GF wasn't a virgin when we met. I was

My girlfriend wasn't a virgin when I met her. I don't know why it bothers you so much, does she talk about her previous encounters with stars in her eyes? Or do you know only because you asked?

>girl I kinda like tells me she loves me
>loses virginity to another guy while drunk
>crawls to me and begs to be together anyway
>she swears wished it had been me
>no comfort in that but keep mouth shut
>try and try and try to get it out of head even rationalized we weren't even together
>another girl likes me so have sex with her
>feels awesome man and no long bothered by my whore of a gf
>gain my voice and slut shame gf and break up
>years go by and she reaches out to talk
>ok, and she says no man has ever treated her good as me despite the slut shame she deserved
>feel kinda bad so confess I fucked other girl
>the look on her face was fucking golden and I feel awesome all over again
>she sulks off crying

Fuck her so well that she thinks your the best sex she's ever had. And by that I mean strive to improve your sex with her as much as possible: find out what she likes and get good at doing that.
And just be a good boyfriend overall. Sex isn't everything - as long as you can keep her satisfied, she'll choose you over the guy who fucked her ever so slightly better if you're a better partner for her in all or even most other ways.
And look at the sliver lining: she'll have some experience with sex, and no one likes a starfish.
One consideration though is how many she had before you. If it's only two or three its no biggie, contrary to what some may think, but if it has two digits there could be a problem.

>Fuck her so well that she thinks your the best sex she's ever had
It won't help, if she is the same slut as this one

You see, the thing is, men and women are very different on this. Your bf having slept around because it made you insecure that he had other girls to compare you to.

For men it's different. Of course, there's that same factor too, but we also have this strong primitive instinct that makes us see promiscuous women as unworthy of any respect, we think less of a girl for the very fact that she slept around or even just that she had a few long-term relationships. It's not rational, just instincts from a time when it mattered as far as our reproduction strategy was concerned.

And this is why, OP, you will never trully get over it.

>I'm so insecure I became a bad person
And you're proud of that?

>It's not rational, just instincts from a time when it mattered as far as our reproduction strategy was concerned.
Just so you know, this is crap.
It's purely a cultural thing. Virginity for women is more important than it is for men because it used to guarantee your first heir was actually yours, which clearly mattered for inheritance reasons.
Even the nuclear family (one mother and one father who raise their kids) wasn't a thing till relatively recently. Before that we lived in tribes that were highly promiscuous. We started having family when we started having property and became farmers.
It isn't a biological thing, as you can see when you think that it really doesn't matter for any other animal but us. All animals reproduce, if it was so fundamental for our biology you'd see it in other species.

I agree that it is different for men and women, and the cultural thing is still so important in our society that virginity matters more for women than for men, and women being promiscuous are seen as worse than a man being promiscuous.
But I don't like promiscuous people in general, I like my boyfriend because he's amazing but the fact that he slept around made me think less of him.

how do i meet virgin gf?

Guess that makes sense. I don't know. I wish relationships worked like they did in the 1800's.

Interesting to hear a female perspective. You think this is something I can work on and get past?

Genius. I'll post pics.

No. She only mentioned them when I asked, said I'm better and bigger than all of them which could be true because I'm 7.5 inches and the bulk of her experience was early in highschool. My dick was way smaller when I was 16 too so I'm guessing the same was the case for her boyfriend back then.

I feel like that's a little different though. We lived in different states and had never met when she was with her highschool boyfriend.

Yeah that's someone else.

Take a time machine back a hundred years or so. Or go to a Muslim country.

i doubt theres really no virgins left. Jow Forums seems to be super pro sex and dismissive of everything else

I mean there are but they're pretty rare in Western countries.

and im sure its the same for both sexes, with virgin males being inept most of the time

>You think this is something I can work on and get past?
Only you know it.
I did, I'm so happy I did because he's genuinely the best human being I've ever met and I have an amazing relationship with him.

If she's worth it, give it a try. If you think you're going to resent her forever, don't waste her time.
It was hard for me because I really dislike promiscuos people in general, but he's worth it. He's worth everything.

I was my gfs #14. Most of those were hookups (first 2 ones were abusive/controlling relationships, tried to rather get FWB to have her freedom and not give anyone power over her).

Didn't really bother me despite being a Jow Forums regular.
Focused on becoming the best. Funnily enough, back when we were just stranger chatting and I asked her about her number and she replied, I said "acceptable" and she asked "how so?" and I said "because it wouldn't be too hard to get into the top 10" and she simply asked me if "I had aspirations".
After a couple of months I joked about getting into the top 10, to which she replied that I already was and then I said well top 5 then, to which she replied I was in as well.
Her #1 was her second manlet, dicklet bf of 2 years, simply because they were together the longest and he got to know her so well sexually.

Aspire to be the #1 bro.
Theorycraft the shit out of sex and put it into practice whenever possible.

>Just so you know, this is crap.
>It's purely a cultural thing.

No, it's not.

>In 1989 and 1990, evolutionary psychologist David M Buss and colleagues from the University of Texas at Austin published results from a large study of expressed preferences in mate selection, then current across human societies. The study involved more than 10,000 respondants from 37 cultures. "The desire for chastity or virginity (lack of prior sexual intercourse) proved to be the most cross-culturally variable.

>Studies like those above are consistent with evolutionary explanations of certain aspects of human psychology. Psychological preferences in sexual behaviour can have reproductive consequences, hence natural selection should operate on them, and may do so differently in men and women. In particular, "Males who preferred chaste females in our environment of evolutionary adaptedness, ceteris paribus, presumably enjoyed greater reproductive success than males who were indifferent to the sexual contact that a potential mate had with other males."[10] Dickerman (1981) and Daly & Wilson (1983) argue, "chastity would also provide a cue to the future fidelity of a selected mate. A male failing to express such a preference would risk investing in offspring that were not his."[11] Buss notes, "A female could be sure her putative children were her own, regardless of the prior sexual experience of her mate. This sexual asymmetry yields a specific prediction: Males will value chastity in a potential mate more than will females."[10]

psychology.wikia.com/wiki/Virginity

You have a feminine way of thinking. I would never get involved with a woman who has had that many partners, not because I would be afraid I wouldn't be the best, but because I would have little to no respect for her.

>You have a feminine way of thinking.
How come? The male way of thinking is competitive. I'm pretty competitive in aspireing to be the best.

>I would have little to no respect for her.
I would be the same, if I had it so easy as girls do.
I'd probably aspire to have a LTR, but if no suitable guys would present themself, I'd probably try to find a suitable FWB.

>How come?
I don't know, there could be plenty of reasons.

>The male way of thinking is competitive. I'm pretty competitive in aspireing to be the best.
No, that's not what the situation is. You're not physically competiting with guys, you're trying to be the most compleasant new chick in the harem to be the master's favorite.

>I would be the same, if I had it so easy as girls do.
Well what can I say, to each their own.

Yikes, she's not relationship material if she's fucked fourteen guys dude. FWB, sure. So long as you're very fucking wrapped

Nice meme.

*13
I'm the 14th guy.
>wrapped
Fucked all the guys except the ones she had a relationship with, with a rubber (even when she was on the pill).

Point is, I can relate to her position. If her relationships hadn't been terrible, she would have probably ended up with 3-4 guys before me BUT she would have have much more sex numbers wise, since you naturally have much more (and better) sex in relationships, they you get with guys you fuck 1-2 times.

I dated "normal" girls for a decade or so but then married a qt virgin.
Best decision I ever made and the peace of mind is worth any price.
Men, I can only advise you to follow your hearts on this one instead of trying to let these women talk you out of it.

>Guess that makes sense. I don't know. I wish relationships worked like they did in the 1800's.
hahahhahaha

Bro, I have something terrible to tell you...

In the 1800s people (and women too, wauw) had lots of sex, outside/inside marriage, before after and all that.

And guess what bro, it hasnt changed. People still have sex all

the

damn

time

>the only thing bothering your "slut" gf is the fact that you get so hung up on her seeing a dick before yours. And that she didnt just lie to you like everybody else.

This guys knows best. Hope I get lucky like that.

If you werent a virgin, this would be a problem, but because shes your first, you literally will never get over it until you sleep with another woman. Now how you go about sleeping with another woman is up to you, do you cheat? Do you hire an escort? Do you break up and test your luck to get some confidence back? Up to you.

Does a threesome with her and her best friend count?

>he's genuinely the best human being I've ever met and I have an amazing relationship with him.
That's how I feel about her. As for the resenting thing I don't know if I will forever. I just don't know how to change my thinking.

>A female could be sure her putative children were her own, regardless of the prior sexual experience of her mate.
...what the fuck? If it comes out of your fucking vagina it's yours?

I mean, I'd proceed with caution. If she's not cheating while she's with you, that's good, if she does cheat don't even consider forgiving her for a second.

I never called her a slut. I'm glad she told the truth.

Fucking damnit. I don't want to leave her. I don't want to cheat. I'm fucking stuck. I'm really not gonna get over it? Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK. Am I really out of options?

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You don't. There's no virgin woman standing on this Earth. Even babies get fucked by their mother's guts before birth nowadays.

I mean, you could probably "get over" anything with enough counseling/therapy/will power, but why would you want to work so hard for used goods?
Gotta ask yourself if she's really worth all the effort.

It happened to me too buddy. This is your first girlfriend, and it aint gonna last. When the heartbreak comes, make sure you dont kill yourself. Afterwards you'll find getting women a LOT easier and you'll care less, making you seem more confident and attractive. I wanted to marry my first gf, because i thought she was perfect and amazing and everything i could hope for in a woman. looking back on it a year later, i realize i only felt this way because she was fucking hot, lol. I ignored every red flag possible, and it even got to the point of me crying in the shower because i didnt understand what was wrong. She's not perfect, and youre behind in relationships. Time to catch up.

Try to spend time thinking why you feel bad about it.

Is it something you might work on and get over (insecurities)? If it's just insecurities, work past them.
If it is something that you can't really change unless you really change yourself, leave it.

He cant get over his insecurities unless he sleeps with a different woman. This is fact.

I got over mine by working on myself with a therapist, and talking frankly to my boyfriend who is a pretty empathetic dude.

What? I’ve never thought something like this. Who taught you that?

Youre a woman, the same cant be said for the man. If he tries to do this to her, she'll feel like hes calling her a slut and break up. It doesnt go well for men to be seen as lesser or weak. He has to deal with this on his own, or with the help of a therapist, or get down to the source of his problem which is the fact that he feels lesser because he's slept with less people. Women shouldnt have larger body counts then men or we get stupid issues like these.

>I never called her a slut. I'm glad she told the truth
Not explicitly, but what else would be the reason you cant "get over it"??

I mean, what would have been the tangible difference if you had sex before her as well?

Yes. You do that by doing therapy and fix the fact that you feel lesser just because you didn't get your cock sucked enough, not by fucking other people.
That makes you a cheater, not a more confident person.

Therapy wont fix the thoughts hes feeling. He will always think about how his gf is a "slut" and how he feels inferior because hes only had 1, nothing will fix that, except fucking more women. Trust me on this, I've tried too. Its a non-issue after your first gf, I promise.

Go sleep around with a few women and then try and date her again
Basically what I did, i'm a big loner so I didn't have any particular girl in mind, but I knew some day I would meet one and at my age (19) it's not reasonable to expect someone to not have dated already
So I acted promiscuous, had sex with a few girls, it was very enjoyable the first two times but after #4 it just felt kinda sad so I stopped
Now i've got a delightful little tragic backstory of a loner who opened up and went a tad overboard and just wants to be stable now
Now I just need to meet a nice girl desu

Or maybe I was just autistic idk none of this matters

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Yeah? What is your point?

I knew Jow Forums was autistic but I didn't Kno they couldn't read.

I can read perfectly, I just don't get what you're getting at.

It doesn't matter if you were the first one, as long as you're the best one.
Do your best to give her as many orgasms as you can everytime you fuck, I guarantee you won't give a shit about her ex boyfriends when she'll thank you for that

Have her peg you. It’s like you’re both virgins.

Sounds gay. I'm in.