Why don't guys ask out the girl that he loves when the girl clearly loves him back...

We're on Facebook with eachother lole
And yeah I understand a lot now
I'm 18 turning 19 though lolol my guy is 19 turning 20. Were just socially retarded to be honest I feel insecure doing that lol

He has made moves on me like sending the first message, saying he cares about me, that he misses me even after one day. Messaging me first thing in the morning, and saying publicly on a post on Facebook that he'd kiss me so I dunno. There's a lot more examples too but I just feel i dunno scared

If your guy were here asking this, I'd tell this to him. As you're here, I'll tell it to you. It's just as true to a girl as it is to a guy.
Repeat this to yourself several times: Starting a relationship requires courage. It requires risking rejection. It requires saying something when you don't know what will happen! It requires a little recklessness.

Having anxiety about a crush is entirely normal. Entirely normal. But you have to power through it. What's on the other side is so amazing, user. It's unparalleled. The next sentence is going to scare you. So after you read it, just look away for a minute if you need to. Deep breaths.

Text him tonight and ask him out.

You still here? Wipe your hands, user, they're sweaty as hell! Okay, relax. Laugh a little. It's fine. Staying safe isn't worth it, user. All the best chances go by while people stay safe and say nothing. Just pick up your phone and do it, like ripping off a band-aid. Don't plan it, don't stop and think about it, just do it. And then it's done, and then your relationship with him starts! It starts tonight, user, holy shit! I'm excited for you. You're going to do great, now go on.

Just ask him what is he doing tommorow and invite him to park and ice cream. If you dont mention it is date, it is called stealth date.

And then when you two will walk aimlessly around the park, secretly grab his hand and attempt handholding.

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I like how the guys here just sit on the catalog waiting for any thread mentioning they're a girl and bombard the shit out of it.

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It's not clear that you have a crush on him.

Guys want attention too.
And the OP was directed at them, so...

Uuuuuu I reallt wish I can do that! I'm glad that you see hope In us haha thank you :) I'll try my best to do something, Someone said they'd kiss me in a post and I was like no I want my crush to do that and then my crush replies to me in the post " kiss me " " delete his comment or else you have no balls" I don't know what that means !

How else do you expect me to get my rocks off.

>I really wish I can do that!

And you can. I don't mean like someday, with a lot of effort, you can do it. You can do it right now. Really. *Really.* I know, I know, it's an *ocean* of anxiety. Acknowledge it. Acknowledge how much the idea of deliberately and unambiguously showing him how you feel scares you. And then do it, despite your fear. The immediate reward for doing this is, you get to be with him. The larger reward for doing this is, that ocean of anxiety doesn't own you anymore. You can absolutely do this.

What makes you think I can be with him though? If he likes me why can't he ask me out?

I genuinely wish women would ask men out more. I have missed plenty of hints and shit in my life because a woman didn't ask me out or whatever.

I don't give a shit about some stigma about manlyness or something, I'd rather just be asked out instead of having to pick my way through all the mysterious bullshit and hints if a woman likes me or not.

If you want someone to ask you out, and they aren't, just ask them out. OP

It's tremendously obvious to everyone in this thread that you can be with him, obvious to everyone but you, of course. I'm not insulting you; that's super normal. People who are into each other are the last to know. There's a hundred reasons why he can't ask you out, and no way for you to know which it is. It's a waste of effort to try to guess, because it doesn't matter. You don't control him, but you control you. You don't need him to ask you out, because you can ask him out.

From the bottom of my soul, with every ounce of sincerity I can convey across the internet to a stranger: there will be no greater feeling in your young life than when you first embrace recklessness, and make a move. I'm 35 and married, but I remember being 17 and the day I told my crush how I felt. More than half my life ago and I'm still proud of it. I was scared shitless, and I *knew* she would reject me. I knew it, and I told her anyway. And she told me she felt the same way, and I realized that everything I thought I knew about myself was wrong. user, you can do this. You really can.

Double dubs of truth, honey! Listen to this dude!

I’m one “^.^ teehee” away from burning this thread down

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OwO why would you dwo dwath? I wove this twead.

Why are you expecting someone with anxiety to do the work?
Sure, someone in a wheelchair COULD pick up your wallet for you, but to expect them to when you're perfectly capable is a dick move.

"Too scared," everyone's scared. You're just being lazy. If you want it, make it happen.

>You don't control him, but you control you. You don't need him to ask you out, because you can ask him out.
QFT

Ask him out. Guys love it.

T. Am a guy that has had this happened

I have anxiety too /:

Thank you so much... why is it obvious to everyone in the thread ? I can't really see it maybe only a little so can you please tell me. Btw your story is lovely !

Girls can be confusing and guys can be clueless. It's a very bad combination.
I'm not an Incel. I'm married and Ive had my share. So I repeat. Women can be confusing.

So if you think you're being pretty obvious, do not forget. A woman came before you and acted exactly the same way you are, maybe even *more* obvious, and when he made a move she screamed "eww creep wtf!" And wrote a passive aggressive tweet about how men just assume because you're nice it means you like them that he thought was directed at him. And that will give him extreme anxiety and doubt in the future.

You kind of have to hire a air traffic control dude with the wands sometimes..

I haven't asked the girl on my friend group I like who's also been kinda showing some signs because of the possible backlash. I know how most social situations work but am still socially retarded when it comes to execution, also the possibility that she might reject me keeps me at bay since in my case I'd still have to see her for the next three years, which is a fucking torture, since I just keep falling in love with her over and over again.

Love is just a mental illness, like any other kind of drug addiction.

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Why can't girls ask out guys they like? What a dumb question.

Is he an introvert?

What kinda signs does she show you?

Yeah he is, not that I mind anyway I kinda find it endearing. He only goes to work and doesn't reallt hangout with friends, we think in the same kinda way we're we just don't really like hanging around with people a lot so we struggle with that together.

Stays close to me when in a group, we walk at the same pace, generally trusts me to lead her (and I know i do well), when we sit next to each other there's this good vibe between us, sometimes we laugh with no reason, and there's generally some good eye contact.

Like, I know I need to make a move, I've done shit to improve myself but I just can't break that barrier, I didn't have good experiences as a kid so at some points I feel like I don't deserve her, even though she shows me these signs and I'm conscious of them, like my own body stops me whenever I want to make it to the other side.

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Do you have a throwaway email or anything? Maybe we can discuss our situations together a bit more and trade advice and whatnot. Idk It's up to you but I think it'd be benifictal

Does he find it easy to open up about stuff with you?

Does he do anything like art, or whatever? What are his hobbies? It sounds weird that I'm asking this but it'll help me a bit

Don't really want to reach that level of commitment, but hey, If you want to give him some confidence, try leaning on him or flat out give him a hug and see how he reacts, or slightly compliment him on the stuff you like about him so he knows you enjoy being around him (which is the great doubt we men have, are we good enough for you?)

Yes he does open up to me and talks about his issues to me like about troubles at work, past (to a certain extent) tibets about his family like how his sister annoys him or how his going out to dinner with his mum or something. We talk just about everything with eachother, including our worries and anxieties and we relate to eachother a lot. Obviously I don't know every detail right now since we're still in the early stages but I feel closer to him and I think people can see that on social media and whatnot. His hobbies are pretty much exactly the same as mine like anime ,video games and yeah. We get on reallt well I just get nervous sometimes when we talk to eachother so I apologise a lot to him and he reassures me a lot and says he cares about me

That's super cute.

He probably feels very lucky to have found you in this world, someone who "gets" him and appreciate him for the person he is. He probably rarely trusts people and it isn't easy for him to open up with anyone. But he does it with you.

But deep in his heart he's still insecure. He probably fears rejection way too much, and I can imagine he pokes you around for hints that you are really interested in him romantically. Even then, there's always the thought of "what if she doesn't. I might get rejected" that scares him away

Do you both talk up about potential scenarios where you two are together, even "just" joking? Like... "Imagine us doing this thing together!!" Or "Let's build a big house and fill it with animals together", some silly things like that

Thank you :3
We do it all the time actually
We talk about how I want to hug him and I want him to snuggle into my chest and he said that he would fall asleep while we did that. I thought that was adorable, it's long distance sadly so we can't see eachother but I reallt care about him and I know this will be hard and I know a lot of people won't like the fact that it is that but we can't really help it. He spoke to me about a ex that broke up with him because he didn't want to have sex and that he reallt don't like slutty women so he could be talking to me about that to make sure I'm not that. He has alot of people, like me that have fucked him over throughout his life which makes it difficult for the both of us but we understand. Lately when we talk about eachother it's not really in a jokey way, when I say I want to hug him he is serious about it and wants the same, same with kissing. We play games together sometimes like csgo or something or like last week he streamed me DMC on discord and we just spoke about video games and anime and just about everything really. We do kinda speak lewdly but it's not graphic and I don't show him anything and he doesn't show me anything either. It's just like, " oh I want to touch you " and stuff

Well you already love each other, that's pretty obvious. Can't get more obvious than that. Don't fell discouraged that this is long distance. People like you and him probably find it awfully difficult to get into a relationship with a person "close to you", mostly because people judge you a whole fucking lot in life. I know because I am like that too! But you two are getting to know each other in a deeper level first before you even physically meet, there's a charm and a magic to that, even if it's difficult.

So, you are pretty much "together" at this point, I'd say. You two are already in love, and are already doing couple things. If all that's left is for you to say the big "Hmm, you know, I really love you a lot", go for it. Go for it, and stay strong together, you'll both need it, and I'm sure you both can overcome anything. And once you do, it'll be the most rewarding thing you'll ever feel.

With this kind of thinking, both of you will get nowhere.
Trust me, I know. I missed enough oportunities. Trust the "elders" on here, we've been through some stuff in life. You dont want to miss good opportunities, you're lucky enough to hear some good opinions on here, use the knowledge we grant you.

Whew I'm really glad I can hear this, really I am. There's actuallt a lot more examples that could allude to him loving me, i went on a trip to Japan early this month and didn't talk to him for around 2 weeks which i didn't speak to him at all because we got into a little argument about cuddling which he didn't feel like he was close enough to me to do that ( he does talk about cuddling with me now ) when I got back I was suprised with 14 messages about him talking about a game we both like on Facebook and that he misses me and a message on steam asking if we can play csgo. Now in pic related isn't the messages he sent me early this month but early this week when we were talking about how I feel a bit insecure about myself and my constant apolgzing to him. Sometimes he may ignore me (I do the same because I'm nervous to talking to him) because he is playing a game or something he'll maybe it's the same reason as me idk. Maybe he does love me back I'm not sure but yeah I kinda feel he does. Pic related was me talking about how I was asking him if I should go on another Facebook break

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And as far as you know, you're the only one currently even thinking about making a relationships together. So if you aren't going to do it, you can effectively know it will never happen.

It is a terrifying feeling.
My life became so much better when I met you. It was not like it was bad before, but you just made everything better. I talk to you for a minute and I was happy the rest of the day. I have never felt that way before.
But, I never told you.
Every time you flirted with me, I changed the subject. Whenever you talked about who you were and what you did, I got anxious because it was too good to be true. Girls like you do not exist. You can do practical work and you are really intelligent. You look like a model and you smile when you see me.
I showed you the most nerdy and honest side of me and you listened and learned from me.
If we had met under other circumstances, I might have more courage.
But it was my first job after uni and I was a teaching assistant, your teacher.
I knew that you wouldn't be cruel if you rejected me, but what kind of teacher asks out his student? No, it is better to not say a thing and just be friendly. You are too perfect and I want this too much.
Working at a university is hard.

One of you has to grow up and ask the other out. Why does it have to be the guy?

>girl clearly loves him back

Been in his situation.
It's not so clear to him.

He suspects, but he does not KNOW.
And that's the problem. He's thought he had a chance before and it went disastrously.
Hence the anxiety.

I've flatly refused to ask out girls because even when they've make it clear as possible (without outright telling me), and I've suspected they might like me - I tell myself "Yeah, I've thought that before though".

Dude probably had some girl showing signs of interest in the past - or so he thought - and ending up taking a fucking harsh ass rejection. Probably happened a few times.

Shit, I still don't ask girls out, even when they've straight up said to my face "why haven't you asked me out yet?".

Fuck it, if they want to go out with me so badly, they can fucking ask. I'm done mate.
I'll quiet happily die alone if it means avoiding that fucking trap.

>Why doesn't this guy do something that I myself don't have the courage to do

Do not you see the problem here?

how did you meet him?

Because he will be accused of rape.

Why can't you ask him out?

Why don't you do it? Stupid piece of shit. This is feminism. You want to be equal but look at you now, you can't even ask him out.

Fuck you op I tried so many times its your turn you have to do it too bad. The girl either likes toying with others feelings or shes just not ready to be in a relationship. Looks dont matter its if youre not ready for intimate relationships with another person. Fuck you too bad have fun in that time loop of regret because you fucked up at seinor year if youre reading this the girl im talking about not op lol.

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>Why don't guys ask out the girl that he loves when the girl clearly loves him back?
>I'm just too scared myself to ask him out
Kinda answered your own question there.

If you want a second chance "Makoto Kono," how about you feel sorry about spreading rumors about me being a homosexual because I had one white friend, even going to far as to say that he's a fucking school shooter , fuck you, he's cool, and on top of that you spread rumors about me being a fucking weeb despite me being japanese you racist cunt. If anything youre the actual fucking female nazi cause you told me when we were in middle school that you were german, and you also go turned on at 8th grade when I started practicing japanese. Fuck you its your turn i gave up the moment I realized you never caref about my words or took anything I said seriously so too bad. Thats your fault not mine.

Quads of void.

Burn it down doomgiver.

this is wild bro, get that shit outta my thread

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Don't be a pussy and ask him out. We live in a feminist world now, this isnt "his job", it's equally your responsibility.

Women are not worth it. Too bad our balls and reproduction instincts beg to differ.

Yeah but I don't think saying OP is a girl means they are a girl. Way too many boys say that. While they mean it, what OP is asking doesn't apply if he's a boy saying he's a girl.

I want to know does OP have a vagina or a penis.

The reason he hasn't asked you out is he has seen or heard you have other guys in your life. While you may say they mean nothing to you thats not what he believes. All these comments and discussions are meant to test you and see if you are consistent and sincere. Nothing is more of a turnoff and warning than a girl playing the field while acting like and saying she isn't.

I'm a virgin lol

why dont you tell us where did you meet this guy?

Trust issues, no alone time with you, your friends maybe cunts that try to help but don't (his may be dicks doing the same), he doesn't feel worthy, this stuff.

You might also switch from hints to more direct approaches in communication.

You dont deserve someone if you dont have the courage to ask him out.

This site is 18+

He's probably unsure and/or shy. I've been in this situation just recently. For several months, we were leaving bread crumbs for each other, reflecting each other. Then, I guess I took too long to ask her out (for the reasons I mentioned) and we eventually became distant.

Don't throw love away like I did. If your man isn't going to ask, you'll have to be the one to. Chances are he's going to say yes.

Satanic trips of truth.

>long distance
if he's too far away you should just give up