GIOYC general

Just your typical oneitis. I don't want her for any other man, but it's unrequited love, so I'm not sure how to move on, no other girl has caught my eye the way she did. I don't feel enough for her, and I feel lonely.

I have a tendency to carry a lot of cash, because when I use plastic, I use all my money. I was thinking about getting a lock box, but most of the ones I found *I* would be able to pick open and then relock. Seems someone who steals all the time would be even better at it than me. It's just so frustrating. My instinct for who to trust is so off so constantly.

>be 5'0"
>4.5"x~5" (erect) penis
>have an ugly face
>be untalented
>be ADHD so unable to gain skills fast because I am always distracted
>be a fat ass
>be socially retarded and unable to hold meaningful conversations

>You're probably wondering why I'm approaching you... Well, let's just say I'm attracted to you like a fly is attracted to shit.

>If I had to pick an emoji to describe you, it would be the poo emoji.

>Hand them a napkin that says: Nice shit babe. Barely cross out "shit" and write shirt underneath it.

>Ask if their perfume is essence of Cacō which is latin for defecation.

The thought of growing old makes me so fucking sick. I better die young.

>Your skin is a white as a porcelain toilet

I'm fucking sick of modern feminists and how awful they are to date. I just want to date a woman who doesn't make everything about sexism, racism, inequality, the patriarchy, white male privilege, etc. Sometimes things are just fine. The world is not always being threatened by white men and our unforgivable privilege. And they always have ugly piercings, tattoos, and wear brightly colored wigs and cartoonish makeup(which is covering up their horrible skin).
But wholesome girls who just enjoy life and 'murica without losing their minds over "injustice" tend to be religious and boring.
I just want a wholesome girl who isn't religious, annoying or boring and has an actual personality and interests rather than causes and political affiliations masquerading as a personality.

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So what the fuck is your issue?

You wonder why I don't talk to you. Because you never fucking say anything back. Ever. And for the longest time all you would do is give me the shittiest fucking looks. If it's because of the meds, maybe (just maybe) you shouldn't fucking be torturing me. You had to have known what they were doing to me. You had to have known that I was being ignored at best and at worst they were purposefully trying to make me miserable when I would see a psychiatrist. You had to have known that no one was listening to me, that no one was trying to help me.

Even now I'm completely on my own for acquiring the things I need and even worse is that you guys are giving me a shit ton of push-back. And if it's you doing the poisoning, please stop. Just fucking stop poisoning me. I don't know why you people don't listen to me.

I can only assume it's because you legit hate me. I can't imagine someone would be able to do this to their own child. Like, what the fuck.

If I could earn my own money, I would. If I was allowed to leave, I would. If I could end this, I would. What the fuck do you expect me to do here?

(BTW, you have plenty. I knew you had to plenty. I don't know if you let me do it on your own or if they forced you to. You've always been pretty stingy with shit so I don't know. I don't know. Though, you still give me shit looks or flat out ignore me so I can get an idea that you don't give a fuck about me.)

Saaaame

Think about getting a safe deposit box at a bank then. That's the safest place.

>You are so reLAXATIVE

>I know I've seen that shade of brown in your eyes somewhere.

PTSD and depression have destroyed who I was completely. I can't even cry anymore. I can't read as much as I used to. I don't really enjoy things anymore, even one I used to love before the trauma. How can I cheer myself up, I don't know.

I am so happy and simultaneously terrified right now. Being with my boyfriend makes me so incredibly happy, but I'm so afraid he is going to wise up and leave me soon. I know he likes me too, but I definitely like him more than he likes me. I miss him if I haven't seen him for a couple days. It almost hurts if I don't get to talk to him. Which happens more often than I like because we have opposite schedules a lot. We both have been losing out on quite a bit of sleep so we can spend time together, but this can't go on for much longer. It's little too soon for me to say it out loud, but I really love him.

I am so sick of getting stomped on by shitty people. Me and my mother have been lately moving around from place to place due to lack of money, and we're now getting kicked out from our current place just because the woman's husband feels like it. The guy doesn't live there, neither of us pose any problem, we buy our own food, clean up the place, etc., and still this shit happens. He didn't even give a reason. It could always be worse, yeah, but god damn is this frustrating.

being a shitty person that actively tries to ruin other peoples' lives is apparently the way to have a good life.

Meanwhile, just wanting to be left alone and minding your own business is a guaranteed way to get those shitty fucking assholes to ruin your life.

I gave too much and you all took too much. I just want to be left alone. I want my meds, a place to stay to do my work, and to be left the fuck alone.

Just leave me alone. Just let me be. Fuck all of you.

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stop
fucking
poisoning
me

You're not a good friend. You hurt me a lot.

Believed it or not I'm a woman (probably double your age and also have a family), and I agree. "Intersectional" feminism is a plague. Everywhere I go there's always the same rhetoric, always the same talks about bullshit like wage gap, slutshaming, abortion being glorified and all that. I was a teenager before Obama got into office and things were more balanced, and beautiful. Nothing more beautiful than appreciating the natural differences between females and males, nothing more beautiful than advertisements with a tall, blonde couple with kids smiling, hell even all black families portrayed looked wholesome and nice. Those were maybe around the last years where those things were the norm. Now it's all chaos. Now it's all about representation instead of an ideal, it's all politicized and gray. The notions of sexual differences have been erased in the common culture, heck even trans toddlers are everywhere on National Geographic.
I know what I experienced were the last years of that era and the slippery slope was well oiled. But I miss it. Feminism gives me anxiety.
I hope we'll fix it, user.

initials?

if you dont want to talk to me anymore please just say so.

i just started too many thing and i am being overwhelmed before some even start

I wish I could gift my life to someone who would truly appreciate and use it to it's gullies instead of being wasted with me.
Of all the billion sperms, I had to be the lucky one. I wonder how many of my brothers or sisters would have use this life way better than me, I truly wish I could trade my life with one of them, I don't deserve this life.

Only gf I ever had and first love of 8+ years breaks my heart through text and refused to give me closure and ghosted me. Improved myself over time. Feeling shitty because I notice the dating culture and people just want hook-ups and sleeping around. I prefer to bond with an individual and build something with them so it can become long term.

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>I don't feel enough for her
What do you mean?

You want him to be your leader? He's fucking insane.

Science and progress
Cannot speak as loud as my heart.

Im quitting my job saturday. Its shit work, with shit hours and shit pay. (6 day night shift, 11.75 an hour), im going back to temp jobs until i can find something that actully gives me a chance to live my life. Im simultaneously afraid and ecstatic since this is my first full time job and I've never quit before. I know ill be fine with a combo of my last check and remaining cash in the bank for a few months before im really screwed. Im going to spend sunday killing a bottle of liqour by myself before i go on the pilgrimage to find a new job.

Secret

this relationship is one sided. everything has to be about you and when its not you dont even try to care. i go out of my way to make sure you are ok, but when it comes to my needs you arent around. as long as you are getting what you want everything is fine in your world. any time there is a difficult conversation that needs to happen, you shut down and refuse to do it. i love you and i care about you but i cannot do this anymore. partially because it is exhausting and frustrating for me, and partly because i cannot enable you to continue acting this way. you need some tough love and some honesty for your own sake.

Initials to whom and from whom

I wish I could just say what I've been meaning to say for years, but I've never mustered the courage to.

Sorry, I meant "I don't feel like I'm enough for her". Skinny, still studying, insecure, no money.

My mom is a serious narcissist and I was guilted into this trip with her. She’s already made the effort to cry for no reason while facing the entire restaurant (she always has to have the seat that faces everyone). I put a twenty dollar bill on the table and walked out. Like there is something really mentally wrong with her and I am scared it’s in me and I wish I wasn’t related to her at all and I don’t know how to get away. All my life I’ve run away and put myself in dangerous situations just to get away from her. She’s lazy, selfish, and domineering and god I don’t want to be like her please let me change!

Still wishing my friend would break up with her boyfriend and spend more time with me.

You can't even say it here?

I can, but it wouldn't be the same thing, would it?

I'm still hurting over a rejection that happened 4 years ago. I've been unable to trust anyone since.

Im falling out of love with my wife.
Shes let her self go and im training for a triathlon.
We keep going towards opposite poles.
I used to be a drunken mess when we fell in love and now ive cleaned up and am trying to rid myself of bad habits and she is stagnant no ambitions, passions, or anything.
I love here but I can see a day in the near future where I just wake up and look at her and say I dont like being with you at all. I havent reach that point yet but fuck. I look at all the couples at my gyms that work out together and whenever I have worked out with her she just complains and complains and when I am with her I try and give her control bc I know shes just starting out but 2 min into anything she just complains. I usually end up paying the gym for a non existing member as well. Im ok with feeling lonely but it just feels like shes keeping me from my full potential bc she doesnt really help me get rid of the bad habits I kind of have to look like the bad guy who eats super healthy blah blah blah.

I’ll admit, that’s sorta charming.

Why did you even touch me? You know there’s fire for you there. You touched me. I felt you.

Why? Because last night I masturbated to you and I came five times in a row, thinking about you.

Right after you rejected me.

Is it good or bad?

I want to expose my lying cheating bitch of an ex but I don’t want her to kill herself, I just want to make her feel the pain she made me feel

Alright then. Guess I have nothing better to do.

I feel like I'm a failure and a burden to everyone. I've never told anyone about my depression except for strangers on the internet. I've tried going to the gym, writing in a journal, playing video games, etc. but nothing like that seems to help. The only things that do help is smoking, drinking, and harming myself. I feel so alone but at the same time, I feel like I deserve this pain. I feel like it's my fault I'm like this. I'm a burden on the world, I'm a violent person, I feel like one day, without any warning I'm gonna one day just kill everyone. It's happened before in my dreams, in my dreams I'll wake up from my bed (in the dream) and grab a weapon and start killing people. Sometimes when my mind is wandering and I'm bored, I'll have a violent daydream just like in the dreams I have when I'm sleeping. I'll be zoned out into space for a few minutes of just killing people in my head. But I don't wanna do that. I don't wanna kill people. If I killed myself, everyone would be safe from me, they wouldn't have to worry about me going on a killing spree, I wouldn't make them feel depressed like me, and the entire world would benefit from my death.

I feel you, user.

if your going to ignore me then tell me you dont want anything to do with me anymore then ill never bother you again. but that wouldnt work well for you would it? your friends might abandon you again and if im not here then who would you talk to when noone else is left? im just a string along arnt I. but you would never tell me that.

I still need a volunteer to teach me the ways of the lady pleasing. Send your resumes to my email please.

I feel like we are both dealing with the same person lol but i can't give mine tough love because I need him too much

Whom to, whom from.

Loser she's an ugly fat cunt and so are you fuck off you cuck.

Be Me, 37 but a real failure in life aka Shit Job and College Drop Out.

I follow this girl on twitter. She's 35 and successful nurse (ADON aka Boss Nurse) and real QT. She says she's not interested in any relationships at all but I don't really get along with anyone else.

I don't know how to disinvest because she's always there and puts up with my Jow Forums tier rantings.

The problem is I know I'm not good enough to have a wife and especially a top tier women like her. I know need to stop being Beta Orbiter but I'm addicted to the feedback.

How does one stop oneitus when you don't have the chance to meet other women and don't really like other women?

>call me a terrible person after you dumped me
>started dating another guy almost immediately
>Tell me you don't want anything to do with me
Why the fuck are you trying to talk to me at work? You hate me I hate you fuck off and leave me alone you stuck up bitch

I have a girl from tinder who is going to come over. Ive met a heap of girls off the app before but hookups always at their place never at mine. She said something about meeting out first to get stuff from a supermarket to make dinner first. Problem is I don't have my license (which I know is a turnoff) and I pretty much just want her to come over, I don't want to run into people I know while I'm with a tinder girl. Would it seem dodgy if I said 'I'm at the shops now what do you want?' or suggest getting uber eats? I'm assuming she wants to meet in public first to make sure I'm not crazy

I think i have always kind of hated my life.

King Arthur had his knights and the round table...

Eve will have her Angels and the Four-Leaf-Clover-Bath, where her and all seven of her angels take a bath together while watching movies and anime.

Yessssssssss. We won't use it EVERY time we bathe but we will make it a movie night. Strawberries, champagne, and bubbles forever.

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I gave my workplace 2 weeks notice today. My supervisor got all pissed that I'm leaving and asked me if I could stay 3 more weeks instead of 2, and I said I could.

I always have so much anxiety about these things. I know that my coworkers are going to be asking me about my departure, and being the center of attention like that makes me really uncomfortable. I am dreading these last few weeks.

And the worst part about it is that the main reason I am leaving this job is due to my social anxiety. I have an opportunity for a more solitary job with less social interaction and thats where I'm headed. That isn't the only reason I'm leaving my current job, but it is the biggest reason. I hate myself for letting my social anxiety get the best of me and I kind of feel like I am running away from my problems, but the stress of this current job has been killing me for the past 5 or 6 months.

You plan on just quitting on the spot? No notice?

i want to transition to become a girl but i also want to stay as a feminine boy. if i stay as a boy i’d be perceived as a feminine boy, but if i became a girl i’d be perceived as a masqeline one since there is only so much plastic surgery and hrt can do.

I want a home. I want a family. I want people I can rely on, people that have my back. People that won't lie to me or laugh at me or tease me. I want people that will listen and be there when I need them.

and I want to be there for them and have them trust me. I want them to value my opinion and help them when I can. I want them to wait for me. I want them to want to have me around and not exclude me from everything.

I want to pamper them and be pampered. I want to cook them food and get them nice gifts. I want to paint them, they are all so incredibly pretty.

I want everyone to get along and want to spend time with one another. I want everyone to be close and open. I want us all to be comfortable with being alone with any one of us. I want to be able to work through any arguments and not have any animosity among our family. I don't want to hear any one being mean or plotting. I know there will be times we will argue, but please please be nice to one another. We can have something here that is truly special and great.

I want to go home.

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9-10 years... I think it's time to let it go. I'm so hurt. I'll always care about you tho.

Finally found a job today and thought that I had hit rock bottom and that now everything was going to start turning around, but it turns out the job was awful and I quit on the first day. I feel like I've been bamboozled and that I'm still at rock bottom and it's never going to get better. I'm really starting to lose hope and honestly want to just give up. I feel like I'm being punished but I don't know what I've done wrong in my life.

really wanted to hang with someone that was super important back in the day today but got in a funk with everything happening lately.

also I feel like I'm gonna blow a really important relationship that maybe we could bring back if old feelings for her come back. what if I meet her and she's even more beautiful now? what if I meet her and we just pick up where we left off? what if we meet and I act like a fucking idiot because I'm in this weird emotional spot? pretty sure she's got a guy in the first place.

but then what if we meet and it's all cool, and she's single, and.... that's thinking way too far ahead.

FUCK WHAT YOU DID TO ME E, THIS SHIT ISN'T ME. MY MIND IS FULL OF FUCK.

I.
I want to see an Asian woman's vagina, but in real life.

II.
I've finally realized that I don't need to be right or wrong about the things I'm feeling. We're in a relationship and have been for a few years, but I don't feel the same way I used to. I've been too chickenshit to tell you that everytime you ask if we're still OK. I just keep saying yeah it's fine because you always ask when we're in the middle of doing something and the idea of breaking up with you right then and there would be really unwise and shitty. The idea driving to your place and having you come out of the house, I know you're going to already know what it's about, and I fucking hate that. I honestly wish you would cheat on me with one of those boys that talk to you just so I don't have to be the one to break up with you again. I don't know what I'm going to do after I break up with you, because I don't have anyone. I have fucking no one. I don't want anyone, I like solitude, but when I am going to want someone, I'm going to be horny and lonely as fuck. But I've grown since then, and I should man up and talk to girls more. I've been watching lots of videos about how to man up and talk to girls. I approach strangers daily and try to talk with everyone I can. I'm content with things. I have nothing, yet, I have no room for you and your neediness anymore. Breaking up with you would be the end of our friendship, which is really unfortunate, because you're the only person alive in my sphere who came from Jow Forums and isn't now a complete timewaster or idiot. At the same time, I'm tired of your shit. We started off this relationship with me as a needy little boy who couldn't live without you. Now I'm past that and I want something else, but I still can't perform the mental gymnastics to convince myself that I am justified to break up with you. I'm still waiting for it to click. As far as late bloomers come, I'm one of the worst, I still feel like a child in comparison to people my own age.

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Im sorry. I just love you and care. I try my best to help you as I can, and I don't want you to feel alone, depressed or seclude yourself. I'm always here as I can be for you. I hate that sometimes I can't help. Though I understand. Always know you are loved and valuable to me. When we see each other again, you are always welcome... My home is yours. Don't forget how beautiful you are.

You're a disgusting degenerate piece of shit and I hope your parents disown you

Anxiety really fucked with me a few months ago and I know where you're coming from.

Also, yeah, I did once quit my job, gave 3 weeks at their pleading instead of 2, and then I fucking came back from it 6 months later because I had failed at my aspirations. It's really fucked up and I was anxious as hell but all I can tell you is that you have to face everything and accept everything that comes at you. Check out a dude on youtube named wonderbro or read Hope and Help for Your Nerves. Unless your anxiety is caused by something medical/physiological, this shit will help you.

I think the best thing is that you were able to find a job that suits you and not just full-on quit, move back home, and do nothing. As long as you're doing SOMETHING, I'm proud of you.

Do I not deserve a romantic partner? Am I doomed to always be a failure?

I was very kind to the 2 boys I loved, especially the one I thought was destined my partner for life, but they both ended up hurting me. They joked about sexual topics relating to me and my image of myself was damaged. He lied and tried to separate me from having any other friends, but all he did was break us apart. 5 years, and what was supposed to be an eternity, was gone just like that..

I just want someone to be able to talk genuinely with and have similar interests with. Someone to cuddle while we discuss about the world. I don't want another liar or asshole in my life.. I need someone I can grow close with. Close to the point we can share it all. Many individuals never get the chance at a connection like that in their lifetime, they're all too worried about the small things and I used to be the same way. But I want that person to know they don't need to be scared of me. We can grow as people together.

Yet here I am, alone at home every day and struggling to make a career off my artwork, and just playing videogames to pass the time. Every. Day. Maybe I don't have enough to offer, maybe I'm just invisible. I don't know. I just hope that my future isn't filled with solitude.

that said...

You have repeated "Birds of a feather..." and if that means "Socially awkward, suicidal and depressed" then that is exactly what I imagined the place is for. Girls with issues, girls that need help, helping one another.

However, if it's "Girls with dicks." then... yeah, sorry but count me out. You can bring me to the house because I have a feeling I won't have a choice but I'll just never leave my room. I get that I was born intersex but I'm not gay. I'm into girls and only girls. I'm a lesbian here. I'm ok with them if they have transitioned and rock the right parts but if they don't then... I just can't help it. I'm not into that at-fucking-all.

Which would be a weird way to go with everything since it was suppose to be my world, my wishes, with my fantasy. I hate that you have been trying to push this on me for a year and 7 months now. It's absolutely insane. Especially because you also push the whole "No means No." thing.

I did the same thing as you once, so I get it. I even depleted my savings and my 401k holdings just to pay rent. But also, a friend gave me some pretty sound advice, which is that you should follow the Tarzan Philosophy: you never let go of your vine until you've grasped onto another.

If you're young and healthy, you'll probably be fine, just don't waste your time on drugs or anything else after your Sunday-binge.

You sound like what my current/ex girlfriend probably feels like.

I'm going to make a ton of assumptions about you. If what I say doesn't resonate with you, then don't worry about it. Otherwise, think on this:

I can't speak for whatever that guy did to you, all I can say to you is that you probably need more same-sex friends. I bet you have a ton of talent and are intelligent, but you're not the type who can be motivated all on your lonesome. You probably don't believe in yourself at this point in your life, so having friends will help. If you don't have a "real" job, then you should get one, even if it's only tangentially related to your career, as long as it's something that forces you to be accountable and put your life on a track. You very well might not have enough to offer right now, but that's ok, it just means you're young and need to develop yourself more. I wouldn't worry about any serious relationship right now because you're probably using it as a crutch to get yourself feeling good about yourself. Make more friendships, not more boyfriends.

I don't know, I met two really great girls on twitters, both I considered loves of my life for a period of time. You should go after this girl, and if she isn't interested, then you just sever and move on. It's the only way you'll move on to better things at this point.

Initials to whom and from whom

To whom, from whom

Yes, I can see the wisdom in your advice. You made some pretty decent assumptions. Yet I'm definitely not actively seeking out any boyfriends at this time, I feel that would lead only to more destructive feelings and experiences, so I guess I just haven't healed yet. The way my 5-year relationship ended and all of the things I discovered about my ex has been very, very hard.

I do only have 2 same-sex friends, most of my friends have always been male. But unfortunately getting a 'real job' isn't something I can do right now.

Thank you for reading my vent post anyways. I hope everything is going well for you.

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I've realized all I want to do in life is just surf the internet, play vidya games , and watch movies and being completely alone for the first time in !u life no family or friends is probably the happiest I've been but at the same time the saddest and most empty one minute I'm fine and the next I'm breaking down crying and I don't know why maybe because I've wasted my life maybe out of joy because I don't have to deal with that bitch of a mother I have in the end I just wish I could have meaning in my life

I'm having all sorts of mixed feelings about the girl I want lately. Nothing regarding her specifically, but rather my feelings toward myself. Could I even enter a relationship with her if I swallowed my embarrassment and alpha'd up? Probably actually. Would I be a good boyfriend? Probably not, I have no experience there. I just waste all my time sitting around on vidya when I should be doing things.

I'm seeing her again for the first time in months on Saturday. I'm looking forward to it a lot. But if I somehow managed to enter some form of relationship, would it be worth it? She's going to another state for 6+ months at the end of July. I don't know, I'm just conflicted, and my time is running out.

Best part? I opened a fortune cookie today which had an appropriate message on it.
>Now is the time to pursue that love interest!

They can't abandon me if I abandon them first.

Ayyy lmao

I have feelings for you. Strong feelings.
I don’t know how to hide it and neither how to tell you.

get some friends

You have such a cute glare.

I say yes to your morse code message.

Oh god yes.

I think I'm falling in love with my ex again. She's the only one I felt like I had a real connection with. We're both weebs and love gaming, we can talk about literally anything. Her two boyfriends after me had abused her (I never did) and they forced her to stop talking to me. She says her current boyfriend is cool but I'm not sure how he'd feel about us hanging out all the time, but she told me she feels our connection. I'm going to confess when the time is right, I'd say my odds are about 50/50, counting the fact that she's taken, but I'm also scared that she just thinks we're close friends, nonetheless I'm taking that plunge

>you're not the type who can be motivated all on your lonesome. so having friends will help.
but not a boyfriend, your partner can't be what motivates you, because that is bad
>as long as it's something that forces you to be accountable and put your life on a track
but not a boyfriend, your partner can't be what you're accountable to and what you want to put your life on a track for, because that is bad
>any serious relationship right now because you're probably using it as a crutch to get yourself feeling good about yourself.
but not a job or friends, those aren't crutches, partner can't be a source of you feeling good about yourself, because that is bad
>what my current/ex girlfriend probably feels like

i hate the modern world so goddamn much

Even though it would be extremely, EXTREMELY difficult to do...

If Perfect Baby told me that she was doing it for money, I would turn her down.

I would do anything for love but I won't do that. Even if it were her. Love is not a product, it is not a service. Love is a gift. Love is free. You cannot buy, barter, or sell love.

You can trade it though, for more love.

Love is a verb, love is a doing word. You can either love or be in love, these are two very different things.

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Do you see the common theme in there? Banking everything on people who aren't yourself is bad for you. Those people can abandon you if things don't work out. With friends, there's less pressure since friends typically don't break up. Friends = support group.

Hey anons hope I'm not posting in the wrong thread, it's just I can't come to a decision on this situation pushed on me. I live with my long time friend and his wife in a 2 bedroom apartment. Why? Cause his lazy ass won't get himself a better job to support his even lazier wife and newborn child.

Anyways they just got back from the hospital and brought over a bunch of people. I woke up as they walked in, laying in my soft af sheets butt naked cause I had the house to myself. I tried to quickly get up but they were to quick and could already see me from the living room, so I cover up with a towel quickly before tossing my pillow towards the door trying to shut it. I failed, and it landed just outside the threshold before sliding to a stop by his feet. Out of nowhere this dude goes off, spitting some fighting words. I took a moment before confronting him and get some half assed apology of "Sorry man I'm tired" when he's been sleeping in the hospital for 3 days lol.
I texted him later letting him know what was up, and this dude said I've got a tough guy act going.

Should I pacify him? Or let him think his 5"0 out of shape ass can do/ talk to me however he wants. He does this all the time despite me telling him to stop, always testing the waters, but imma bout ready to send him back to the hospital, only this time as a patient.

Please halp

yes i see the common theme being you believe it's unhealthy for partners to be able to rely on each other, even though that's literally what the damn word means, and that you're presumably punishing your current/ex for putting that sort of pressure on you

why the fuck are you living with a family of deadbeats. move out

Had to call the cops on my dad because he's abusive to my brothers and me. He immediately ran when I dialed.
Still suffering from losing someone I thought was my friend. I feel so hurt by the words "I don't trust you anymore" and "I don't want to be near you". I didn't do anything wrong.
I never said I'm depressed before but now I feel completely crushed with no sense of tomorrow. I feel my life breaking off piece by piece where I pretend I'm perfectly fine but everything is going wrong.
I lost all prospects for my future

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I was trying to help him out a bit while saving up money myself. I didn't think he'd try n play like an alpha.

I will wait for you.

I wish you knew how I feel isn't your fault and we can start over. You mean everything to me..