OWOWWW FUCK FUCK HOW DO I FIX THIS POL OH MY GOD I DONT HAVE FREE HEALTHCARE SO I CANT GET IT OUT WITHOUT SELLING...

Jews did this.

I trapped my finger in a van door last year. Here's what you've got to look forward to when your nail falls off.

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Grow a pair and pliar it out then heat a needle until it's red hot each time to remove any remaining splinters.

At least you weren't beheaded

That looks painful, but straightforward. You need tweezers, isopropyl alcohol or another desinfectant, and band aids. Pull the splinter out with the tweezers, get all of it out. Douse the finger with disinfectant. Then put a band aid over the hole to prevent dirt getting in.

If you were not insured and went to a doctor here, you'd spend under $50 total. But in freedom land where prices can reach infinite heights because the demnd is always there, it's probably not under $100.

>tweezers
pliers

Yes, and band aids are plasters, I know.
I was tought BBC English in school, but I'm talking to an American.

tweezers aren't pliers though, tweezers are too weak to pull that out, you need pliers

Oh, all right. I thought pliers were more of a craft tool, and the splinter seemed small to me. Main thing is you get a good grip on the small part that's sticking out.

urgent care is usually $60 - $200 for routine shit like this without insurance

I stubbed my big toe nail on a stair case. Knocked it clean off, except for a bit of skin. Luxuries of walking around barefoot in modern structures.

Don't be such a pussy just chop off the tip of your finger problem solved. Easy fix.

/thread
kill yourself shill rat

>SELLING ANOTHER MORTGAGE
lol you are still on your parent's plan, don't worry about it.

>any sign of infection and you go to the ER.
Just open it up and clean in the fuck out.

you're just joking op but this kind of thing is real
my brother had and sebaceous cyst on his shoulder and since we dont have healthcare, i helped him drain it
it seemed like the obvious course of action at the time and it wasn't until later that i realized how backwards it is for citizens of the most powerful nation in human history to perform ghetto surgery on themselves

No long after I broke my hand beating the shit out of some pakis that threw a snowball at me and had to have a my middle metacarpal screwed back together. I regret nothing.

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Holy fuck you boomers, cmon. It’s a fucking joke thread.

Pay 6 gorillion dolalrs please

Lee fucking love socialists

Weak shilling. I’ve treated this same injury at home and didn’t lose the nail or even have any scarring. Maybe stop being a pansy who needs a government provided doctor for every little boo boo and learn how to tie your own sutures.

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I actually had this happen to me when I was in 2nd grade. I jumped over the edge of a piece of wooden playground equipment during a game of tag. On my way down, my hand slid against the side of the equipment, and a large splinter went under my right thumbnail and snapped off. Later that day I was taken to the doctor. He and 2 nurses had to hold me still while the doctor pulled it out and proceeded to scrape everything under my thumbnail with a tweezer. Sucked, but I pretended it hurt so bad the next few days that I got to stay home from school and play video games.

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This.

Probably clip the nail back a little and get as much grip as possible with pliers. If you don't get enough grip and accidentally break off the tip, you'll have to dig and it'll be extremely painful/damaging.

You can always go to a minute clinic. They’re much cheaper than a hospital.

If you have a friend you trust or it's not your dominant hand that the shard is lodged in, use a drill on the part where the shard doesn't show on your nail CAREFULLY to release the pressure, then use a dremel tool to peel away the nail so you can retrieve the whole thing at once. I wouldn't trust pliers to remove that all at once without leaving traces behind.
But I really said that for any user that might encounter the same problem because this picture is old, doesn't apply to you, and you're a faggot.

>going to clinic for this

Tweezers

Mashed my finger in a car door when I was a kid. That pain didn’t lose intensity for at least 2 days. Used a screw to drill holes into my nail to relieve pressure from the built up blood. Oh boy, the fingernail falling off is the best part, because all those nerves that had protected from everything for over a decade became exposed for 2-3 weeks. I’ll take a splinter over that shit again any day

OHHHH FUCK FUCK FUCK HOW DO I FIX THIS POL OH MY GOD I DONT HAVE FREE CARCARE SO I CAN'T GET IT FIXED WITHOUT CUTTING BACK ON FAST FOOD AND WEED

WHY THE FUCK WON'T THE GOVERNMENT PAY FOR MY CAR

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I sliced my balls into little pieces, then i fed them to my grandmother. Boy was she surprised. Worst summer ever. Dont recommend.

One time, at band camp, I dropped my newborn baby on my already stubbed toe.