I have an ex who got into multiple incredibly bad relationships just so she'd have a boyfriend. Her time with me was ok but it soon became obvious she wasn't into me at all (so I was just there to be her status, basically). Now she's getting into more shit relationships.
She' has openly confessed that she does it just to be in a relationship, and that she doesn't enjoy all the shit coming from it. When asked why, just said "It's important!" and couldn't explain.
After this happened I looked back to my earlier experiences and identified a fuckton of people (both genders, mind you!) who were also "relationship chasers" and got fucked up because of it to various degrees.
What's the big deal? There's worse things than being single. Being in a shit relationship is one of them. What is causing this degeneracy?
getting regular sex is pretty nice to some people. that’s pretty much the only reason i can think of.
Joshua Bell
Most people feel broken if they dont have a partner.
Landon Davis
Dying alone sucks. It helps with loneliness and gives you a level of intimacy friendships can not. Then there is the time factor panic of everyone else getting matched up and you are told, can never have kids etc. It is a bit like being unemployed( unemployment is worse don't get me wrong.) If I was unemployed for a month or two it would honestly be fine. Help me sort out my life play more vidya etc. But I coulsnt do that because I would be freaked the fuck out because I need a job or I will end up fucking homeless. So i would take a shit job because it is better than nothing. Problem with relationships you can't just shop for something better while you are in one.
Robert Parker
I wouldn't argue for sex being the reason. Prostitutes and one night stands exist.
What is this broken-ness though? Call me weird but I don't get particularly fucked by being lonely.
Zachary Green
Seems like my question was answered while i was typing. I was never really bothered with dying alone or having company at all times (On the basis that it changes nothing in the end).
I guess most people spend more time thinking about how it all ends than me.
Solid explanation. Thanks.
Austin Collins
it’s not just sex though it’s intimacy. being in a relationship fosters that kind of behavior, hookers generally do not.
Elijah Adams
People like that are insecure and needy and they attract similar people into their lives a lot of the time which is why she says her relationships are shit. It takes work but you have to be happy with being alone and fixing yourself before starting a serious relationship
Asher Diaz
You know when you watch an anime and you want to protect a girls smile? Like that but with 3dpd
Jacob Jones
There are a lot of people out there who simply aren't able to stay on their own for a x amount of time. And it doesn't affect romantic relationships only, but even friendships.
Levi Bell
Social peer pressure, depressive personalities, complexes, not wanting to feel alone in this world, primitive reproductive instinct, etc
It's not degenerate per se, look at the animal kingdom as an example ...
Xavier Anderson
I've had this feeling in some past relationships and it was great.
However, not having that feeling doesn't upset me at all.
I'm kinda comparing it to addiction now. People getting used to this stuff so much that they absolutely need it at all times. It seems to be about right.
Connor Gonzalez
>What is causing this degeneracy?
Ugh. Not another one of you cancerous morons. It's simple psychology. Some people were never taught how to be alone as children. They never learned how to develop a sense of self without relying on someone else to define them. Blame it on personality disorders and shitty parenting. It has nothing to do with "degeneracy", you idiot.
Daniel Lee
Yeah but I can see someone wanting the high chasing it. I have also pursued relationships because not giving a shit about them lowers the pressure and I like the company/being wanted.
Joshua Miller
Oh, did I trigger something with that word?
I meant it as a generic insult. Like "stupid" or "foolish" .
I'd say that I'm correct in that regard. Even if we argue that the people arent't dumb themselves, the shitty parents were, in that case.
Ayden Bennett
>Oh, did I trigger something with that word? No, you just pigeon-holed yourself as an unintellectual knob. >I'd say that I'm correct in that regard. Even if we argue that the people arent't dumb themselves, the shitty parents were, in that case. You're not correct. Believing that smothering your children with affection and validation and never letting them gain independence is always the product of stupidity is, well, stupid. Parenting is an extremely difficult, multifaceted relationship dynamic. People tend to either compensate for the things they felt their parents never gave them or treat their children the exact way they were treated. A lot of people think they're sparing the kids the pain of feeling alone by constantly being there and being involved in every aspect of their lives but in the end, when it comes time for the child to make it out on their own, it only damages them. Generalizing this very complicated psychological mechanism as "stupid" is, much like your vocabulary, childish and oversimplified.
Hunter Moore
Its a meme you dip.
Wyatt Davis
Its a stupid meme and you should feel stupid for using it.
Most people need to feel normal. Don't trick yourself into thinking that Jow Forums is representative of how the real world works. We're actually the odd ones out for being able to be by ourselves. In the real world, 99% of people would do whatever it takes to remain normal and accepted
Incidentally, this is also why Jow Forums's political opinions are absolute shit
I'd argue it's addictive impulsive personalities; there is such a thing as 'growing' in love because receiving affection stimulates the same brain regions as cocaine for example. These people are most often in close co-dependant relationships, so when it ends it's like removing a junkie's drug of choice and they go look for the nearest fix.
This might be bad advice, but if you no real family/social life I do recommend getting into one of these relationships at least once. It might seem dumb to 'stick your dick in crazy' but I believe the grief from when it inevitably ends will jump start a period of self improvement (assuming you yourself don't have an addictive personality). Those are my 0.2 cents from experience.
Asher Reyes
It's just this. People tend not to word it that way because it makes you seem desperate (if you're a man) or worse, a slut (if you're a woman). Women have an even harder time here because in addition to sex feeling good enough to chase (like comfort food), they also have a greater emotional need than men for a feeling of a connection and being wanted, which sex provides (in the most shallow way possible, but also the easiest).
