I've been obsessed with this one person on and off for nearly four years now. (She is now a woman - MtF.)
I went insane a while back (February 2017) and thought she was going to do something for me on Valentine's Day, and I thought I missed it. I became too scared to go to school and face the people I thought I'd disappointed by this. I lost a lot of weight and became even more delusional. I went to a mental hospital for nearly four and a half months. While I was there, I wrote her a nine-page letter (in a manic episode) basically apologizing for making assumptions and stuff. It was kind of embarrassing, because I think it made my feelings for her very apparent.
She didn't initially respond to the letter. When I asked her about it over text when I got out of the loony bin, iirc she basically just said she thought it was written in a "delusional state of mind" and that I had seemed to be talking about a "date" (not really, but ok) that was never planned and never happened.
Recently, I talked to my father about her and he reminded me that I had, in my delusion, accused her of possibly cyberbullying me and got her parents involved. (Yes, I regret this and feel bad.) I'm not sure if my letter apologized for that, and desu I don't want to look for or read the letter now to find out.
We haven't seen each other in a long time. She has ignored everything I've sent her since (I believe) October - on text, Snapchat, and Tumblr. (Not that I've been constantly trying to reach her; I've sent her on average probably less than one thing per month.) I told her on one text message that I'd like her to help me get over her (or something like that), and on Snapchat message that it hurt my feelings that she was ignoring me, but obviously she ignored those.
Anyways, should I contact her now and apologize for the accusation? What else should I do or not do?
This situation is so far removed from reality. No, you shouldn't contact her. You should get off the internet and go chop firewood.
Leo Collins
>(Pic related is me, not her) Plot twist. You're a crazy person. You should maybe leave this person alone...forever.
James Foster
Imagine if you were a normal person and someone like you started contacting you. Would you want that crazy person to keep bothering you forever? Leave them the fuck alone and go get some more professional help. They clearly want nothing to do with you.
Brandon Howard
Why is everyone from /soc/ coming here all of a sudden? We don't give a shit about what you look like, this is an advice board. Go fuck yourselves. Sage.
Jeremiah Jones
I know... I literally said "I went insane".
I am no longer "crazy". I said in the post that it happened over a year ago. >You should maybe leave this person alone...forever. Okay. :(
>Leave them the fuck alone Yeah, I got that. >go get some more professional help I've been getting professional help again for... A long time now. The crazy is long gone though; the help has been for depression.
Why does it matter that I attached an image of myself?
Aiden Gutierrez
Because it turns this into /soc/ and it shows that you want attention rather than advice, since your picture is not relevant to your thread.
Ah ok. I'll take that into consideration when I post again.
I know. I'm not anymore either. Can't change my past.
Jacob Gray
>quotes one word >pic unrelated What are you even trying to say.
Glad you recognize me. :)
Austin Miller
Did you read my last critique?
Ryder Powell
To which part are you responding?
Nathaniel Evans
In the user who critiqued your bangs n stuff in the old thread.
Jackson Fisher
Yeah, I think so. I haven't fixed my bangs (though I did wash my hair) or nails yet, though.
John Price
leave this person alone, please
Lucas Turner
Oh, you're also that person. You looked like you had a unibrow...fix that. Your hair looks like a terrible 80's cut.
How old are you? I'll fuck the crazy out of you (usually works for a 3-12 hours before you go full crazy again)
Ian Parker
Will do.
>You looked like you had a unibrow...fix that. It bothers me too. I'll fix it eventually. We're moving, so I think the plucker is packed rn. >Your hair looks like a terrible 80's cut. I'm growing it out. >How old are you? I am 18. >I'll fuck the crazy out of you I'm not crazy anymore. At least, not as much and not in the same way.
Chase Gomez
Remember when we talked about PIES a few days ago? This relates to the E.
It has to feel good to be around you for you to be considered emotionally attractive. But it is subjective for each person. A stranger won't have enough investment with you to understand your emotional state, and someone with a history of negative experiences will have a tarnished view of it.
If you keep pushing, it's going to appear to your obsession that you are emotionally out of control - especially because she already had an experience of that happening. I'm afraid that in this case, you simply have to put your focus on yourself, and take it off of her.
If in the future you have a chance to reconnect, the best thing you can be is healthy and whole and attractive (emotionally).
James Cox
God, I wish I had someone as crazy as you.
Luke Gutierrez
>I'm not crazy anymore. At least, not as much and not in the same way. Are you also a tranny? If you are, you're still crazy.
But a rule of thumb for dating: if you're not already steady and close with someone: don't reveal any negative or inappropriately strong emotions involving them, generally avoid negativity in general, don't message someone in a giant wall of text, and don't message them twice in a row. Never ever ever message someone to ask why they aren't messaging you or accuse them of ignoring you. If they are ignoring you, it won't make them respond and will make you look like a stalker. If they aren't ignoring you, it will still come across as needy and aggressive.
Lucas Thomas
>I'm not crazy anymore. At least, not as much and not in the same way Meh...offer still stands
Jason Ross
>Using "I went insane" unironically go get em tiger
>I sincerely apologize for the harm i've caused you in the past and i will try to stay away from you to avoid you any further inconvenience. If my dementia riddled accusations were to ever cause you any problems, i will disavow such allegations for anyone you need me too.
>Im sorry and i wish you a good life.
>sincerely, >crazytran-chan
fin.
and actually stick to it, there's too many people in the world to keep obsessing over the one person who thinks you are a mad. You blew your chance when you went psycho, tough break, move on already and make life better for yourself and the other person.
Grayson Brown
and if you are thinking of adding explanations and shit that only makes you seem crazier, you did what you did, your mental state was a big part of it yes, but going on a long tirade about it just shows that the flame of your obsession is still alive and that you just wont take responsibility.
Brody Ward
>MtF >she ?
Benjamin Fisher
Thank you for all of the advice and explanation. >It has to feel good to be around you for you to be considered emotionally attractive. I hope I can make someone happy someday, and that the feeling will be mutual. >If you keep pushing, it's going to appear to your obsession that you are emotionally out of control - especially because she already had an experience of that happening. Yeah, I agree. >I'm afraid that in this case, you simply have to put your focus on yourself, and take it off of her. >If in the future you have a chance to reconnect, the best thing you can be is healthy and whole and attractive (emotionally). I agree with this, too. Hopefully going to CA for uni will help me move on and change my perspective and life for the better.
Uh... Thanks, I guess? I'm not like that anymore though, as I've pointed out multiple times in the thread.
>Are you also a tranny? I actually used to identify as FtM trans, but luckily my dysphoria faded and I went back to being a female. >But a rule of thumb for dating: if you're not already steady and close with someone: don't reveal any negative or inappropriately strong emotions involving them, generally avoid negativity in general, don't message someone in a giant wall of text, and don't message them twice in a row. I'll try to abide by this more, but I think messaging twice in a row is fine. >Never ever ever message someone to ask why they aren't messaging you or accuse them of ignoring you. Okay, I'll try to keep this in mind. Can't guarantee that I'll never do it to someone else though, as I may forget or something.
Sorry, but I'm not interested. I'd like to get over this person at least some extent before dating or sex with someone else.
Most people are telling me to simply leave her alone, though. I'll send her something like that if I do decide to contact her. I don't have her address, so it will probably be over text or social media.
Michael Barnes
I'll keep that in mind if I do contact her.
Respect my waifu.
Justin Jones
Meeting other people can help you get over her. You'll find others that are just as interesting to you over time. The hurt will fade and you'll move on.
Kayden Barnes
Is it wrong to agree to a date when I'm not yet over her, especially if I don't want to tell the potential date about it?
John Smith
Is it wrong to agree to a date with someone else when I'm not yet over her, especially if I don't want to tell the potential date about it?
Wyatt Kelly
I wouldn't bring that up unless you got very close with someone and had developed a lot of trust.
And no, It would be wrong for you to close yourself off to other people. You'll likely regret it in the future. You'll still have to work on yourself and work through some things on your own. It's going to take time to forget the obsession, but seeing positive and attractive traits in others definitely helps. And, you never know when you'll meet someone that feels perfect and thinks the same of you.
Nathaniel Bennett
>I wouldn't bring that up unless you got very close with someone and had developed a lot of trust. Wouldn't that break their heart though? To have someone spend the time to get close and build trust and then ruin it with "I'm still obsessed with someone else"? I don't want to hurt someone.
Matthew Lopez
But you're obsessed with someone in an unhealthy way. You two never had a productive, close relationship. It's not like you're in love with each other and the only thing keeping you apart is geography and occupation our something. Don't feel guilty for moving forward in your own life. You aren't going to love everyone, you're young, it's good to experiment with people and learn about what you really want and don't want. You can learn a lot about yourself from interacting with other people. Just be open.
