Do you have practical advice on improving your "hugging/kissing as a greeting" game?

Do you have practical advice on improving your "hugging/kissing as a greeting" game?

I've got social anxiety that makes this more difficult than it should be and thus easy to avoid. But I still enjoy it and I treat it as a way of working on improving myself or overcoming my anxiety, so often I will make plans to actually go out of my way to greet people more warmly. Then I often disappoint myself by not following through on that plan. When I do follow through, there are sometimes issues of missing my cue so it ends up awkward or one-sided.

As a side note: any advice on making less of a big deal of this? As in, I find myself stressing about it too much, and hyping myself up about it to the point of losing focus on other aspects of the encounter, and where a missed hug or kiss will significantly spoil it for me, even if things went fine otherwise. I want to keep working on this but not to the point where I get stressed out over it.

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You posted this same query last week and got some good responses. Go back and read them

Didn't you post this before? With like a picture of a badger or something?8

Seriously this
Stop reposting the same fucking thread over and over
This is the fourth time that I've seen and you're getting to be Brandon tier

Who the fuck is Brandon?

I reposted it because most responses I got were either misguided complaints about me being creepy or barely on topic. The threads got very little interest so naturally I'm reposting.

Jesus, you're fucking desperate.

Look, man, you're creepy. No two ways about it. There is no "hugging and kissing greeting game." There is just "game." If you have no game, nobody-- girl or guy-- will want you hugging, much less kissing them.
One of two things is ultimately true. Either you're creepy and are forcing this issue and you really need to stop, or you have game and this is a hashtag-humblebrag about how you can hug and kiss randos. But that doesn't seem to really be the case here.

Why not Google? Why not PUA resources? Why not anything except reposting your thread over and over and over on Jow Forums only to get the same fucking answers anyway? It's not like you've changed. You're the same fucking guy and your hugging and kissing is going to succeed, or fail, regardless of your questions here because it's largely out of your control as to whether people are interested. If you're attractive and have game, you could probably get away with it on complete strangers. Otherwise, you might as well not bother.

Maybe you get tons of answers calling you creepy because you're being creepy. I know you've never bothered to criticize yourself-- which is why you're making your godforsaken thread a fourth time-- but maybe now is a hell of a time to start.

>randos

Shit, maybe I should have spelled out that I'm not actually talking about rands but friends and acquaintances? I know I mentioned that in at least one earlier thread and I should have added that to the OP.

In short, it's not creepy to hug and/or kiss friends when greeting them where I live. It's not obvious or obligatory enough that people do it all the time, but I try to as much as possible as a way of overcoming my shyness.

I'm looking for advice on how to minimize pussying out of it and also not to make that big a deal out of it that I beat myself up about it later. So far, very little I read here has been on topic as far as that's concerned.

If I recall correctly, OP is in a country where "hugging and kissing as a greeting" is the norm, but he finds it awkward.

>but he finds it awkward.

I think that could be easily misunderstood as saying that I don't like it. I only sometimes avoid it due to anxiety, and am trying to work on it.

I'm not sure what the problem is recently. I made a thread asking about this maybe half a year ago or more, and the replies were mostly helpful. Still, I don't think I've made enough progress here so I'm asking again, and now I'm mostly being dismissed.

You realize employing strategies to work around the anxiety is a pretty big deal for an actual fucking greeting. I'm not talking about whether it's common and you've ignored that for four fucking threads.

I'm talking about anyone wanting it from you, which they evidently don't or you wouldn't be anxious enough to make four fucking threads.

Face it. You're trying to make something out of nothing. Work on other things, like your belly and your weird smell and your attitude-- your relentlessly narcissistic Jow Forums cut and paste attitude-- and maybe the greetings, the first step of interacting with literally anyone in any case, will stop causing you anxiety.

But you won't take advice, you'll just keep hammering your thread into Jow Forums because fuck, we're not bad enough as it is or anything. All just waiting for those granules of validation, awaiting eagerly the magical tidbit of knowledge that surely exists to solve your problems.

This is our successor to Brandon threads. This is what comes next. "I want to hug and kiss people but I know they don't want me to."

>your relentlessly narcissistic Jow Forums cut and paste attitude

What in fuck's name are you even talking about? What does narcissism even have to do with this?

Prattling git. If you're not trying to help then feel free to fuck off.

That's what I mean right there. Your attitude to anyone you disagree with or who disagrees with you is pitiful vitriol. And you wonder why nobody wants you to hug and kiss them?

I gave you your answer. Go be someone worth having confidence in, build confidence in other things. You're treating this like it's an independent issue and yet it's highly dependent on what you have confidence in to combat the anxiety. But you don't care about that, you think there's some magical one-step answer.

But continue to attack everyone you disagree with and keep on swearing and spittling at anyone who calls out your flaws. If people wanted you to hug them you'd know, and you wouldn't be on Jow Forums about it.

>PUA
Retarded autism that is completely unneccessary.

I didn't mention PUA anywhere, I said you might not be anxious about greeting people if you weren't anxious about yourself.
You're asking how to fix a cough, I'm telling you to cure the cold.

But you know what fuck it, right? Just keep shooting back insults because that's what you're good for and why you're here.

>Go be someone worth having confidence in, build confidence in other things. You're treating this like it's an independent issue and yet it's highly dependent on what you have confidence in to combat the anxiety. But you don't care about that, you think there's some magical one-step answer.

My problem here is that you seem capable of dispensing advice that actually sounds reasonable, but the way you do it undermines your credibility. It makes you appear like a twat who is just trying to make me feel bad and fuck off, as opposed to trying to help. Hence the vitriol. It has nothing to do with fucking narcissism.

Take a look at your earlier responses again and think about it. Then maybe we can go back to discussing this without the personal attacks.

You're responding to NOT the OP, and the comment he replied to LITERALLY has a mention of PUA resources in it.

Would be nice if Jow Forums had poster IDs.

If you want advice on Jow Forums but you want to call people out for shit, maybe you should just go hunt down a Discord. I don't think you understand why you're getting called out. And that's part of the problem, as is typical of what I presume is a European male roughly 24-26 you're having troubles applying flaws or criticisms to yourself. You're pulling away from the fact that these are reactions to you, and instead hovering on the idea that they're baseless attacks stemmed from something ephemeral or untouchable. The reality is, you're bringing a basic fucking issue to Jow Forums: I'm too anxious to touch people.

So, go the fuck away from Jow Forums and instead work on you. Not the hugging and kissing, but you-- the one doing that. Get out there and exercise, get out there and learn, or better yet, get out there with a group of friends and observe them in the natural proceedings. It could be, like I've asserted over every thread you've made, that it's contextual anyway whether people want to be hugged or kissed *at all,* much less in informal greeting. It could be that you just have a facial hair or body odor problem and once you resolve that people WANT to get hugged.

I can tell you with absolute certainty what will not help, and that's engaging in vitriol online in perceived defense of yourself on Jow Forums. Just take the shit and ignore it and pick out the grains of advice if that's what it takes. Stooping down to bickering shows the real problem at work here, and that's that you're lacking confidence in yourself in the first place. That's why I'm saying address that first. It's clearly a thing and anxiety tends to have a root.
Another thing that won't help is spamming. Making your thread every week is just harping for attention. Try every month, or every six months like you did before, but mashing this out every four days is just going to piss everyone off because it seems like you're ignoring anything you don't want to hear, which is a bad way to take advice.

What a contribution. We need you in this thread

You mean an entire board of tripfags?

>You're pulling away from the fact that these are reactions to you, and instead hovering on the idea that they're baseless attacks stemmed from something ephemeral or untouchable. The reality is, you're bringing a basic fucking issue to Jow Forums: I'm too anxious to touch people.

>Just take the shit and ignore it and pick out the grains of advice if that's what it takes. Stooping down to bickering shows the real problem at work here, and that's that you're lacking confidence in yourself in the first place.

What I'm trying to say here is that I shouldn't be getting attacked for this at all. Jow Forums's reputation is no excuse for this. Why can't you people stick to the issues and be kind?

I mean, if you were just attacking me for "spamming" then that would be different, but I seem to recall you calling me a creep the first time. This isn't productive. It undermines any advice you are trying to give. It puts me on the defensive and makes me question whether you are actually being sincere at all or just trying to put me down. How is this so difficult to understand?


Also, it's not quite as simple or bad as you make it out to be. It's not that I have to force myself on people with it, but it still seems kind of half-assed: like we'll greet each other with a hug "automatically" or "naturally", but won't hug each other goodbye unless I initiate it.

This is also about "upgrading" from hugs to kisses where we're already reasonably close. From everything (not counting vitriol in recent Jow Forums threads) I've heard and read about this so far, this even gives normal people anxiety even if they don't have issues.

Unlike the post I replied to, which was super-productive shit-flinging mistakenly aimed at the OP?

Also, did that guy (you?) mention PUA or did he not? Way I'm reading it, he did.

At least one board I know of has such a system - /soc/ - but it appears to be on a per-thread basis. Meaning the IDs change across threads.

I also used to frequent another chan that had forced IDs that stayed across threads and even boards, and only changed when your IP changed.

Helped keep samefagging and cases of mistaken identity to a minimum.