Im done! im so fucking done! I just broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years! I dont think he even cheated on me...

There are plenty dudes who have exactly 0 female friends. Stay chill and install tinder or go to football match to meet new bf.

Feel free to ask them beforehand about how many girl friends they have.

>i had a freak out because he didnt let me manipulate him emotionally and would pay attention to his female friends instead of me

sounds like you got what you deserved lady. The power dynamic was in his favor and you were the loser in this round.

Sadly if you go with a beta orbiter, im sure you have some, they will be boring to you, and not thrilling.

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>I honestly just think of men who have female friends as beta orbiters
But I feel absolutely no sexual or romantic attraction to my female friends. They're like dudes to me.

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what do you mean by all this? how am i tye loser if i was loyal and he didnt wabt me to leave?
and are you implying hes an orbiter or the one with orbiters?

When you're 18, yeah you pretty much want to fuck every girl you know. Makes it hard to be friends with females. When you get older, and your desire to put your dick in everything subsides, it becomes much easier to maintain a platonic relationship with someone of the opposite sex.

your ex on the right
your beta orbiter rebound on the left

prepare for disappointment and regret.

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Why is it necessary to have female friends? I'm not op just curious

Sometimes you happen to interact with a female that is cool but not sexy and so you make friends with her.
It's not a necessity, it's something that happens in a spontaneous way.

So you hang out with the "not like other girls" girl? What's the point when you can find a guy just like her?

>What's the point when you can find a guy just like her?
I can and I do, but it's not a good reason to reject positive people in my life.

It's not, the same way it's not necessary to be friends with anyone in particular. It's just how friendships work. You meet someone that you bond with, and you become friends. The dynamic isn't actually any different than it is with male friends, assuming you are actually friends and not keeping them around for other reasons.

If your longterm gf asked you to stop seeing her, would you?

Okay this makes sense, thanks. I just always assume the guy likes the girl or wants to have sex with her, but I guess it's possible for real friendship

If she strongly feels that my friend is a threat to our relationship I would try to explain her that it's not the case, but if her fear persists I would stop seeing that person, because my partner is more important.

You seem like a loyal bf, very logical.

The better question is, would I get into a long term relationship with a girl that couldn't handle me being friends with another girl?

That answer is no.

>i would let my gf emotionally manipulate me into cutting ties with friends
dude dont, dont reward that kind of bad behavior

>That answer is no.
Idk I meant that you're already in the relationship, and she suddenly stopped trusting the girl, etc., at the beginning she would be fine with it

I feel the same way but about my gf.

Shes one of those girls who only has guy friends and she leads every single one of them on. She also likes to go out to bars and let guys buy her free drinks. She craves the attention of guys everywhere

I mean, I can't completely blame you for feeling that way. The problem is, particularly when you're young, some guys do keep girls around for that reason, not because they actually want to be friends.

It's a tough thing to figure out. But the way I see it, if you don't trust your partner not to cheat on you, you probably shouldn't be with them in the first place.

And if your boyfriend is going to cheat on you, making him jettison the girls he has around won't actually keep him from cheating on you, it will just make him cheat with someone else.

I don't see it as manipulation if her fear is sincere.
After all, only me and my female acquaintances truly know how we feel about each other.
The only way I can prove to a girlfriend that they will never take priority over her is to use clear action.

giving into her irrational fear and cutting ties with your friends only validates her paranoid delusion
that there was really something to worry about.

u dumb then?

To be fair, if you were a guy and your girlfriend had lots of male friends, Jow Forums would respond very differently
Incels confirmed

I think the opposite, it's refusing to cut ties with them that would be suspicious.
If these people are just superficial acquaintances it's normal that reassuring your gf would take priority over your friendship with them.

That's a different case, and it depends on the circumstances. Like, if the friend started to become sexually forward with me, or cross personal boundaries, yeah, I'm going to stop being friends with her. But that would happen without my partner having to request it. Not only because it's disrespectful to my girlfriend and our relationship, but because it violates the friendship and boundaries of that friendship.

Now if my girlfriend had no actual valid reason to be worried, and was just being insecure, or jealous, I'd really have to consider the relationship. I'm not a fan of jealousy and insecurity, and I'd really have to weigh the potential of the relationship against my friendship.

That being said, I would have much less of a problem with my girlfriend feeling uncomfortable with new female friends. There's not an established friendship there, and I'd be much more likely to give up the friendship.

Like I said, it depends on the circumstances.

>ISOLATION AND DOMESTIC ABUSE: HOW ABUSERS ISOLATE VICTIMS
it applies to both genders
healthyplace.com/blogs/verbalabuseinrelationships/2011/11/isolation-is-key-for-the-ability-to-abuse

But it does not apply to all men. Many of us just want to conquer, in many ways if you know what I mean. We will not be satisfied with one, we always want more, that is the reason of men.
OP could have been right.

Do you usually have feelings of hatred for women?

>I don't see it as manipulation if her fear is sincere.
unless she's caught you in the act sleeping with one of your female friends or you have displayed an outright desire to do that with one of your female friends, her fear is the furthest thing from sincere and if a girl is using her 'fear of abandonment' (selfish insecurity) as an end justifies the means excuse for you to end a relationship with a friend or family she is an egotistical sociopath. I honestly hope your post is just bait.

what if he did something not sexual but very emotionally and physically suggestive? and then tried to logically justify it as something innocent?
i broke up with him but i made the thread because im very confused. I feel like for all the loyalty he would promise me, doing that kind of thing is disrespectful to me. I dont even know what side I want to hear. humans are naturally social so its natural to want a relationship. I may be possessive but I feel frustrated because he always played himself off as the nice guy. And I feel like the bad guy when I put so much into our relationship and what I wanted from him was simple.
but I dont beleive hes an evil person either. He always communicated to me. I just dont know what to think..

What did he do

Nice going dumb bitch

my point about the relationship thing is its natural so I wouldnt want to go against forces by not having one but cant help but feel like life is rigged against me since guys dont seem loyal at all. So why try?

hes done things that might imply affection or very over caring about someone. I dont want to go into detail incase he sees this.

>unless she's caught you in the act sleeping with one of your female friends or you have displayed an outright desire to do that with one of your female friends, her fear is the furthest thing from sincere
She can trust me and know I have no plans, but she can't do the same with some random woman I know.

You broke up with him, why does it matter in the 1 in a million chance he sees this

he fucking

He

i hate him I hate my life hes an affection whore I want to die . badly

Yeah. Some men are assholes. The point is you don't make blanket assements of every situation involving a man and a woman.

OP very well could have been right. I mean, she's not right, because she's really just some dude larping on Jow Forums to try and rustle some jimmies. But hypothetically, If she were real, it doesn't mean she reached the right conclusion for the right reasons, which is just as important.

i swear im not larping I really thought I would be with him forever and it really feels like theres no meaning in life and no guy will ever be as loyal to me as I want

Well yeah, if you have unrealistic expectations, no one will ever meet them.

>guy being loyal
>unrealistic expectation
just laugh op. none of this shit matters. might as well laugh at all of it. feels infinitely better than the unceasing pain

Maybe if you are as loyal to the guy as you are asking him to be.

You did the right thing.
Whether he was cheating or not, if you expressed to him that you were uncomfortable with him being so close to his female friends, he should've repsected it and cut off contact if he truly wanted to be with.
That this wasn't the case actually just makes it clear that he probably was cheating on you.

i fucking am didnt you read what I said

thats what im thinking but the thing that fucks me up is hes the one that told me about these things anyway which is how I found out. So why would he tell me about that but not confess about cheating?

Me and my girlfriend have no friends of the opposite sex, except the partners of of our friends, but it's not someone we see or talk to in private.
We are in a happy and loving relationship and we both agree that this is how we want it.
It's possible to find someone who might want to have the relationship you're looking for, however you might need to get your arguments in order if you meet someone nice who isn't completely into that stuff.
It can take some time reached this point of loyalty, but it is worth it.

Because somehow it has been made out to be normal in modern society to have friends of the opposite sex when you're commited to a relationship, even though in most cases people just want those friends to fuck them.

Again, if he couln't respect that you were uncomfortable with his female friends, he's not worth it.

I mean, people always say trust is one of the most important thing in a relationship, and that is of course true, but respecting each others feelings and wants is more important.
You shouldn't feel forced to trust your partners if he tells he's going over to a female friend of his to "hang out".

Or, she came into his life, knowing he had already established plaronic friendships with other females, and demanded he change his life and relationships to make her feel better. In which case, what she's doing is unfair.

The truth is, none of us know what's actually going on because OP won't actually share the details of what's going on. Without the details, we're all just tossing about advice that may or may not actually apply to the situation.

>The truth is, none of us know what's actually going on because OP won't actually share the details of what's going on
>she came into his life, knowing he had already established plaronic friendships with other females, and demanded he change his life and relationships to make her feel better
Then stop making stuff up, it doesn't help the situation.

theyre being hypothetical, which sometimes helps because the things people assume are sometes things I didnt realize or havent thought about enough. Sometimes you just need to hear it from someone instead of think it.

then she should break up with him if he does something like that and she feels he's not trustworthy, none of these scenarios should end up with them staying together unless there's full 100% trust in the relationship. I get this is all hypothetical but it bothers me someone would actually consider cutting off a long time friend because his gf feels uncomfortable with their friendship, it doesn't stop at cutting off friends with these possessive types either.

Girl, the fault lies in you. Stop being a crazy bitch. The fact that your bf has female friends means literally nothing. Are you really this insecure?

Also insecure as fuck.

Its just nice to have friends in general user. Once you've been alone for a long time company and people to chat with are really nice to have. You can have a partner at the same time and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

He dodged a bullet, OP
You did him a favor.

OP's thought proccess:
I want man who will respect me as a whaman
>BUT I CAN BE THE ONLY WHAMAN IN HIS LIFE
I don't want him to be autistic around people.
>BUT HE CAN'T HAVE SOCIAL LIFE OUTSIDE ME
I wish all men could just see that we are all people
> BUT MY BOYFRIEND CAN'T HAVE FRIENDS OR SOCIAL LIFE, JUST ME

grow up.

What's his definition of friend, seems alot of guys think that includes sex.

Fiancé and I are the same, just group friends. I've never met a guy who wants to be just friends, they always sexualize everything, make comments, etc. that's why I don't give them a chance anymore.

stop going for chads who have pussy lined up for them

Holy shit, I came here to make a thread about struggling with this exact thing and it's the first thread I see. I haven't broken up with him but I'm feeling very confused. I keep telling myself to calm down and not to worry about it because nothing's probably happening and I don't want to be controlling/abusive but I can't shake my paranoia. I'm sure much of it lies in insecurity but I'm very afraid because I don't want our relationship to fall apart from lack of trust. Unfortunately I am extremely distrustful of people and have never fully trusted anyone, not even my own best friend. I'm sure I want to be with my fiance for the rest of my life and I'm scared that everything is just in the air now.

So you're a latina

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Eh, I just googled this problem and I suggest OP do this too. I feel a little better and more prepared on how to handle it. If only I could work on the real problems - my insecurity and distrust of people. Good luck, OP.

Sure, you should never demand anything from a partner, but it's okay to express your feelings and if he/she doesn't respond positively and respectfully, you're free to leave without feeling bad about it.
Or stay and feel bad about having a partner who doesn't respect your wishes.

send nudes, that will make him feel extra small

>!
Jesus fuck no one cares.