So I just ended things with my (first real) girlfriend.
We have known eachother since we were sixteen, and been a couple since we were twenty years old. That is a little over 8 years since now, so we basicly spent our entire adult life together.
>Finished school together
>Worked shitty low-paying jobs together
>Got increasingly good jobs at the same time
>Rented first apartment together
>Bought first apartment together
>Bought first house together
>Bought (the worlds best) dog together
Needless to say all our good and bad memories for almost a decade involve the other person, and to be honest I do not dare to think about what kind of mess my life would be like today if it were not for her. (Probably job-less Hobo or drug abuser)
We broke it off a couple of days ago and both of us agreed that we were more friends then anything else and that it would not end well if we kept this relationship going.
I initiated the break-up, but there was no argument, or hasitation from either of us.
(There have never really been any arguments at all during our relationship, things were almost always really good)
We decided to stay friends, since that's what we have been for the last couple of years if you take away sex and the joint accounts.
Now, I feel like utter shit, and for the first time in my life I am loosing control of everything.
Everything we built for the last 8 years is gone, I barely eat, I can't sleep and it's basically tearing me apart that things did not work.
We are still living together in our house, and will do this for a couple of weeks until we have new places available, and things are not so bad when we see each other, but when I drop her off at work, or have to to something alone it feels like I can't even breathe.
I'm worried that this feeling will be even worse, if that's even possible, after we move to our own separate places and that I won't be able to get myself out of this hole.
Conclusion in next post