Hello Jow Forums, I need some emotional advice and support.
My little sister has been going out with a former classmate of hers for the past two years. From what I have heard he is a decent, regular kid. My parents, and especially me, have had objections to the relationship due to the following reasons: 1. He comes from a very troubled family. His parents divorced when he was a toddler, and he has been growing up with his mother. His mother has had severe depression, and is emotionally completely dependent on him. He has been suffering under this. As a result, 2. He has had to repeat a grade twice already. My sister on the other hand is the best student of her entire grade. She graduated with honors this year. Because of that, both my parents and I do not consider him "marriage material". However, neither my parents nor me have properly met the guy before. Unfortunately I live on the other side of the country, so I couldn't check him out.
Yesterday, I made a routine phone call to my parents. We were talking about all kinds of things. Then, to the end, my mother mentioned that my sister and her bf would be on a trip at the end of August (I had already known about that). Naturally, when together on a trip alone, they would go on to have sex. My parents had told my sister that they would not allow her to have sex before her graduation. So in light of this trip, I told my Mom that my Dad and her should go and take the guy out to dinner and to get to know him a little bit better. After all, they have to this day not been properly introduced to the guy. What my mother then said to me made me feel sick to my stomach: "Well, you should know that we have let your sister sleep over at her bf's for the last few weeks." This made me feel disgusted at my own family, for numerous reasons. During the last years, when discussing the relationships at my sister's HS, my parents had often said that they were not okay with my sister sleeping around like some of her fellow classmates were doing (not that she would have anyways). So I always had thought that they would be able to make my sister understand the spiritual meaning of love and sexuality. But apparently, that was not the case. During the same call, my mother told me that "I didn't have to worry about my sister getting pregnant (i.e. she had already taught her everything about contraception*)." In earlier conversations during the last two years, she had reassured me that "my sister was to not get pregnant before her graduation under any circumstances." As if this was what love and sex are about. No problem if the guy that we don't care for (or even know for that matter) is our daughter's "first", as long as he doesn't knock her up.
Owen Bailey
What disgusts me about this isn't that my sister lost her virginity to this guy: She is a young woman, and madly in love with this boy. She is raging with hormones. If I had been in her shoes, I probably would have done the same. I perfectly understand. What disgusts me is this weird way my parents talk about sexuality, as if it was merely transactional, completely oblivious of the powerful emotional things happening "behind the curtain", metaphorically speaking. The fact that, due to my sister not having a license yet, my father has literally driving her by car to her bf's house so that the guy can plow her (and actively knowing that). How weird is that? Can you imagine anything more cucked? I personally would have been more comfortable with my sister sneaking around behind my parents' back to get to have sex with her bf. At least THAT would have been normal teenager behavior. But my parents themselves preparing her deflowering feels so strange to me. And they don't even know or like the guy. Why do they allow this to happen then. If my daughter had a bf, at least I would first meet him and check him out before giving my OK for the relationship moving into a more serious direction. Isn't that what "normal people" do who are not particularly conservative. Your "first" is somebody you can and will have an intense emotional bond and connection with if done properly. Especially if you then later go on to marry. What kills me is that my parents do not understand this: They have taken from my sister away the opportunity to have this very special and unique connection with her later spouse**. And all they can think of is "Let's hope she doesn't get pregnant".
John Diaz
It just pains me to realize (even though I already knew before) that my parents understand the world around them and the meaning that actions can carry less than me, even though they are grown-ups. That their understanding of sexuality is infantile and prepubescent. I had always thought that my family were more affluent and conservative than the average, but it seems that at least the latter is not the case. My mother was a conservative Catholic girl who only ever slept with my father (they met at uni). I had thought that at least they would urge my sister to wait until university, so that she can meet a nice guy to settle with there. Maybe it is also me. During the last few years, I have moved far away from home to pursue my university education. Even when I come back home during Christmas and summer breaks, I have had barely any quality time with my family. When I went away, my sister was a girl in her early to mid teens who had just been hit by puberty. Since then, I have barely had a conversation with her. She has really changed in the last few years. She is only on social media and has a lot of beta orbiters. I think I think it really went to her head. But maybe it is also me - it is just so weird to see my sister all grown up now. When I left she was still a girl, and now she is a young woman. I also have the feeling that I neglected her.
This has all really disturbed me during the last 24 hrs or so. Maybe you guys will make me feel better. I would really appreciate some compassion and reasonable advice. Do you also have some suggestions as to how t not bring this up in any future arguments?
*I think it is important to note here that in my social class and my part of the country, teenage pregnancies are practically nonexistent, so my mother being scared of that is completely and utterly ridiculous imo. **(considering that they do not think of the current bf as proper marriage material)
Daniel Cox
Are you retarded? It's her life. In this day and age, sex is meaningless except to get each other off. Get over it.
Justin Anderson
>my father has literally driving her by car to her bf's house so that the guy can plow her (and actively knowing that). How weird is that?
pretty fucking weird senpai
Josiah Myers
I don't know how you read all that in such a short time but thanks for replying to OP, since no one else is going to read that wall of text, at least SOMEONE here will.
Eh I was writing as he was posting his garbage. My response still stands.
Matthew Gonzalez
Yes it does
Noah Cook
>I don't think he's marriage material Then good thing you don't have to marry him. Your sister gets to make her own choice in the matter. >sex is deeply emotional and spiritual And your sister is in love, and wants to share a deep emotional and spiritual connection with the guy she loves. She's not out gangbanging the local football team.
Stop being a creepy autistic fuck, and stop fixating on your sister's sex life.
Adrian Thompson
I think the only thing weird here is your obsession with your sister sexuality. You need to stop for your own good and for the future of your relationship with your family user. They are simply giving her freedom if she squander it to fuck her life up it's up to her unfortunately, she is already at the age where she can decide what to do.
Nolan Flores
>Can you imagine anything more cucked? N O . . .
Nolan James
Based on the replies, I gather that OP is a controlling fuckboy who likes to stick his nose in everyone else's business, can't wait until he lands a gf then starts trying to be super controlling with her and saying who she can and can't hang out with and what she can and can't do, OP is absolutely one of those guys, then his gf will kick him to the curb and he'll have no idea what he did wrong.
Matthew Lewis
THIS is how moralfags ACTUALLY think.
Gavin Howard
>Stop being a creepy autistic fuck, and stop fixating on your sister's sex life. >I think the only thing weird here is your obsession with your sister sexuality.
I am aware that this is extremely autistic. Maybe I didn't express myself explicitly enough: My problem lies less with my sister, and more with my parents: The fact that they are setting my sister up with a guy THAT THEY DON'T EVEN LIKE. The fact that my Dad, the giant fucking autist that he is, is driving up to the bf - who he has not even had a SINGLE fucking conversation with, so that he can plow my sister (almost like in these ridiculous virgin vs. Chad memes). Isn't that something that, you know, normal (as in not particularly conservative) people do: Having a proper introduction to the bf?... The fact that they talk about sex and love in a terribly sterile way. "We hope she don't get STDs". Like who the fuck gets STDs nowadays except for fucking crack whores? This is what love is about? (Not) getting STDs? Not) getting pregnant? That's what a cynic would say.
OP it is weird you are so obsessed about your sister's sex life.
Anyway its her life and if your parents are ok with her actions there is nothing you can do as you have zero authority over your sister. Furthermore, you shouldn't judge the guy until you know him. And seing how controlling you are, there is no wonder why she hasn't introduce the guy to you.
Nicholas Martin
Protip: next time instead of wall of text, put this >tl:dr I want to fuck my sister
Lucas Garcia
OP, along with Orange Traitor, you ruined this week for me with that story... I'm shocked.
YOU are her brother, and you need to ask yourself if you'd rather save her and have her hate you, or let her suffer but love you.
I would never allow my sister to date a cunt like that. No way.
Jonathan Turner
Your father is letting his kid live. She's obviously old enough to go out on her own and travel without parental supervision, so she's old enough to choose whether or not she wants to be sexually active.
Could be that your parents understand that, and understand your sister has made her choice, and now are just hoping for the best outcome. Which is basically what parenting is at that age. You raise your kid the best you can, and when they come of age, you hope what you taught them sticks, and nothing goes too wrong.
Noah Price
>imouto is a shut in virgin lesbian who has never even been kissed I am so fucking glad I don't have to deal with shit like this. If she was straight I'd probably have killed a couple kids by now trying to keep her safe. FUCK dealing with people trying to bang your little sister, it's way too easy to just redneck it and show up at their house with a gun and catch charges.
Jacob Harris
You don't have a sister.
Samuel Carter
You have a naive and childish view of the world. Your parents are trying to let your sister have the freedom they think she deserves. It's much better to do this than to try and control her behavior. "love" does not matter and never did. Teh worse thing they coudl do is what you want them to do, prohibit her from seeign her boyfriend so she has to sneak to go see him. They them have to pretend to not see her escaping or make her stop seeing him for good. So you either created a house built up on lies or a over controlling one. Ketting her "experiment and giving her suport while she still live with them and they can support her and stop her from hurting herself, worse comes to worse, is one of the better alternatives. you are being idealistic in the ideal way families should behave sold to you by the media you consume.
Xavier Baker
The only thing you didn't mention is that you'd rather take your sister's virginity before any other guy do it.
Jordan Cook
Barack obama is a nigger who kept children away from their parents if they came her illegally, trump fixed the shit and yet he is the bad guy. He tries to not go to war with Russia and he is the bad guy for doing so If there are any traitors they are you you fucking socialists piece of shit.
Chase Gray
top kek this seriously OP, apart from the supposed fact that you are angry with your parents, you do sound like you want to plow your sister
Sebastian Jackson
>I would let a future homeless man bang my little sister Keeping people from defiling your little sister is literally half your fucking job as an older brother. You fucking suck and I hope any potential sister you may or may not have takes every dick in your country, catches AIDS and gets addicted to heroin, because apparently you don't have a responsibility to prevent that shit from happening in your role as her last line of defense as her older brother.
Benjamin Robinson
That's just factually incorrect.
Isaiah Thompson
>the camps totally haven't been there doing this shit for over eight years it's all the cheetos fault #resist Sure thing faggot.
Julian Harris
>That's just factually incorrect. That's how Putin & TrumPuppet works.
Thomas Ramirez
I will not excuse for being a (perhaps a bit over-)protective older brother to my sister. This is how it should be like: youtube.com/watch?v=vHK7df6RM2k What kind of completely apathetic individuals are you? It's just natural to worry about your family, especially as an older sibling. You are probably completely atomized big city Americans?
Thank you, at least somebody who understands.
>Which is basically what parenting is at that age. You raise your kid the best you can, and when they come of age, you hope what you taught them sticks, and nothing goes too wrong. >Ketting her "experiment and giving her suport while she still live with them and they can support her and stop her from hurting herself, worse comes to worse, is one of the better alternatives. you are being idealistic in the ideal way families should behave sold to you by the media you consume. You two are probably right to a certain degree. I myself am very conservative and idealistic. Especially because I was lacking such a person as a rock in my life when I was growing up. It is extremely painful in some ways to see that nobody in your family shares your fundamental principles about life, especially when you're very passionate about them. Even sometimes risking getting ridiculed. Of course, in the large realm of things, I agree with "live and let live". But it is so painful to see people that you most care about not taking your advice, and even sometimes ridiculing you. This is really what my thread is actually about. Do you have any advice, especially for this circumstance?
>Do you have any advice, especially for this circumstance?
That fucker, who's dishonored your little sister... If you don't force him marry her, I won't respect you anymore.
Owen Kelly
All I can tell you is that you need to put your foot down and directly challenge your parents, and put the fear of God into whoever this useless piece of subhuman trash is that wants to get his rocks off in your little sister. You are going to be walking into a fight that may end with you trading blows with both the dirtrat and your father, but that is the price of keeping your family safe. I accepted years ago that protecting my little sister may involve doing things that end with me jailed or killed; I welcome it. I am her older brother, I have a responsibility to protect her, and I am going to fulfill that responsibility no matter the cost.
Be a good brother, OP. You know what you have to do. Godspeed.
Christian Morris
Also, to clarify something for all posters: 1. It is very clear to me that I cannot (and do not want to) control my sister's sexuality. But I would have thought it better for her to wait until university. Uni is a decent place to meet a nice guy and lose your virginity. Not your HS crush. Also, a lot of guys are come from more affluent families. Guys that age also are more mature. Not few of my former uni classmates stayed together with their uni (virgin) girlfriends for long after graduation. Heck, my own parents met while studying. 2. The bf is the textbook definition of a broken individual. My own parents have said that they do NOT want the guy to ever marry my sister, or even have a relationship with him. My question then is, why do they let her pursue this relationship in the first place? What kind of cognitive dissonance is that? When calling my mom, she told me that my sister was not sleeping over at her bf's, but that "I should not worry, after all, they had already discussed with my sister that he is not a guy to marry" literally almost in the same sentence. Whyyyyyy? What's with the cognitive dissonance? Why do they actively support the relationship with some bum they don't even care for?
>That fucker, who's dishonored your little sister... If you don't force him marry her, I won't respect you anymore. lel I don't think you're being completely serious here?
If the dude is treating her well, then it's all good. Plain and simple. >Uni is a decent place to lose your virginity lol wat? Uni is even worse than high school when it comes to that
Bentley Barnes
You just have to accept you cannot control everything. You do what you can, when you can to provide a safe place for your loved ones when shit hits the fan, but you cannot keep everyone safe all the time. And you certainly can't protect people from themselves.
You don't have to like her choices, but you have to respect her ability to make them, even if you think they are wrong.
The truth is, even if the chances are low, this guy could end up being your brother-in-law. Perhaps you should start trying to focus on having a more positive relationship with him, instead of just writing him off without actually knowing anything about him.
And seriously, stop thinking about your sister fucking. There's no reason for it.
Landon Scott
The thing is that my potential sister is a human being that has her own wishes desires and make her own decision, I will/would protect her until she can "protect" herself. Stop treating women as objects without conciseness user. The best you can hope to achieve is convince them of your point of view. Talk to your sister about this issue if you can. I'm assuming you aren't completely socially inept so you will know to have a big degree of delicacy. You just need to try and convince her as you would anyone else. And no, internet discussions aren't convincing anyone but yourself. Worse comes to worse say you don't like her decision but you support her and will be there for her when she needs you. It's the best you can do as in the end she is a completely different person from you.
Brandon Cruz
>literally almost in the same sentence. Whyyyyyy? What's with the cognitive dissonance? Why do they actively support the relationship with some bum they don't even care for they think she will just have sex with the guy and that's it, Your parent's have a very different view of sex from you so they don't see it as bad.
Benjamin Hughes
>I don't think you're being completely serious here? I'm COMPLETELY SERIOUS. Do whatever it takes: break his arm, leg, etc., but make him marry that desecrated girl. That's your sacred duty as a senior brother. Good luck.
Brody Price
I have looked it up, and this isn't the place to have this discussion. It's inconsiderate to OP, and I'm sorry I even said anything in the first place.
Robert Wright
You are right, sorry too, I will drop the subject since i don't want to go to/pol/ as that place is forsaken by god and all that's holy.
Colton Jones
>was not sleeping over *was now sleeping over
>Be a good brother, OP. You know what you have to do. Godspeed. >I'm COMPLETELY SERIOUS. Do whatever it takes: break his arm, leg, etc., but make him marry that desecrated girl. That's your sacred duty as a senior brother. Good luck. It's already too late, Sir. The deed has already been done. I am angry at my parents for not being conservative enough. If I had nothing to lose, I might still talk. The thing is that I am scared of them disinheriting me if I make them to angry. In the end, I can't influence them. I have shared my "Puritan" views with them in the past. They do not share them or approve of them. In the end, I would risk a family feud that I definitely could not win with the entire family against me. :/ It would be different if I had a conservative family behind my back. But then I would not have to be writing this. Also, I am literally 100s of miles away from home and could not possibly get back home before 2-3 weeks.
>lol wat? Uni is even worse than high school when it comes to that In Europe, we don't have community colleges. Provided she goes to the right (good) university, and studies the right thing (e.g. law, medicine), there will be a lot of nice, career-focused guys that I would definitely prefer her to go out with over her current bf whose grades are so poor that he didn't even manage to graduate this year and who has to repeat his last year.
>The best you can hope to achieve is convince them of your point of view. Talk to your sister about this issue if you can. I'm assuming you aren't completely socially inept so you will know to have a big degree of delicacy. You just need to try and convince her as you would anyone else. Well, I had already thought about "putting her on the right path", "giving her advice". I also wanted to tell her how to potentially help her bf and put him on the right track. I'm just angry that my parents cut me short.
And it could be that she ends up meeting some asshole at university that ruins her life, and treats her like shit. Or she doesn't meet anyone that makes her as happy as her current boyfriend.
She may not want a lawyer or a doctor. That may not be the life she wants.
Josiah Reyes
Does your sister swallow?
Joshua Cooper
Lol why do you even care about that. Focus on your goals instead of other people, Jesus Christ. If she's happy leave her be
Aaron Edwards
You're being incredibly overbearing on someone who has their shit provenly together and that you are not the caretaker of. You're treading the kind of behavior that risks getting you cut out of peoples' lives for refusing to accept them leading their own. How you feel does not matter, you can accept your sister as her own individual or cause strain on the relationship until you're seen less and paid less mind to since what you have to say is negative and predicted before you have began to say it. Are you single OP?
Carson Hernandez
You do know all of this is your opinion and your opinion alone has no bearing on the freedoms and reality of others, right?I mean ffs you're claiming if she goes to the right specific career field in the 'right' universities by your opinion that this tangent of what defines good decisions and success you're going off on will be real, which is entirely coming from your opinion and is in its entirety opinion. You sound incredibly overbearing and somewhat narcissistic, OP.
Carter Price
>driving your daughter to some dudes house specifically so they can bang what the fuck
Honestly your parents' actions are weird, but if she's already graduated hs then she's old enough to make her own decisions. Also it's pretty dumb to think that having divorced parents somehow makes you a worse quality person... like what the fuck, how many autists on this website had conservative parents that stayed married and a nice supportive mummy. Maybe you should meet the guy before writing him off just because he has some family/school issues. At least she's not fucking Chad.
Lucas Lee
> Provided she goes to the right (good) university, and studies the right thing (e.g. law, medicine), there will be a lot of nice, career-focused guys that I would definitely prefer her to go out with over her current bf whose grades are so poor that he didn't even manage to graduate this year and who has to repeat his last year. So what if she doesn't want to be in Law or Medicine? Unlike here in America, Education is mostly free, no? Are you also gonna control what she takes even if she hates it?
I dunno why you're so harsh on a guy you never even fucking met. His life is already hard as it is between his mother and school, imagine some fucking guy come up to him and said "you can't date my sister, you're a broken individual". Like have some empathy, OP, goddamn.
