Girlfriend behaving strange

She's already embraced (read: not "given in") his advances and has made it very clear that how you feel about this shitstain doesn't matter to her. It's apparent that she doesn't respect you as much as you respect her and sounds fairly immature to boot. I'd move towards breaking things off if I were you, for your own sake. Also "just cuddling" in a situation like this is almost always horseshit and I'd venture to say that she's already full on cheating on you with this guy.

She doesn't respect him, that's the issue. He's right to be openly suspicious at this point. Her anger all but confirms that she knows she's in the wrong

Why haven’t you dumped her yet?

I respect her. I never did anything hurting her and I am open to her needs and wants. Before this guy came out of nowhere, we were talking about literally everything for whole nights, if we weren't banging each other's brains out.

It was almost perfect. Is it disrespectful to see faithfulness in a partner as mandatory?

Because she's the first woman I ever met that resembles a decent human being. At least she did.

This, first explained, second cut to the chase

>at least she did
>past tense

She cheated and was disloyal. Dump her. Girls like that don’t deserve second chances.

If my gf EVER told me “i’d be interested in him if I was single” I would have dumped her on that spot. No respectable girl would ever say this to her bf.

Just tell his girlfriend then cut contact completely.

>>She started smoking weed with him and a friend of his. 5 days a week she's smoking weed and drinking alcohol with them from 4 to 3. Okay, she's an adult, I can live with that

You shouldn't have lived with it. I know we're brought up and taught to believe that stuff like that should be okay but in every single one of my experiences when I let it be okay it turned out that it wasn't okay and it was just the start of the end and if I would have told my partner head cut that shit out I may be seen as an asshole but it could have turned out differently. some girls or women really just need you to tell them to fucking not do some stupid shit and if they don't listen then fucking leave them. honestly it's like there's certain things you should not have to explain to somebody if they're in a serious relationship. In fact if they're in a serious relationship and want to continue being in one there are certain things that they shouldn't want to do or they should listen to their partner about. Also I don't really want to be with somebody I have to constantly worry about looking for greener grass and running off on me from this somebody why wouldn't I want them to be solid in the relationship and not do that but fuck it just my opinion probably worth nothing

Well, I'm guilty in having such crushes in my past relationships and I think it's a sign of trust if you can tell your partner instead of just cheating or breaking it off without trying to fix it. Why throw away something that worked well, before trying to fix it?

You are absolutely right. I think it is okay to party a week straight, but what she does is too much. Even if you're only 30.

Thing is, Ithought it was 1 joint for 3 to for people and a beer in the evening...

Again. No respectable girl would ever say something like that. Infact it’s emotionally abusive. Plus she told you she’s developing feelings for him AND cuddled him!? That’s absolutely cheating.

Cheating doesn’t have to be sex. What she did is still cheating

Probably you are right. Cuddling is just a form of physical affection just like sex is.

She told me how he was getting her to crush on him... shady pickup tactics I once learned myself. Therefore it's not completely her fault. Although she shouldn't tell such a flag about her vulnerability after she lost her beloved grandmother who bought her up.

>Therefore it's not completely her fault.

Stop being a beta cuck. Yes it is her fault. For the third time, a RESPECTABLE and LOYAL gf would never have put herself into that situation.

Beta would be to just forget all that and carry her as around to keep her. I'm collecting arguments to try making a mature decision. I don't forgive it, but I at least acknowledge the circumstances

it’s beta cuck level to know your gf is cheating and to actually evaluate if as if she’s not completely guilty. She is. Cheaters are dumb whores and should be treated as such.

Regardless of how she USED to be. She’s not like that anymore.

It IS her fault. If some girl came an seduced you would your girlfriend believe that it's not completely your fault? Of course not.

In my opinion, if you catch feelings for someone else while you're in a relationship, if you care at all about the relationship you need to distance yourself immediately, not spend more time with them. She basically is cheating on you if they're both into each other, flirting, and cuddling dude.

You should have told her to stay away from him for good after she told you that she liked him and he was flirting with her. If she's important to you and you want to continue what you have, you need to give her an ultimatum; either him or you. Don't budge on this, and stay strong. If she's not willing to give up a guy that's obviously into her and she's into as well, then she doesn't care about you and it's over anyways. Even if this does happen, I would have a long conversation about what's okay, and if she's been lying about anything so far. Good luck OP.

Everyone got their own opinion. It'll surely have consequences for her. But at first I want to understand what was wrong to adjust and grow for the future. Growing is beta to, isn't it?

The rule is this:
If a girl you are dating talks about anither man in any sort of romantic context, especially if it is unprovoked on your part, then the relationship is over and you are to leave ASAP. Staying in the relationship under such circumstances is simply delaying the inevitable.

You know “once a cheater, always a cheater” is a very real saying right?

That actually was the case. She told me and I said it's a no go. After that, 6 weeks ago, she came up with 'talked again, it's just friendship'.

She already stated friendship is more important than a relationship... basically not wrong, but that shit isn't friendship... or I'm a jealous psycho

Than I'd have cheated more than once my entire life. May be true in some and wrong in other cases.

It’s NOT “just friendship”.

How blind are you? She clearly let you know she likes him. She clearly told you they cuddle. What the fuck are you doing lad?

Sarcasm, dude. Chill. I want to learn what I did wrong before I maybe break it off. I just need to know if I need to punch his throat for actually disrespecting me by actively trying to get her or if she lied about that as well.

Tucker should just be a decent male:
1. don't manipulate
2. break off your relationship and don't cheat
3. keep your hands away from another guy's girl

>I want to know if he tried to get with her
He probably did. It’s 50-50. Even tho he very likely did try to get her, she STILL accepted it. She still wanted it because she let it happen.

Think about it. Do you really think they just innocently cuddled? You know just as well as I do he placed his hands on her ass and/or tits. I wouldn’t doubt it they probably made out either.

If she truly thinks that her friendships are more important than you, then I don't think it's gonna last anyways. On top of that, I don't consider her relationship with the guy a friendship; if both of them have feelings for each other and they spend time together smoking weed and drinking, they aren't just "friends". I can't say if she's been cheating on you, but there's more than a friendship there and your relationship should have boundaries for this kind of thing.

What I would do at the very least is ask her how she would feel if you were doing the same thing; if you had a girl where would be mutual feelings, whom you spend a sizable amount of time with. If she says that's okay and truly means that, then I would give up on her. If she says that it would hurt her, then tell her that it's the situation she's put you in.

Remember not to back down on the hard questions, or to let her change the subject. I learned all that the hard way.

Cuddling is cheating

I'm actually trying to believe her that it was nothing sexual. But it was a disrespectful break of trust anyways

good point mang. What I meant was if they've been having sex, but it's kinda immaterial at this point

like, the weed and the guy is the problem, she is no part of it. yeah fuck that guy and weed totally

I read half your shit and it felt like a cuck porn novel intro. that should tell you enough

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how can you even you even toy with the idea of believing that?

Guy likes her. She likes him. They cuddle. You seriously don’t think he placed his hands on her body? You really don’t think she allowed it?

Cuddling with other people is not normal relationship behavior

I had to talk her down to actually get all info while she adored my coolness as she would have thrown a tantrum if I did such a thing. I'm out of my weakling phase. I'm looking for only clarity

dude, cuddling aint playing shit. there's no fucking way that cuddling is just "playful". I can't remember the last time I cuddled with a girl and have not followed with fucking her brains out. Sorry b/ro, thots are gonna be thots. Get an eigth, puto on some music andd relax now that you just saved yourself from living with a fucking harpee cunt

It isn't, obviously. But she deserves a small chance to do better after her holidays. If she doesn't respect the boundaries I set, she can pick up her shit and leave.

>Is it disrespectful to see faithfulness in a partner as mandatory?
are you a cuck? Then yes.
Not a cuck? Then dump the whore, send pics also

I'll punch the guy anyway. Or tell his girlfriend, so she can throw him out of her house. I feel seriously scratched in my honor by this dipshit

Nope, not the revenge guy

You made the conscious decision to date an obviously emotional/psychologically unstable girl. I'm not sure why any of her is a behavior is a surprise to you. This is what you signed up for, dude. I think everyone in this thread is focusing too much on the small details and not enough on the fact that you specifically make the choice to date a crazy person whilst simultaneously complaining that she's acting crazy.

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I don't think she's that crazy. Most women are worse to begin with

>If she doesn't respect the boundaries
She obviously already doesn’t

I just established this boundary now. Before her telling me about cuddling it was just a 'I had my head on his shoulder as I was baked'. Also shitty, but nothing serious.

I'd stay away from the physical agression, It'll just make you look beta, especially if he whoops your ass. Though I would try to tell his girl and fuck her in revenge. Gather some evidence and try your luck i guess

Dude, you really are a beta cuck.

You shouldn’t HAVE to establish boundaries. The fact that you felt you had to do this shows your relationship is fucked. In a healthy loyal and honest relationship, this wouldn’t even be a conversation.

A skinny fat 42 year old who smokes tons of weed and has a bent forward neck? Don't think he stands a chance.

I don't care if I look beta if it's over anyways. Duck his or her opinion.

Also his girl is ugly as hell

It's possibly a beta trait, I don't care. But to be a cuck I need to enjoy it. I obviously don't

Do you have mental problems or are you just that desperate not to lose her? Either way relationship is over.
Firstly, no sane person would ever tell their significant other that they have a crush on someone, and even if they did, it would be long after. Reason being that nothing good will come of it telling your partner about that kind of thing.
That said,
>To be safe, she didn't talk to him for about 4 months
What does that mean? Are you implying that if she didn't stop talking to him she would've fucked him? Does she really respect you so little she would cheat that easy and openly? Did she stop contact with him by her choice or yours? Either way she ended up crawling back to him anyway, so she's a worthless scumbag.

Seriously though, cut your losses and forget her.

hahah how does your girl develop feelings for something like that, must be a >3/10

To not get manipulated and brainfucked was what I meant. But you're right. Just sad I wanted time and effort.

She is visually a solid 6/10 but a 9/10 by character. Very caring, submissive and eager to please.
He is at best a 4/10 visually, 2/10 character and 10/10 lying scumbag (did not mention children, girlfriend and being homeless without her house until deep in the shit storm)

>I don't think she's that crazy
She drinks constantly. She smokes constantly. She is incredibly poor at setting boundaries with people. She is ultra sensitive about any kind of critique of her behavior and responds incredibly aggressively whenever people bring it up to her. She's hot and cold constantly and uses neglect and withholding as punishment to OP for saying things she doesn't like. All the while she twists reality and falsely characterizes OP's behavior as jealousy and controlling because she's either unwilling or unable to face the truth about her own decisions? This girl is certifiable, user. She is grade A, 100% USDA approved psycho meat. If you knew anything about healthy relationships or what healthy people looked like then this fact would be obvious to you.

>Most women are worse to begin with
Like I said, if you knew anything about healthy relationships or what a mentally healthy woman looked like you would know what a shitty, red-pilled hunk of shit this statement is. Your inability to interact with and develop relationships with women that aren't insane is a negative reflection of you, not women.

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I actually don't know women that are not insane. Either they are gold digging whores who would suck monkey dick for cash or they look for a super model to envy their girls. They break up because you look at other women and you can't talk with them about anything because it's too much of a hassle. That is insane

>I actually don't know women that are not insane
Like I said, your inability to have relationships with women that aren't insane is a negative reflection of you, not women. I don't understand why anybody other than you should to take responsibility for your shitty taste in women.

Healthy relationship: faithful, respectful, honest. You have combined goals and individual goals. Both solve their own issues but are ready to help each other. You spend a chunk of your time together, relaxing, going out, doing stuff. But also have individual time. Talk about anything. Regular sex.

Wrong?

ffs it's not only women I dated but what I witnessed happening to buddies or in family. Always the same, no matter age, ethnicity or social standing

I don't understand in what universe a significant amount of women being insane is a more likely scenario than you just surrounding yourself with shitty people. The amount of blame shifting people like you do is amazing.

I read your post a handful of times and I don't understand it. What do you mean by 'combined goals and individual goals'? What exactly are you asking?

I love this board

>She got extremely angry and accused me of being possessive and manipulative. She doesn't want to lose a good and special friend just because I'm jealous

She's trying to deflect onto you so that you're at fault and she doesn't have to be 'in the wrong' breaking it off with you in order to fuck this other guy. OP, you need to come to terms with the fact that she's disloyal and move on. Bottom line, fuck this whore for pulling that sort of manipulative bullshit herself, you aren't being possessive just because you're asking her to hold some standard of behavior in the relationship.

I know what a healthy relationship looks like and it was one until recently.

Well, most of humanity is shit. Looks and money are everything and nobody cares for anyone but themselves. Most of humanity is insane.

But we got to this the wrong way. They aren't insane... they are women. They need an entertainer, protector and caretaker who finance their lifes and fuck them good. Else they behave like shit. Like she did bring 100km away 5 days a week.

That's an argument I can follow and that makes sense to me. But what did I wrong so this was possible? That's what's killing me

>She started smoking weed with him and a friend of his. 5 days a week she's smoking weed and drinking alcohol with them from 4 to 3. Okay, she's an adult, I can live with that
she wants to fuck him
>She told me he'd understand her better than anybody else there and that the time with him is funny and chill.
she wants to fuck him
>She told me he'd understand her better than anybody else there and that the time with him is funny and chill. But she gave in and cuddled with him being stoned! Not only that, but she grew feelings for him.
she wants to fuck him
>She got extremely angry and accused me of being possessive and manipulative
she enjoys his attention more and wants to fuck him
>Now she started her 3 week long holiday, that we would have done a little camping trip. But she prefers to stay at her's and sort out her feelings.
>I need advice please.
she obviously wants to fuck him.
dump her before she cheats on you, because guaranteed 100% if it has not happened yet, it **WILL** happen.

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>But what did I wrong so this was possible? That's what's killing me
absolutely nothing.
you've been with her 16 months, some people get bored after that long and want something new.
i bet she is under 25 because this is SUPER common for anyone under about 25, male or female.
i was like this until about 25.
after age 25 or so people tend to be able to stay in long term relations better, its just human nature.
dont sweat it, leave her, and find another she is not committed to you the same way you are to her

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She is 32. And what you said is exactly the reason I stopped dating girls younger than me.

I don't and never did waste time with short time flings. Not worth the effort.

^This guy is right OP, don't get too caught up trying to blame yourself for this. It's mostly human nature and I doubt you did anything so wrong to deserve being in a relationship with an unfaithful woman. She just lost her affection and wanted something new, as all whores usually do.

>She is 32.
time to move on, user.
she feels it, she just hasnt admitted to herself yet, or maybe she has and shes just trying to find out how/when to tell you.
if she was honestly committed to you she wouldnt be with this other dude all the time in the first place, snuggling or not

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yeah what the fuck are you even supposed to do in this situation

giving up and walking away because you're threatened by another guy seems beta but so does sticking around and getting cucked

do you just give up the second your gf develops feelings for someone else? literally every story like this that i read on Jow Forums has the girl getting butthurt at her boyfriend for being jealous and it usually pushes them away but in OP's case just ignoring the problem will most definitely get him cucked. is it just an unwinnable situation?

Well, worst thing is, a therapis friend of mine tells me I am overreacting and that such behaviour would be a symptom of fleeing pain in her life, because I know everything that stings her soul and therefore she would be pushing me away.

Possible, but in theory she deserves being dumped, he deserves being punched and his girlfriend deserves being informed.

>Why throw away something that worked well, before trying to fix it?
Because it's not working anymore. Look everyone here tells you to gtfo of this relationship. A relationship is about being considerate of your partner, she is not. She knows it, she's on edge because you can tell things are going down hill and the only way of her responding to you is in a childish and aggressive way. Every guy that cuddles with a chick has ulterior motives but the guy doesn't even give a shit about being sneaky about it and your soon to be ex is buying that shit too.

If you have at least a little self respect you call her out on that shit and end it. A partner that behaves that way and gets angry with you for wanting to talk about something that upsets the other is not a partner you can have a good relationship with.

And don't you fucking dare to take her back at any given time. Trust can only be established once, if it's broken, it will always be a reminder on how it didn't work

I think that most of you guys are a bit too sloppy with how you'd live a relationship. If you're like me looking to some day have a relationship that lasts into old age, like my and probably your grandparents did have, it's a balancing act of what is not okay but can be forgiven and what is unforgivable.

I don't want to have half a trillion short time relationships, that's exhausting and unfulfilling. I look for building a family and not just dropping my load off, as most dudes probably do.

I think you don't understand the difference between relationships in the 20/21th century and anything before that. Relationships had different values, mostly based on religion and they were a necessity to the security of life. Bonds usually weren't made because of love or just because of it, they had financial and economical reasons.

In todays world this doesn't really exist anymore so expecting to have 1 partner until you die is pretty irrational given on which continent you live and what belief system you follow as well as your own social status.

And you can go ahead and ask your grandma if she ever cuddled with a guy and smoked weed with him knowingly that he had sexual interest in her.

>I don't want to have half a trillion short time relationships
Not a trillion but the average relationship count for a guy is 2-5 sexual partners in a life time, where we can assume that they might also be relationship partners. But i don't have any data to back that up and i'm to lazy to google for an hour to find that statistics.

You are disregarding that trust is a huge factor as well as communication. The man has all right to be concerned about her behavior and all she does is being a bitch about it and openly admits to embracing someone else for emotional comfort other than her partner.

It's a pretty obvious death sentence for a relationship

From one dude to another I'm gonna give it to you straight, I know you know what has to happen, cut the relationship off bro she is going to leave you for him soon anyway from what it sounds like so it's better for you if you man up and cut it off now you will feel better. That's just my opinion tho you don't have to follow up.

tl:dr- leave the bitch before she leaves you, the relationship is dieing.

Okay, so no more relationships for me. If it's not for the long run, why even bother? Getting physical affection is so easy, only this as a reason isn't enough for the struggle.

"Acting immature"
Well she is breaking the law and being a filthy stoner which in itself is immature. You sound like a cuck. " am I overreacting?" What the fuck. Drop the bitch. She has you questioning your own sanity, making you feel insecure about yourself. Get her arrested. Why do you let yourself get stepped and walked over? Think about this for your next relationship. Work on yourself and understand what you want, whar is acceptable in your mind and for you. Don't accept degenerate things like marijuana and substance abuse. A functioning human should be able to be happy without destroying their dopamine receptors. Furthermore, she is dead set on destroying herself and you should know better than to follow the path of those who destroy themselves. Take it as a blessing, let the filth reside with the filth.

you should start seeing other women, meanwhile torture this whore by not breaking up with her

make her cheat and shame her for it

I'm currently fed up with women. But shaming her as soon as she cheats sounds like a good punishment for her. But what to do with him?

AHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHA
shaming her?
AHAHAHAHAHHAGAHAGAGAGAG

As if she gives a single shit about op's feelings or desires.
" uhm I don't uhm like it that you did that"
Jesus. Why waste a single second more.

Nothing lasts forever, nothing! People need to stop idealizing irrational concepts of ever lasting things. You don't stay the same person as you are, physically or mentally, the world doesn't stay the way it is, nor do relationships between humans stay the same.
Ask yourself how many friendships that you had in your life lasted until now and how many people just suddenly vanished as if they were never there? Stop expecting this crap, this isn't some fucking hollywood movie, holy fucking shit.

Instead of being completely bitter about it, which i know is pretty hard to do, you can appreciate that you had a great time to the point were the fun ended.

How mature. Act like a women and go all emotional REEE on her, i'm sure that'll do it

I'm sorry man. I had a girl recently that started acting different. If you have a bad feeling in your gut about things, you should listen to it.

Typical male that is analyzing everything in an effort to find anything that suggest she still wants him.

OP she doesn't want you anymore. Have some self respect and let go.

I'm with the other anons' side about dumping her but use those weeks of vacation for yourself as well. Go out with your friends and do whatever you guys love doing together; continue from where you left off your hobby; play a video game even (Witcher 1 and 3 are amazing btw) - just do everything that can get your mind off of her. Have an emotional break from her.
Stop thinking what she would be doing right now, think what you want to do right now (that which doesn't concern her).
Spend some time with yourself my dude and you'll get a clearer insight on things.

Your girlfriend is at a school with a guy she IS interested in. She is annoyed with her life (this probably means you) and went to the guy to talk to. She is smoking weed and drinking with him in all of her spare time (and "cuddling" which at the very least they are kissing). The guy is flirting with her constantly and she knows it. She is getting mad at you for being possessive even though you are dating. She prefers to stay at her house (and smoke weed with her new guy) and sort out her feelings (let the guy bang the crap out of her).

There are so many red flags here its insane.

She likes the attention you are still giving her but she already emotionally checked out of your relationship and wants a smooth transition between the two of you.

>smooth transition
Being a bitch isn't exactly a thing that you'd attribute to a smooth transition

The thing is this has been going on for months. She's with him now after a 4 months separation (I don't believe for a minute) but how long did she have this guy around before the separation? From the beginning, 16 months ago?

What does it matter now for how long it was. All that is relevant is that it's over and you are to pathetic to admit to it. I used to be the same kind of good willed shit, you will never win that way in life.

People don't change, they get changed. By their bad decisions, shitty people they socialize with and the bullshit society demands. But the outcome stays the same, true that.

Only because she still wants me to believe it, but it gets harder and harder to believe anything she says

That's what I'm doing all day everyday, my man. That's what stuck with me after I discovered the red pill. Else I'd been an emotional wreck weeks ago.

the point is the girl was never OP's, she's always had other guys

>People don't change, they get changed. By their bad decisions, shitty people they socialize with and the bullshit society demands. But the outcome stays the same, true that.
That's pure horse shit. People change because of circumstances which can be both positive and negative.

>Only because she still wants me to believe it, but it gets harder and harder to believe anything she says
No, you want to believe it. She gives clear signals that she's unwilling to break it off herself, she wants you to take the step. Seriously how fucking naive are you

Nah, the guy is at his girlfriend's place playing a good boy to not lose the house and garden and probably the car, too.

>she still wants me to believe it
no she doesn't, she is astounded you are still hanging on despite what she tells you.