ITT: Ask The Opposite Gender Anything

Girls, what does this mean?

>get spotify
>follow all my friends
>see my crush listening to kpop
>next day she has gone private on spotify, can't see her on spotify...

Why did she do that?

More context, what happened before below

>fall in love with beatiful girl
>go to prom, i am not flirty or agressive enough, so its meh but ok
>she ghosts me for a while
>start talking again, ask her out
>she says she cant
>next times we talk s he seems kinda uninterested, so I give up asking her out

Pic unrelated

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Girls,

I've been using these pics on dating apps but I'm not getting much success Matching, even when sending a direct like to attract attention.

I've been using them for little more than a Week though so maybe it's too early.

I've been told by girls I did match that i am cute, funny and intelligent, but some lost interest halfway through, stopped responding.
I actually managed to get two girls interested, so I know if the feeling passes it can work with folks. I just need to generate more initial interest.

Anyway, feedback on the pics? This is the order they appear in. (The second one is a shoop a friend made, so in my bio I put that I'm a hogwarts alumni whose on the app to meet people for my very shy house elf. It made a few people laugh and sparked conversations.

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I'd switch the second with the first. The first one makes you look a bit like a creepy guy who molests young kids, the second is funny, the third makes you look kinda hot.

From left
>70s glamour shot
>some inside joke I don't get
>acceptable
>a candid photo taken by your grandmother?
>not what I'd expect on Tinder, and I don't mean that in a good way

You don't get an Harry Potter reference?

I don't get why you've been photoshopped to look like Harry Potter when you look nothing like Harry Potter

>not what I'd expect on Tinder, and I don't mean that in a good way
Can you elaborate?

So shouldn't I put the third first?

I should point out, the first pic was chosen by a girl who told me to use it.

Don't know, makes you look like the creepy 50 year old dude who molests kids.
Weird.

If you want, yes. I'd pick the 2nd because it made me smile, but in the 3rd you look hotter.

This really comes down to taste apparently. But you guys don't know me, and the girl who chose the first pic does, so I'll try with the third pic first, alternate with the second from time to time, and see.

I have a few others, but I'm unsure about them. Maybe they're too much? (throwing another shoop my friend made for shits and giggles.

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@girls
How much do you care about your potential partners hobbies?

I get the feeling girls usually want boys that do some sport or play a music instrument or something that entertains them.

My hobbies are more or less the usual nerd things, I play video games, like programming and learn Japanese.
All my hobbies involve sitting at home.
I guess I seem very fucking boring.

Hate the first one, love the others. You look great in the 2nd one.

I find my face weird in the second. Is it just me being self conscious? What about the third? I'm considering using one of the two as my first pic.

Hobbies to me are neutral unless they are
>Something we can do together
So this really comes down to a girl's personal interests. I might be meh about the fact that you play videogames, but a girl who plays herself might love it.

>Something actually interesting
If you are into something that gives you actually cool stories to tell, a cool understanding of the world or whatever.

>Something useful/manly/that requires skills
Woodworking, fixing cars, whatever.

In the 2nd one you have a really cute smile. Makes you look approachable and nice.
In the 3rd one you look really good, I like it.

I like the shoop too, but then I'm a fan of the other shoop too.

The only time I care about hobbies is if it's something I hate and he tries to drag me into doing it with him

I’m okay with pretty much any hobby my guy has. From personal experience, the only two hobbies that raise red flags for me are videogames and cars.

So you are saying I should get a wood turning machine?
I can see how that works, I give her some cups and she gives me hers + she thinks I am artistic and crafty.

Guys/girls, I have two questions:

1. What does it mean when my girlfriend constantly brings up her exes and in some circumstances compares me to them?

2. My girlfriend is frequently making sexual jokes and tells me all the sexual stuff she wants to do with me even in front of other people that i know. This is really offputting and she gets mad when I bring it up.

Am I justified in getting upset at these things, or is this normal? I’m pretty clueless as this is my first real relationship. We’re both 21. Thanks.

Thanks. It's gonna be a tie between all the ones you liked I guess. I'll let the apps algorithm choose which is best. at least for now. I guess the one where I smile is a fine opener.

>cute smile

Oh stop it you..
Thanks though. I think I'm just unhappy with my face, when I shouldn't be.

I don't know if you should.
I had a huge crush on a guy who was into woodworking. He'd fix my furniture, we'd work on projects together, he taught me stuff, he made me personalised gifts. And it made him look pretty manly, traditionally manly.
I don't know, I am a fan.

Oh, I should add to my list of pros
>hobbies that make you look hotter
Doing sports, hiking, whatever.

>>a candid photo taken by your grandmother?
I'm an Illustrator. This is basically the only pic I have of me doing Illustrator-y things.

And the pic of me shooting an Arrow is also because I just Don't have many pics of me in social situations.

I Don't usually take pics desu.

Hey I might not be so boring after all then, thank you, you helped me a lot.

You're welcome, user.

I care that my partner has hobbies and I find it adorable if they are really passionate about something but it doesn't need to be cool.
But then again I'm not cool myself.

One final pic for you guys to rate.

Someone told me it's too much for apps.

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You look like the Carlson to Lando's Fresh Prince.

At least I'm good at dancing!

Guys,
What exactly is so appealing about getting a girl to swallow?

Honestly it’s meh lol

a) it's visually appealing
b) it appeals to the dominant part of our sexual drive, i.e. you doing something just because we like it with no benefit to yourself
c) it's intimate
d) spitting/not letting him even cum in your mouth is the equivalent of a guy going down on your but announcing that you taste like shit

Do girls like to tease guys and string them along without the intention of actually dating them?

I've never been so confused about a girl in my entire life, its not even mixed signals. One day she straight up loves talking to me and spending time with me, then another she ignores me or just treats me like shit, talks in a very cold manner, like I've done something wrong, as if she wanted me to fuck off, but then she comes around again and everything is great. Its been fucking with my mood since I met her and I don't know how much more I can handle or if its even worth it

It has to do with her wanting you and craving you so much that she consumes that part of you. It's in the same boat as creampie imo.

In the same boat but with a guy. I’m so confused :( I told him I didn’t wanna do anything anymore and the second I say that he tells me he’s falling for me guess that’s the way to go?? Just distance yourself maybe kinda worked for me lol

Girls

is it too late for a guy to start dating at 29 or 30? I’m 27 right now, but I’ll be unable to date for the next few years

Nah I don’t think it’s too late

Everything I'm doing with her would most likely work well with another girl but despite everything she acts the way she does and I can't even fix anything since I know I didn't do anything wrong.

I did already distance myself twice, each time for the same reason, I just had no interest in feeling shit because of her, but she'll eventually come around, first time it took about a week, the 2nd took about 2 months and then she'd act apologetic, then really nice, then again with treating me like shit until I don't reply and there she goes again. The 2nd time happened a few days ago and I just didn't bother replying.

Hmm maybe she doesn’t want a committed relationship?? Idk though is she going through something? I’ve gone through shit and almost ruined a few relationships acting out but I did learn my lesson after I was told how I affected someone through my actions.

I have a friend like that. She's a moody girl, so when she's in a bad mood, she's really down and hard to talk to. I used to be into her, and when you're attracted to someone, you tend to take everything personally and make a bigger issue of it than it really is.

Another possibility is that she knows you're into her and turns cold whenever you do something that she interprets as an attempt at flirting or similar. When she thinks you cooled down, she's chatty again because she wants a friend.

Some girls do tease guys on purpose, while others have attention-seeking behaviour without it being intentional.

You're a cuck, mate.
Why didn't you get a gf who has as much experience as you?

I keep hearing the only girls that will be left are single moms and girls who were complete sluts during their twenties who are now desperate to settle down..

Is this true?

I posted a week or so ago about this guy I was friends with on discord ignoring me after he confessed, asking why he would do this. Context: I bought him a game I was playing to play with me, however we were talking months before I started playing

Well I finally bullied a response out of him by confronting him in the group chat, and pic related. I don't believe him at all. So I logged onto the account I bought for him and deleted the character he sunk 400 hours into. I'm really smug about it.

Don't lie to people.

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Thats what I thought but it was her who came up to me on a night out and first she wanted to go for a walk, then pretty much insisted we hang out, once she even changed her plans to go out for a drink with me. Barely even knew her at that point, maybe about a week? what was I supposed to make of it other than her wanting to date me.
>inb4 she just wants to be friends
I thought about it, but she has this group of girls she's always hanging out with and they're really good friends but somehow, I'm the first person she texts before making plans to go out. She also goes out with the girls separately to hanging out with me, she doesn't tell me when the girls are going for drinks or whatever so I only assume she doesn't want to friendzone me and make me think I'm part of their group.

>is she going through something?
she seems pretty open with me and the only thing I can think of is the fact she broke up with her ex, but that was like 6 months ago. They had opportunities to get back together tho but she didn't want to apparently so I guess she's over him, other than that she seems happy with her life from what she told me last time we spoke.

Maybe she has a mental illness that affects her mood and relationships?

Guy in their 30s still date girls in their 20s. Dating girls in their 20s while you're in your 40s is much harder, but it's still good when you're in your 30s. Also, not all single chicks in their 30s are single moms and whores, those are Jow Forums memes.

I understand that, but the way she is, is like she's going out of her way to upset me. After the first time she's done that and I distanced myself I kind of stopped obsessing over her so everything she said, I didn't take too personally or exaggerate it.

To give an example, once she asked me to go out for drinks, I did, we had fun, everything went well, a good night out. Few days later I asked her to come out for drinks, she pretty much told me to fuck off and ask someone else, then I'd reply with something like "alright, sure I'll go with someone else" and that was that. Then a week after she acts all apologetic and innocent, asking me if anything is happening that night, I said yes and invited her out again, this time she came out and it felt like she was going out of her way to get on my good side again.
In addition to that, once, a girl came up to me to chat me up and was clearly flirty. The girl saw it and didn't like it and seemed jealous, like she'd awkwardly laugh and act like she's not bothered by it even though I didn't flirt back because I didn't want to come off as an asshole. She also feels over protective of me at times. I don't know man, maybe she is just moody?

I considered that, thats why I don't want to give up on her completely, but unless I know for sure I can only assume she's stringing me along just for attention and when she doesn't need it she tells me to fuck off essentially.

From what she told me, vague as it was, she only had sex with one guy in her life and it was with a guy who she was in a 3 year relationship with. Seems like 3 years is a long time to deal with a mental illness if she had one, she seems healthy but maybe she controls it better when she is with someone? I don't know really

I suppose.

Only have been with 2 guys and how come they both try to use me for money and weed ??? Like they only know how to take. And they’re always asking to borrow money

Pick better guys?

girls

Why do you date multiple guys at the same time before you pick one to stay with? It seems wrong to me, you’re kissing multiple dudes at the same time

Quads speak the truth

I don't see anything wrong with that

you don’t see anything wrong with making out and maybe even having sex with 3 different men at around the same time? Knowing all of them like you?

as long as they all understand they're not your boyfriend, no

How did you go to sex? Anyway if you're not in a relationship with any of them, I don't see the problem either. They know that they're pursuing a slut.

that sounds very slutty

That’s a good point. So I should just ask a girl after the first date if she’s dating other people, if she says yes then that’s good proof she’s a slut?

He deserves it for being stupid enough to give you his login credentials.

Yes, that way neither of you will waste time.

Holy fuck he does.

Well good. If that’s a good slut detection method, I’ll do it

You should be somewhat tactful about it though. Some girls would be insulted by you asking, and these would ironically be the type of girl you're trying to get.

you think it would be harmful to ask “so I need to know, are you seeing or dating anyone else” during or after a first date?

I knew she was going through some shit with her current bf, they seemed to be on and off or something but they were still together technically.
Anyway, she would stare at me in class all the time, facebook stalk me, smile at me and bump into me by accident and ask me to go for a smoke with her, she would sometimes compliment me and added me on social media even though she doesn't really do that.
Normally I'd think she's into me but her bf situation was evident and confusing for me, I tried asking her out anyway. Each time she would agree to come then come up with an excuse not to do it or not show up and then give me an excuse so I eventually gave up on her but the staring and all that didn't stop. Later she apparently got back with her guy.

What was all that about? was she just looking for a back up guy while struggling with her current bf?
why act that way tho if all her efforts went into getting back with the guy and she knew she wouldn't go out with me and I would eventually give up like I did?

Do girls avoid heavy drinkers?

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Girls, I'm on the dating site just waiting for you to message me. What am I doing wrong?

I just finished having some pretty passionate sex and noticed I have some very noticeable hickeys on my neck (male). Not sure the social etiquette. Should I be embarrassed going out when they are so visible? Does it look super lame/tacky?

not a girl but waiting is what you're doing wrong. Guys need to make the first move, unless its bumble or whatever that shit is called, for some reason girls have to make the first move there which kind of defeats the purpose of those apps since they almost never message first unless the guy is very good looking

Girl here! And I never understood this either. Seriously, I have a friend who is always talking to a minimum of four guys at once and she calls them all her "boyfriends." I never understood dating around without trying to look for a long term partner. I honestly think that it's because girls tend to value male validation, and they want to get it from as many guys possible, it's always the insecure ones who do this too. Either that or it's a fear of commitment, which is a problem with both genders.

Male Metalhead looking for a big tiddied goth gf how do I go about this?

Girls avoid fat people, so in a way.

Let's assume she shares you values and thinks that would be slutty. Lots of girls would be offended by the question "So are you a slut or something?"
Just nestle it into a general question about exclusivity.

I usually get to know multiple guys at the same time, but once I get romantic with one or physical I drop the others.

It's more efficient?

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Well that's not what concerns me
Also that's not the case. So tired of seeing how my love handle-rocking 20 year old peeps get dem qt gfs

This is why you should not care what women think and just do/say what you want or in this person's words "efficient"

That's pretty brutal your probably making the others feel inadequate. Could even ktselves. Crazy shit happens from that sorta thinkin.

Goth girls are scarce, and the remaining ones are art hoes who know nothing about the music/culture and are only into goth fashion because it's in right now, so you're going to have to appeal to art hoes if you want a "goth" gf.
Am girl and sadly, most girls don't message first. I usually used to message first on dating apps with the people I liked the most. Sadly, even a mediocre girl will get 100+ matches on a dating app, and it's hard to have to message all of them first. If you want a girl to message you first, then get bumble, however, there aren't nearly as many girls as there are guys on there, but the girl HAS to message first.

*dies*

I have a crush on someone who lives abroad. We've been friends for years now but have never met irl. She says she is going to be working in the US next year as a camp counselor so I signed up to do the same.

right now I assume she just wants to be friends, but I really want to take this opportunity that I have to see her to take it to next level.

Am I just dreaming pie-in-the-sky nonsense? Are temporary long-distance relationships possible?
Would I hurt our friendship if I tried getting into a relationship with her?

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Well that's good then I'm really artsy I play guitar and paint/draw alot. Thnx

If someone kills themselves because a girl they barely know doesn't want to date them, they have bigger issues.

It's honestly pretty normal. Talking to more than one guy at once while I'm single isn't offensive.
I don't kiss them, date them, sleep with them. I just talk to them.

Did you not read the question I would ask? The word slut wasn’t in it

I just got a 60k job offer for when i graduate in 6 months. Should/how do i brag to this girl i fancy.

Honestly this is normal behavior these days and I find it disgusting. One of my male friends does this as well and it just baffles me. Society is fucked and so are most people, relationships aren't wort the work these days.

No, sounds manipulative to me, especially if she won't even listen to how it makes you feel and stop the behavior. I think it's normal to discuss an ex in constructive ways (to get to know your partners better via knowing their past), but if she brings him up all the time and compares you with him, that seems very manipulative. Seems like she's trying to put you down. And revealing really intimate things in front of your friends to humiliate you is a bad sign, too. Seems like she's more interested in being in control/messing with your feelings than she is in being in a real relationship with you, but I'm also a rando on the internet and I know nothing else about your relationship so take this with a grain of salt.

Isn't that a pretty normal income for a college graduate? I don't know why you'd brag.

Very True but i have seen it happen

It's not the girl's fault. If they're crazy and kill themselves, they're just crazy.

Yes, but you're asking it to detect sluts, and if a girl thinks it's slutty to go on dates with multiple guys at once, she'll (correctly) interpret it as asking if she's a slut.

>I have a friend who is always talking to a minimum of four guys at once and she calls them all her "boyfriends."

Ahh god fucking dammit. Shit exactly like this makes it hard for me to trust girls. A girl could say “I only slept with “”””boyfriends””””” but in reality she was fucking random men