Why is getting a gf so ridiculously difficult?

>Anyone can have a girlfriend
That's a lie. Lots of anons want a girlfriend just on this board and still can't get one.

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>anyone can make this recipe
>no they can’t, there are people who want to but can’t

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They can't get one because they actively avoid getting one. And just lie about it. You too could get a gf if you wanted to, incel.

Just spend some time watching cops and see all the crackwhores and trashy women being arrested. Those could be your girlfriend, user. That would satisfy your requirement of being a girl and willing to be in a relationship with you. Go get em, tiger!

>They can't get one because they actively avoid getting one
I'm so sick of this meme. Why are you even here, if you don't want to help others?

>tfw saw a dude is interested in me so just approach him first and ask him out
>he says yes and now we're dating

Why don't women ask guys out more this was really uncomplicated. I wish I realised this before sooner

Ment for but fuck you too.

You shouldn't be here. The board for whiny faggot incels is Jow Forums. This board is for people who actually want to be helped and want to self-improve.

Fags like this are half right. It's easy o get a girlfriend if you work to becoming the type of man women are attracted to. And it has little to do with your physical appearance. You have to learn how to love yourself before anyone else can love you. Accept what you are, and look to what you can become, and get to work. Lowering your standards and fucking fat single mothers is not the answer to your problems either.

I'm waiting for good advice here, because faggots like you are shitting up this board.

Girls are told they can have and deserve it all without offering much more than a wet hole in return.

I guess if the question is "why is getting a girlfriend difficult?" You first need to adk why it is difficult for you, then change that

I’ve tried everything and still can’t get a girlfriend.

I’m sociable, in shape, dress well, have social hobbies that allow me to meet women, but I can’t make women interested in me due to my personality. My looks are at least decent because I get plenty of matches on Tinder. But none of them are interested in me when I start messaging

Same goes for women I talk to in person. They’re happy to be my friend or make friendly conversation, but no one wants to date me. Something about the way I talk or carry myself must actively repulse women sexually

Ultimately men like me who are fine appearance wise, but socially deficient or can’t flirt properly, are shit out of luck. Most guys who say they “improved them self and got girls” were just ugly or unhygienic and fixed that aspect of themselves, but flirting and seduction come naturally to them. No one has any advice for men like me who already “maxed out” our appearance but are held back by lack of sexual knowledge/masculinity/charisma/just being autistic.

Stop lying. You don't want advice. You don't want a gf. You only want validation for your whine, and how it's all women's fault that you are a whiny faggot and sack of shit who has never asked a girl out.

At least you acknowledge your shortcomings. Yes, if you are boring and desperate, you're going to have a very hard time attracting girls. If you've managed to improve enough of your physical self, then what's stopping you from improving the part that you know is your weak point? Get new cool hobbies, enjoy what you do, have fun in life.

Flirting and seduction didn't naturally come to those people you see. They learned it, like everyone else did. You should learn it too.

I suggest reading this

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Because nobody wants you to be their boyfriend. You just gotta accept it.

This. I dont understand why its still the case that men have to put everything on the line in lieu of the sexual revolution and womens lib. Women scoff at traditional roles and ways of life yet enshrine traditional rules of courtship? Perhaps the scoffing is an empty gesture.

I already have hobbies that are pretty interesting. Like I said, they allow me to meet plenty of women and give me some cool things to talk about, but they obviously don’t improve my flirting skills

I think you underestimate how hard it is to change your personality. I’m awkward, goofy, clumsy, not naturally charismatic. I can and have tried very hard to improve these areas and become more smooth and confident, and I HAVE improved, but I’ve not improved enough to attract women. I don’t know how else I can improve anymore. I’ve been working at this for years with absolutely zero results

Flirting and seduction does come naturally to some people. How else do you explain that most men have never had any significant trouble finding dates and partners?

I see this book recommended a lot. But what is it? What will it teach me that I can’t learn elsewhere?

I don’t see how a book is going to override my natural inner awkwardness and total lack of game

Yeah that's because your physical appearance doesn't really matter. I didn't tell you to start lifting or take a bath. I mean it certainly helps, but your completely right, your personality, your actions, how you carry yourself, that all matters way more. An there's plenty of resources out there on how to develop yourself. Sure, you cant change your core personality or who you are, but i'm sure there things you CAN change that would go a long way.

'Equality', until it beccomes inconvenient

But it is 10 times more difficult to change your personality than your appearance.

I was led to believe when I was younger that if I improved my appearance, I would get girls. So I spent years cultivating my looks, losing weight and getting in shape, buying stylish clothes, finding out what haircut fits me best. And what do I get? Zero attention from women. Just like I did when I was a fat teenager. It’s not fair.

I don’t even know how to change my personality. I’ve tried to do it for years with no success. I can’t override my natural clumsy, awkward, uncharismatic instincts

You have given up without trying, in other words.

Which leads me to the conclusion that a womans greatest fear is rejection, even more so than men. Its the ultimate slight against them.

>I don’t see how a book is going to override my natural inner awkwardness and total lack of game
The book isn't about 'game', it's about getting a better mindset towards your self-worth and seduction in general. I'm in a similar situation as you but the book really helped me open my eyes.

If you could tell me the exact things I need to do in order to change my personality, then I will do them.

Changing my appearance was easy. There were clear and specific steps to undertake. Changing my personality is near impossible. There is no clear way to make it happen.

Focus on something other than women. Jesus christ, no wonder why women aren’t partial to you. Based on your language, you did all those things hoping they’d be the ticket to a woman as opposed to doing them for your own self because you want to be the best version of yourself and strive for something greater.

I think you need to do some introspection and re-evaluate what it is you’re doing and why.

That's odd... My girlfriend won't let me pay for anything of hers even when she's clearly struggling. Like some months she's on that one a day meal diet because she's broke from paying school. It's fucking awesome not having to support someone.

Mindset doesn’t help for shit when I’m still an awkward, inexperienced guy who has a panic attack at the thought of asking out a girl

Your girlfriend is a rare bird. At least she’s going all the way and avoiding being inconsistent. Hang on to her.

Well, no, I didn’t do them for women. I did them because I was a depressed fat slob at age 16 and I thought that improving my appearance would make me happier. It did make me a lot happier

BUT I also assumed that once I became more attractive, I would receive more attention from women. That didn’t end up being the case.

I’m sick and tired of being a dateless virgin. I hate it. I feel trapped. I feel like I can’t be my true self. I want to change

I plan to, user. My situation isn't unique, though. I don't understand why all these people think that all women are scumbag leeches. I've known so many hard working independent women and it sucks hearing them torn down on this board just because they happen to share a gender with some shitty people.

Your mistake is thinking there is a clear set path. That flirting with girls is something you can do with an instruction manual. "If girl does A, then do B" and so on. There's no such thing. Every girl is different. The only way to learn is by experience.

Those "natural flirts" have been rejected countless of times. They've learned the game through experience. You can't learn if you don't practice. Just like you wouldn't become a master piano player just by reading about how to play the piano - you have to practice. And you will suck at first, but you're not going to think that all those virtuosos just magically got to where they are without practice.

I understand but i ask that you re-read the post i’m currently responding to and dwell on it. I think your issue is deeper than wanting a woman.

Again, you need to do some serious introspection. While you’re at it, start limiting the amount of time you spend indulging in any and all various forms of media (phone, computer, video games, etc), including this site.

The first step to changing your personality is to actually be open to changing it. You have to want to change. Change is hard. Change frightens us. Most people don't want that.

Also what said.

I don't mean to sound like an incel, but unfortunately they're right about womens' standards. You pretty much have to be rich with an athletic body and good facial aesthetics just to get decent women to notice you.

Please share your social hobbies with us. I want to pick up new hobbies to meet women, but I can't find anything interesting.

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But I’ve been through so much pain already.

If I ask a girl out and get rejected, I will be utterly miserable. It will confirm all my fears, that I am undesirable, that women do not consider me as a viable partner. I can’t take that kind of pain

Why is it this hard for me and not for anyone else? I don’t know of anyone else IRL who struggles with attracting women like I do. I know guys of all shapes and sizes, many of whom are very insecure themselves, but all of them can at least attract a few women. While I attract none. Why is that? Am I cursed? Did god curse me?

I don’t really play video games anymore, except for social purposes (like playing multiplayer with IRL friends)

I only go on Jow Forums and very occasionally Jow Forums (yes I know it’s bad and I don’t really like it but I need a place to vent my frustrations or else I will explode)

That incel lie needs to stop. Why are you trying to spread it?

So to make this clear... you have never once in your life asked a girl out? And here you are wondering why you're not getting girls. Seriously?

You are lying to us and to yourself. It's not harder for you than for others. Lots of people have a harder time than you in everything but they don't whine like a crybaby. Get over yourself, you're not a special snowflake.

>It will confirm all my fears, that I am undesirable, that women do not consider me as a viable partner. I can’t take that kind of pain
You sound like you have some problems that you need to work out first before asking anybody out. Pussy can't fix THAT shit.

Maybe because I've seen enough bullshit to know it's not a lie?

I’ve asked two girls out and both rejected me.

I don’t ask girls out because no girls appear interested in me. They don’t flirt with me at all.

What do you expect me to do? Am I supposed to ask out women who have no attraction to me? How is that a good strategy?

I know I’m delusional. But I genuinely do think I live a uniquely sexless life. I have never met or heard of any other man who has put in as much effort as I have and still received no attention from women. Most Jow Forums virgins are only virgins because they’re introverted shut ins or put no effort into their appearance. I’m a virgin because of abstract and undefinable factors. I’ve met no one else for whom that is the case

Your need for validation seems to be the core of them problem

It’s not my fault. My brain has been fundamentally damaged by 22 years of dateless virginity

If I can just find one woman who is willing to date me, it would help so much. I don’t mind if she breaks up with me. I just need someone to date me for a little while

You have to understand, I genuinely believe that I am the most undesirable man in the world. My life experiences have led me to believe this. I genuinely believe it is biologically impossible for any woman to ever be attracted to me. I NEED to find evidence that disproves that belief. Because that belief is ruining my life and making me miserable

You don't ask girls out because you don't want a girlfriend. Why did you give up before even trying? There's no other reason. Again, get over yourself. You're not a special snowflake. You don't have some special rejection fear that nobody else has.

Just get a prostitute

There are girls who want me as their bf, but I cannot get over the bad ideas I drilled into my head due in large part to sexual trauma. I've been trying to push myself in the right direction, but i'm really bad at it

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>I have never met or heard of any other man who has put in as much effort as I have
>asked two girls out in his entire life
Holy shit, you are delusional. Your mental gymnastics are way beyond any sanity and logic.

Try 25 years faggot.

Any higher bidders? 40+ grand wizards maybe?

No you haven't. What you have "seen" is repeated incel memes in your echo chamber, since you obviously haven't gone outside in years. You see ugly, fat, poor, whatever, guys all the time with girls out of their league. If you deny this fact, you are either stupid or a liar. In fact it's way easier for guys to date girls above their league, because women have much more pressure about their looks and spend more effort on looking good. Guys just need to not be complete pieces of shit.

The way I thought it worked was
>Guy meets girl
>Guy and girl flirt
>Guy then asks out girl

You’re implying that it works like
>Guy meets girl
>Guy instantly asks out girl without her giving any indications of interest

I don’t see how that makes sense, or can be in any way successful

I put a lot of effort into my appearance and self improvement. That’s what I mean

It’s not a competition. 22 years is too long for me. That’s all that matters

THIS
I don't get why women don't see this. alot of men, even attractive ones, strugle to date or even ask out a female
this is such an easy chance for a woman to get a man they find attractive. but instead they wait and reject half a dozen overly confident men hitting on them, until some good looking dude chooses to ask specifically her out instead of the other even better looking girls

maybe some females think that its some sort of necessary quality of a man to be able to ask out women, therefore they gotta let him do all the work lol

Take a look into yourself and see what it is that may be welcoming to females on a friendly level, but repelling on a more intimate level. As weird as it is, you need to understand how women think, especially how they talk among their friends, and be able to put yourself in their shoes and analyze what they see when they check you out.

Finding these issues and improving social skills and/or personality traits are difficult and take a lot of time/meditation. You've got to be able to think three steps ahead of women in terms of your "game". Even when you pinpoint what might be wrong, it takes literal attempting and practice to get used to smoothly advance things to the next level. That means actually get out there (don't ask where. You know the answer. Anywhere). Don't see your failure as a loss. See them as an opportunity to improve.

Perhaps you are waiting for them to make the move, perhaps you aren't interesting as the other guy she is talking to. Reflect upon what you think will make a specific girl want to come back. Women (really adults in general) are simple like monkeys. They want the thing that is rewarding and stimulating in the now, on the surface. They don't want to play games. They don't care about who you are deep down.

Another piece of advice. Delete tinder. I'm not gonna get into this but delete it and don't go back.

It just all sounds so difficult and complex.

No other guy I have ever met has ever had to try THIS hard just to get ONE date. Why do I have to go through this? Why am I not good enough as I am?

The generic answers would be:
>that you did not have a good male role model to use as a subconscious perpendicular for your actions towards women
>or you're on the spectrum
But, as we don't know and can't realy ever fully understand your circumstances, this generic answer very well might be false or very incomplete.

You lazy cunt nobody is going to brag about how much effort they put into getting dates, that is humiliating. Nobody is good enough without putting in the work, you either do it or give up and blame something like your height and dick size like everyone incel here does.

Both are true. I grew up without a father and am officially diagnosed with aspergers

But why should this condemn me to a life of misery? I don’t want to live like this anymore. It’s horrible. I want companionship

Your problem is that you think you're entitled to a gf. In fact, the most shocking fact is that 50% of your male ancestors in total never reproduced.

Meaning that only the top 50% of the male population will reproduce biologically. Yep. Women are THAT picky.

So take from that what you will.

In order to solve your problem, you're just gonna have to go meet girls. The club is probably the best place to learn as it's socially acceptable and probably the most difficult environment.

Once you've got skills in the club join meetups and societies and game the girls there.

You're pretty much ready from then on.

>>that you did not have a good male role model to use as a subconscious perpendicular for your actions towards women
Well fuck that hit close home. I'm in a similar situation as OP (minus the wallowing in self-pity part). My dad as an amazing guy and taught me a lot about life, just absolutely nothing about girls (to be fair I never asked). I think my main problem is that I'm terrified of approaching girls in a romantic way. I've hand girls interested in me but I always end up pussying out.

>Why is getting a gf so ridiculously difficult?

Because your Sexual Market Value (SMV) is too low. Tall strong rich guys can get a harem easier than nobodies can get a woman to show up at the dinner table. Off to google you go, search term 'raising male SMV.'

I'm the guy you replied to
It's not as hard as you think. I lot of these things happen in your brain subconsciously without you realizing it most of the time. It's just a skill to manifest and process these thoughts.
Don't think of it as trying. You're the one who wants dates. Rarely does something pop into your life just because you want it. That's not how life works. Think of it like this - if you wanted to be a golfer, you wouldn't say "why do I need to practice my shots, aren't I good enough as it is?" And honestly, once you get some experience you will find that getting a girlfriend is not as hard (or as big of a deal) as you thought it was. In fact, after a few months of having one, you'll realize that you don't even want one anymore.

There is absolutely no statistical evidence to support the fact that only 50% of modern men reproduce. You are talking out of your ass

Stop peddling this incel logic that “only perfect specimen chads get women”. It is blatantly false, and you would realise that if you stepped out of your house and paid attention to the kinds of guys that are out there dating women

Mate I'm sorry to say it's true lol. It's scientifically backed but obviously controversial so not talked about. You have to put a good deal of effort in to get results with girls lol

You're wrong about "indications of interest". They are there but you don't see them. Or want to see them.

Regardless of indications of interest, if you like a girl, you ask her out. Simple. End of story. No excuses. No ifs and butts.

50% of men and women reproduce, true. But the other 49% are also having sex and enjoying relationships, not just reproducing. The less than 1% that aren't are mostly because of voluntary reasons. Incels number less than 0.01% of the population.

To add to that, obviously more guys get laid since the evolutionary stakes aren't as high BUT (and this is a big BUT) , women still have the same evolutionary sexual preference. Which is why only the top guys do get laid.

>only the top guys do get laid
Post even one shread of evidence or leave this board forever, incel. Your cult of liars is not welcome here.

actually that is based on historical genetics, we have changed as a society so much in the last 100 years is not even funny. Not only that even before that, since the agricultural revolution mating dynamics have suffered revolutions after revolutions. Thinking this study applies to us 100% is naive at best.

>No other guy I have ever met has ever had to try THIS hard just to get ONE date.
Exactly, no one has tried as hard as you. Meaning, no one has done as little as you. Everyone else has done a lot more work than you have. You literally admitted you have in your entire life only asked two girls out. That's "working hard" ? That's being a fucking lazy cunt. Go back there and ask girls out.

>And it has little to do with your physical appearance

Why lie about this ?

I agree with all the other things you've stated, but telling other people that looks don't matter that much is complete bullshit.

Everyone wants to get with someone who looks good (it's human nature to seek out an attractive mate).

So why are you lying about this ?

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Sup incel? Go back to Jow Forums and come back once you learn how to respect women. Maybe you'll get laid then, virgin loser.

Look, the reason you can't find a gf is because you're looking for one so bad.

The moment you start doing things for you and making yourself feel the best you can be, then someone will come along. Happens a lot. When you give up and stop trying so hard to get one they flock

I’ve only asked two girls out, yes. But I have put intense and painstaking effort into improving my appearance. That’s years spent losing weight and working out to get into decent shape and maintain it. Years spent (and a lot of money) acquiring a wardrobe of clothes that is both stylish and suits my look.

Then there’s all the effort I’ve put into building my social skills, making friends, developing hobbies and talents to make me a more well rounded man.

There are guys out there who are chubby, or even outright fat, and still get girls. There are guys out there who roll out of bed and throw on the same rags they wore in high school and still get girls. There are guys who are extremely introverted and don’t bother socialising but still somehow get girls. What effort have they put in?

If you’re saying the literal only effort that counts is asking out girls, then that just proves how unfair dating is. I have put so much effort into improving myself and still lose out to guys who are lazy about their lives and appearance, just because they are better flirts than me

>I have put intense and painstaking effort into improving my appearance. That’s years spent losing weight and working out to get into decent shape and maintain it. Years spent (and a lot of money) acquiring a wardrobe of clothes that is both stylish and suits my look.
And? You think you're somehow special? What you described is simple basic stuff that any normal male has done. No, you have not worked hard. No, you have not put in a lot of effort. What you have done is simply the normal amount of keeping yourself in shape that most men do.

>What effort have they put in?
They have actually asked girls out. You haven't.

Because it's fucking true. And it's not so much that looks don't matter at all, they can get your foot in the door for sure, especially if you rely on online apps like Tinder. But your personaity and actions matter way more when building female attraction. Women are biologically programmed to seek out dominate alpha male personality traits in males, this is what they are actually attracted to. Because if a male shows those traits, they are more than likely going o be able to protect and provide for them and their offspring. You can eaisly overcome shortcomming in your physically appeerance, if you isplay the right traits, but it is much harder to overcome beta/ weak personality traist, even if you are really good looking.
This is the exact situation OP is in, he has worked on his physical appearance and made himself attractive, yet it has done almost nothing for him because he still doesn't display attractive alpha traits.

Pretty obvious by now. Girls want above all a guy who is *fun to be around*. Who will show them a good time when they are together. You are the exact opposite of that. Just from a few posts on a Cambodian weed farming forum I've grown sick of you. If you're this insufferable online, I can't imagine how awful you must be to be around in real life.

Seriously you radiate so much negativity that it's more than obvious why girls aren't attracted to you. And why guys don't want to be your friends.

I see what you’re saying, but not EVERY male has done that

Most men have absolute no fucking clue how to dress. They have no clue what is actually in fashion or what fit of clothing actually suits their physique. I’ve seen guys dressed like slobs (plain t shirts, baggy jeans with stains, dirty sneakers from their school days) get girls. How is that fair?

And you still haven’t told me what I’m actually supposed to do. Again, I receive ZERO sexual attention from women. Do you want me to approach random girls? Do you want me to ask out a girl from my class? Do you want me to ask out a female friend that has never viewed me sexually? Do you want me to go to girls at parties asking them on dates even though none of them flirt with me?

How can I ask out girls if no girls want to be asked out by me?

You've maxed out your appearance but you're failing to listen to everyone else on this thread that's telling you even if you're the most attractive guy in the world, your appearance is going to be valued even less than an average woman's appearance. You've focused so much on your outward appearance you haven't even thought about how to develop an interesting personality, confidence, career, passions or other social attributes that will take you a lot further in your romantic life as a man than your looks ever will. You're just being a whiny cunt who doesnt want to actually work to improve himself because you've fixated on 1 element of yourself that you believe you got right.

Well what is the solution?

I would gladly appreciate any advice. Because evidently the things I was told as a teenager, that I have to be physically attractive and sociable to get girls, aren’t actually true. Evidently there is something else I’m missing that means I’m “not fun for girls to be around”

I’m willing to change. I’m sick of this life. I want to change

It’s not that I don’t want to change my personality. It’s that it’s so difficult. I don’t even know where to begin

I have literal autism. I grew up with no father. I was bullied as a teenager. This isn’t just simple shit I need to learn. I need to entirely reprogram my brain. Is that even possible?

>humans are cattle
t. experienced Jow Forums biologist

>no girls want to be asked out by me?
How do you know this? You don't. In fact this is the cop-out you use in order to not try. That girl you were too scared to ask out? It could very well be she would have said yes. But now you will never know.

First and foremost, stop whining. Nobody like whiny desperate guys. Second, stop thinking about girls in general, for a while. Third, do things that make you happy. Be happy. Enjoy life. Fourth, when you hang out with people, be that happy guy enjoying life.

>I’ve seen guys dressed like slobs (plain t shirts, baggy jeans with stains, dirty sneakers from their school days) get girls. How is that fair?
>fair

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>There are guys out there who roll out of bed and throw on the same rags they wore in high school and still get girls.

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Well it’s not my fault if girls are interested in me but do literally nothing to indicate that interest. I can’t read minds.

Look, I’m fine with doing the asking out. That’s cool. But I need the girl to do her bit first. I need the girl to flirt, show some interest, give me the go ahead. I can take it from there. What the fuck am I supposed to do if girls just give me nothing and act totally uninterested towards me?

I’m tired, user. I’m tired. This has weighed on me for years now. I just want this long journey to be over. I want to be free

Well, it isn’t.

Yes, funny joke. I saw this coming

But I’m not fat and I don’t wear fedoras. I actually keep up to date with current fashion trends.

I’ve had several girls compliment me on my dress sense. You can fault me on many things, I am a very flawed man. But no one who knows me personally would ever say I dress badly. I dress brilliantly

More like gorillas or chimps, you know, since humans are primates. But somehow humans are the only animals on earth not driven by basic biology right? You don't feel the basic need to eat and reproduce, you're above that.