My husband doesn't make very much money and my mom and her friends bring it up a lot and how sad it must be for me

Well... I don't get the whole guy willing to raise his child thing. That seems pretty base.

But yes, I agree. Like I said initially, I make enough money that his salary is icing on the cake that gives us a comfortable lifestyle. If he wasn't here, I would be losing money each month that can now be redirected into savings, nice clothing/furniture, trips, etc. We recently moved to a wonderful school district. Once the kids are out of daycare, savings will surely grow exponentially.

Plus, from what I have heard, plenty of people "living rich" are actually living with an incredibly large amount of debt. Still, both my mother and my step dad continue to pester about the money. In fact, step dad once went so far as to suggest that my husband shouldn't be allowed to keep any of the money he earned at all. Since I make more and the house is in my name, etc., he felt my husband owes me every single penny he makes to compensate for having a smaller salary.

I told him that was crazy. Everyone deserves to be able to purchase things for their own pleasure.

Plus, you never know when someone could lose a job. Or when someone's fortunes could change.

Do you actually like your husband? This thread jis just confusing.

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>sooo adorable any man would love them
No one wants to take care of someone elses kids and relationships with single moms are fucking horrible. lmao

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Single guy with more-than-comfortable salary here.

I would never date a single mom, ie. your mom is wrong.

He's right, you know

Yes. Of course.

I guess it's confusing because I AM confused a bit.

When I met my husband I was a grad student all gung ho about communist sexuality.
Now I'm a working mom with 2 young kids. My values have changed. It's no longer, "being the breadwinner is a way to understand the male plight for so many hundreds of years."
Now it's "I want to give my kids everything."

I suppose there is no end to everything though, and they live a good life where they are well loved and spoiled as hell.

Most men wouldn't date a single mom so just bin those thoughts. It's easy to think how nice life could be but first of all doesn't marriage mean anything to you? Another thing is that with another man you'd have a different set of problems. He might be crazier and not good with kids/whatever. Your children also are not stupid. They are going to ask why you left dad. Do you think they would respect you if they knew the real answer?

If anything your goal should be to try to get your husband to be more passionate about an easier life and to work harder to improve himself.

That's what I told her.
Then again, I personally know a guy making $160K a year dating a single mom with kid. So I wouldn't say it is unheard of simply because it isn't common.

But honestly, as a mother of 2 beautiful little girls, I would want to be banging some random dude with a "more than comfortable" salary because you have to be extremely careful who you introduce to your children, and I wouldn't like the idea of some man thinking his more than comfortable salary is why I am around, because I too make a more than comfortable salary, which is why I could afford to marry a man who currently makes an objectively small salary and have 2 kids. Maybe it's actually a very comfortable salary that has now become more than comfortable bc of the 2 kids.

Of course it does.
I don't have any plans to do anything, all I'm saying is --- this gets brought up to me frequently by family who feel that my husband "doesn't deserve me." (Or rather "I could do much better.")

If you don't think such a thought ever runs through someone's mind, that's crazy. We all want material things.

I was just wondering if I'm a fool for marrying for love because no one ACTUALLY does that, or if my mom and her ilk are shallow women trying to mislead me down an unhappy path is all.

>my mom and her ilk are shallow women trying to mislead me down an unhappy path is all.

There is your answer.

They are very adorable.

Anyway. I suppose I have found the answer I seek... it's better to be with someone you love than to chase a rich man in the hopes of fancier cars and more vacations. I guess I knew that anyway.

I suppose this is the way the world is going. Besides, I know plenty of women married to people getting advanced degrees who aren't currently making anything, but people respect them for "sticking with their husband through his studies" so it is kind of hypocritical.

I am sticking with my husband through a career change. He will be making much better money in the foreseeable future once he finishes all the requisite licensures.

Thanks for confirming what I already suspected and reminding me of the virtues of marriage :)

Clearly the right choice here is to take your kids away from their real dad and marry someone who won't care about them so they can go to Disney land twice a year and get the best phone available.

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Hope your husband grows some sense and leaves your ass-

And I have been trying that. He's recently changed careers for that purpose. He had been in the cooking world for many years, and he felt he didn't have the stability and benefits he wanted. He was also unhappy with the work hours. He completely switched fields. Now he has to work his way up the ladder, but he has a clear trajectory and amazing benefits. He also works much, much better hours and can be in his children's life way more than he ever could before. However, it will be 3 more years until he has completed enough of the licensing and in field experience to be making what most people would say is a comfortable salary for someone with 2 kids. With both our incomes combined, and assuming we both continue to get promotions and improve our performance (I am younger and 2.5
Years into my career, he just switched careers and is 2 years in) within 8 years we should be making a very nice amount. We plan to stay in our current home if possible rather than sell and upgrade and put that money into savings.

He gets frustrated too though because he took an initial pay cut changing careers and he feels down sometimes.

To you. To everyone else they look like baggage.

Hey--- we did marry for love after all, so that seems doubtful.

I wonder how many people really marry for love and how many do it for social reasons (oh, a person like X and a person like Z are such an obvious match), and how many just do it as an exchange (I'll marry this guy for money and he marries her for someone to bang out whenever). Love marriages seem pretty rare sometimes.

I'm going to go to bed though on this one.

This seems like a bait thread, but the replies have at least been lengthy, so whatever, I guess.

I make a bunch of money. Guess what working so much to make that money means? No time for fancy vacations. I mean, of course I get my standard two-three weeks, but I'm not on some lavish jet-set off to the French Riviera every week, and when I'm on vacation, I'm still detached checking my email and making sure shit doesn't burn to the ground.

Also, instead of 12 bedroom houses and four cars, I maintain a 3 bedroom home in a nice area and one relatively nice car (Camaro with all of the major packages), instead of "living rich" as you mentioned. The rest of the money goes to savings and investments.

Unless the girl is fucking absolutely spectacular, and I'm talking prime Taylor Swift who shares all of my interests spectacular, I'm not doing anything with anyone who has two kids already. Fuck adorable, I have enough of a hang up about having my own kids, much less paying for someone else's.

>I keep trying to explain that single moms aren't going to land some bankroll overnight,

So the reason you're not going with this ISN'T because out of the love and commitment you have for your husband, but because finding another suitor isn't easy?

Really?

One other thing here... two full time working parents is really shitty for the kids. If your husband can be around more for them, and you're unable to be around as much, at least they have a parental figure in their life instead of an overwhelmed daycare worker.

My coworker is doing amazing things with her career, but she drops her kids off in a building at 7:30 AM and neither parent gets them until 6 or 7 PM. Nearly 11 hours a day that these kids are being reared by someone who isn't a parent. And of course the oldest is exhibiting behavioral issues. I wonder why?

lmfao no. Love marriages is still number one reason in the west. You do know that most people are not rich right? Jesus christ. You clearly don't love your husband if you're thinking about leaving him for some rich dude that most likely won't even care about your kids.

9/10 I expect (you)'ll get quite a few (you)s with this one

If you actually made a thread about this means you want to do it subconciously. Does it mean you will? No.
You don't seem to love him as much as you thought. Leave him, but know you're a bad person for marrying him and procreating only to leave for the money.
You're ready to ruin your children's lives over money.
Leave the kids behind and pay the alimony to your husband.
Degenerate.

Dear god, do you even listen to the vapid shit coming out of your mouth?

Fucking gold digger mentality right under the surface. It's shameful you even have kids

This is bait

Holy shit I am never getting fucking married or having kids now. My fiance flipped 180 on me in 4 months and fucking left, now I see shit like this. Fucking women these days, holy shit.

Your children growing up with their father raising them is far more important than sending them to fucking camp or a trip to Japan. Think back and remember what it was like to be a kid. If you were going to be ripped away from your parents, you would have given anything to stayv with them right? Exactly. You will ruin your kids' lives by doing that.

I read stories like this all the time on all the boards. Usually from the guys perspective but having had this happen to me I can tell a lot of them are genuine.
Pretty sure this one is bait tho.

Yeah this is fucking disgusting the fact that this discussion is still being furthered and you are even thinking this shit, look at yourself, you are fucking posting this on an internet board that is meany for ANONYMOUS ACTIVITY so you obviously know what the fuck you are doing is completely wrong. How would you like it if your husband saw this whole entire damn thread. I can't believe people are this baited towards money in these situations. Sometimes I think you are using your kids as an excuse and shield behind the treu purpose that you just want more money. Deny all you want, thats the property of ignorance is bliss. A parent downright knows that the best for their children is two awesome parents, do you know how many fucking people wish they could have two whole parents that shows them equal love which is what you are telling us your kids are getting? Like other post have stated two disneyland trips and the latest smartphones over affection and caring?? Really!? You have so much fucking more things to think about other than this childish bullshit. How about your kids to start with? Stay busy with getting them to join various activites outside of school, pay attention to their grades, love your husband and show him the love you so have for him. End this greedy bullshit, leave Jow Forums and live your life before it bites your ass for digging too deep outside the comfort zone.

>Plus the kids are sooo adorable any man would love them).
Lol your mom is delusional.

I'm assuming your stepdad isn't a family attorney because that's not how it works in most states. Basically he's entitled to half your shit and it doesn't matter if the house is in your name unless you have a separate property agreement.

>unless you have a separate property agreement.
And even then, those can be thrown out, because "I s-s-signed it under duress!"

Well yeah that too but I think that depends on the state and if you had that shit before you were married.

Also, I want to know figures of how much it makes "2.5 years into her career"

Sounds like your mum only cared about money, sacrifice her relationship and everything else for it and now wants to pass on that attitude.

Anyway, did you mum actually contribute her own money to her family or did she just take your fathers? would be funny if she brought in no wealth.

Bro, I would like to talk to you about what happened to you and share our stories. There seems to be a fucking epidemic of this in our country. I can drop you my burner email if you're interested. I just need to know why. She never gave me an answer.

This. Single moms are fucking trash and a meme. I will never have anything to do with a single mom beyond pump and dump. Only cucks adopt another man's children.

My stepfather was very good to me and I'm extremely grateful to have him. He treated me so much like his own flesh and blood that I seriously didn't know he was my stepdad until some issues came up and it was revealed to me. You may look down on men who do it, but I believe they are much stronger and more respectable than you ever will be.

This made me feel rather sad desu
I guess I'll have to start conversations with my last paycheck statement from now on. I knew it would eventually come to this

If you collectively make enough to live a comfortable life, it literally doesn't matter how much your husband makes. If you wish you made so much more, why don't YOU get a higher paying job? Don't ruin a perfectly good relationship for other people's gender role bias.

If you become a single mom your looks won’t land you amything more that a good dicking and maybe breakfast.
Your mom is an idoit. If you like your man keep him and be happy he even has a job.

Still feel like this is bait.

This. For it to come this far, to make this thread means you're clinging to some hope of external validation. You're a terrible, disgusting person. I feel sorry for your children.

Why the fuck would you care how much money he makes if you make enough money yourself?

I mean, if this post isn't bait you should really question your morality, because it certainly makes you sound like a terrible person. I mean WTF.

You say he is your HUSBAND. Do you have so little respect for the bond that implies, do you care so little about this person you've spent so much time with and allegedly love that you're willing to question all of it for some money you don't even need?

The very thought of leaving him for such a trivial matter, no, in fact the very thought of leaving him AT ALL should be totally unfathomable to you. You should be ashamed for even considering it.

I seriously hope this is anti-women Jow Forums bait because otherwise it's very sad.

Your mom is everything we stand against here.

A materialist whore who doesn't value genuine love. An evil godmother of sorts, a villain, a jaded roastie who wishes to impart her materialistic ways onto you.

Money won't solve everything.

Y'all niggas in a bait thread

Yeah all does is draw all day what a faggot!

>man with money will willingly pay for your 2 kids that arnt his
>your mom isnt a mentally handicapped retard

pick none

theyre called cucks whore.

I gleefully laugh at single moms whining no man wants them

Dont even care if its a bait thread feels good to laugh at how pathetic women are

You're saying OP is an old school troll who actually puts effort into trolling? I don't believe you.

You sound like a golddigger, but I'll ask you this: If you met another guy who made a lot more money would you be happy? Or would you cheat on him with Chad Thundercock, cause 5" can't compete with the 9" Chaddick, and "women have needs" and sheit?

Stop bitching to your mom about your husband and father to your children.

Hope you know it will take at least 3 years, perhaps more to get a rich guy to marry you and then you have ripped your children from their father and blown all this up for a new zip code. I would understand divorcing a man that didn't work at all and played video games all day or abused you and your children or drank and did drugs and cheated on you.

Anyway, at some point when your children are older they will put it together the real reason you dumped their father should you do this and you are very much like your own mother for so seriously considering this.

>Plus the kids are sooo adorable any man would love them).
Women literally couldnt be more out of touch with reality

Kids is literally one of biggest red flags there is. No self respecting man would write paycheck on a single man.

Get your husband to study or make business togheter or aome shit

Divorcing him will hurt you, your kida and him.

Holy fuck mgtow retards were right

You literally know nothing about me so shove it up your rotten cunt. Stepdads may do a great thing, mending a broken home, but that doesn't make them so very strong. The reality is they settled to be a single mom's meal ticket. They couldn't find a real woman and make their own family so they had exchange their meal ticket for love and affection. It's a sad fucking reality, but it's true, and they will never receive a woman's love beyond being a provider. Your stepdad may have been a great father to you but it doesn't change that.

your mom should be stoned to death, no jokes

Notice how op "went to bed" and never returned to this thread.
I guess she should have thought about trading up before her sadsack husband gave her two kids. Or maybe he knew she wanted to trade up, but impregnated her anyway knowing no other man would want that used up single mom.
This lady is not representative of women, because btw, not all rich men are generous. Everyone wants to be rich and have their own mansion, pools, luxury cars, fancy vacations, etc, but in reality you want a man who's generous with his time and money and loves you, not the cheating ruch fatass that was op's father.

>holy fuck mgtow retards were right
Rights? I still refuse to identify with them because their ideology takes it a little too far but 90% of their shit is true.

You had me till the last paragraph. Well played bait.

I think you’re literally fucking retarded and should have never had kids with this man, you are a awful human being. You honestly make the world a worse place. Your husband is an amazing farther and is trying his best to support them and you want to end that because you’re selfish for your “family” it’s women like you why I completely stopped daiting. Be gone thot

I'm sorry you have to go through this op, but love is love and needs no reason. Follow your true heart and don't care what people think.

At no point of that post did you say you love him.

Some women are evil. The rest are just .. women I guess. A few transcend the bullshit. Some guys are evil as well though, quite a lot of the rest are pretty dumb, shallow and self absorbed.

I guess the reason why these things seem so unpleasant is they trigger deep seated primal fears for men. Most guys are like .. shit I've reached a pinnacle, now it is about maintaining my position and avoiding disruption and conflict because I could now lose big. I need somebody to love and support me and provide sex and company and I'm amicable to a family.

The idea that somebody you've picked to allow to get close to you, to the point where you are vulnerable could see you in a mercenary way and disrupt your family and trigger your parental instincts is horrible.

Like, a women taking your family for the chance to have more money? Personally I'd drop your mother like a hot balloon. This is like, divorced from your family tier.

I grew up old money rich. Old money as in it is all tied up in land. Rental income, levels of businesses where staff live on family land and pay their wages from family businesses back into the family. I always viewed work as optional, you just played at it.

Anyway. What did we consider most disgusting? Aspirational middle class people who believed being rich meant looking rich and that a good life was found in the pursuit of high status rubbish and even worse, with a strong work ethic to get there (laughable, all exploitation).

Like we had nice things, but they were decades old. We had nice houses, but they cost a fortune to maintain and heat. They were more a labour of love than a sign of the good life. What was important was finding something you were good at and enjoyed and just getting on with it and having freedom. Freedom mainly from having to deal with the bullshit that comes from being mortgaged to the hilt, paying off the student loans, the car payments, the phone bills, saving for holidays, your child's education, the small amount of hired help.

Honestly. A good life is attainable with modest means. Respect people who choose to be doctors, engineers etc for good reasons, but spit on those who choose it for money, power and influence. Poverty is quite often a mindset born of a lack of opportunity and perspective.

So many of my family members just potter about for a living. Most of them haven't bought any new clothes in a decade, they wouldn't even understand most brands, having to shop for something that does not enable your passion is seen as a disagreeable chore.

This is probably bait

Anyway, I didn't get to my point. Your mother assumes that your life would be better, easier, good etc if you have a greater amount of money coming in. But you only need enough to sustain yourself and your family and you should be showing a strong enough moral character to reject the rest of the bullshit. Having no money brings stress and sadness, but having lots of money also brings stress if you haven't anything to spend it on and if you've both got to work your asses off on a typical modern insecure career to sustain it what is the point? I really value my time, especially with family. I'd happily take a pay cut in order to get a good balance, but then I'm lucky that my basic needs are more than met. Honestly, your children will thank you for your time and a stable home more than what you can buy them. Don't inflict consumerist misery upon them because you lack the vision to see life from another perspective and conflate love with spending money. Sadly this is probably why your mother sees things this way, because she had no love, just money.

Tell them that this is the 21st century and unlike in those frigid bitches' time, nowadays, the man doesn't necessarily have to be the "breadwinner".
Relationships are now more than ever about romantic partnership rather than economic unions.

Work isn't optional for the rest of us. Sorry richie rich.

The fact that you even considered it says alot about you your husband can obviously do better than you.

Work pretty much is optional, you just aren't prepared to accept the quality of life that it'd require. I admit I'm in a very good place, my house is paid off, my car is paid off, I can live on about $400 a month if I need to. If I need money I've got it. Point it, is it is unacceptable to my family that I do not work and my work should be something I'm passionate about. It isn't enough to simply want money, you have to have a reason to want the money.

I can't really explain it. All I mean is that 'more money = more easy more happy' is a mentality adopted by people who've built an intellectual prison for themselves.

If money was no object would you stay with your husband? Would you leave? Who would be the father to your children? What sort of life would you have? What would you want them to have? What is important that they learn and what values are you looking to impart?

These things don't have anything to do with money unless you are actively impoverished.

Wow holy fucking shit you are a top notch whore or this bait is really good.

It's so silly for you to even ask this. It's obvious it's you who cares about him not making enough money so be honest with yourself and stop blaming others.

From old money to old money: shut up.

A lot of old money people, especially those with land and old irrelevant businesses, think they're above the middle class and new rich because they're oh so humble and live such modest lives. But when you look deep into that crap it's all rotten.

So shut up.

You sound like a massive whore.

Typical womens mentality these days.

They want 1950s men whilst being 2018 women.

Listen, you're completely out of your gourd. For those of us without an inheritance, we have to work to buy you know the essential things like food. And a place to live. There's no way to get that shift for free.

Honestly your Mom and her friends are toxic, but your own friends would probably say the same thing as girls just like to cause drama in otherwise “happy” relationships.

“Oh sweetie we just want the best for you...” don’t fall for it. You’re gonna fight the suggestion but you need to cut your Mom off from your life.

You know it's good bait when you're not sure if it is bait.
Well played, OP, and thanks for reminding me never to get married.

Tell your mom to shut the fuck up about your financial situation unless she's willing to pitch in

>marrying a woman who is the daughter of a divorced woman
It is the husband's fault. Women ALWAYS end up like their mothers so long as the mother is present in her life to influence her. When will men finally realize this?!?

As long as you can afford to get by, you can marry a woman who is much less vapid than OP and the women from her family. Just make sure you study their GODDAMN family history; especially what the mother is like! Many men in my family are prime examples of low earners who are in happy marriages as a result of understanding this.

I learned this the hard way with my ex-fiance.

Based richposter.

I'm not "rich" in the way that you are, I have enough money saved (mostly through inheritance) that I could live comfortably without working for the rest of my life. I have never been forced to take on debt, and have only done so for the purpose of paying it off and building credit in the process.

I rent a modest apartment and drive a modest car, and wouldn't have it any other way. I work an average profession with average pay, which is definitely more than enough to survive, especially if you are debt free.

I will never buy a house; I will continue to rent, and keep my money freely available for other purposes rather than having a big portion of it anchored into a property with which so many things could go wrong (as a renter, I've never had to worry about property tax, unexpected repairs, etc.); not to mention that I am avoiding the possibility of a woman taking a house from me in a separation. If I have children, their younger years should be very easy thanks to the expendible money I would have laying around to support them; and I will be able to enjoy their company rather than having to stress about sucking up to a boss and working extra hours for a promotion to buy more expensive shit that we don't need.

The biggest mistake OP made is one I will certainly avoid: I will never get married. My parents had me out of wedlock; my dad was confident enough to convince my mom that she didn't need to be a conformist to the culture of being contractually obligated to stay together under a religion that they didn't truly care about, and using this obligation as a means to demand more and more from a partner under threat of divorce. The vast majority of women don't have the courage to do this even when they have the underlying desire to; but my mother did, and as a result, my parents are still happily together after 22 years.

Don't do what the majority does, and you may never make another mistake again.

Two sides of the same coin, perhaps. Many middle class people do everything they can to appear rich out of desperation, whereas many rich people just want to look middle class for the sake of protecting their wealth. In either case, it is just people hiding the truth from others.

This does not surprise me and neither should it surprise you anons.

Women stay out of fear or respect. If OP's husband beat her, cheated, drank, cooked meth in their kitchen and diddled the kids she'd stay with him till she died. And the thing about respect, for women, its not permanent. You could be an exemplary man and fuck up one time and her respect is gone and when its gone you are soon to be.

OP not once cares what her unilateral decision will do to her children or to her soon to be ex husband. She doesn't care, her reason to search for a mr checkbook, to give her children a wonderful life. Her husband watches on the sidelines as another man raises his children and if that one doesn't work out enter another hypothetical mr. checkbook.

OP also bemoans three years before her husband starts to make more money and assumes destroying the family unit, divorcing, dating and marrying mr. checkbook will happen sooner.

Warning to all men. OP is very typical today so do not have children. They can for any reason send you away and your children are no longer yours. Oh, she'll expect you to pay but you won't watch them grow up or be able to impart wisdom and damn sure no influence. When she loses respect for you she expects the children not to respect you as well.

>There's no way to get that shift for free.

>>get paid 1,000 monies amonth for being retarded

Never say never

stop entertaining these thoughts

whats best for your children is that you STAY TOGETHER... not fucking disneyland every year

Posted earlier

confirmed bait

This

>do not have children
As a man, spreading your seed is your primary biological purpose for existing.
You can have children with a woman and be with her long term if 1. you insist on renting and not buying and 2. you don't get married. For one, any woman who would agree to such conditions is likely a much less superficial woman than average, and who would therefore be much easier to live with. Also, you don't get fucked nearly as hard if things don't work out - no lawyers, no loss of house that you sunk hundreds of thousands of dollars in to.

Western Europeans have it the best in this regard. Some of those nations will pay retards the equivalent of more than double what you are getting each month.

Not so much desperation, but because they don't get it, they are insecure in their status and wealth therefore feel the need to show and justify it by doing the only thing they know. They don't have any/many actually wealthy friends who get it, so they try to impress the friends and family they grew up with, poor people.

So this manifests itself as buying expensive shit. Poor people think that is what rich people do so when they get some money that is what they do to try and appear rich to other poor people.

When you've grown up financially secure and you are secure within yourself you go beyond this pointless dick waving. You just get on with doing what is important and meaningful to you.

you should divorce your husband, not so you can get more money, but because you don't deserve his love and affection.

you are a stupid vapid whore cunt and I wish you die in a fiery car crash. die bitch.

Everyone is telling you to stay with your husband, who you apparently love, and you're still tip toeing around the question and second guessing everyone. You sound like a cunt, just like your mom. You've admitted he's a good father and that you have a comfortable life. Why the fuck would you leave him, except that you're a selfish bitch. Are you really trying to convince yourself that your kids would be happier with more toys and trips then stating with their father? My parents don't make much money and when I was a child I would NEVER have picked money over them. My wife doesn't make much money, but we're comfortable and I LOVE her, I'm not sure you're capable of that much emotion.

Please be a bait thread. If so good job OP. Jesus Christ.