Can I get some guidance here?
>On school trip as a teacher in the U.S
>Split costs with other teacher by half
>Get caught with a local girl in my hotel room (young and dumb)
>When confronted, other teacher asks if I was high/drunk and if she was a prostitute
>She asks again in the same conversation
>A few hours later she wakes me up and asks again if she was a prostitute
>Next day refers to her as a "street-walker"
>Demanded that I pay the full share for the cost of the trip claiming I went on the trip just for sex
>Department chair agreed I should pay money back
Does this constitute sexual harassment? I fear that if I dont pay the money back the senior teacher will make it difficult to interact with other teachers, my department head will more harshly assess me, etc.
Can I get some guidance here?
honestly this sounds like you're getting blackmailed, I doubt you paying up now will really fix anything in the long run
if you have the balls, talk to the department chair one on one, explain the situation calmly, and try to understand why he thinks you should pay for this (which to me makes no sense whatsoever)
you can attempt to convince him that it was no harm no foul
it's a shit situation but like I said, I don't think paying up will really fix it; by paying up you also sort of confirm to them that the girl was a prostitute
I have a meeting tomorrow with my department chair about the incident. While overseas I did not have celluar access, and utilized whatever spotty wifi I could manage. After being caught (co-worker alledged she would injure me if there was a girl in my room) my coworker called the principal and when they did not pick up informed the department head. I still seem to have my job right now, I could have been fired with no incident immediately since I have no due-process worker rights yet. Just trying to keep all legal avenues available should I need to defend myself so that I am not dismissed with an impacted record.
I just don't understand why this is being made a big deal of desu
you had sex with some woman in your private room...?! and ? she wasn't a student, you didn't rape anyone...wtf ? and wtf is wrong with your co-worker to say shit like that like she'd "injure" you if there was a grill in your room, she's not your fucking keeper, what's it to her
either I'm missing something or this is some kafka shit right here
did you get an idea of why this is considered so horrible or are they just being sanctimonious because MUH EDUCATION THINK OF TEH CHILDREN
anyway, you could do some research into a lawyer maybe, someone who knows the legal bounds to someone being fired or so; I can't imagine this would be legal in a sane country, and then they might want to avoid the media scandal, being a school and all; ofc it wouldn't do you any favors but they also don't want to be "that school where teachers sleep around 24/7 this is what REALLY goes on during school trips parents beware [...]"
but don't hint at this tomorrow, be calm, explain what happened, if they're not a degenerate, the dept chair won't make a big deal of it and probably just wants to shut up your psycho co-worker in some way (this you could hint gently about)
Either pay the money or risk your career. This all happened because you couldn't keep your dick in your pants on a business trip. You're going to have a real hard time convincing anyone that you're being sexually harassed.
I have some fault in the incidient. I lied to my co-worker about being sick to avoid going to dinner to get some private time in the hotel because I knew all the students would be gone. Which was fine, until I was enjoying it too much snoozed my alarm and kept pumping away. They arrived back at the hotel and were outside my room playing cards etc. I couldn't ask my co-worker for assistance because I feared this type of reaction. I have paid into a legal defense fund. I guess I could shoot the questions over to a lawyers office and test the waters there.
I don't mind risking my career as long as it does not impair future job prospects. Being a teacher is great, but its very stressful for lowish pay. I'd much rather transition to another government job but would fail a polygraph test.
yea ok, not the most responsible thing to do on your side but desu it's a dumb reaction to trick you into paying for the trip for whatever reason; how would that help with anything?
best thing to do tomorrow, again, calm, objective and to the point, what happened, try to understand why they are upset, empathize, admit it was irresponsible (after they've explained their side), and try to settle it then and there; avoid involving your dumb co-worker and settle things with the dept chair, their opinion matters way more and there's a good chance they simply caved under the rage of your co-worker and they couldn't just brush it off in their face, so try playing that angle
Tough one OP
If the trip was legitimate you shouldn't have to pay a cent regardless of whether your actions were improper or not
You could always argue "the incident occurred outside of working hours and was entirely unrelated to my occupation, my coworker seriously invaded my privacy by making public details of my personal life. My trip was for (x reason), which was entirely legitimate-which was why it was aprooved. Since the trip was a productive one and all professional goals were met I would resist the sujesion a refund should be made as it would come from a personal-not a professional objection.
...but obviously they don't see it that way, so clearly it would only make things worse
If your department head already made a ruling it seems like you can't do much.
How were you "caught"
If you had a private room?
What I'm sure of
A. Your coworker has a personal issue with you, otherwise they wouldn't push it
B. When a dept. Head decides something without a formal process arguing is a direct chalenge to their authority.
I would ignore the coworker, and take the department head as side for a bit of mano-el-mano.
"Look boss can I lay it out, this is a personal matter between me and my coworker- I met a local girl at a bar and that was all there is to it. I apologise if it was unprofessional of me to do that on a work trip but at the time I didn't see it as relevant. Do you want me to be single? I have a life and so do all the other teachers. My coworker is spreading rumours about me which just arnt true which isnt really professional either. I just want this whole thing closed so we can go back to doing our work normally"
Appealing TO the head rather than AGAINST the head seems like the best play
The trip was basically: For every x students one adult chaperone goes free. We didn't have enough to get both free, but she invited me to go with her and we split the costs between the two of us. If I wasnt for me, she could have gone free. Also there was no working hours. For the entire duration of the trip I was technically classified as the parents of the children on the trip. Even if I had a private room, I wasn't exactly quiet. While waiting for the students to go back to sleep I kept playing albeit as silent as I could. I could keep in mind the relationship thing, ignoring the bar aspect of it. I didn't intend to long-term abandon students. They all had supervision. I just lied about what I was going to do to a coworker and then did something salacious.
the fuck, why should you pay extra for anything? tell her to fuckoff.
give your coworker the d
she just jelly
Someone brought up the point that its blackmail, I am pretty short-sighted in this regard so I thank them for it.
Shes a christ-fag but a hard-working coworker. Will only regret not being able to bro up with her husband. hes a cool navy guy that has a bunch of different interests.
since thread is still alive OP, please post follow-up after your meeting
by now I'm curious desu
>so I thank them for it
awww :3
although that I've thought about it and you explained the money thing, I think I understand her reaction; from her point of view it's like this:
she could've had a free trip, and this way she had to pay some money so you could also join, and she probably saw it as doing you a favor (which it probably was really, at least meant to be); so now she thinks she got screwed over, you just payed a bit of money to have a vacation all to yourself, getting prostitutes, dumping the kids on her back so you could have some fun at her expense
so that's why she wants you to pay, because she feels she got screwed over
if that's the case and the dept chair feels the same, it's a more difficult situation to handle because you'd have to convince them that you didn't just dump the kids on her back so you could get laid...which..y'know ya kinda did but yea it was just that one night
>tfw feel like 12 angry men
Ohhhhh.
Now I get it, the kids found out and you were there as a designated supervisor...
So a combination of "asleep at the wheel" and "questionable moral influence"
Yep you dun goofed.
It's not THAT bad, but it's not good.
Write a letter to the dept. Head apologising for your lapse in judgement and pay the costs- compared to your career it's not so much.
Make the apology really short and to the point, don't offer any clarification or details as the letter will go on record so verifying any details might come back later on.
Then tell the dept. Head that you learned the hard way and don't want to cause further disruption-and that while you understand your coworker is angry you are concerned she will perpetuate the issue to the detriment of all concerned-even after the issue is formally settled
If there is no chance to ruin your future job prospect then fuck it I'd keep lying. But if theres a chance it could fuck you over in the long run then paying the whole thing isn't so bad when you're thinking long term.
Banging bitches on a school trip? Lol
Epic fail.
desu the school will never be in your favour
If you want a winning chance, bring it up to court. The arguments for you are pretty sound, as what your coworker demanded was highly illogical and emotion-fuelled
Test post
>suING your employer
Yea good idea dumbass, best way to never get employed again
Even if you are right no sane employer would hire an employee who launched a suit