It's my first week in college and by acting meek and hide my skin-touching desire...

It's my first week in college and by acting meek and hide my skin-touching desire, I've made friends with people who actually acknowledged the fact that I exist. Every conversation I had with people, especially females, now came from them WANTING to talk to me, and not because they're under any moral obligation to do so (they even expressed real smiles and happy faces, something other than fake smiles and contempt). How can I make sure people think of me as a strong and dependable someone while also being meek (I wish to keep this momentum)?

Please answer this, I don't want to fuck up and be alone again. This is so close.

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If you have to trick people into thinking you are someone you are not then you are doomed to fail. Instead strive to actually become that person.

What even is the problem?

I don't want to be a doormat. I want people to share personalities with me.

Nobody knows your past. Nobody knows how you were labeled in high school society. Everyone will take you at face value. So just go with it

Go how? I can't take these unnatural conversations anymore. I fear I might drop it someday and everyone will avoid me once more.

Lool you love it all, really. You love the isolation and all this that's going along with it. If you want the emotional tumult of loneliness, get it. If you don't then don't?

If you're not some edgy fag, just tell people you're tired/sleep deprived when conversation feels unnatural but that you're happy to listen to whatever it was they were talking about.

Everyone has different levels of social endurance, people will understand when you need to give yourself a little rest.

I like this alright? I like it. I WANT to talk to others. But it occasionally feels like I want to go back, like I'd have less things to deal with if everyone just stayed away from me and allowed me to dwell into myself.

>I want to go back
So have a day or two where you do?

Nothing wrong with chilling in your room pursuing your shut in hobbys every now and then.

Yeah but now that I've friends and such, I can't put them out of my mind. The time I spend alone with myself are now dedicated to planning my next interaction and studying their personalities, such as now.

Oh, you have diagnosed autism?

Just tell me what I need to think, man.

Find a hobby if you haven't. Do interesting things. Become good at story telling, so people get real interest in you. Spent time on your appearance to not get ditched because you look ugly (this really happens). Hang out regularly and take initiative to ask your classmates.

What are 'interesting things'? How do you become good at storytelling without actually tell a story to anyone? How should I know where and what to do/say when we 'hang out'?

There's nothing wrong with thinking about your friends, if its getting to the point of discomfort then just play video games to take your mind off of it.

Being chill is all it takes to make and keep friends. Relax, you don't owe them any money.

I associate everything I do with my newfound friends. Every feeling I extract from those activities makes me think of them so it's impossible to get them offa my mind. The rate of interaction seems to have dropped significantly since my first time with them, but they're still positive and genuine ones so this could just be the rates normalizing, but I am not very sure so I've to try my best to keep them within my reach.

Sports, games, movies or whatever you like. Find classmates with common interests. If you know for instance that a classmate also likes to ride a bike then ask him to going biking together sometime. You can tell the things you experienced to your parents/brothers/sisters and try to improve the stories. Next day you can tell them to your classmates. Whenever you feel that you have interest in this person. Remember that everybody there wants to make friends.

How can you know if your stories are worth telling? If I'm only known as Someguy, what would keep them from just saying ''yeah, that's cool'' and walk away?

You don't. But if it doesn't sound to forced then someone with the same interests will probably like it. Also humour helps. The people that constantly walk away are not worth it.

I don't know who constantly walks away and who doesn't. I also don't know if my humor are considered humor to them at all. Also I can't just walk up to them in the middle of their convos and suddenly open up talking. It's just unnatural.

You have to find out. But do not try to fit in a group of people that you totally aren't. Also you shouldn't think about everything too much and get out of your comfort zone. If you know something about the conversation topic or have similar experiences, then just join the conversation. It is a normal thing to do. Observe people that have social skills and try to apply these techniques. You will find out that a lot of things you consider to be weird and unnatural aren't.

Observe. Observe how? I figure observing would only reduce my standing with them and their associates. Also, instead of leaving my comfort zone, how can I pull people into it? I mean, I guess they would actually acknowledge how special they mean to me if I actually manage to pull them in.

Secretly work out and pay attention to them rather than thinking for stuffs to say to make you feel praised.

You don't have to observe them in school. People socialize everywhere even in grocery stores. Common interests, remembering their birthdays or any important events they told you about. Use these in conversations. People like to talk about things you experienced together, that's why you should hang out with them. You don't have to become friends with anyone, just the people that you have interest in. Give complements and show interest, it's an easy conversation starter. For example if you see someone with new shoes, say you like them and ask where he bought them. Or if someone has his arm in bandage, ask how it happened. The person will probably tell you his/her story.