I have a weird problem that many wouldn't see as one, I have a weirdly high libido for a female...

you wont, you might get a guy with a huge sex drive but once you "calm down" he will have a much higher libido than you, which will cause you problems. You need to have your priorities in a mate and get someone that fits, but since you are in a relationship i would advise to try and stick to it, promiscuity is never appealing.

How? Just advertise I'm a horny girl looking for a man that's willing to go a lot and dominate, and hope he also happens to be monogamous and a nice guy? Sounds like a worse deal

>the male partner is in charge of sexual things like when and how and how often
So you're retarded?

Assumption are the killers of relationships. Try to talk it out before thinking of ending things with him. Even if it doesn't work it's better to have tried to make it work than not.

Yeah, look, this is sending out confusing signals. Your bf isn't magically going to read your mind and change. He's obviously into you, just space out the sex with a few helpful hints during the day.

Many guys anywhere near your age will be more than happy to have a girl with a high libido. It isn't on you that if he can't even be okay with you masturbating when he's not in the mood. Talk to him about it if you think it bothers him, but don't suppress yourself if it's just been bad luck finding guys with a healthy enough sex drive. Try to make things work, communicate, and work together on solutions. If it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out.

My current mate meets a lot of my criteria, just not too much in bed.. But I'm the one that's not normal, and I feel like its resolved if I can lower my drive a lot, that's all I want to do

A little probably, but no just submissive

Usually, a strong sexual drive in women indicates sexual compulsion, which suggest you were somehow traumatised (sexually or otherwise) as a child and or now using sex a way to regulate emotion, much like over-eaters. If this is at all true for you, look into it.

try not to be such whitekinght while talking, most of your advice is good, but by god you make it all sound creepy as shit.

You're not listening. A horny teenager is exactly normal. Teenager guys finding stupid reasons to doubt themselves is exactly normal. Talk to him about it. That's how relationships work.

Everything is fine except sex and its the LAST thing I want to end a relationship I'm happy in over, he feels a compromise is best of trying to meet in the middle

You are normal just on a part of your life where you have a unusual high sex drive, talk it out with him, he should also be on that stage of his life and it might all just be miscommunication.

We have talked about it, I had the same conversation with my last partner too that I kind of need a bit more than is given and he got frustrated and told me I need to accept he just doesn't have that desire I do and I need to slow down a bit and he'll try to keep up

Yeah, a compromise is usually the best option, see what would be ideal with your situation and what would be tolerable, try to give up the ideal and do not go below the tolerable. relationships are all about trying to make it work with people that have different tastes/ values.

I know it's uncomfortable to do it, but ask if you taking care of it make is a problem with him, if he can't accept it, like I assume your previous guy didn't, and doesn't step up to complete the task, this becomes is a big issue in the relationship.

Communication is only getting me so far, I have a high drive and he has an average to lower drive, he can't meet mine and I need to slow it down to meet his, yeah I can masturbate but, well the best way to describe it is that I feel like I'm cheating on him with my right hand

You're not. Being a couple doesn't mean everything has to be a couple activity now. Just like how both of you probably enjoy doing some other activities alone, masturbating is completely normal in a relationship.

How would I look into it? Just search it and see what others do? Or would I need professional help of some kind?

Then you should try to avoid it, know you aren't, but if it messes with you mind in such a way it's not good to be doing it.

But wouldn't it be easier to find some way to reduce my sex drive so I don't have to?

Yes, if you know there’s a trauma history, and you want to do something to change (which I assume you do), talk to a professional, and, under their guidance, develop healthier ways to deal with emotion. I hope you’re not surprised that bad experiences as a child leave an effect on you? Even if you weren’t having these problems, you would still need to deal with the underlying cause. That goes for everyone.

Be careful with self-medication, talk to your family doctor or your personal doctor if you have one about this, and if it's a possibility at all. The last thing you would want is to fuck up your hormones in this developmental stage you are in.

No. It's a normal part of being someone your age. Fucking with your hormones is a terrible way to deal with this.

What could a doctor prescribe? Urge away? When I tried birth control they had to take me off because I had what they considered a moderately serious response, so I don't think anything like that could really help me

I liked to think that as time distanced me from certain experiences I'd forget about it and the little habits and things I developed would just fade with it, I know trauma can leave long term issues but didn't think my drive could be a result of it, I would've thought the opposite.. How could I then tell my bf I need therapy and that's why I like sex?

What's the worst it could do? I'm already developed, lower hormones couldnt easily render me infertile either

"tell my bf I need therapy and that's why I like sex?"
like that.

That said I'm not as convinced that an 18 year old with a strong sex drive is the necessarily result of some repressed trauma.

get into orgasm denial

I'm not gonna trow random names of medicines around, especially in this case. But yeah you should listen to your doctors.

Its not exactly something I'd like to discuss on Jow Forums, and maybe not the root of my problem, but a valid point I should maybe see someone for some things that went on 12-16

Then see someone. You can get affordable access to a therapist online. Just check their references and credentials.

It’s pretty obvious what this means, and now I’m even more convinced that this is the major cause of your problem, like I said. As far as telling your boyfriend, if you had a scar on your face, you’d probably tell him what caused it, right? What you went through is very serious, and is probably affecting you in more ways than just this one. Just tell him you’ve been having emotional difficulties lately, and are going to see someone about it. He doesn’t have to know the details, but be open and honest with him, that’s a big part of recovering, especially if you’re planning on staying with him.

I know how you feel as a guy with a similar libido.

>It’s pretty obvious what this means, and now I’m even more convinced that this is the major cause of your problem
OP just said it was a possibility, not the main issue. Sexual abuse isn't the only thing that determines libido.

Alright there buddy, I stand by my advice though.

Its not a problem. There are countless men that will go and go. Just do yourself a favour and wear protection and be safe.

He knows about some of it, he's seen me have weird reactions to normal things and I had to explain why I do things, but he doesn't like to hear about it or acknowledge it. He said it makes him feel weird to know about things that happened to me

How do you deal with it?

I always do and I have long term partners only

That’s understandable, but it’s a part of who you are, and now (hopefully) you’ll work on resolving it, and if he’s not willing to help you or understand you, then maybe this relationship isn’t meant to last forever.

make him snort coke, he can fuck for hours on that

Your probably have some issues that need to be dealt with in your past?

Damn I wish I had a gf like you lol. This is my fetish