My gf told me that the security guard at a bus station called her beautiful and was giving her compliments.
She says this happens all the time and she hates it. I flat out don’t understand why this bothers her. If some girl came up and told me I was hot, I’d be flattered.
Can any woman explain?
Imagine it'd be fat ugly gay guy always telling you how beautiful you look instead of a girl and then imagine how you'd feel.
That's how your gf feels.
Flattered?
She doesn’t even like strangers winking at her, catcalling or staring at her large breasts though.
It’s more than just not liking, it gets her mad
they don't like it because it reminds them that they merely exist as sexual objects for men.
Personally I just don't know what to say in return, so it's really uncomfortable to go from idling around to turbo-speed-thinking to say anything else but "t-thanks, y-you too".
Shouldn't you be happy that your gf doesn't like creepy compliments from other men? If she liked it when men complimented her, you'd probably be even more upset, especially considering that usually if a man who is a stranger compliments a woman, he is looking to get in her pants.
Because the guys giving compliments stand there and wait for a reaction. And having to react to a random stranger is awkward, especially when his compliment shows that he's physically into you.
This level of humblebragging isn't even trying user. Get it together, nobody gives a shit some fat dude thinks your gf is hot.
That is normal mate, those are all cues that people are sexually interested in her, so unless a incredibly good looking guy does that it's uncomfortable. And even the guy is good looking, if the girl is in a relationship, this can be incredibly uncomfortable.
You should feel happy she isn't looking towards perceived sexual advances kindly.
>Shouldn't you be happy that your gf doesn't like creepy compliments from other men?
I’m not upset, I flat out don’t understand this mentality
...how am I humble bragging? I’m a fucking stranger on the internet. What am I even bragging about?
Fair enough.
It goes a bit beyond just being uncomfortable. She spins it into a feminist argument about living in a patriarchy where men don’t leave women alone.
Disregard the asshole, hes a a tripfag shitaltking people on every thread instead of giving advice. Ignore or report him.
Well every person is different. the level of anger or disgust people fell towards certain things is completely subjective, she might be a bit more sensitive to that than the average women.
>She spins it into a feminist argument about living in a patriarchy where men don’t leave women alone.
This however shows she has a preconceived notion of what those approaching her want a just a bad view of men in general. This is a huge red flag so be careful.
>This however shows she has a preconceived notion of what those approaching her want a just a bad view of men in general. This is a huge red flag so be careful.
Yeah, this is what worries me the most. I didn’t want to put the word “feminist” in the OP because it attracts maniacs.
She is nice to me though, I hope she doesn’t secretly hate other men
Nobody likes to be looked like if they were an object. Women are usually only looked for their beauty. They are treated as objects. Nobody wants to actually listen to their opinions. So imagine how your gf feels when she feels sexually harrassed.
Would you like ugly gay men to look at you as if they'd like to put their penises inside your asshole? You say that wouldn't bother you. Once. Women get that every time they go outside. Several times a day. They feel paranoid and neurotic because they can get raped anywhere and they aren't considered people. Just pretty objects you like to look at and would be pleased to fuck.
So yeah, I hope she leaves you if you can't understand this. Basic empathy.
You aren't a decent person are you?
>If some girl came up and told me I was hot, I’d be flattered.
this is because you aren't a mong. sadly many of us are mongs. from what i gather those of us who are bothered rather than flattered break down into 3 camps: scared, buttmad, or sperg
>scared
they feel intimidated or like they're suddenly in danger when it happens. this is the only one that comes close to having an ounce of legitimacy because you guys can indeed physically overpower us without too much difficulty. this one falls apart roundabout the moment you remember that if there are other dudes present they will step in and neutralise the threat. if nobody else at all is within earshot, wtf are you doing there in the first place. if said place cannot be avoided and it is potentially unsafe, why is your knife/mace/other still in your purse and not in your hand with the end tucked up under your sleeve? esp if 'murica, why are you not properly armed? if others are within earshot but would join in rather than come to your aid, you're in the black/muzzie part of town and, again, seriously wtf are you doing there??
>buttmad
see . some can't see past men's disability and view it as the totality of who they are as people and end up consumed by this and ceaselessly enraged at them for shit they can't help and do their best (well most of you do at least) to keep managed
>sperg
examples here
this one is just sucking at dealing with awkward social exchanges that make us uncomfortable and wishing we weren't presented with them because that's easier and less unpleasant than working on ourselves to improve in that area. i'm a fucking sped and a half myself when it comes to certain things (phone convos in particular) so i can empathise heavily with this one at least but still call bullshit on it because...well, that's just what it is. pretending otherwise helps nobody.
Women do not want men they are not interested in to call them out on it. Many men are pushy and have trouble accepting rejection -- just look at the turds you see on this board.
Men don't seem to understand we don't want that shit. Just like men, we just want to go about our day without having to deal with added bullshit. It's just on our end of things, we have to deal with men thinking their opinions of us matter at all and need to be voiced. They don't.
Thanks for this full answer!
I think in my gf case it is number 1 & 2.
In this specific case she was getting the bus in a black neighborhood
welcome. i saw the feminism mention so i promise i do realise how tall of an order this is but: pls find some way to redpill her even just a tiny little bit for her own good. this is by no means a selfless ask on my part, i want to see feminism ded and if a person only ever gets redpilled on one thing then race oughta be it, BUT i'm not saying "her own good" like her mental wellbeing or any of that crap, i mean like her actual physical safety. in the name of not being """"""racist"""""" people are lulled into a false sense of security and relax when they should react. distorted view of reality and being the unlucky bastard in the wrong place at the wrong time tends to have not so good results. if her public transport routes take her through those areas regularly she really really oughta be made aware of certain things. if you know how to swing it so she thinks stuff that's your idea was her own idea, do that with this.
Lmao, what the fuck is wrong with you? Seek help or get a therapist.
It is very nice to be complimented on your looks. Yet a stranger coming up to you out of the blue saying you are very beautiful - no matter how kind and friendly - is offputting. First off it usually makes me feel like I am being picked up and second, that I am being picked up solely because of my looks.
I think in a way I like being catcalled or whistled at better than a guy coming up telling me I am beautiful to start a conversation: A whistle or a catcall (in a respectful “boys will be boys” way) is a compliment but it allows you to maintain a distance. A shy smile in return and you can be on your way. Nobody asks for your number or wants anything else. A guy who comes up and compliments you on your looks puts you on the spot. They tell you they are interested in you solely because of your looks, but ettiquette requires you to return the conversation - even if you aren’t interested.
It is sad in a way really. I’ve been approached by very nice guys who wanted to get to know me better by complimenting me endlessly to soften me up and ask for my number or a date. But I would much rather meet a guy at a bus stop, have a good laugh, see where the conversation goes and if it goes well be asked for my number or for a date. It makes me feel we actually had a social click rather that I’ve been picked by this guy for looks alone. While obviously, during these brief meetings, looks and physical attraction always plays a part.
I'm a girl and it's not like it happens often to me but it makes me uncomfortable too. I don't have a good explanation for why really, but I always just wanna get somewhere far away when it happens.
Also a grill and I agree with this.
Compliments are always appreciated and make me feel nice, but I wouldn't want somebody to start a conversation with me by complimenting me. It's awkward, I'd be embarrassed and nervous.
But from my experience men here don't really come up to you and start conversations out of the blue with a compliment so it isn't a problem. It's usually either catcalls or employees who throw a compliment.
It depends on the person imo, my sister doesn't care about stranger compliments and gets annoyed if the guys are too persistent.
>i mean like her actual physical safety. in the name of not being """"""racist"""""" people are lulled into a false sense of security
She has these feminist ideas but she definitely isn’t afraid to seem racist
Nah bruh broh breh. Stop being a mysogynist
Same here OP
To make it even weirder, She loved it when I first met her and flirted with her.
Now she hates every man that even attempts approaching her
Because she's taken dumbass. It means she's no longer leaving herself open to other men