ITT: Ask the opposite gender anything

When you're hanging out alone together, get close to him and initiate physical contact.
See how he reacts.

One thats attached to someone who preforms cunniligus.

I dont mind you not having a license, just dont expect me to drive you around all the time. If we've planned something ahead of time, I wouldnt mind driving, like a date. But if we have a spontaneous meetup or something, itd be annoying if it was me picking you up everytime.
Though, if I know this going in, Im not going to expect many spontaneous meetings in the first place.

I admit I tried that a few months ago. I sat on his lap a couple of times without warning and linked arms with him and stuff to try and get a reaction but he is one of those people who is totally unbothered by stuff.

Before I met him he nearly died of some obscure condition and according to his mum when they told him that he would need to go to hospital for treatment for the rest of his life all he did was roll his eyes once and then went back to smiling and being happy.

I don't trust myself to make a good decision here. Help. Bit of backstory:
>Issues with family
>Culminates in me being locked up in a mental hospital for 4 months after having a physical fight with my parents
>Forced to cut down on work, since the psychiatrist feel most of my issues are likely directly linked to me working 70 hour a week for 4 years with no vacations
>Quit my job and see if I can find something low stress for 15-20 hours a week.
>Meet recruiter guy who unfortunately cannot use a part timer
>Still very interested in me
>Starts trying to get me on dates
>Surewhynot.jpg
>Super nice guy, desu, even if he was a bit of a fatguy with an awkward stammering
>Even end up going to the gym together as a "date" because he wants to improve
>3 months of somewhat regular dating, and he tells me he wants to go fully out with me, and be serious about this, and that he can see himself marrying me
>We haven't even had sex yet
Aaand, I haven't told him about my mental breakdown.

My psychiatrist tells me she refuses to make that decision for me, and said it might be good to have a stable pillar in my life, but that I had to be careful about potential stress a relationship could create. That didn't help me much.

My current ideas are
>Tell him I can't, and let him go
>Tell him the truth and give him a few weeks to figure out if he really wants this
Open for other ideas. I just don't trust myself to make the right decision here. I like him, but that's exactly why I don't want to hurt him or make his life miserable if I can't keep my shit together.

Yeah I wouldn't expect them to drive me around, for the most part i'm self sufficient with uber. I feel like finding a girl might be the motivation I need to actually get my license..

Tell him the truth, he most likely will still want it; and if not how else do you find out if you're making a mistake.

>psychiatrist feel most of my issues are likely directly linked to me working 70 hour a week for 4 years with no vacations
What the fuck. Is this some sort of suicide attempt? The hell have you been doing that requires this much work?

>3 months
>No sex and he still wants to commit to marriage
Wew. Poor guy.

I don't know man. I would tell him regardless. He will just think you've used him if you just up and leave after so long. He just sounds like the kind of guy who might agree only to regret it all later down the road.

That kind of sounds like you're hoping for him to make the decision for you too. Like, you'll tell him and he'll either say stay or go to a relationship, when really you need to decided for yourself if you want to tell him and whether you are interested in having a relationship if he still wants to. I can't imagine why he'd say no, break downs happen and it sounds like it was a while ago.

I am worried he might say it doesn't matter only to later regret that decision after I've ruined his life with my issues. I have no way to know how this might affect him.

>He just sounds like the kind of guy who might agree only to regret it all later down the road.
My issue exactly

>What have you even doing
Programming. It has just always been a "stay longer than the guys or be looked down upon" so I always felt I had no choice but to be there first, and leave as the last person. Didn't feel like it was a problem until I suddenly snapped.

I'll be honest, I am not even sure why we haven't had sex yet. No date has taken us anywhere where it was really possible. Feels like he wants to hold out on it.

If I felt I could be full on selfish, I'd say yes in a heartbeat. Unfortunately, my job prospects are likely not that good from here on out if I want to remaing healthy, and I can't say for sure if I can stay mentally stable. I feel like I'll be an anchor unless he is really just looking for a stereotypical housewife.

Can I flirt with other girls if I made out with someone who I am technically "friends" with? And at what point to I need to stop fucking around and commit to her?

Why do women bring their angry over wieght friend with them when they go out for drinks and fun?
Is that a sign to leave them alone?
Feels like the fat friend is like a gaurd dog and if their gaurd dog doesnt like you the owner wont.

Are you the overweight friend? Because it looks like your fingers are too fat to type correctly

Keep flirting but treat that girl specifically special.

Ladies, where would you put an online friend in terms of priority?

I myself put online friends and irl friends on the same level. I just want to know if others feel the same way because it seems like I've burned myself on one online friendship already because of my position.

No i am arthritic, my fingers keep curling and I miss type a lot.

You are really gonna grammar nazi this?

Talk to your "friend" about what she expects, and make sure you are on the same page. We can't tell you from here.

I've made out with a guy I really liked before, but the spark just wasn't there for me while we made out. He moved on, and I didn't really care. If I had cared, I'd probably have been pissed. It doesn't take much to ask, just to be completely sure you're on the same page.

Looking back all I did was grammatical errors. Dont see any problems here on a chinese bootleg image board.

An online friend isnt as important as someone who immediately affects my life.
If they do affect my life, then yes, they would be on the same level.

Why do guys insist on assuming everything girls do is somehow related to them?

If we go out with a friend, it's because we are going out with a friend. There is no secret reason behind it.

I see, then it's my fault.

Well she claimed that she wanted to stay friends for now, but would remain open to anything down the road. We do text daily and try to hang out as much as possible, so I'm not sure if she wants something more.

Isnt this the question and answer thread? Isnt this the place to ask such questions?
Mainly I aaked so I would leave them alone. If there is no reason then just say so.

Guys never do, the problem is that you get easily offended when people ask you questions.

>Why do guys insist on assuming everything girls do is somehow related to them?
But that's what women do.

Sounds like bullshit. Don't mind her and go flirt. If she wants to stay friends, you have 0 obligation to remain available for her sake.

They bring the fat friends because they look better compared to her when they go out.

I asked a question while answering yours. I assumed that was okay to do in a thread dedicated to questions and answers. Sorry if that offended you.

It really isn't.

I'm 27 and I've never as much as held a girl's hand. Even if I fixed all the emotional problems holding me back, I'm afraid that I'll never find a relationship because no girl will want a guy nearly in their 30s and doesn't even know how to kiss.

Thoughts on this? Would you dismiss a guy based on lack of experience?

I'd be lying if I said online friends are at the same level as IRL friends.

>Sorry if that offended you.
Not offended, its just not an answer when you give a 2nd answer. One was just out of spite, which frankly I am not surprised, the 2nd was more to the point.

Someone dealt with an older side with this problem last thread here:
Sounds like you're fine if you can keep your autism and insecurity under tabs.

>It really isn't.
You don't pay attention to what you do then.

Not nearly as important. I probably don't even know the person in question because many people tend to lie online, present themselves in a very different light etc. etc. I like what they show to me which is why I am their friend, but I am aware that I see them imperfectly.

>Thoughts on this? Would you dismiss a guy based on lack of experience?
Depends on how much I knew about his background and how honest he was about his lack of experience.

Oooooooh. I feel bad for the fat friend now.

Attached: 1532738864654.gif (500x375, 371K)

>its just not an answer when you give a 2nd answer
I only gave you a single answer.

I apologize if it was confusing that I put the question first and the answer second. I'll keep that in mind for next time a post prompts a question from me.

Yeah, but you shouldn't since they are usually cunts too.

>I apologize
Its cool, to answer your question, we dont. We see what women put out there and become enamoured in one way or another and feel the urge to be apart of that.

They may not be so cuntish if their friends didnt use them like that.

>You don't pay attention to what you do then
Guys thinking what we do is for your sake because you happen to like it =/= doing it for your sake.

Example: It's very likely you feel we work out for your sake, but we actually do it to stay in shape and for health reasons. We also breathe for our own sake, and not because you prefer us alive.

But they are still too blind to see that and will continue to be friends with them. I would know since my fat ex refused to take any advice from me.

Interesting read. Thank you.

>Guys thinking what we do is for your sake because you happen to like it =/= doing it for your sake.
That's what you want to believe. When thats far from the case. Most of the time we notice things you dont put effort into in contrast and find that alluring. I know its hard to believe but the horror stories girls tell each other are just over reactions to a misunderstanding.

The desire to not be alone is strong, but to be told you are being used and dont feel it is even harder to grasp.

Funny how you keep making this narrative up, if it were true, we would force women to excersize and physically fit.
Seems like you put this notion on yourselves and use men as an excuse to hate yourself.

I see. I'll have to reconsider what a friend is then. Thank you for the information.

>I'll have to reconsider what a friend is then.
You should be reconsidering your priorities.

That's the phrase I was looking for. Thank you.

I've met this girl on a dating app
We don't talk much because her job is taking most of her time during the week (she's only free on Sunday)
She's not really cute but each time we talk it's a delight and we have a lot of hobbies in common
We haven't met yet but I'm starting to have a crush on her and I'd like to go further
Problem is that I'm leaving the country in 2 years to pursue my career and there's no way she'll come with me (she has horses to take care of in our home country)
I don't know if I should try a relationship with her since it is doomed to end
Any one living or having lived that situation? What would you do if you were me? If you were her?

>I'm leaving the country in 2 years to pursue my career
A lot can happen in 2 years.

Move on or at least have a couple of fun dates with her.

I suppose that makes sense. That's just a bit unfortunate, as that can give some very wrong ideas.

I suppose that's why going to the gym is pretty risqué if you aren't comfortable about being checked out, though. Always feels like a lot of guys assume we are there for attention.

Honestly, it depends on whether or not you are willing to break things off with her once time runs out

Yes but I'm not backing down from that job unless I catch a disease that stops me from going there
It's too good of an opportunity

>Honestly, it depends on whether or not you are willing to break things off with her once time runs out
That's what I'm afraid of
I am going there, no question asked
But I don't want that to hurt badly, be it her or me or both

>Yes but I'm not backing down from that job unless I catch a disease that stops me from going there
Unless you've already been offered the job and have signed a contract, you're counting your chickens before they hatch.

I have no doubt you find a lot of things alluring despite us having no intention to make it so. After all, you guys do the same.
>I know its hard to believe but the horror stories girls tell each other are just over reactions to a misunderstanding
This I agree with you 100% on. I don't give any credit to anything my friends tell me. I've long since stopped trusting their stories about their cruel and mean *whatever*, because they needlessly vilify people for no good reason, guys and girls indiscriminately.

I think you've misunderstood the conversation, user.

>Unless you've already been offered the job and have signed a contract
I could have been on my way there right know if I didn't have projects to end in my current position (my future job and my current one are both for the same company)
They literally need me there, they don't get enough people that are willing to go in another country for three years

No, they just want are friends with someone who is overweight and they want to hang out with them.
Not everyone girls do is because of you.

> t. ex fattie with tons of hot friends

>That's just a bit unfortunate, as that can give some very wrong ideas.
Men get that feeling of judgement from women a lot. Especially at the gym. But where men focus on the positives of the female bodies, it seems women focus on the negatives more.

Depends on how close I am to them.

Close online friends = Close IRL friends > random IRL friends > random online friends

My best friend is a guy I met on Jow Forums 3 years ago, and he means everything to me. But a random dude I talked to 4 times online isn't going to be as relevant to me as a random dude I talked to in person 4 times.

Lurk more

Its hard to come on to a woman with out seeming sleezey. Men now a days 2nd quess themselves constatly and put women on a pedistal. So there are so many crossing factors that make things harder.

It's not. Just behave like a normal human being.

You say that, then we get slapped with accusations.

I have never heard of anyone being accused of anything while he was acting respectful and decent.

I got back with my ex a month after we broke up. She's been yelling at me for various things, which is reasonable because I broke up with her. She wants me to come to her city to see her, but the phone call in which we were supposed to set that up she said "I'm breaking up with you" but after she told me a day and time and everything. Should I prepare to split? I'm hoping for the best but I'm doubtful.

Oh yeah, happens a lot because often times the some girls will take anything you say as an insult or looking down on them. When you are being nice women they will automatically believe there is an sexual motive or one that looks down on the sex.
Or they werent respectful enough, or they already have preconcieved notions about the male.
No matter how polight you are to some women they already judge you as a typical man.

>it seems women focus on the negatives more.
Guilty, but it's easy to accidentally show discomfort (being catcalled by a hobo who hasn't showered or shaved/trimmed in half a year will do that), where it's very easy to suppress a positive reaction to seeing someone.

I would be a giggling retard at the gym, if I visibly reacted to every positive thing about a guys appearance I saw.

Depends on what you mean respectful. There are more and more women who have this idea that if you dont agree with them you are being disrespectful.

I think it's more about finding the right kind of approach, and never go straight for any romantic or sexual advances. Be casual first, that'll make it a less likely to be seen as creepy, than if you approach a girl and instantly compliment her appearance, for example.

You know full well it's more complicated than that.

I'm sure some women like that exist, but it's far from the majority and it's hardly a consistent problem.

I took offense in guys hitting on me if they couldn't take a no, they were inapporpriate, they were cunts. No guy who ever acted polite and normal offended me or got accused of anything.

>Guilty, but it's easy to accidentally show discomfort (being catcalled by a hobo who hasn't showered or shaved/trimmed in half a year will do that), where it's very easy to suppress a positive reaction to seeing someone.
Yeah thats a hobo though. Same giys who huff paint.
No man expects you to react to us, except for those gym assholes, but from what you said you put men in the same catagory as the drugged up hobo.
This is where men are struggling because of a horrible few the rest of us have an up hill battle to prove we arent that.

I can understand that, but then there is sometimes where men arent hitting on you and thats how they are. I mean I think its clear from your story those guys were, but women would benifit a bit more if they looked at each man as a different person.

What you do you considered creepy? Because thats where the guy is trying so hard not to be.

I wouldn't let your lack of experience hold you back at all. If I met a guy later in life with little experience I'd count myself lucky and love to teach him all the things I'd presumably know. If somebody likes you otherwise and they reject you for your lack of experience then I don't see why you'd want to be with them in the first place.

I don't normally see that, unless your opinion is offensive in some way. For example if you are judging me for my sexual life and feel like calling me a slut, I might get offended by that even if it's "just your opinion".

In general I meant more respectful of my boundaries, can get a clue that I don't want you to be around me.

I mean, even if I think a guy is hitting on me and he isn't, I don't take any offense in that if he's being polite about it.

For example if a guy helps me with a heavy luggage, smiles and acts all nice I might assume he's flirting a little. If he isn't and he's just being nice, it's fine. I'm not going to be outraged by the fact that he flirts with me, so it doesn't matter if he isn't.

There is the crux of things really. I think men and women are too busy being afraid of eachothers most awful versions of our sex it holds us back and 2nd guess our selves.
Also when a guy talks to you respectfully there are times when a woman has been rude in responce.
Then we come here asking "duh, what did I do?" Like we did something offensive.

There has been a lot of girls latley doing just that.

>driving along listening to music
>pull up at traffic lights
>window open
>fall out boy circa 2005 shuffles on by pure chance
>teenage girls waiting at bus stop giggle at me
;_;

>but from what you said you put men in the same catagory as the drugged up hobo.
Not at all.

Granted, I get approached rarely. But I still deal with creepy guys who stare, and if someone who does that approach me later, I will be creeped out before the guy even starts talking, regardless of how he looks.

And even worse, the oddball who comes up to hit on me at some really odd place, and won't take no for an answer. Seriously, trying is not a problem, but you can be the smoothest 11/10 guy in existence, and you'll still be considered a creep if you are told "I have to go" and you don't accept that.

90% of all guys who approach me I have no issue with. I just don't show my interest in most cases (not good at that sort of thing, so that is a "me" issue), so it rarely leads anywhere. Doesn't make you a creep though.

I'm not afraid of men, I want them to leave me alone if I don't want to interact with them. I don't want men to force their company, their avances on me.

Unless you're literally being inappropriate, I never respond negatively. It might happen that one or two girls do that, but it's not the majority and you're making a huge deal out of anything.

Yeah, I can imagine the outraged girls who get mad at politeness.

I get that. You gotta be blunt sometimes with those guys.

How do girls feel about guys who sweat too much. Like just lightly working out, and that guy has a slight physical disability that is causing pain and sweat.

Girls don't have regular meet ups where they decide how they feel about something. Some girls will think it's gross, some others will think it's cute, some others won't think anything of it.

Personally - between cute and whatever.

Yesterday my FWB asked if my flat mates would bust my balls for how young she looked.

To me, she looks her age but the fact she said it really threw me off.

She's 19, I'm 22, is that a sleazy age difference? Should I stick to 20+ now I'm 22?

Not saying they do have meet ups. I just wanted know how they felt about such thing.