How do I improve my self esteem?

That wasn't me, the OP, by the way. Appreciate the advice so far. I am 21 years old right now.

This tough love advice shit doesn't work. Trust me on that.

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This is a great idea if looks matter to you, also, it will help you feel better (brain chemistry). I wish I've done this years ago so I could see the fat fuck I was. I felt like shit both mentally and phisically since it took me years to look for professional help for my depression and anxiety.

It takes quite a while for you to see your own improvements and everything sucks at the beginning but you'll get used to it, and in a few months you'll be able to look back and see that you've taken the right path. You have nothing to lose right now.

I tell it based on my own experience. When I felt that anything couldn't get worse, I started to feel anger towards myself as I realized that I didn't do anything to take care of my own body and mind, pitying myself and asking what I did wrong. So I started going to the gym, looked for a psychologist and started to change little things on my daily life in order feel better. Long story short I've lost 70 lbs, started to feel good about how I look and proud of the muscles I've built, stopped acting like I was a pile of shit, girls started to ask me on dates, so on and so forth.

You can do it, dude, truste me. The worst part is to give the first step and leave your comfort zone. After that, just keep going. The results will speak for themselves.

He has a point

I like hearing people's experiences. Would you mind elaborating a bit? At what age did you begin working out? When did you (if ever) finally get professional help? Did you change your diet as well? How do you feel now?

I've known I need professional help for years now and I'm finally crawling slowly towards getting it at age 21. I have very bad anxiety and depression as many claim to on Jow Forums. I really do want to improve my life and be a better person. At the moment I can hardly even imagine myself as a genuinely happy and adjusted individual.

my bad, I see you went into therapy after you began working out.

Not OP but I'm 27 and don't even know what I'm good at. Also have a huge fear of going out in public. I've been isolated and fucked up for so long that I don't even know where to begin. Really hate myself and what I've become.

I'm 22. I've started going to the gym two years ago and started therapy about a year ago. The therapy part was a little bit more complicated as I only searched for it too late, when certain happenstances in my life were bringing constant suicidal thoughts to me.

When I thought about looking for a professional, the first things that came to my mind were on the lines of "I don't have time for that" or "It will be completely useless and I'm way past the point that they could help", but I was wrong. Even though it was really hard for me to open myself for a complete stranger, just putting my thoughts into words and seeing that someone was paying attention to them and replying to me made me feel much better at the start. Everything was a slow process, but after a couple of months I've reached a point were I was neither happy nor sad, and a few weeks ago I've finally reached a point where I was faced by things that terrified me and I've managed to realize that they couldn't hurt me, that I'm greater than my problems, and that feels really good.

As for the gym, after about a year and a half of working out, I've reached a point where I didn't wanted to lose more weight, so I'm just building muscles now and taking care so I don't get my weight back. I've changed my diet a little bit. I kept eating my meals normally, but almost half of my plates now are filled with vegetables. That doesnt mean that you can't have cheat meals, just don't eat too much junk food.

About how I'm feeling today, I can't say everything is perfect. Many of the problems that I've struggled back then are still with me now, but I feel much stronger. There were thoughts that could literally disable me for hours or days, but now I can face them and brush them aside, knowing that they cannot damage me so long as I do not allow them to.

By the way, if you don't get something that I'm trying to say, just ask. English is not my first language.

Good on you man. Hope that I can make a difference in myself the same way you have. English was perfect, btw.

Just a couple of tips for your journey.

First, remove as many negative influences that you can in your life. They can accumulate and bring you down without you even noticing.

Second, throught your processes of becoming someone better, you'll have a lot of ups and downs. There will be days where you'll just feel like shit, or you'll look at yourself after a work out and just feel worse, like nothing has changed. This is normal. Just don't forget that everything gets better. Always have this in your mind.

Good luck for you, man. May you share your experience here when you reach your goals.

then it's time to change, user. sounds like you know what it is about yourself that's not good. well, change it. get rid of it. it's never too late. you have to realize that you really do have the power to make yourself better / improve yourself. when you start taking better care of yourself and others, your outlook about yourself will change. won't happen overnight but i know hands down from my own experience this is what will happen.

best of luck, user.

Cut out every useless thing in your life that distracts you. Video games, tv shows, drugs. Your satisfaction in life should come from you improving yourself, not from instant gratification. You need to envision the kind of person that you wanna be. Think about the steps it takes to get there and learn from sucessful people. Watching youtube videos of sucessful people, read self help books.

By literally giving no fucks.

a friend at work convinced me to do an amateur night at a local strip club. I was so nervous about everything but we had several drinks and the guys loved me both times I got on stage. My feet didn't touch the ground for a week and it gave me incentive to diet more and work out to tone up so every month now I will do one amateur night. Already there are 5 guys that told me they show up just for me so I have some regulars.