Stormed out of my gf's place in anger yesterday.
>she had invited me prior to have some chill time
>I was trying to initiate some cuddling and then go on to have sex a few times, she declined everything (I am sure it's not "these days")
>it's been happening for a while now, I feel I've been missing out on her sexual interest towards me
>and after one of the advances I got up and calmly explained to her that I didn't feel like she was sexually attracted to me
>she said I was correct, and she was so cold because I wasn't romantic with her lately
>she expected dates, etc.
>if only I would do something for her romantically, she would have fun with me
>that is considering she was working a lot lately, and when I actually tried to have dates with her, she herself preferred something more simple because she was tired
>this got me very angry
>I said it was a form of prostitution if she viewed our sexuality as a subject of transactions
>I told her it was fucking sick, got my things, and just went home without saying anything else
>she tried to stop me, I ignored her
>she called me when I was on my way home and tried to say she didn't mean it like that
>then proceeded to confirm my explanation of her thought process
I don't think she just wants me anymore. I don't feel wanted. We've been together for 3 years now. I'm seriously considering breaking up. What should I do? I feel so hurt and betrayed.
Stormed out of my gf's place in anger yesterday
Show’s over, call the curtain, my friend.
All you guys want is sex and you don't want to do anything but show up and fuck, then leave. After a while we get the message and want to see if we are correct. We are and you proved everything is about your dick.
no, you are the cause of this. If you really want to test “oh I wonder if he likes me beyond sex”.. then don’t fuck when you first start dating, roastie.
But based on anons description he tried to make time for the dame. It isn't about just sex but she's not engaging him at all it seems based on no actual willingness to go on dates as well as cuddle or do anything that promotes bonding. Idk, to me user seems reasonable here
I actually feel this way. But it's my feeling, and it may be wrong, it may be because she was so fucking bad at explaining what she wanted. Not even once she told me it was just because she was tired on the job. And she wasn't. I helped her out through it. She got used to the schedule, got to know people there, and now she's actually happy to go there. So... I don't know what to think. I don't know if I should care what the reason is.
This is just wrong. I always help her. She doesn't do nearly as much for me. When she was on her last year of uni, and had a hard time maintaining a job and doing all the assignments, I wrote a few papers for her. I cheered her up and never declined her ask for help. Not once. I get her flowers like once a month. I am the one who's taking her on the dates. I always pick her up, I always walk her home. And I make random presents to her. I am not about sex. Sex isn't even close to being 1st thing I want. You are just wrong about me. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and hoped it was some external reason. She sees our sex life as some sort of barter, it seems. It's sickening, my stomach actually feels weird because of that. I am hurt and feel like a piece of shit.
come on big boy what are you a woman? why do you need her validation? why is it such a problem
fuck her hard, that will make her want your penor again and again, you acted like a girl, grow up
>begin to cuddle and kiss
>she doesn't respond much
>try to reach her nipple under the clothes while kissing
>she takes my hand off
Yeah, I should have just raped her, user, this would solve it.
Hey man, I understand exactly what you mean because I was in a relationship like this. I assume that you’re like me, and view sex as something genuinely special, more than physical, and see it as being crucial to a healthy relationship. Not everyone has this view, and it seems like your girlfriend has a twisted perspective on why sex is important. It might not be something that you can change, it probably isn’t your fault, sand you shouldn’t let it hurt you too bad. Sex is important but it isn’t healthy to base your self worth on it, you know?
Yeah, I know it's not healthy to center my ego around sex, and I don't feel this way at all. It's just that knowing she doesn't actually want me that kills me. She doesn't feel love and attraction as I do. If she feels it, of course... And I really wonder if she does. I just think that everybody who's really in love, who's really attracted, wants to have sex with their partner. Or, at least, expresses sexual attraction in some way. Being in a relationship without sex if you're not asexual is just not something I can see as healthy.
Sooo basically you threw a hissy fit because she wouldn't have sex with you. Top guy.
I agree with you. Explain this to her. If she disagrees then you may just not be compatible.
Sooo basically you didn't read what I wrote.
Yeah, I will. I hope to see her today, and if she won't explain anything to me, well... I guess that's the end for us.
>I reached the point in the relationship where I stopped trying to win my gf over
>I expect sex because we are together and I initiated
>she points out I don't try and win her over anymore
>I throw an autistic fit calling her a whore because I don't think I should be nice to her in exchange for sex
>I leave and she confirms that she isn't happy
>help me Jow Forums I'm not sure what to do
Write her a nice text every few weeks and buy her an unexpected small gift every other month.
Take her somewhere for dinner somewhere mid range once a month
Every few months buy her an outfit (for fuck's sake don't get the size wrong) and take her away for a night or weekend to somewhere nice, be it a city break, somewhere away from home or somewhere different.
There you go OP, I just saved your relationship, try not to throw fits because you feel entitled to sex, you kissing her when she isn't in the mood isn't going to get her in the mood.
OP still feels right though, like wheres the reciprocity. Its not like he hasn't tried to establish a healthy and active relationship its like a lack of interest in general and the fact that any intimacy is being treated like a transaction when its needed for a healthy relationship. OP would probably fare better without her. Maybe in the next relationship put an emphasis on date nights or something but otherwise I feel like OP is okay.
>Write her a nice text every few weeks and buy her an unexpected small gift every other month
I text her. I call her. I buy her unexpected gifts with no occasion other than to make her smile.
>Take her somewhere for dinner somewhere mid range once a month
I not only take her out when we can hang out, I always pay for her meals.
>Every few months buy her an outfit (for fuck's sake don't get the size wrong) and take her away for a night or weekend to somewhere nice, be it a city break, somewhere away from home or somewhere different
I do that. You obviously didn't read my post at all. I am not neglecting her. I give her attention and material stuff too. And you are basically saying I SHOULD ACCEPT A RELATIONSHIP WHERE SEX IS A MATTER OF TRANSACTION. What the fuck is wrong with you?
You think my situation is not something that can be saved? Oh well.
There are too many women on Jow Forums giving shit advice and act like girls can do nothing wrong. Dont listen to them.
>inb4 a roastie calls me incel
Is so funny, you guys come here for advise on women but only want to take advise from men. When you get an honest female perspective you dismiss it because we are women. God, no wonder most of you have no clue.
Here's a tip for you user. Your farts stink though you don't think so.
So you have the gall blabbering about giving advice even when you didnt even read the OP?
Honest female perspective or not, your advice was shit and too self important to be of any use, the latter is which plagues most posters on Jow Forums.
And second, OP didnt want specifically for a female advice, he wanted advice in general, the fact that you so arrogantly show up shit up the thread just shows what kind of person you are.
>because we are women
Stop generalising and hiding behind an identity and own up for your actions for once. Stop replying as you have already embarrased yourself too much.
God it don't take much to set you boys off
Yeah, I know. Even though English is not my first language, I can actually spot females just by the way they express themselves and their logic. And here they basically don't even hide they're rooting for the female no matter what.
Listen. You're not here to get into my situation and actually give a good advice. You are here to troll and root for the girl because you have the same genitalia. Fuck off.
>>hurr im retard
>fuck off retard
>>i was just pretending
literally u
I think this user is missing the point. It's to try to give advice and listen not just shit on someone reacting (pretty reasonably in fact) to a legitimate difficulty. Though I guess you could shitpost if you really wanted to.
Unironically based and redpilled
what in hell are you on about? seems you just respond to the voice in your head. that conversation is not real user
Top keks
So she doesn't enjoy sex herself?
seriously? you believe this is a real world stream of consciousness.
Like I said those voices in your head are real to only you. Either you are taking the wrong medication or the dose needs to be upped.
Are you two still emotionally close? Do you make her feel special? I understand from your posts that you do things for her and even buy her things. That is effort put into the relationship and she should appreciate it. Unless she needs something else/more. Do you still make each other feel special?
Also, sometimes work and stress wears you out in the way that you want to date but have no more energy to do it. I've been through that and it's difficult to solve. Maybe you two also need a break from each other, to try and reconsider how much you miss each other and what you miss and how you can spark things up again
When we actually had sex, she did enjoy it. Now I just don't know. I'm sure that she had plenty of orgasms, and I've never had an issue with giving pleasure, and receiving too. Sex life was good when it actually did exist.
>Are you two still emotionally close? Do you make her feel special? Do you still make each other feel special?
As much as I can do I try. I remember how I was the only guy out of her friend group who brought her flowers when they returned from a trip. Later she told me girls were jealous in a good way. Earlier this summer I got a good bonus on my job and decided to treat her well just because I could. We were hanging out and walking down the street, and there was a really cool dress shop. We went in, and I got her two special dresses as a surprise after I insisted it was a good idea to see how they fit just for the future. She thanked me a lot and said I was great, she didn't even expect and I could see she was happy.
>Maybe you two also need a break from each other, to try and reconsider how much you miss each other and what you miss and how you can spark things up again
I don't think we need a break, we've actually been more distant lately because of her loaded schedule, but she only complained it was hard in the beginning. She really loves the job and says she's happy to be there working with wonderful people. She's definitely not worn out by it.
Well, you certainly showed her, didn't you? You couldn't possibly have made it any clearer that you want her just as a collection of holes to deposit your seed into, when you want it and whenever you want it, and she gets no vote in the matter.
Your mother must be so proud
Maybe if you threw some ass cheeks every now and then we’d be more inclined to treat you like queens. It’s a give and take World with effort on both sides, not a one sided “feed me for free” deal.
>try to reach her nipple under the clothes while kissing
>she takes my hand off
No fucking way this happened. I refuse to believe it.
Oh, another angry female with no reading comprehension and reddit spacing. You know, it's perfectly reasonable to expect being sexually wanted in a relationship. If you're deprived of this, that's a huge issue. Especially when your partner basically says "I would have sex with you, but you need to give me stuff for that".
This happened. After which she explained I didn't give her enough lately, and that's why she wasn't sexually attracted to me in that moment.