25 years old

You don't need to be a chad. You just need to talk a lot and interact with your audience. You have to understand that a lot of people go on twitch because they have no friends. By interacting with your audience you're giving the impression that you're their internet friend.

That sounds like a pain in the ass. What if I get caught lying? Can't I get fined?

Nah. I hate people. Ain't gonna work.

FUCK. Help me. I thought this was prime time neet hours. I'm being thrown into a world I want no part of. I can't fucking do anything and I don't know how to do anything. I don't want to do anything. Somebody help me.

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Tallying up the advice I got so far.

>Do something extremely illegal.
>Get off your ass and just do it. t shia labeouf
>Become a internet mega star. Its so easy dude.

Do you see why I'm having a bit of a hard time here, Jow Forums? Are you just gonna let a retard like me be thrown into the streets and die? For the love of you humanity help me. Its because I used a frog image, isn't it?

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Look dude you just need some self confidence and you'll find that doing things isn't bad or hard, I know a positive mental attitude sounds like bullshit but it's literally the game changer

I was a NEET for 10 years. I'll tell you something. Time is precious. If you're gonna do something dont waste your time on unskilled labor jobs. Learn something that sounds interesting to you. You only live once buddy. Go get em

>Hey guys legitimately I'm not gonna work or put in any effort just give me money without me asking for you to give me money.

Fuck off. Get a job/go to school, learn a trade, open your own business, meet gf, become couple, have a family.

Dont encourage it to breed you moron

>Are you just gonna let a retard like me be thrown into the streets and die?
So I'm supposed to do something for you but you can't do something for yourself? Not even applying for neetbux

Yes, it is because you used a frog.

Look, I've been where you're at. You do have to learn to provide for yourself, and having girlfriend or going to college are not your only options, but they are the easy ones.

I'm sure you've been told to try starting out at a community college and I recommend that. Much cheaper, and you will likely qualify for finaid and never have to pay a dime if you go into a trade program. But the loans won't kill you at a CC.

If you want to start REALLY small, call a CC. Ask them to meet with you. Being a functioning human being is easy when you start talking to people in person, and it might be hard for you and maybe you're an autist but it's okay because honestly? Most people are. They'll walk you through what you need and when you need to do it.

If you don't have a car, get a bus pass. If you don't know how, Google it or just call and ask. In fact, that's pretty much all of adult life: calling and asking someone to walk you through what you need to do.

Just be polite, stay calm, and ask questions when you have them. Don't worry about the dumb questions, just ask them anyway.

Get out and experience it, little by little. There are programs that can take you on and give you housing assistance at your local work source. You can couch surf with some friends.

Just keep getting up, and keep doing new things. Talk to a medical clinic and get your own health insurance set up.

Get a job. It is easier than you think, and you can have your parents help you fill out online applications, where as a work source can help you make a resume. Volunteer to get experiences written on that resume.

And just breathe. Stop whining. Everyone in the world has to do this at some point.

Not feeling it. Don't want to do shit. I have no aspirations and I'm beyond shocked my parents are blatantly trying to get rid of me.

>Learn something that sounds interesting to you.
Nothing sounds interesting to me. I'm fucked.

>Meet gf
>start a family
As if. If I absolutely must work it isn't going to be for anyone but myself. I'll get a tiny apartment and just be alone with my money.

Are you just going to shoot down every single helpful post with NOOOO I DON'T WANT TO I JUST WANT TO EAT ICE CREAM IN BED ALL DAY or are you going to reach down your pants and find your balls and just grow up and be a man?

How about this for perspective:

Your parents kick you out. It's just you, on the curb in front of your old house, with maybe a few boxes of possessions.
What is your next move? If you don't find somewhere to live, you will very quickly be cold, hungry, and possibly have all your shit stolen.

keep yourself safe

I've never had any history of mental disorders. I honestly don't want that on my medical history because working at this point seems inevitable. Why make things harder for myself when applying for work? Besides I couldn't live off of neetbux anyway.

That's some really sound advice. I appreciate it but man,. I've done nothing for 9 years. Just the thought of doing anything strenuous makes me sick.

I don't want to be a man. I want to be taken care of and do nothing all day.

Yes, I've thought about it. It's not enough to change my attitude.

So what are you going to do once you're sitting on the curb?
Just wait to die?

I don't want to die obviously but I don't want to change the way I live. I don't want to make my life complicated. I've lived comfortably for so long, its just what I'm used to.

Well that sucks bud. The parent-fueled gravy train has come to its stop.

If you don't do anything, you're going to find yourself on the street with no money, and no skills. Not a good place to be.
If you get some sort of job, you'll have to sacrifice some of your time, but you'll be able to have your own place and not need to experience things like sleeping in the freezing cold and defending your small stash of goods from mentally ill bums.

Speaking of skills. What's a reasonable skill to pick up? Like to make money as quickly and easily as possible? Someone already mentioned computer programming but I don't know shit all about computers. Learning computer language at my age seems daunting.

Ugh, you make me feel violent, I despise moochers.

But if you are just too useless to do anything, try going into a church or a monastery. They pay for your room and board, your education, and if you can keep your mouth shut about your shitty opinions they really don't ask you to do a whole lot depending on the order or religion you pick. I recommend Buddhism or cloistered Catholic, because those sects do the bare minimum. Problem solved.

PLEASE stop being a whiny bitch.

You could just talk to your parents about it. Maybe crying would help? Tell them you are scared and want to take it really slow because you aren't prepared for the outside world. Then do some volunterring until they buy a place and then stop.

It's not. Also turning tricks works.

Depends on what you consider easy.

Shit like trades will make you decent cash and only require a few years of apprenticeship that you get paid during, but there is physical work involved.
Computer stuff involves little physical work but often does require you to exercise your brain.
You could join the military as some sort of admin/clerk and just fill out papers for your work. They'll feed you, give you someplace to live, and then extra money for whatever else you want.

>PLEASE stop being a whiny bitch.
I'm trying damn it. Baby steps. This is all happening so suddenly. Anyway people are suggesting I learn a trade and go to school for it. I'm willing to do that. It seems simple enough. Though not really because I can't think of a single thing I want to learn or do.

They won't buy it. I've done that sorta thing for years.

>You could join the military as some sort of admin/clerk and just fill out papers for your work. They'll feed you, give you someplace to live, and then extra money for whatever else you want.
I have to admit, I do like the idea of sitting down all day and making money. I'll write that one down.

You've essentially existed in a sort of limbo for years, so that explains why you're not interested in anything and have no desire to do anything.

It's actually quite rewarding once you get out there and build your life for yourself. It's not overly difficult or anything, most everyone in the world does it at some point or another.

>It's not overly difficult or anything, most everyone in the world does it at some point or another.

The real hurdle for me is getting out of my comfort zone after all these years of being idle. I guess I'll attempt something with computers. I am most comfortable in front of one and you get to sit on your ass.

I actually have an CompTIA A+ book lying around the house somewhere. Thanks for putting up with me.

I've got a friend who's goal is to never work and play video games for the rest of his life.
At least your answer isn't "oh I'll just kill myself if I can't mooch off of someone."

This gets my Seal Of Upheaval (blecch!) as Most Obvious Bait Of The Day

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It's the fucking frog image, isn't it? I swear I'm not trolling first time posting on Jow Forums in fact. I just thought it perfectly represented my situation. Anyway the thread is mostly resolved now. Feel free to shitpost.

OP you're setting yourself up for absolute failure.

Believe the fuck out of me, in a few years you'll change your mind and regret it fully, and have people not help you get forward. You know how people go like "oh just start a new life, start fresh and change", well, at some point it's way too difficult. You can only put so much blame on your parents until you realize that you have had the option for long enough to change your situation.

t. someone who is suffering the consequences of this. You don't wanna be me.

Welcome to becoming homeless in the near future user. Get used to sleeping on the streets and eating food from trash cans or homeless centers.

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Dude you sound almost exactly like my older brother. Trust me don't be like him. I'd look into becoming a night time security guard. Easy work, quiet hours, essentially get paid to srand around or sit at a desk watching cameras for 8 hours. Its not gonna be fun of course but I imagine its better than being homeless.