Why can’t I get even one date?

I would like to clarify this was NOT my post

I know this sounds weird and its hard not to just link you to a pick up artist book I feel every man needs to read.

But women like mystery in a potential mate they dont want to know everything about you. I get a vibe you talk and give every detail about yourself to women or brag a lot. Rather than just telling jokes and vaguely discussing your interests with them.

If something scares women off it is a guy who seems in a hurry to let her know exactly who he is in an overt explanotary way. You need to let her softly discover you at her own pace without you shoving it down her throat.

Post some screen shots of your tinder conversations if you actually want help

I’m not sure this is the case.

My own limited understanding is that unfortunately I’m probably just too dry/non sexual in conversations with girls. I can’t inspire a sexual reaction in them.

I HAVE made out with girls a few times. But only when I’m in a very particular mood which is a mix of drunk-but-not-too-drunk, cocky, yet comfortable. That very rarely happens though, sadly

I deleted Tinder out of shame because every girl I matched ghosted me. So unfortunately can’t share screenshots

hmmmmm

dont know how to help anymore you dont need to be sexual when you first start communicating. with someone. tinder is great for not even needing to flirt as there is the preconceived notion you are sexually attracted to each other.

Without seeing what you say I cant explain why you get ghosted. Can you give me the frequency of response time and volume of messages your matches have demonstrated and when it falls off/they ghost.

Give me a timeline

Are you quite young, like 20s? A house party would be a much better place to get with a girl. Dates are old fashioned and awkward.

Literally I get ghosted in a handful of messages. I barely reveal anything about myself and yet they still stop responding

Only one girl bothered to talk to me more than that, and even she ghosted me after two days of talking. Tried to set up a date and she just vanished

The worst thing is that I get a decent number of matches, and all with very attractive women. So I know there can’t be much wrong with my appearance. I just have zero game

I’ve been to literally hundreds of house parties and all I’ve gotten out of them in terms of girls is a few drunken makeout sessions

What people don’t tell you is that self improvement and building a better social life does NOT get you girls in and of itself. I have a more wild party lifestyle than most people I know and especially more than 90% of people on Jow Forums and yet I am the dateless virgin, and they are not

Come back here after you reinstall tinder. I cannot help further without seeing ehat the fug ur saying

Sorry but I have no desire to reinstall Tinder right now. All I get from it is false hope and disappointment

>the collapse of society.

> live in 50s America
> have sex

pick one

I was in your same position about 5 years ago

Try working out more doing a ton of compound movements

Also, try to go out Saturday and Sunday with friends at parties and talk to many girls

I did this and it made me go from being invisible to girls to regularly having sex with a new girl every month or so

Attached: 0117DE84-44AB-46E7-B12B-FB2CF7EAD606.png (889x592, 286K)

I already go out to parties and clubs very regularly

Then the only missing part is working out a lot.

How often do you go to the gym? What do you do? What’s your diet like

I doubt going to the gym is going to do anything if he's already attractive

What do the girls you talk to at the parties say about it? If you told them you liked someone would they get all excited and get her for you, or would they be put off for some reason?

>I doubt going to the gym is going to do anything if he's already attractive

It definitely worked out for me.

I was fairly attractive and was pretty slim.

I put on muscles and then I sudden got noticed a lot more by girls

OP should definitely not tell a girl that he likes them

How do girls react when you talk to them? Do they laugh and want to follow up with you the next days or do they seem uncomfortable and mostly silent?

No I meant "told them you liked someone" in the correct way, as in told them you like someone else. Usually girls are really eager to help a guy out, whether that's helping them get together or letting them down gently. Either way it lets you know what's up.

Going to the gym is not going to help me know how to flirt

I’m willing to bet you were unattractive but knew how to be seductive, or found it easy to learn. My problem is the opposite

Yeah, girls are very supportive if I tell them that I like someone, even if it’s a friend. They don’t really help me out though, they just give encouragement

Then again I’ve never really asked a female friend for help with another girl

>I’m a good looking, stylish, charismatic guy.

Try self deprecating humor. You sound like you might be a bit to serious and might broadcast super high self esteem.

Nobody wants "perfect", they like someone relatable. That would be my guess without knowing you.

Also, make sure you genuinely listen and interact. Be interested in what others say, not just use the conversation to make it something about you. You don't always have to turn the conversation to how you had a similar situation/experience.

SInce females aren't telling you what's wrong with you, ask a gay man. They might be able to be more blunt with a "bro". Also, don't discount the opinions of older people like your parents/aunt/uncles age. They've been through life and are probably better at recognizing character flaws than people your own age. Talk to someone who's really good at reading people and ask them, even if they are old.

>Yeah, girls are very supportive if I tell them that I like someone, even if it’s a friend. They don’t really help me out though, they just give encouragement
>
>Then again I’ve never really asked a female friend for help with another girl

Honestly this seems strange that you have so many female friends. Were you raised by a single mother OP? Being serious here, if so, you might study the art of manliness site a bit or hang out with older guys at work. Something just seems off in how you interact with girls. Most guys I've known don't really have many friends who are girls, it just appears to be the nature of how it works. Maybe you are too much like them or their mannerisms for them to find you attractive? It's like you're emitting a "one of the girls" vibe that doesn't trigger "dateable" in their mind.

I might be old fashioned, but it seems strange that any guy would have multiple female friends. Usually guys don't have tons of female friends, female acquaintances at best. Generally women are very insecure and see a guy with tons of female friends as a red flag.

I don’t have that many female friends, and I have more male than female. I do have a fair few though

You are right that I was raised by a single mother though. I had an easy childhood but I definitely lost out from not having a father figure

I think it's more likely that OP is delusional about one or two things, because it's not very likely to have all that and still not end up with a girl. Plenty of men out there who have far less and still get a girlfriend. Maybe it's time to be more honest with yourself if you actually want advice.

What do you want me to say? I’m just going by what I’ve been told and the evidence I’ve been given.

I live a good life, I just can’t get a date to save my life. Is it that hard to believe? I’m hopelessly useless at flirting and have zero game. For a man, that is a death sentence

>as in told them you like someone else. Usually girls are really eager to help a guy out, whether that's helping them get together or letting them down gently.

Don’t do this OP

You gotta do it yourself

>You are right that I was raised by a single mother though.

I wondered. It's no big deal OP but it affects how you interact with women at a base level, not seeing/emulating your father. I'll double down on the advice, try to befriend some older men. Might be work friends, go fishing and ask for advice or something, even church functions where you can interact with older men. It just helps to understand male/female dynamics. The art of manliness is pretty good or even youtube videos can help. Shit, check out this dude's channel: youtube.com/channel/UCA08EaJDF5oG9McG3nj5tXw nothing ground breaking, but it might help to watch this stuff and emulate it some.

>I’m willing to bet you were unattractive but knew how to be seductive, or found it easy to learn. My problem is the opposite

Maybe you are right...

Here’s my advice on flirting:

>Try self deprecating humor. You sound like you might be a bit to serious and might broadcast super high self esteem.

Don’t do this OP. Just be funny and social. Don’t be self deprecating

>study the art of manliness site

Nah, avoid “manosphere” sites like the plague

>a bit or hang out with older guys at work.

Don’t, hang out with guys your age who are more successful, pick up on what works

That’s how I got game at least

This guy is correct. -femanon

>>a bit or hang out with older guys at work.
>
>Don’t, hang out with guys your age who are more successful, pick up on what works
>
>That’s how I got game at least

I was giving that advice to help whole life, not just to up the pick up game. You're going to have to interact with women and hopefully a partner someday, do both so you can have pick up game and actually know on a fundamental level how men and women usually act.

I thought I was being funny and social.

I really dislike how people assume I must be socially deficient just because I can’t get girls. I’m not for Christ’s sake. I’m a functioning, social, friendly guy and I can go into any room or party and strike up a conversation with someone.

I need very specific advice on how to inspire sexual or romantic feeling in women. Not these platitudes about “be social”, “hang around successful guys”. I already do that shit

>Sociable, funny and extroverted
Maybe if you're not actually this. If you have all the other qualities and this, you should have had at least one date at this point.

>Shit, check out this dude's channel:

Nah, avoid “internet guys”, it is all snake oil

There no way to “explain” flirting, you just pick it up by seeing how more successful guys do it

You’re social, attractive and regularly interact with girls.

If you still can’t get a girl though, you clearly lacking in one of these areas

Maybe you're just boring lol.
>inb4butISpeak2Peepill
that's just them being polite. No one except for an asshole will tell you that you're boring in front of your face.

Not anybody in this thread so far but this post reminded me of the book The Sex Myth by Rachel Hill. It's an observation and critique of present and past societal views on how much experience one should have, what times, with which people and how. Also discusses in depth the socio-psychological stuff that your post hints at.

SURELY if I was THAT boring then I wouldn’t even have a social life because people wouldn’t want me around? There has to be a reason why I have plenty of friends who love partying with me or going for drinks, but no girls who want to go on a date with me?

I’ve seen plenty of guys flirt and still don’t know how to replicate it

>I’m hopelessly useless at flirting and have zero game.
You said you were charismatic. I would count being able to flirt as charisma. So maybe tone down with the boasting if you aren't actually all that.

I saved this thread once because it had useful tips on flirting:
archive.4plebs.org/adv/thread/18960720/#18960720

> I might be old fashioned, but it seems strange that any guy would have multiple female friends.

That's not being old fashioned, that's being an Jow Forums local. It's not strange for a guy to have multiple female friends, it's extremely normal. Outside of Muslim countries there are very few people who do not have multiple relatively-close male and female friends.

Okay, I’m charismatic in every circumstance aside from romantic/sexual ones.

It would surprise you to know that many people, including women, have said I seem to be a very confident guy. A lot of people have told me they could never do some of the things I do socially

I know guys who are terminally socially awkward and depressive and yet still get girls while I don’t. It kills me inside. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I don’t deserve this

Come to think of it, how would you avoid it. How do you go to parks, school, parties etc. and totally avoid talking to and becoming friends with people of the opposite gender.

No wonder you can't get a date. Just because you have some things, you think you deserve other things. The world doesn't work like that, try being more humble.

I’m not exactly going to come out here saying “I’m shit”, “I’m unattractive”, “I deserve to be a virgin”. I’m not some kind of sad case

Why do you freak out at the idea of a virgin having self confidence? I’m not defined by my virginity. I’m more than that. I am allowed to be cocky if I want to. Plenty of non-virgin men are cocky and you aren’t complaining about them

Because you are an angsty desperate whiner. Nobody finds that attractive.

>Plenty of non-virgin men are cocky and you aren’t complaining about them
That's because this topic isn't about them. It's about you. It's also pretty funny how you took "be more humble" as "act like a depressed whiny faggot." Your mentality is why you don't have a date.

I’m not angsty. I’m just exasperated as to how I can put so much effort into life and still not get even one date

Look, plenty of men are far worse than me and they get dates.

Scroll down Jow Forums for a minute. On an average day you’ll find at least a handful of dudes who are total sad case nerds with depression who STILL have girlfriends and are making threads asking how to keep them. That or the same guys will be making threads about how to get their exes back. If THEY can get girlfriends, why can I not even get a first date?

You have to understand my cocky attitude is a necessity. I had very low self esteem as a teenager. This is how I overcame it

I can tell you right now OP, your friends are likely superficial and don't actually care about you.

Because I’m a virgin?

Fucking hell this is ridiculous. Is it that hard to believe I can just be a normal guy who happens to have never dated?

No, you dummy. Real friends will pick up that something is making their friend unhappy, then invest time in helping them. Fake friends go, "oh, I'm so surprised you're single, OP!" then move on because they could care less about how you feel.

>baiting this fucking hard

I do everything I can to make it seem like I’m okay with being a virgin. I’ve also lied to most friends so a lot of them don’t know

It’s really quite of a dick move to reduce someone’s life experience to “durrrr must be le troll xD” just because it doesn’t fit your world view

Ah, so you're either baiting, retarded, or some kind of schizo because you've now said your friends are always surprised that you're a virgin and are now contradicting that. Lying to your friends also makes you a shit friend. Either way, bye bye.

Lying to my friends about being a virgin makes me a shit friend? People aren’t entitled to my deepest secrets just because they’re my friend

Nothing I said was contradictory. Only one or two of my closest friends know I’m a virgin. The rest assume that I’m not and I don’t deny it/lie by saying “yeah I’ve had sex a few times with one night stands”.

I don’t understand the need of you being so harsh towards me.

>I'm the most fun and confident and likeable guy ever in the real world
>It's only on the internet I am an angry desperate sperg
It doesn't work that way.

Different user, but I have a friend who I love dearly, he is a truly lovely human being and I spend time with him.

But dear lord he is one of the most boring people I've ever met. He's attractive and relatively funny, but he wears very thin after about hour. Not saying you're this. Just saying think on.