So I've been on this piece of shit for a whole week and I don't have a single match. NOT A SINGLE MATCH

>for a whole week
Take your time, mate. Women are more selective, takes a while for us men to gather a few matches.

>There is absolutely nothing wrong with my profile or bio
Share your profile user. If you don't want to expose yourself, at least share your description. Maybe your bio isn't that great as you think.

Also, here is my story about tinder:
> august last year
> broke up with my 3 years ex because she was stalling our relationship
> jumped into tinder the next day, no time to feel bad about myself
> took me a while to get a few matches
> really cringy conversations at first
> started to avoid boring subjects like "what music/series/whatever you like?"
> eventually met a few chicks worth hanging out
> went out with a few girls that i was like "nah, no way"
> went out with a few girls that were actually nice
> banged a bit
> decided i rather be in a relationship than being single
> started being aiming directly into getting a girlfriend
> fast forward beginning of this year
> date with this cute peruan-looking girl
> a few embarrassing things on first date, but otherwise everything went ok
> convinced her to meet me next week as well
> started seeing each other more and more
> fast forward now
> been together with her for 6 months
> we are both really into each other, we see each other almost everyday
> shit has been great
> it all started as a tinder match
Good things can come out of it. Just need to chill and take your time, man

That's what I'm doing. I don't have any success so far but I'm just enjoying my freedom after a toxic ltr now. If my pictures were better I'm sure I could get matches easier.

take better pictures then
workout
get a better haircut
make some friends
do hobbies
make some money
just stop bitching

Like the guy you're replying to, I had tinder for like 6 months in college and didn't meet ANYONE (probably had 30 matches total) and then I did and I lost my virginity to her.
These things often just happen, but you need to be ready+patient

That what I'm doing. I'm not bitching or having a fit because I don't get any matches. I'm self aware enough to not do that shit. I'll work on myself and eventually I'll be in a better spot. If something happens along the way great, if not who cares.

Share your bio, man. Let's see what you got

Not OP and I'm aware it's pretty boring but I hate writing about myself

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I'm not sure where you live (I'm guessing.. Germany?), but at least here I think english profiles sounds like snowflakes trying to be special. But that is because people here are dumb, so a lot of people wouldn't be able to understand my profile if I wrote it in english.

> Reading
To me at least, this seems pretty boring. Its like saying "I like music". Everybody likes music. Whenever I would read a chick saying on her profile she likes book, I would think that is boring. If you like reading, I think you rather just make a tiny list of your 3~4 favorite books. So instead of saying you like reading, you are "showing" it, plus adding something people can really connect with (in case they like the same shit you do)

> Dogs > cats
Well, first of all, that's retarded because cats are clearly better. But secondly, I think its not a good thing to put on your profile. I think you should aim more generically, something like "I love dogs", or "I can't spend a day without playing with my dog Adolfie or taking him out for a walk" (if you own a dog). Just saying you like dogs is generically like the book thing, and saying you don't like cats works basically as a double-edge shit. You don't want to scare chicks who like cats.

> Inappropriate jokes
Once I went to bed with a girl I was going out from tinder, and after we got undressed and in bed, i just said "uh, i guess i will go to sleep", and turned around and pretend to go to sleep. She looked at me for me for like 5 seconds with a "can't believe this shit" face, then when I told her I was just kidding, she started laughing maniacally. Not sure how this relates to your profile, I just felt like mentioning.

> Deutsch
I regret not learning this shit when I was at school

Yeah. I've seen worse, but that's not great.

Get rid of that self depreciating shit about speaking German. Also holy fuck remove that last sentence and come up with something that makes you at least seem a little mysterious.

Thanks for the advice. It was all I could think of and just left it at that. I can see your points and see if I can come up with some improvements. Also it's never too late to learn some deutsch.
How do you seem mysterious as an average as fuck skinny white nerd? That has no real hobbies?

>That has no real hobbies?
What are your hobbies? Why they are not real?

>an average as fuck skinny white nerd
Dude, I'm ditching going out with my friends or being with my girlfriend on a fucking Saturday to spend my time on a board talking to a bunch of faggots. And even I get laid. Can't be that bad.

I spend my free time playing videogames or doing other shit at my PC and recently riding my bike. I'm assumed these kinds of things dot fit in a tinder bio.
I hate having to come up with some witty bullshit.

I saved a Jow Forums thread where a guy (right) was having tinder trouble and made a fake profile with the “chad” on the left that got replys. Here’s a breakdown of why from an user:

Chad:

>expensive clothes
>expensive background
>neat - short, dark hair
>blowjob angle

You:

>Long, dyed blonde gay hair
>necklace from an african at the beach
>showing lack of gains
> beer bottle in front of chest as if to protect yourself
> sideways submissive friendly head tilt
>showing lack of gains proudly

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cont.
I photoshopped my own pictures after looking at that advice and got a lot of matches as a result, I didn’t even have a bio beyond a short joke. So be mindful at editing your pictures

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Can men use emojis or is that a redflag?

Yes

>the guy on the right who is clearly tall and above average isnt considered attractive enough to get matches

tinder and humanity were both mistakes

I’d you can’t even build up skills and rely on an app where you will more often then not get any girls then I don’t know what to tell you

>"uh, i guess i will go to sleep"
Legit going to use this if I ever get the chance to fuck

This has to be bait

When will these whores understand that I am a true alpha gentleman.

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>Legit going to use this if I ever get the chance to fuck
If that means anything, you should know that it has been 6 months and I'm still with that girl.

A girl with a sense of humour is always great.