I just recently got back from a trip to NYC to visit my half brother, which was a few days after my initial post. That went well, but I didn’t get to see my nephew, my main reason for going. The anniversary of my father making have the abortion passed while I was up there and I went into the Poconos for the day to be alone. It’s never easy. At the end of the month I’ll be traveling to Trentino Alto Adige to see my mother, I’ve been trying to see her at least once a year now that she’s getting older, but our relationship is fairly well non existent.
It took your advice Jow Forums and went to see a therapist when I got back from NYC. It was, ah, uncomfortable to say the least. I get health insurance through my work, and I was able to find one near home, a few neighborhoods over via subway. It was a man about my age, I’d surmise, but again I look much younger than my actual age and he took me for a 20 something. As I told my story I was apprehensive to reveal who it was I had an affair with, but he pushed so I spilled it. At first I don’t think he believed me, it wasn’t until I showed him my necklace and scars that he started to look more interested. He asked me all these weird questions, like if I had been tested for hepatitis, hpv, ect. I was sort of taken aback and said no, but I had given blood before and never had an issue.
He also asked if I had seen a gynecologist since the abortion, I haven’t, I’ve had a sort of irrational fear of them since. So I went ahead and saw one on my therapist’s request. I was fucking terrified, the nurse had to hold my hand throughout the exam, but everything is ‘normal’ apparently. The doctor said I was unusually small and had to the use the smallest speculum, it hurt terribly.
I was diagnosed with PTSD and Panic Disorder respectively. I asked about Stockholm Syndrome and he told me that there is not ‘official’ diagnostic criteria in the DSM-5, but it was an interesting prospect he’d like to explore more. Waiting on a few more visits before prescribing any mediation, but I’m fairly suspicious of being medicated.
Cont.
Cameron Ross
On another note, I had absolutely no idea how interested people would be about my experiences. I mean, I figured there’d be some interest, but nothing like this. My Reddit and Kik accounts has been on fire in the PM department, and I’ve met some fascinating people. Many have suggested that I write a memoir, I’ve given it consideration, but if I did I’d want it to be anonymous and I’m not sure how that’d work out...or how I’d even get it to a publisher without compromising my anonymity. Others have suggested I start a blog, but I don’t really know what platform would be good for that outside of Tumblr, and I can see those sjw’s trying to tear me a new one considering my political inclinations.
Anyway, as always I’m open to thoughts and suggestions, if you have any questions please feel free to ask. Any super personal stuff I’ll answer in kik or Reddit PM (outside of obvious identifying info).
Hudson Price
Aaand please excuse my spelling tonight, a single malted beverage and I'm all fucked up.
Blake Stewart
Hey, glad to hear from you again. Don't pay attention to sjws and the like.
A blog would be a very good idea, and long term you might even make a little money from it if you wanted to. Wordpress is usually the best platform for this.
Asher Fisher
Hello again user, hope life's treating you well.
Thanks, I don't really pay attention to them, but they're much more vicious than trolls. It's weird, I mean I don't rattle easily, but its annoying going though walls of text telling me I'm literally Hitler, heh.
I might give it a try, it's been very cathartic getting this stuff out there and I think that might be good in the long term.
Joshua Gray
You drunk enough to let us see some tits you desert princess?
Do you have any specific questions? I mean I can try to answer them best I can, but I don't expect everyone to believe me...so I'm cool with it if you don't.
Aiden Ramirez
It seems like you have a delusion or you are using this as a writing project.
I don't think it is true, but that you gather true facts to make it appear that way.
Andrew Perez
So you don't know anything about the whereabouts of Gaddafi?
Jeremiah Jenkins
I understand, that's a logical reaction.
I've got a necklace that was given to me by Muammar, if you want to see it you can use my kik to contact me, plus some scars from when my father beat me and where I pulled out my IV, but yeah, that's about it as far as 'proof' goes.
Zachary Bennett
Which one? Muammar is dead, sadly. Now his sons? I couldn't say.
Austin Adams
Blogging might be a good idea, just whenever you decide to make one please let us know so we can keep up with your progress.
Plenty of authors have submitted memoirs anonymously over the years, think 'Go Ask Alice', 'The Incest Diary', and 'Diary of an Oxygen Thief'. Finding the right publisher might be difficult, but your story is so unique I can imagine a lot of interest being thrown your way by independent publishers for sure.
Anyway, chin up Anna, good to see you back.
Oliver Richardson
It's not that it's not believable, it's that you are unbelievable. It's that gut feeling I have. Being beaten is common and not something I need proof of, it would be better if you published the story. You write your story down and an editor will help format and correct it, and you ask a publisher if they will take it.
Christian Wilson
Thank you, if I do I will.
Yeah, I guess the logistics of it kinda just weird me out, I'd have to do a lot of careful consideration before actually sitting down and writing.
Thank you user, good to see you again, and take care.
Dylan Kelly
This. There's no reason to continue wasting your time on the internet if this were real.
Jacob Scott
Just out of curiosity, what is it about me personally that's unbelievable? I mean, I get that me being on Jow Forums and all that, but anything else. The best 'proof' I have is the necklace he gave me, he gave out many of those to his close female 'friends', it has my name on the back. Anyway, I think I'll probably write about it the best I can, I'm no writer, but I'm sure an editor could work out the kinks for me. I'd just have to find a publisher that would work with me across Tor since I'm not keen on revealing my identity.
Ian Scott
Well I've met a lot of great people here, and honestly there's nothing I wish to gain from this except maybe clearing his name on some fronts, however small. Talking to people for the first time about this in nearly thirty years has been very helpful, and given me inspiration to channel it into something more productive for me. I've already had some folks contact me for interviews, but I've mostly rejected. I think I'll stick to writing it down for now, we'll see where it goes then.
Adrian Sanchez
Yeah, no way this is real. Smell ya later.
Lucas Carter
Well, it's not the forum of choice, that's just another option in this time of Internet.
You keep making posts and replying so casually to everyone about it to get attention, offering to answer questions or show photos, but you want to stay anonymous and not share the story with a larger audience. It seems like something someone with a mental illness would do.
If you are worried for identity you can change names and not share any photos but if you want your story out you need a wider audience. Really it doesn't make any sense that you make posts for just a few people and talk to them, and you say you are visiting a therapist for mental help, it seema you are coming here for the same reason. So your extravagent background details aren't important.
Josiah Jenkins
See ya user, take care.
John Hughes
Casually? Yeah, I'm a fairly mellow person, that's just my nature. I've become fairy nihilistic in the last seven or so years and I guess that reflects in what I do.
>making posts and replying to get attention Meh, if you've been on here long you'd know attention whoring, I don't think I post that often, but maybe I am, I can't really tell. But I can go, I mean, if I'm annoying anyone.
>want to stay anonymous I don't think you understand user, I want to tell my story, I wouldn't be here if I didn't, but I simply cannot just 'come out' with this. My whole life, my profession, my father's former political status would be instantly fucked overnight. If I were to google my name the first hundred or so posts would be in reference to me having sex with Colonel Gaddafi. I've worked very hard to put on an about face and live my life 'normally', why would I screw that up now? For money?
>mental illness Yep, I was just diagnosed with PTSD and Panic Disorder so...
>posts for a few people I like talking on small scale, I'd imagine that's pretty normal for many people.
Jayden Johnson
> but I don't expect everyone to believe me...so I'm cool with it if you don't.
You said this. So why are you so insistent on making me believe you? I don't care about you. Go talk to your therapists and stop podting here acting like you are trying to stay anonymous while you literally keep posting things that will give away who you are.
None of this makes sense unless you are making the whole thing up.
And you won't share an exact story so it isn't about the story at all, it's about you. That isn't interesting and doesn't offer anything to anyone. It's shit you should be telling you therapist.
I don't believe you, if you don't care, then don't reply to it. Go get therapy and meds for your delusions.
Lincoln Richardson
But I haven't been insistent, we're just talking, I wanted you're opinion, you gave it, and I reacted. That's fairly normal I'd think. If you don't care that's ok, after many years I've realized that I'm not very important and easily replaceable so that's nothing new. I've only met this therapist once, and it was just from listening to Jow Forums, so there's that. I probably won't go back. They had nothing to offer me, nothing that I didn't already know. All that being said I've given away nothing that would compromise my identity, unless of course you'd want to go through the thousands upon thousands fso positions to find my father, who's name I've not revealed.
>exact story I think I clarified much of this in the Reddit post, but naturally I'm not going to sit and write a 300 page memoir in a Reddit or Jow Forums post.
>meds for your delusions I don't think I'm going to try the meds, I've lived my whole life without them and I'm fairly confident that I can continue on like I am. Maybe I'm delusional, love is a strange thing isn't it?
Anyway, hope you have a good night user, take care.
Thomas Butler
Jesus h christ woman, you have the patience of job. But seriously dont feed the trolls.
Justin King
Thanks user, yeah, like I said earlier, I'm not easily rattled. At the end of the day I've nothing to prove, believe me if you will, but if you don't you don't. I don't mind talking about it, and was just trying to clarify for them, but apparently they're just trying to get a rise out of me, so yeah.
Damn dude, you're trying real hard to convince yourself you're a victim here. Stop.
As for OP, ignore the trolls; hope all is well.
Chase Harris
Tell the people in your life you’re a whore
Adrian Reyes
I'll try user, thanks. Meh, so so, but could be a lot lot worse. Hope life is treating you well.
Colton Robinson
>tell the people in your life. Ah, there's the rub user, I really don't have any people in my life. As far as family...well, all I had was my father, and he died in '11 a few months before Muammar. I have a half brother that lives in New York, but we're not in any way close, I visit there out of obligation to my late father and to see my nephew. I see my mom once a year or so, but she already knows. I have no friends, just random strangers on the internet. I work, but only have brief and necessary interactions with my coworkers. 'Whore' is relative anyway, I mean, I've only slept with three people in my life, which is less than most women I'd think. If I'm a whore for anything it'd be for being very naive and easily giving in the first time I was with a man.
Grayson Brooks
>I have no friends just random strangers on the internet
Nothing super exciting or surprising, he was quite obviously into younger girls, but pretty 'vanilla' stuff compared to what you see on here on Jow Forums.
