I just feel like the whole world is against me

I just feel like the whole world is against me.
Like it's all just one big conspiracy
I don't want to talk to people and get to close out of fear of betrayal.
I feel like everyones laughing behind my back.
I crave for the summer break and time out of school yet I always get extremely bored and depressed.
I fear of talking to girl because I always think I'm just a laughing stock.
I'm scared of "hints" that I get because I never know if they are genuine, accidental, just being nice, or doing it just for the laugh.
I feel like I'm isolated from this world too much.
Never had a girlfriend, never had a really close friend who I could tell my problems too.
Always waiting for that magic movie-like moment where I'm sitting in the bus and a cute girl sits next to me and we start talking.
I feel like even if I do get along with someone that it's just gonna be a prank by one of my "friends"
I want to go out with friends but when I do I feel like I don't belong there, I want to be at home, alone. And when I am at home I want to go out.
I want to go out and spend time with someone that truly cares about me and is not just toying with me for giggles.

I feel like it's all a conspiracy

i'm writing this here because it's anonymous, will never have balls to talk about this IRL.

Jow Forums please help

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You sound too underage to be posting here.

17, some people started even younger

Regardless, you're underage.

I'll be 18 in a month, I dont think that my mindset will change that much in a month.

Fair enough.

All I can say is that you sound like the typical disenfranchised kid that finds his way to Jow Forums, who's finally realized his place in the world.

Large percentage of the world is in your shoes, for practically the same reasons you are and they just have to deal with it, there's no magic trick, curtain to pull, or Ashton Kutcher to pop out.

You're not the main character of this show and you haven't been prepared for that reality.

There's a difference between a background character and a comedy relief

You're definitely not comedic relief.

When I was in high school I had your attitude, I was a loner, the only difference is that I eventually realized that it was my choice whether I wanted to interact with people or live a fulfilling life. You're lucky you have anyone, I didn't talk to anyone for years

It's not as simple as "go outside" tho.