Girlfriend sent me a recording of her insulting me

>In any case, dump her. She’s off smoking with her friends and clearly doesn’t care about you or your grief.
This, if she'd give a shit about your feelings she wouldn't be blowing her ass off with DUDE WEED LMAO

Advice: If you live together, pack her stuff ASAP so she can quickly GTFO of your house

>my bf
Hey buddy I think you got the wrong door

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>opening up to women
You know that just gives them ammo to tear you down with right? Women are snakes

OP, this is a hard lesson to learn. Men and Women don't define Love in the same way. That's not to say women are incapable, they just express it differently. When you display any kind of weakness to them it lowers your status in their eyes, and that's a problem because women have a biological predisposition to hypergamy. It's natural to feel bad when you are going through a tough time, just be sure that you don't express that to someone you are trying to fuck/have a relationship with. If you need to vent, do it with your bros.

You're a moron. You can vent without disrespecting your bf with insults. She's childish, you're also childish if you do that.

>18 year old user was childish.
Yeah no shit, Im 29 now. But do you really think someone in OPs position is older? They are probably still young.
Now when I have a problem I go directly to him and tell her needs to fix something that hes made a muck of. Or, tell him if hes feeling depressed, we should get him a shrink, we have the insurance for it.
Made him start eating right and exercising and hes much better, he even enjoys work now.
But matter what we say, because of his young age, OP will do whatever he wants anyway.

What's the point of a relationship if your partner is someone who will judge and belittle you for having problems like a normal flawed human being?

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There's a difference between healthy venting and unhealthy venting. Sharing your emotions with your partner and dumping your emotions onto your partner aren't the same thing. Judgement and belittling has little to do with the fact that being in a relationship with someone that uses you as en emotional crutch is an exhausting and ultimately fruitless endeavor.

I'm not a woman hater, but this is absolutely 100% spot on. You cannot show weakness to woman. The ONLY exception could be the death of a family member/loved one. In any other situation, she will be sympathetic when you tell her, but she will secretly resent you for it and think less of you.

It's hypocritical as fuck, but the reality is that men and women are not the same and you just have to work with it.

Never ever vent, be weak or open up to your gf.

It is harsh but you will damage the image she has of you. Vent to family and friends, not t romantic interessts.

>dumping your emotions onto your partner
Girlfriends do that all the time

This is true and not true to a point. Sometimes even a guy breaks down, the woman should be there for him. My wife has my back when I need it.

If he's just a complainer and lazy, he doesn't really deserve the woman from the get-go.

You have a very childish understanding of relationship/gender dynamics. I think what you're failing to do here is draw a distinction between vulnerability and weakness. Vulnerability is allowing yourself to be open in sharing information and emotions that are important or impactful to you. Weakness is showing that you are incapable of dealing with impactful emotions. The difference is pretty significant.

Generally speaking, thoughtful, mature, well-adjusted women appreciate men that can allow themselves to be vulnerable; to show emotion or empathy and allow them to connect with you about your fears, hopes, dreams etc., Weakness, however, is much much difference. Weakness is when you put the responsibility of processing emotions onto your partner. Its the difference between sharing an insecurity you have with your girlfriend and demanding that your girlfriend give you constant validation or reassurance so that you don't feel so insecure. It would benefit you to learn the difference between the two things and they are both represented in adult relationships. I can tell you with a fair amount of certainty that you will never have a meaningful connection with a woman by practicing blind stoicism. If you want to talk about resentment then just talk to any woman who has dated a man for any period of time who just refused to at all be empathic or emotive. Its exhausting being in a relationship with someone and never know what they're thinking or feeling. Its not comforting to a woman to be with a stone wall. Its not a sustainable way to behave in a relationship.

>Girlfriends do that all the time
Whose girlfriend? Your girlfriend? Maybe you need to find a better girlfriend.

But there's even a story about how a girl dumped a guy after he cried over his father's death. It was ironic since he supported her when she lost one of her family members as he mentioned in the story.

Brain gymnastics really. I understand your point, but your premise is that whenever a woman does lose attraction for her man when he opened up, he definitely did it like a whiny bitch, which makes him deserving of her apathetic response. That's your premise. In a relationship women do exactly what you defined as "weakness". I think people like OP and other user's here do have a reason to feel awful about the fact that women lose attraction just for opening up. It seems like an obvious consequence that men who have experienced this, become unhealthily stoic and closed up, the 2nd thing your criticized.

Not sure why this conversation in this thread keeps getting bent and contorted to still end up criticizing men. Women unload their emotional baggage the way you criticized. Seems pretty reasonable that men would be upset they can't do the same, despite being exactly as flawed as women are, because both are people.

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You can find a story about anything, user. Whats a story about a girl dumping her boyfriend after he cried supposed to prove?

The only person who is going to look out for you is you op. Don't ever forget that.

So you're strategy is to just deny this pattern guys in this thread noticed? Alright

>but your premise is that whenever a woman does lose attraction for her man when he opened up, he definitely did it like a whiny bitch, which makes him deserving of her apathetic response
That is not my premise. That's your shitty strawman version of my premise. My premise is that there is a distinction between weakness and vulnerability. In no way am I trying to say that women never dump men for being too emotional. It happens all the time. Men also dump women for the same reason. Its also impossible to have any kind of constructive conversation on the topic because you keep saying "women" as though they're all one cohesive hive mind and behave the same way.

You characterize these interactions in a particular way because it fits your particular narrative. Its easy to blame an ex-girlfriend for why you have a difficult time sharing but thats an incredibly immature and short sighted way to live. Its difficult to get over things like that, yeah, but if your goal is to sit on the internet and claim that its your ex-girlfriend's fault that you don't have enough introspection and wisdom to seek emotionally healthy women and develop relationships with them then I suppose there isn't anything I can tell you. Yes, its reasonable to be upset but how long do you plan on being upset, user? How long do you plan on using women as the scapegoat for your emotional health?

The fact of the matter is that you are actively avoid any conversation that you even perceive as criticizing men. You want to sit on your soapbox and make excuses for every single failing every single man has because you have a very fixated, transparent agenda. It sucks when you date someone who is uncomfortable with vulnerability but stop pretending like it isn't you who picks these broken women to begin with.

The only woman who will ever love you unconditionally is your mother.

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My strategy is to assert that finding a story about something happening is not a legitimate excuse to believe that something is pattern. My strategy is also to assert that your confirmation bias makes it nearly impossible for you to objectively assertion whether or not something is pattern. The only common denominator in all of your relationships is you, user. Trying to state that your inability to attract mature, well-adjusted women is a negative reflection on women and not you is illogical scapegoating at its finest. If OP is finding a pattern in the women he's dating its because he keeps picking the same kinds of women. It constantly shocks me how often people struggle with this concept.

You criticize me for a supposed strawman but then 2/3 of your post are dedicated to making up a story about me, lol. I didn't make a strawman, that's just how I understood your post.

>saying "women" as though they're all one cohesive hive mind and behave the same way.
I'm so tired of that response. Yes, something like an average exists. No, not all women are identical, but patterns still exist.

>I'm so tired of that response
Then stop speaking in over simplistic generalizations.
>No, not all women are identical, but patterns still exist.
No, YOUR patterns exist. You have this incredibly idiotic idea that your experiences are representative of everyone's experiences; that because you personally meet women that you perceive as emotionally immature that emotionally mature woman represent an objectively significant cross section of women. You have absolutely zero understanding of how objectivity and averages work. Your anecdotal experiences could not be farther from objective observations of the world.

>You criticize me for a supposed strawman but then 2/3 of your post are dedicated to making up a story about me, lol
It wasn't a supposed strawman, it was an obvious one. Look up the definition.

The latter 2/3rd of my post was analyzing the narrative intent of your response; a response in which you spoke in sweeping generalizations about the behavior of women, actively threw justifications at every single one of my points for why women are at fault for all of the emotional failings of men and performed a series of simplistic mental gymnastics to feel justified in your anti-woman agenda whilst being extremely transparent about it in the process. I don't have to "make up stories" about you user. You couldn't have made your agenda any easier to see.

>thread about something that many men have experienced
>some dumb cunt derails the thread with NOT ALL WOMEN ARE LIKE THAT

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>NOT ALL WOMEN ARE LIKE THAT
Your reading comprehension is abysmal.

>thread about many men being giant immature manbabies who emotionally dump on their girlfriends about how they just want to give up on life
>"WHY ARE WOMEN SO TERRIBLE"

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>for why women are at fault for all of the emotional failings of men
That's neither what I believe nor ever claimed. We are talking about 1 specific topic here.

>to feel justified in your anti-woman agenda
You're so melodramatic. I give my opinion and you assign such a blown out of proportion motivation to it.

But whatever, I already lost interest in this discussion, but you didn't really get my post if that's your interpretation of it.

I was in your girlfriend shoes.

My ex boyfriend was unemployed for a year and I was working my ass off for both of us and came home to him in a shit mood. I listened to him whine every single day. I gave him advice, tried to help him, and supported him.
It was fucking annoying and draining.

So yeah, I talked to my mom and unwinded. I was rude as shit but I was really fucking frustrated.

Is it nice? No. Should she apologise? Yes. Is it normal? Yes.

Unfortunately, I think this is more or less a part of female culture in America (or wherever else as well). Obviously from a man's perspective it's wrong to go airing a loved one's personal issues, even to a friend, but I think you'd be hard-pressed to find a woman that doesn't do that. She didn't have to mock you about it though; I agree that that was over the line.

you vented and displayed weakness. on the other hand she is a stoner retard and you should dump her and find someone quality instead.

Kek.

I heard my boyfriend's friends complaining about their girlfriends thousands of times. It's not a female thing.

That's not his gf's shoes. If you are telling the truth then you are in the right to be upset about your ex bf. Is it proven that OP is a no good bum though? If not, you can't claim you are in the same shoes as his gf.

You spoke like an idiot and got called on it, fair and simple. You can call me melodramatic or claim that I blew your words out of proportion but your inability to articulate cohesive, logically sound thoughts, much like your inability to attract women with a emotional intelligence over the age of 12, is on you. You threw out strawmen, spoke with wild generalizations and false characterizations and then when you got tired of being called on your bullshit you threw up your hands and pretended like you were too good for this conversation. You're an immature chode, user. Its really not a surprise that you fail to grasp a concept as simple as personal responsibility.

>t. never been in an actual relationship.

I wasn't upset at him. He was trying to find a job really hard and was frustrated because he couldn't find anything.
Nothing wrong with what he was doing, really.

It's just draining and frustrating to support someone constantly in the way I wanted to.

Well, it's also a male thing. But women are more likely to talk about relationships than men are.
Come to think of it, my male friends almost never talk about their girlfriends to me, unless they're asking for advice. My female friends, on the other hand, do talk about their boyfriends.
I'm not claiming these are absolute laws. But most people would agree that these differences exist.

She is trash. Ghost her ass
You are also trash.

>Ever feeling negatively about your partner or expressing negative feelings about your partner makes you trash

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There's no reason to insult people behind their backs to other people.

So you are saying that by seeing that my shit smells shit its not okay to assume that all the shits taken by any person ever smelled like shit?

Not him but all your arguments just stand over ad hominem shitposts. You should spend some time elsewhere than Jow Forums.

Insulting someone is not equivalent to ad hominem, brainlet. Additionally, even if I had committed a logical fallacy using the fact that someone has committed a logical fallacy as a basis for dismissing their argument is called the "fallacy fallacy". You should spend some time on Google.

That's the most retarded piece of false equivalence I've ever seen.

I have a sneaking suspicion you've never been in a committed relationship before if you think that all forms of venting to outside parties about your relationship is equivalent to "insulting people behind their backs". Also, frustration is a pretty good reason. You're trying to tell me you've never said anything negative about someone to another person? According to you there's no reason to, right?

He didn‘t say complaining about people is „insulting people behind their backs“, the OP is literally about his gf insulting him.

You carry so much hate with you, I‘m glad I‘m not you. I hope the men you are interested in are smart enough to reject you, you‘re too toxic and self absorbed.

>he's being such a bitch lately, what a baby
That is an insult, do you disagree? Not only did OP's girlfriend insult him behind his back, she also made other people aware of OP's worries that he might have wanted to keep private. And she also pretended to be a caring and compassionate girlfriend, and hiding her true opinion of him.
>You're trying to tell me you've never said anything negative about someone to another person
Nothing that I didn't say to the person in question to their face first. And certainly not someone close to me and never someone who I pretended to be on good terms with.

>he's being such a bitch lately, what a baby
That is an insult, do you disagree? Not only did OP's girlfriend insult him behind his back, she also made other people aware of OP's worries that he might have wanted to keep private. And she also pretended to be a caring and compassionate girlfriend, and hiding her true opinion of him.
>You're trying to tell me you've never said anything negative about someone to another person
Nothing that I didn't say to the person directly first. And certainly not someone close to me and never someone who I pretended to be on good terms with.

This. How hard is it to understand that OP would lose trust for his girlfriend after this? Mature people say whatever bothers them right to the person‘s face instead of being so two faced.
Women on Jow Forums are straight up trash.

I'd say the same about yours.

You can vent without insulting. Also, be more open to your boyfriend about your feelings about him, you're supposed to communicate them to this person as he's your damn partner.

lol you got cucked

This is a lesson I didn't learn until I killed my first relationship. Whatever I do next in life I'll never forget this.

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Depends on the situation, awhile ago i needed to go abroad for a few months (work related) and had a rather emotional goodbye with my gf, i didnt cry but a few tears rolled down my cheek and i held it in like a "stay strong" kind of crying if that makes sense, she loved that shit.

If you are dating immature women who are using you for money/financial stability/status then yes, they will think that about you. That's your fault for choosing a shitty person and considering them a long-term or life partner. They don't see you as a person but a human piggy bank and way to kill time. The moment you stop being useful or interesting to them they'll throw you to the side like a used toy.
It's like the same shit with some women who constantly end up in abusive relationships, they have no common sense and choose terrible partners that keep treating them like garbage. Be more observant and stop picking girls that don't actually give a shit about you.

Yeah op your gf is shit. Unless you're like threatening suicide everyday or something, talking shit about your supposed "loved one" when they open up to you is uncalled for. How the fuck are you supposed to love and trust somebody that thinks lesser of you because you admitted to a little bit of insecurity. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with this person?

Plus the fact that she just went of to do weed afterward shows me she's a total cunt. If her weed provider is male, she's probably fucking him too. Not even r9k memes, [spoiler]I was almost in the same situation as you, OP[/spoiler]

All women are like this. It's not going to change any time soon so get used to it.

She's right, you're being a bitch. Guys ITT saying that you can't open up to women are bullshitting, though. You can whine to your girl, and she can whine about you whining to her. That's all normal human stuff.

>I take a nap
You stupid little baby, she's got a point

Her friends. Male or female?

>Is this a red flag?
Yes. This is the definition of a red flag.
>What do I do?
Sadly, the respect for you is already not in place with her in the question. You gotta consider what she is and isn't worth because she clearly doesn't care about you terribly deeply. My girlfriend can egg on about problems but I'd never call her a baby or a bitch for it unless there was a very specifically arbitrary thing involved but even then...

It sounds like she doesn't respect you as a person like she should.

You're full of shit. I hate SJW's as much as the next Ban Shapiro fan boy, but if that aint the most misogynistic shit I've read all year I don't know what is.

"Women will lose respect for you if you don't act like an emotional robot!" No, those are called shallow whores. If you're looking for a partner they will respect you and not trash talk you behind your back.

OP, when you two get together, create a quiet moment, and play the message for her, and just say "Can you explain this part to me? I wasn't spying on you, you sent it to me. Why are you saying such disrespectful things about me?"

Then you can kiss and make up. All of this hyperbole on this board is killing Jow Forums. People say dumb things, people make stupid mistakes. The true sign of maturity is being able to kiss and make up and leave it in the past. I doubt she realizes that if she said that to your face it would have hurt a great deal. Men have feelings too, and that's okay, just don't go around whining about 'em. I gather that you understand that, so I'm just reinforcing it.

Just hold her feet to the fire and repeat this line "If you wouldn't say it to a person's face you shouldn't say it at all". You don't have to have a huge fight about it, just make sure if she presses the issue you just put on your "Mr. Cool" hat on and tell her "Hey, it's over. You got caught saying something disrespectful that I didn't appreciate, and I don't like being talked about like that by someone that's supposed to love me. I don't think I'm making too big of a request here, just please don't talk about me like that. If you wouldn't call me that to my face then just don't say it".

This is the kind of warped thinking women have in relationships. You're supposed to deal with every insignificant thing their best friend did, or problems that seriously don't matter in the long run, but the second you show some sort of weakness or are sick, she'll abandon and berate you behind your back. Sure not every woman does this, but I'm starting to learn more and more a majority of women are like this. They constantly talk shit, it's just their nature. Your mistake was getting a girlfriend.

I've also learned by now that everything women hate about men, is actually stuff women do to themselves and other women. Why do you think women harp on insecurity, jealousy, beauty standards, projecting and bitterness? These are all feminine emotions. Women cannot see outside of the scope of women, so they assume everyone's problems are women's problems, which are petty and irritating.

If you're being a whiny bitch then I'm not surprised.