ITT: Ask the opposite gender anything

I confessed to my close female friend and I got the expected answer. Should I avoid her entirely from now on or can being friends still be a thing. I'm so much more hurt than I thought I would be and I literally have no idea what the fuck to do.

Why are women in their thirties and forties so attracted to me?
How do I capitalize on this trait?

If any guy compliments me I don't really care. It doesn't matter if they're ugly or not. I just say "Oh, thanks :)" and go about my business

The only compliments I actually take to heart are ones I get from girls.

It depends on you. Can YOU handle it?
In your place, I'd keep falling for her, so I'd rather keep some distance.

It depends more on what the guy says and how well I know him than what he looks like.

"You're beautiful" or "I think you're very capable" is flattering. "Nice tits" is sketchy at best. "I'd love to eat your ass" is downright creepy. There's a big difference between a genuine compliment and a guy airing his personal wank material.

It's also completely different if it's a stranger or someone you know and trust. "Hey bitch" is playful and funny when it comes from someone you know genuinely likes and respects you. It's an entirely different story when it comes from some rando. Same goes for flirting.

Not really when it's happening, it's gradual. However it feels very strange if something rubs against it. It's not normally a place that gets touched.

Now I'm curious about what that feels like. Strange as in unpleasant or just a not normal sensation?

I feel flattered and super happy.

More just not normal, though it's pretty intensely weird.

go full sugar baby.

Challenge for my bros who use OKStupid:
>change your location to São Paulo
>find a decent AND pretty girl (Pro-tip: you can't)
>post it here

It seems to be the general concensus seems to be that big dicks are painful. Beyond the obvious stuff like:
>lot's of foreplay/lube
>go slowly
>listen to her
how can I get around this or at least make things more comfortable?

if i talk a woman casually on facebook, and in comments to one of her posts she jokes about her past job as a stripper, would bringing this up be a good way to lead conversation topics to sexual themes?

What exactly makes the difference between "girlfriend material" and just... "Fuckall"?

It's my second failed attempt now at dating, and it ends the same.
>Gets to know a guy
>Become really good friends
>Start seeing each other alone
>End up having sex
>Interest lost, now he just wants to be friends
What qualities is important for deciding between being friends and being lovers? Both are still single, and I see them on a semi-frequent basis (part of the friend circle, but not more that I might see them like once every month or two), and sometimes play online games with them, but that's it. There is literally no signs of attraction towards me anymore.

Given it took them almost 2 months to get me into bed, and neither were virgins, I don't really think the goal was just sex. That's an awful lot of trouble for very little gain.

I guess I could use some new clothes. How do I get a sugar mama?

>It seems to be the general concensus seems to be
I'm actually retarded.

If a guy is too big, I cannot enjoy it if I am not on top.

Only have experience with one such guy, but sex was great when we finally figured out that I just as to be the one in charge at all times.

It put the entire pressure on me, because either I did all the work, or we would both be in worry I would get hurt and ruin it. It also made our options rather inflexible, because a lot of positions just weren't viable.

He later found a girl who apparently could accommodate him, so I guess some girls might just be... Bigger? And better able to fit larger sizes than others. She seemed surprised I got hurt on a regular basis, at least, and told me she could accommodate him just fine after the first 2 times. So I guess a girl that fits you probably exists.

I'll be honest, most ""minorities"" are exotic to me, so that would almost automatically be a plus to me.

Asians especially. I don't know why, the small stature is funny and cute to me.

I have a couple of terrible experiences with black people, though, so that's an exception.

>sex was great when we finally figured out that I just as to be the one in charge at all times.
>It put the entire pressure on me, because either I did all the work, or we would both be in worry I would get hurt and ruin it.
So I just want to make sure I'm not misunderstanding, when you broke up it was for other reasons and not because you had to do all the work in the bedroom?

My friend is thinking of becoming a surrogate mother mainly because
1-she wants to get pregnant down the road anyways and become a housewife
2-is in a financial pinch

This is a horrible idea right? She's asking me for opinions and maybe I'm biased but I'm just imagining all the ways this could blow up on her.

Different goals in life. He unironically wanted a housewife, and I liked my career too much to accept that, so we kinda just agreed to not pursue it further.

If he expects to be a housewife to a couple, she has the wrong idea of how this works.

She will not necessarily be a big part of that familys life, and could very well risk becoming shut out entirely.

Don't sleep with a guy until you're actually going on dates, for starters. Sleeping with someone you've been hanging out with, but haven't actually drawn a line in the sand and said "this is a date" is the fast track to not going anywhere.

There's no way we can tell you what went wrong from here. The primary thing that stands out here for me is whether or not the guys were looking for relationships at all. If a guy is not looking for a relationship then your chance of getting into one with him is pretty narrow, and sleeping with him becomes the pinnacle of what can be achieved romantically between the two of you (as opposed to the pinnacle being dating/marriage in a serious relationship) and so the fun kind of goes out of it once you deal with the sexual tension.

Also you might just be boring as fuck.

>If he expects to be a housewife to a couple, she has the wrong idea of how this works.
Not what I meant. More like she later wants to find a husband of her own and become a housewife. So since she wants to have numerous kids of her own, the thinking goes "whats the harm in one more".

I don't want to pretend to be an expert but it seems to me that a girl like that who seems to have a strong maternal instinct is the wrong kind of person to be a surrogate because giving up the child to its family will be harder than she thinks. It seems to me that only those women who aren't really interested in having kids would be better suited to surrogacy.

Bump

>Don't sleep with a guy until you're actually going on dates, for starters. Sleeping with someone you've been hanging out with, but haven't actually drawn a line in the sand and said "this is a date" is the fast track to not going anywhere.
We had dinners and seen a few movies together alone. Is I really necessary to draw a line and call it a date? I suppose I'll have to try that next time..
>There's no way we can tell you what went wrong from here. The primary thing that stands out here for me is whether or not the guys were looking for relationships at all. If a guy is not looking for a relationship then your chance of getting into one with him is pretty narrow, and sleeping with him becomes the pinnacle of what can be achieved romantically between the two of you (as opposed to the pinnacle being dating/marriage in a serious relationship) and so the fun kind of goes out of it once you deal with the sexual tension
I didn't consider that.. I thought him showing interest meant he was looking for more, but I guess that's kinda foolish of me. It just feels... Weird to start asking early on what he hopes to get from me. I can't imagine the question being received well, and I don't really think I would ever get a "just sex" answer from them. I suppose I am just bad at setting expectations.

>Also you might just be boring as fuck.
Guess that's an option too.

Chill dude, you spoke once, she could have a boyfriend for all you know, and if not it's exceedingly likely that she has some guy in her own circle of friends/acquaintances that she's already into.

Please try to fully comprehend what I mean when I say that the vast majority of people you will ever deal with will be more than happy to be friendly/friends with you if you approach them in a friendly way.

Could it be a relationship that might develop further? Absolutely. Could she be your >qt gf? Absolutely no way to tell, and I guarantee you will fuck up even being her friend if you're already thinking that you want to pursue her at this point.

Become friends, and then see what you think.

Then she is not suited for this.

As Said, if she really wants children, she will have a lot of trouble giving up the child.

I have a friend who has given birth 3 times as a surrogate mother. She has no children, and doesn't want children herself. And she still gets a depression lasting about half a year every time. The maternal instinct kicks in, whether you like it or not, and she WILL struggle to accept the situation when she finally gets there.

>We had dinners and seen a few movies together alone. Is I really necessary to draw a line and call it a date? I suppose I'll have to try that next time..
I have done some top tier romantic shit with girls I've been seeing casually and had no intention of actually dating. I'm talking weekends away, picnics on the green, sharing memebook profile pictures. You're under the misunderstanding that people don't have to define their relationships at an early stage. It's awkward as fuck every time, but after a few dates you do need to ask what the other person is looking for to avoid getting yourself hurt or wasting your time. Any guy who likes you will not have a problem answering the "what are you looking for out of this?" question.

>I didn't consider that.
Everyone has their own hangups and circumstances that are worth considering from an outside point of view. Try to remind yourself of that next time instead of just projecting your expectations onto them.

I guess I'm just overthinking it. Really though, she kinda seems to be acting In a kinda similar way to the last girl I was sorta seeing.

Meh, I guess I'll see what happens with her. (I already knew her sister and the sisters bf. She seemingly told them that she works with me, so there's that)

I went on a date with this girl and it went really, really well. She even expressed a lot of interest in a second one. About a month later of us trying to setup another she asks if I want to go to a movie with her soon. I say that would be great! I asked her if she would like to see a particular movie and she just opens it and leaves me on read??? What the hell happened?

Ask her out once. If she gives any indication she doesn't want to, drop it.

As a girl, the most frustrating thing in the world is dealing with guys, because we like a lot of you, but as friends, not boyfriend material. But if we try to be friendly, guys just instantly assume we want your dick for some reason.

Being friends is fine, and can develop later down the line, but don't expect it to happen. That said, you shouldn't just befriend a girl and hope she suddenly tears off your clothes. If you like her, be upfront about it. If she is shy, I guarantee she will never confess first, so either you break the ice, or no one will. And it's probably best to get out of your system as soon a possible. From your description, she clearly likes you, so you definitely have a chance, and I see no reason why you shouldnt give it a shot. Asking her if you can take her on a date, should not be a problem, as long as you are ready for a rejection.

Bump

Yea, I feel like it's in a solid position to ask. It's not like she dislikes me, or evens Meh about me. I think I'll ask her in a week or so... just to learn be bout her first.

I honestly kinda feel that it may be a little comical. A 4'9 girl and a guy who's almost 6'... I am legit 3x her weight.... But meh, probably not an issue

>asked her if she would like to see a particular movie and she just opens it and leaves me on read??? What the hell happened?
How long ago was this?

And there can be thousands of reasons she doesn't have time to respond, or straight up forgot to respond. You asked her a question that requires she browses the movies that are currently airing, so it not a quick and easy response she can give you right away.

This was around 2pm today, I thought about that but wouldn't she at least be wondering why I wouldn't be responding and check?

>inb4 this was less than an hour ago

Give it some time, and if nothing then prompt her. Any girl who is still talking to you after a month of being unable to meet up is interested enough that you can send a follow up message to remind her to respond without getting weirded out by it.

Hi

I'll be honest, I love when I date someone who is just massively bigger than myself. It's kinda funny, and feels so nice to cuddle with.

sup

>2pm today
Holy shit, chill out.

Why the hell are guys this insecure? She is probably too busy to get to your message. Relax, Jesus Christ.

If you HAVE to do anything, find a movie that is currently airing you think she might like, and follow up by suggesting it. But seriously, calm the fuck down.

That I can see. And seems like that's the situation here... I mean, she's barely at my elbow..

But yea... She also told her sister that I work with her. (I knew the sister and her bf for the better part of a decade. And I grew up with the bf actually. So I've known him for probably 20years.).

Ten hours actually for me, I think I'll prompt her again tomorrow just to give it some extra time.

Is it seen as a typical guy thing for then to be blunt and brief in texts? Especially if the guy is shy and awkward?

>Up at midnight worrying about a girl who left him on read
>On a Wednesday

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Thanks for the responses. I didn't really have much to go on before, so this helps. The guys are still sorta friends with me, but they just give me a "I like you more as a friend" response when I ask them why it didn't work, which feels like a cop out, but does make sense with the way you put it.

Kinda frustrating, because I am not good at dating. I was only with these guys because they pursued me.

Not everyone is good with words and shy people are especially shit at it.

Used to see a girl who texted like a dead fish but was bright as the sun in person.

I messed up. I am still trying to process what happened, and everything got very weird now.
>Had to move for a job offer I got.
>Found a really cheap place that looked super good, and was meant for 4 people
>2 guys already live there, but they are super nice, and for the first month, had done nothing weird.
>Went to a music mini festival last weekend
>Got way too drunk
>A friend ensured I got home safely, but after that, I am not entirely sure what happened, except I had sex with the two guys I live with
Everything hurt when I woke up, and given how I normally act, I can't blame them entirely. I was a virgin. I went out partying often, but I had never been with a guy in any way before. But they didn't know that. My bed was bloodied, and I am sure they realized this as well, because we haven't talked since before I left for the festival that Saturday. And we live in an apartment where we can't really avoid each other.

I am lost on how to proceed. I get the feeling they are afraid I'll call rape, but from my recollection of the events, I wasn't exactly giving them any indication I didn't want it. They are both rather handsome and cute, they are both nice guys, and I was honestly not even expecting to have a chance with them even if I wanted to, anyway, so this turn of events is completely baffling.

I just want to fix things. I don't want to ruin anything here, and I definitely don't want anyone else to get in trouble because I couldn't control my alcohol intake. Is there any way I can talk to them or anything else I can do, that can make things go back to being at least friendly, and not a permanent awkward silence?

Or, you know, just lazy.

I refuse to write in that retarded Facebook style where you misspell every other word, but I still can't get myself to put too much effort into writing messages. I would much rather just talk.

I doubt that it's a cop out so much as they don't have a reason they can put into words. How many guys have you met that you wouldn't date because of a vague feeling? Probably a lot.

I do have a female friend who is cute and naive and, when I met her, had only just had her first kiss at 21/22 years old. She dated a guy for a few months but it didn't work out, so she hopped on tinder and fucking fell for it when she, in succession, got suckered into going on a few dates with two different guys, having sex with them, and then never hearing from them again, despite the fact that they both assured her they were looking for something serious.

In her case I think it might be because she's about as entertaining as watching paint dry.

alcohol is a great drug, isnt it?

First time it has caused something bad to happen. Guess this was my lesson. I got to 26, so I had kinda stopped worrying it would go wrong at some point.

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I got my lesson when I woke up in a hospital bed the next day.

If you're 26 and not mature enough to talk to the guys and put them out of their misery with regards to whether or not you'll cry rape then you are seriously fucked up.

How much do you like them?

If you can pull it off, make a joke about it. Try to laugh, smile, and act like nothing terrible happened. If your only concern is a bad atmosphere in the apartment, you are actively dragging it the wrong way if you act afraid and worried.

>Virgin
>26 year old
>Alcoholic party girl
Something doesn't add up, but I suppose that's why they got surprised. Still, alcohol to a point where you memory is fuzzy makes you unable to properly consent. That's the definition of rape. Still, if you really dont want to go down that route, playing it off as funny is probably the best bet for making things go back to normal.

I sleep around a lot, but last time I had drunken sex with someone and couldn't remember much, to forced him to play strip poker with me. It didn't lead to much, but it was still a rather fun way to break the ice when I had accidentally slept with a friend (basically a beta orbiter, honestly, so it was super awkward). That might be to much for you, given you have no real experience, and it is 2 guys.

WHAT'S IT MEAN WHEN A GIRL ASKS FOR YOUR LAST NAME???

W H O R E !
H
O
R
E
!

Gunna facebook stalk you/add you.

At least I have still avoided that one. >If you're 26 and not mature enough to talk to the guys and put them out of their misery with regards to whether or not you'll cry rape then you are seriously fucked up.
It didn't really occur to me until this night... I manage to go through Sunday to Tuesday with no idea that might be a worry. I'll definitely have to talk to them about it, but how? I can't just say "oh guys the that wasn't rape". That's super weird and awkward.

>If you can pull it off, make a joke about it. Try to laugh, smile, and act like nothing terrible happened. If your only concern is a bad atmosphere in the apartment, you are actively dragging it the wrong way if you act afraid and worried.
I might try this... I am not sure how easy it will be. I am very easily affected by the mood of others.

And yeah I know it sounds weird... I just haven't had much luck with guys somehow. I think I had a bad habit of falling for geeks, and then it falls apart because I let them wait too long, and my partying makes them feel insecure, so it never really seems to work out. This wouldn't even have happened if I had lived on my own like I used to.

>Strippoker
Oh my god. I can't imagine that it will help make things less awkward.

I am not exactly happy this happened.

>First time as a 26 year old
>Basically raped while completely intoxicated
Whether she reports it or not, she had no say in what happened there. This was rape, and that hardly makes anyone a whore.

I'd still not date someone who has slept with her two roommates, regardless of why and how it happened, though. Especially not if she continued to live with them. Whore or not, that seems sketchy at best.

Grill here.

I've been posting on these threads for a few days about my scenario: my crush (male) is looking at another girl. I needed to tell him how I love him immediately. A few days ago I did what others on here suggested I do and ask him out. He accepted willingly, but we are planning on what to do and when to meet since both of us have terrible work schedules. Is there anything I can do to further this to ensure he chooses me instead of her?

Listen, you really only have a handful of choices here:
>Break the ice and let them know it was okay, but you don't want it to happen again. Accept that no one will ever want to date you as long as our live together with two guys you slept with.
>Indulge yourself in them, and have fun or see if you can get something serious off the ground. If they are your type, I see no reason not to give it a try, since you won't be dating anyone else anyway
>Find another place to live
You can make things work with your roommates, but you'll never "fix" what happened there. You 3 might be cool with it, but no other guy will accept this.

Bend your plans to meet up with him. You're on the back foot and it's time to go big or go home. Call in sick to work if you have to, don't tell him you did of course, or ask for a day off if it's shift work. Basically anything where you are conspicuously making an effort to make it work is what you should be doing.

cancel on him

Thanks. I'll consider this since, as you've pointed out, he needs to know that I'm willing to sacrifice for him. What else should I be doing until then?

Why would that help my situation?

>Indulge yourself in them, and have fun or see if you can get something serious off the ground. If they are your type, I see no reason not to give it a try, since you won't be dating anyone else anyway
that's not true

He's memeing you, don't cancel unless you get sick or something.

You should keep in contact. Doesn't have to be 100 messages every day but you should try and swap some bantz. Try not to leave him on read. If you don't have time to respond to a message make sure not to open it.

[spoiler]Unironically you might consider sending racy pics if you can get the flirting going and you don't think he'd find them inappropriate. Yes a guy can find nudes inappropriate if he's not attracted to you. Oh he will still save them, but they'd still be weird to receive.[/spoiler]

Did you use the word 'date' when you asked him out, or are you just hanging out?

throwing yourself at the guy is not attractive to him, especially if you are trying to compete for his affection. i was just meming on canceling on him, but do not be clingy. i mean don't be aloof either, that's for guys. and whatever u do don't fuck him right away

You are a high tier cuck if you would date a girl who lives together with 2 guys she has fucked.

And seriously, 26, and she just had her first time. She's like 10 years behind the curve. Might as well kick loose now that she messed up anyway. The other option is going back to being a forever single.

My main recommendation is still number 3, but I can understand why moving out after just a month or 2 would be an issue. A lot of cities have very poor options for affordable apartments, so that might not be a viable solution.

This person does make an effort to talk to me and we are meeting up so I’m to presume that it’s not a sign of disinterest?

Apart from that I wouldn't date a 26 year old who still got black out drunk on the regular. That's some shit decision making.

Correct. Anyone who is making an effort to talk to you actively likes you as a person at least.

only we can have ex partners, if a woman makes a mistake then she is a slut forever. wow man you are pretty resented and insecure with the opposite sex. who hurt you?

That sucks... But I can see why I would be an issue. Not that it matters much, my frequent partying is enough to make most guys grow too insecure anyway, and I never really feel much towards the guys I usually meet at parties, so nothing happens there.

Trying to date one of them seems pretty impossible though, won't one of them just get jealous? If they even *want* to, given your first option.

Again, I have no experience with this. I don't think I could juggle this properly at all.

Maybe I have to move out, but it was just difficult to find a place at all, and it was super lucky I stumbled upon the poster for this right as it was put up. I can keep my eyes open for a another place, but I don't think I can expect to get this lucky again anytime soon.

>be me 23khv, shy
>get the nerve to ask out oneitis
>ask her to meet me outback
>doesn't show; get depressed and go home
>coworker messages me "hey user where are u? stacy's been looking all over for you"
>add her on fb and message her that im sorry
>next day, coworker tells me shes at work
>go to work casually and tell her im sorry and ask her out
>she says yes
>i give her my number and ask let to let me know when she would be free
>4 days later no text
i dont know what to do. should i press her on the date by suggesting a day? should i just talk to her normally without bringing up the date or should i just give up? when she talks to me i get positive body language from her (smiling).

>festival last weekend

Splendour?

>until then
Just keep in contact I guess.
I don't know how much you need to prepare for the date.
A guy would familiarize himself with the surroundings so he can appear spontaneous while sticking to his plan.
All I see women do is clean up, put on a dress like they are about to host a game show and then enjoy their time.
But then everyone basically looks like Rachel Riley here and thus the most beautiful women are the ones who dress like her.

also, tomorrow is my last day before i have almost 5 days off, so i may not have an excuse to see her

I don't plan on canceling. In fact, I've been waiting months for this occasion.

>You should keep in contact. Doesn't have to be 100 messages every day but you should try and swap some bantz. Try not to leave him on read. If you don't have time to respond to a message make sure not to open it.
Will do.

>Unironically you might consider sending racy pics if you can get the flirting going and you don't think he'd find them inappropriate.
I would, but he's pretty shy and reserved. I also don't know how to flirt over text very well.

>Did you use the word 'date' when you asked him out, or are you just hanging out?
Only "hang out". Should I have said "date" instead?

How am I throwing myself at him?

>Apart from that I wouldn't date a 26 year old who still got black out drunk on the regular. That's some shit decision making.
I honestly wouldn't care if she always managed to keep her pants on until she came home to me.

Don't misunderstand here, I wouldn't mind a girl having had sex before, in fact I generally prefer it, virgins are shit in bed. But dating a girl who lives in the same apartment as two people she claims to have fucked "only once"? No way.

Once she moves out, I would not have any problems anymore.

>Trying to date one of them seems pretty impossible though, won't one of them just get jealous? If they even *want* to, given your first option.
Depends on the guys relationship. Though the best chance is probably just casual FwB, and that might be a bit much for someone like you. It generally requires a bit more experience to not mess it up by becoming too attached.

u retard u should have set the date. she's having anxiety attacks thinking about what to say. girl brains cant do logistics like that. u need to mention something with a specific date and be like itd be really cool if we could go to this but hypothetically, like hey they got really good drink special here on so and so or hey this band i really like is playing on so and so -- offer them as suggestions

never let the girl decide simply bc theyre not used to it

>Only "hang out". Should I have said "date" instead?
If you wanted to be 100% clear about what you're after then yes, but hanging out is fine as long as you are prepared to make some kind of move. He's shy and looking somewhere else, so the chance that he will try anything is really low and it will fall to you to be the one to initiate. Remember to read the room and decide on the day whether or not you still have a shot. That means you should show up looking good and you should flirt openly and see what sticks to the wall. Go for a nice easy hand on the knee/thigh or some lewd hand holding if there is a good time. Try to engineer a kiss if you've got a good feeling.

Remember not to pussyfoot around too much. From the way you describe it you don't have the luxury of hanging out with him for 3 more months trying to get him to kiss you and you will need to make your intentions clear very quickly.

Also remember not to confess your feelings. It's an anime-exclusive trope and will result in the other person being weirded out 99% of the time. On the off chance that you need to verbalise it so that it's clear what you want, keep it simple and say something along the lines of "you know I've got a bit of a crush on you right?"

No, it was just a small local Street festival held near my place. It is not really that big, just a few hundred people. It was a nice one, though.

>Depends on the guys relationship. Though the best chance is probably just casual FwB, and that might be a bit much for someone like you. It generally requires a bit more experience to not mess it up by becoming too attached.
FwB?

Casual you mean sex but no strings attached? Eh... I don't think I'm comfortable enough with sex to do that sort of thing. I wasn't even planning on losing my virginity here, and while I could just say fuck it and throw myself at them, I don't really have the confidence nor desire to do that.

I will try to talk to them though, see what they want and hope will happen now... Perhaps we can at least remain good friends. I don't really have a problem with going single for a few more years. Working on the career anyway.

do you think a happy person needs to take alcohol till blackout?

Guys:
I have a kind of sorority girl aesthetic (currently in college). Is this attractive or does it look dumb?

Is it true that win you play games with girls you should let them win?

i know i fucked up but ive never talked to girls before, so it was inevitable. should i set something for tomorrow?

Okay, I was in this situation when I was younger, and I get you are inexperienced, but they are seemingly not. That can help you a lot.

I had trouble with guys. Even the really high level fedora nice guys couldn't keep an interest in me. I lived with 2 guys and a girl, as when the girl moved out, a joke about me being oh so vulnerable while alone with two guys, let to us messing around, and finally having sex.

We just went at it full speed. I could focus on my career, they got sex, and I got great sex as well. Win-win for all of us.

Some guys might struggle to get you off. 2 guys won't. Trust me on that one.

I normally don't. And no one said I was a happy person.

Fuck no. Don't be insulting.

Yeah...
>Nope.jpg
I haven't needed sex until now, and I highly doubt I'll begin to need it now.

Attraction is too individual. I don't like the look because I associate it with dumb blonde types but if you're hot no one will be that bothered.

>do girls like to be condescended to?