clear case of emotional manipulation, his desperate attempt. and this is where you go wrong - instead of feeling bad about yourself, as he intends you to, you should get angry a him. why the fuck doesn't he respect your wishes?
Zachary Bennett
Can't say I'm an expert here in any way, would never consider even saying something like that as a joke, but as far as I understand it myself, this desire comes from some sort of deep insecurity, feeling of inadequacy. Moreover, this is likely caused by porn consumption (which I can't say is always bad, but in large amounts can lead to some seriously messed up fetishes).
What I would recommend is definitely not to indulge it, especially seeing as this is not your cup of tea. He most likely needs your help here, but I am not sure if it can be helped.
Do what you can, especially if you really love this person, only you can help and not judge. Just don't be harsh on him here, otherwise it will just go into hiding, and he'll get more and more obsessed over it. You can buy some sex toys and roleplay these scenarios, so it gets him off the edge and you don't need to bring other people in. Over time, try to find some over fetishes that could excite both of you, and take his mind off it. Can be femdom, public sex, roleplay, whatever it is you yourself might enjoy.
But if it gets too much, and cuckolding becomes an obsession - then you'll probably need to get out. Sorry, but that's how it is.
Colton Perry
There's no helping people like him, he needs to get dumped ASAP. But OP most likely isn't gonna do it, because she's weak willed like most women.
Jayden Peterson
>incel detected
Samuel Hernandez
>as I understand it myself, this desire comes from some sort of deep insecurity, feeling of inadequacy. Moreover, this is likely caused by porn consumption I completely disagree. it is just one of human mating strategies, used by any social species. It's a nature's call for him, not degeneracy.
are you a niceguy or something
Joseph Butler
>it is just one of human mating strategies, used by any social species. I've never heard of this, which species do this other than humans? Preferably something similar to humans
Aaron Lopez
Natural call!?!
Yeah lets diminish my chances of her having my children. Thats gonna spread my dna for sure.
Dude basic biology n shit? Did you miss that in school?
John Thomas
Leave him. This will only end up in one of two ways. You give in and fuck someone else. Pretty fucking up the relationship. Or you stay with this feeling that you are holding him back. His fetish is an unhealthy one. I wouldn't be surprised if in time you start to resent him for pretty much being weak. You sound like the sort that wants to be loyal, but men like this only sour that.
If you really want, you have to stand your ground and tell him that you aren't comfortable with it and he should respect your decision to keep intimacy between the two of you. Maybe is he's a cuck he wpuld also be a weak bitch you might be able to control.
Michael Cox
You need to give him an ultimatum. Either he accepts the answer is now and forever will be no and he is to never ask you again or else you're leaving.
Don't give in because it's going to cause so many problems for both of you.
Zachary Morgan
No, I'm not a nice guy, incel maybe. What I said is true though her bf has a serious problem with a clear answer (dump him) and yet she comes here hoping someone will tell her that he can change. She's weak.
Jacob Harris
>it is just one of human mating strategies, used by any social species. It's a nature's call for him, not degeneracy. You could have just said "I'm a cuck too don't hurt my feelings >.
Sebastian Morales
This And giving in will kill the love almost guaranteed
Ryan Hill
As far as I know only the cuckoo bird. But they don't get sexual pleasure from watching their mates get fucked by others, they do this weird thing where they switch around their eggs so most of the time all the males are raising another male's chicks. It's not the same as this fetish, it's a mental illness just like liberalism.
Oliver Russell
A woman staying true to her ultimatum, don't make laugh. She's too weak for something like that. The moment she made this thread she already lost.
Jason Cox
Yep. If he isn't going to respect your feelings why are you wasting your time?
Joshua Miller
>And giving in will kill the love almost guaranteed There is no almost. The second you do it the relationship becomes nothing but a "I fulfill this guy's fetish" FWB thing.
You should probably just leave.
Elijah Sanchez
did she?
Ian Foster
I don't know who hurt you but I'm sorry they did and I know you deserve better.
Are you a liberal by any chance?
Nathaniel Baker
OP look into buying a sex machine. There like $500 on Amazon for a decent one. It's basically like getting fucked in front of him.
Jonathan Jones
any mammals, really. any great apes, wolves. any specie with a hierarchical members structure. The alpha has access to all of the females, but he can't be everywhere at the same time. So the instant he goes away from a female after successful copulation, some other, weaker male appears and tries to copulate with her asap. This gives better protection to his child, as the alpha is likely to consider the child his. More importantly though, it's the weaker male's one of the few possibilities to ever get any offspring at all. this is why they get so turned on by their potential mate getting mercilessly pounded by a big, strong male - they need to act quickly right after he's gone.
Ever wondered why is male's penis shaped like that? it makes it a great tool to get rid of the other male's sperm.
cuckoo has literally nothing to do with it
am not. I still studied biology tho
Carter Myers
I admit I'm weak because I'd rather not leave him unless it is 100% the best thing to do. I am however absolutely not weak enough to give in and let another person violate me just so he can get his kicks. There is no way in hell I'd let that happen.
I like the ultimatum though. If he brings it up again we'll just have to accept we're not right for each other. It all depends on how desperate he is to carry out his desire, though.
Thanks all for your input.
Noah Price
Yeah basically I mean, I've never heard of a three way relationship that doesn't crash and burn, cuckolding is probably given an even shorter lease
Leo Morales
Don't look too far into it, I'm a piece of shit that doesn't deserve love. So don't fucking pity me I'm not OP I don't need to be coddled for being weak.
Gavin Brooks
I bet you have an anime Facebook profile picture, or even better, no Facebook at all because it's for 'sheeple'
Lincoln King
It's not gonna do it. He wants it to be another man because he wants it to be humiliating. A glorified dildo isn't humiliating. He's mentally ill and needs help.
>cuckoo has literally nothing to do with it ...that's literally where the word cuckold comes from. Also, they're trying to get the strong ones sperm out and replace it with their own. They're not enjoying watching it, they know if they interviewed they'll be killed and they're ready to swoop in to sabatoge any pregnancy, hoping it will be their kids instead
A human cuck jerks off watching it happen and wants the dude to impregnate her and know that the kids aren't his. Many cucks won't fuck their wives at all. This isn't a mating strategy
Nathan Myers
No you're not. I'm a 5'6" boy faced Manlet with no money who has panic attacks if I'm too far away from mommy. I have a GF who keeps bringing up marriage and I forced myself to go to an out of state grad school.
You're not broken.
Jeremiah Harris
I have no one to add for that reason alone social media means nothing to me.
Liam Rogers
Honestly I'm not at all surprised.
Jeremiah Edwards
Never said I was, being alone and rejected since childhood made me strong, I pity your situation user I wish you the best weak people like you will need it.
Brandon Turner
Social media is for weak people anyway.
Easton Rivera
>that's literally where the word cuckold comes from true, but it's not about the cuckoo species, but the ones that get tricked by it into raising it's offspring. it's the other species that become cuckolds.
>They're not enjoying watching it, they do. it's just a biological "trap" - those who enjoyed it, would look around for it and watch the performance of strong males mounting females. They wouldn't go away exactly because they liked it. and furthermore got turned on (which is why they liked it, btw). Those who originally mutated to feel this way were likely enough to successfully reproduce after the alpha was gone, that their genes survived. Those who didn't like it would go away or at least not ever get interested and thus wouldn't get their genes further into the evolutionary line. (unless they had yet another, working strategy, of course)
so why wouldn't a male cuck fuck at all? a couple possibilities - spontaneous mutations, masturbation (making them trick their organisms into thinking their copulation has occurred), psychological issues much stronger than sex drive (which I find pretty likely), underdeveloped positive feedback from their reproductory system (this one is a bit more complicated. it comes from the fact that animals aren't born with full instruction what they should do in life, but rather are guided by pleasure. So a young male follows females because he likes their smell or sounds they make. When he gets close, he wants to smell the pussy and later bite the neck - it secretes even more nice smells. When he's already on top of her, it's likely their genitals will touch and another pleasure will guide them through the copulation itself. a cuckold may be not perceptive enough to close this pleasure circuit in the first place)
Juan Torres
I have no social media because it's just become a platform for people to spout toxicity without owning up to it in real life I got rid of mine because I was tired of seeing people use it to say things they were too pussy to say in real life, and I just had no reason to have this platform around that just made me dislike people I knew
Social media is not that important unless you're advertising a home business, in which case it's critical
William Russell
>They wouldn't go away exactly because they liked it No dumb fuck, they need to run in to dig out the cum the SECOND the big dude is gone, they're waiting for their chance.
David Turner
>Cuck desperately tries to justify his mental illness by insisting he knows how animals feel
Jace Ramirez
user, if you're no comfortable with it, there's nothing to be done really other than be firm.
Next time he brings it up, be definitive and ignore his attempts to persuade you. Something final like, "I have told you repeatedly the idea of casual sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable. I do not mind accommodating your sexual needs, but this is out of my boundaries. Please stop asking about it, my answer is no."
He should respect your choice. It sucks for him, but relationships are about compromise and he shouldn't expect you to do something that makes you this uncomfortable, it's pretty selfish.