I'm thinking of leaving my long term relationship (10 years) for a girl who I met a month ago that I connected way...

Stupid.

Given you met the new girl a month ago you're probably 'infatuated' with the new one which seems to be caused by endorphins, hormones or whatever from time to time. Probably you're not going to be able to make very good decisions in that situation. A really simple example of this is have you ever noticed sometimes a person you find attractive can seem really interesting too until you realise later they're actually really boring and your attraction blinded you to the truth.

I suspect in like two more months you will have a more realistic view of the new girl.

You must be a bit conflicted since you're not sure what to do. I actually don't know what you should do. You'll probably end up regretting it either way. You'll either stay with current GF and wonder what could have been, or get with new girl and in your dark moments you will long for the security you believe you have now with current GF.

FUCKING SEND FAGGOT OP

Or maybe try hanging out with new girl some more and see if it really is a good connection or just a short bright spark.

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Sorry, wasn't getting much response from advice board. I just wanted someone else's output other than my friends. But it's because I pretty much lied my whole way through this relationship lying I was a person of god when I'm not. This new girl accepts me and likes the way I am and we have so much in common ontop of being from the same birthplace as well, my current gf changed me to the point when I don't recognize myself.

She's gonna cheat on you in a few months and you'll be alone jerkin off to traps on Jow Forums again wondering how you fucked up so bad.

First, wrong board. Second, I was in this position a few years back - I solved a temporary problem (boredom in an otherwise great relationship) with a permanent solution (leave for newer lady). I regret it every single day.

I'm not saying don't do it. I'm saying to *think* before you act. Give it a month and if you still feel interested more in New Girl than Old Girl, give it another month. If you're *still* interested, well...follow your heart and I hope it treats you better than it did me.

(My 'new girl' and me are still together ~3 years later and this decision still haunts me.)

This is correct and the advice I wished I'd taken.

It's the... how do you call it? Basically you think the 'new" thing is better cause it's new, it's not. It's just new.... it will be old just as fast and you'll regret leaving 10+ years for a fling and you'll be alone again. Don't be stupid.

Truth is I haven't been happy in years but I accepted that date knowing that at least I won't be lonely since all my life I've been alone even since childhood.

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That's retarded, op.

Been there and done that a couple times user, not worth it

Not wise, really.

Having been together for 10 years is going to make things feel a bit stale, and the new girl exciting in contrast. But it's in your head. She's no better than your current woman. She's merely the new shiny thing you want.

Also, I'm guessing the long term relationship is a stable one, being as long term as it is. You really want to toss it all away for someone you knew for a month?
She could turn out to be a real cunt, and you just don't see it yet.

At the very least, give it more time.

A relationships intensity will inevitably die down. Think back to the begining of your current relationship, did you have simmilar feelings as you do now. Be cautious, you may feel this way now but in time you may end up in the exact same situation as you are now

Actually nvm just read your other posts. Go for it.

Do it. Just do it. Being in a relationship where you feel like you'll be happier with someone else will never work. If you wait too long and miss your shot, you'll hate yourself for it

Like I said I actually have not been happy for several years just faking it hoping things would change, but inevitably nothing has changed. Like I said I lied to her telling her I was "growing with god" I stopped believing in god halfway through this relationship (I believed in god before meeting her but not as devout as her) ironically as I learned more I began to doubt because it's hard to believe someone for which they have no answers to.

I can't give you a good answer man. I feel like I'm in a similar situation. I've been dating the same girl since high school for 8 years now.

Theres no newer girl I'm infatuated with or anything and I doubt I would be going out getting laid all the time, but it just feels like both of us have just stopped putting in effort. I also suspect I might be clinically depressed but I'm too ashamed to see a doctor about it. I haven't just stopped putting effort into my relationship with her but I've stopped putting effort into everything. I've been like this off and on my whole life but the past three years it just seems to have been constant.

I feel like she would be better off with someone else and she is just wasting her time with me. It's a hard realization to come to. It also sucks because we will still have days where everything seems really great and it renews my faith in the relationship.

Idk what you should do. The truth is there are no right or wrong answers so whatever you choose don't feel too bad about it.

I've definitely had instances where I got to know a girl through work or something and kind of developed a crush but after getting to know them better it goes away. I don't think there is a one special person for everyone. The complicated answer is that you could probably make a relationship work with a lot of different people if you are both willing to compromise and communicate. And you both won't always be willing to do that and that's what makes it hard.

You mentioned the number one keyword I failed to enforce. She was never willing to compromise it was always her way that's why now I don't know myself anymore because I hold zero of my values, lost all my friends, three dreams crushed to please her needs, also lying about being Faithful to god. I truly let her control everything, I only tried to get her to compromise for the first two years which she never did so I just gave in but like I said now I am unhappy and deep down I know if I stay here silent I will end up miserable.

Well if you had to constantly lie through your relationship it might be better to leave it but I would make sure you get along with the person that your going to be with, give it maybe another month before you make your decision so you understand them

Even if she new girl is just a facade, it kind of has given me hope that maybe I can be loved. That's someone my current gf would imply, never say it directly but would imply "you are so messed up and full of lies I don't see how you could ever maintain another relationship" part of me always believed that since I had a fucked up past with drugs and alcohol. She came into my life and changed those values, but chose to change everything about me to whatever she liked. I have always felt I owe her my life because if not for her I would be dead but in the end would it be worth putting my happiness on the line in hopes things will get better or just end it before we go further.

Do it.

If you're not happy, leave the bitch.

6 years with one here. Can confirm

jesus lmao
i had that

drop it while you've got the sense to. you'll look back and know you've wasted lots of time. just happens

This.

Don't do it, but fuck the new girl a couple of times and get it out of your system.

If you want the best advice of your life when it comes to women listen to Patrice oneals black Philip show, and the Tom leykis show.

Do it. It wont work out but still, from a friendly oldfag, do it.

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I wish it was about sex, but the first thing that attracted me from this new girl was her personality and character (don't get me wrong she's gorgeous). I connected with her so much. That past month I have not been able to get this girl out of my head

Don't try to trade up, user

I feel you dude. You can't lie to yourself and who you are, pursue happiness and you will achieve it I swear.

Compromise from both parties is the basis of any long term relationship, if you feel the relationship has made you grow into a better person than it is worth considering speaking openly with your gf before trashing everything.
You can start with the "small things" or with how your faith is no longer there (seems like the main "breaking point"). If you are not satisfied with your current relationship the most natural thing is to look for another, but more often than not you will find you will need to work your way trough it anyway. Even if you feel like having a "head start" with the new one.

Fuck these other anons, you have one life, live it.
What is life but the pursuit of happiness, it will hurt but that's how things are. Sometimes forcing yourself out of your comfort zone is the most affirmative way to learn about yourself.

Yes because we all know how much Christians love to compromise their faith. We fought so much because she tried to teach me something I knew a lot about then when I asked questions she could not answer or would say god has a plan for all of us. My life was fucked up because god had a plan for me. It's hard for a person who has lived through some of he worse things in life that god is on your side.

>"you are so messed up and full of lies I don't see how you could ever maintain another relationship"

That's something an abusive person would say.

If she would compromise we probably would have been happy long long ago and married.

How about if she threatened to kill herself multiple times if I left her.

I've always seen her as the victim because I have hurt her but all my friends have always told me otherwise and would even make fun and mock me saying she controls you she owns you and has you whipped.

Seems like you have have your answer: if she forces her religion on you then you should probably look elsewhere. Seems like she is having her way with you through guilt tripping. You should not be "faking it" just for the sake of being with someone or when real challenges come one of you will break hard I think.

Another truth is I'm close to my breaking point. I'll either commit suicide in the long run if things don't get better or have a mental breakdown.

Fuck both until the first one doesn't want to anymore. Then fuck only the second one.

reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/

Haha, what is that? I haven't had sex since I met her because she wants to wait till marriage. I never pressured her and have not cheated.

I was I was the same boat as you. You need to find out what you want and act like a God damn man. Either stick with the chick or leave.

Oh my god, break up with your girlfriend if you've been together 10 years and not had sex!!!!!

I too think it's bullshit but what can you do when she devouts her whole life to Christ and you laugh every time she prays because you just can't believe someone would be so blind. There isn't any god and when you die you're just dead

Yeah I wish I was like you and just did it. But my conscious still fights me in not wanting to break her heart. But it's better now than never though.

80/20 rule is a thing. You see the 20% off things you want but don't have in your relationship in the new girl but by going for the new girl you're giving up the 80% relationship you do have.

I would be fine with it being 80/20, but it's not. It's 100/0 it's always been her way

a month isn't long enough. you're just chasing the new/exciting/different. dont be stupid.

What do you suggest is a good time. Like I said I have connected with her In ways I never did with my GF. Not to mention how much we have in common including being born from the same state living close to each other

Give it a bit more time before you make that decision

Don't leave because you have a better connection with someone else. Leave because your connection with your long term girl is shit and you know it but just dont want to admit it.

nothing is exact, but 1 month is too short. maybe 3-5 months? Also do you want to be with your current girl for a long time? Say you didnt meet this new girl at all, would you still want to stay with your current girl?

Wait... What the fuck is wrong with you man.
I have been dating my gf for less than a year and we had sex since the first date.
You should definitely try something with the other girl.

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this

This, plain and simple. Always be playing the long game, thats how you get ahead in life. Don't let on to either party until you've had enough time to make a very educated decision.

Truth is I have not left her because I fear of being alone. I've been alone all my life.

dud Either she is fully devout to god, the flying spagetthi, the fucking cookie monster or another dude dick and you have to find out and quick and make a choice.
Dude you still think of breaking her hear when whe tore up your soul and actual being after "Saving" you from your past.
She is posesive and you have to make your choise

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This

nvm i just read go for it, but mainly for the fact that you should get out of your current relationship. doesnt sound like a good fit.

totally fair. makes sense with that long of a relationship. sounds like this new girl would be more compatible with you m80. go for it

Ok, good now any advice on how to tell this new girl I want her more than friends and that I would leave me girl for her, because to me that sounds like oh you're my second option.

>asking for relationship advice
>On the Erotic Mongolian Basket Weaving Forum

Do you know a better place where you can remain anonymous?

>What is a therapist
She want's to be chaste till marriage
>What is her Pastor/Priest/Rabbi/
Nigga's been dating for 10 years and hasn't gone for the proposal yet. Not getting any pussy is his own fault.

do it faggot.
get her to send noods first then break up with her over text.
screenshots or GTFO.

Don't worry about Monthly, you should leave the relationship for your own reasons. Don't cover it up the real reasons with a fling.

You're not wrong user

OP, you don't stick around for 10 years because it's dull. They can't keep up a game for 10 years, you know how she is. Either Wife Up or walk, but don't think you're doing it because you "Found something better" you're scared of that next level. Take the plunge, otherwise you just spent the last decade fucking around.

Good ol' Jow Forums. Telling people to ruin their lives. Just do it.

I had this situation. twice. 10+ year relationship, content but not excited. have a few issues that we were not confrontational enough to address, have our own interests and careers that consumed more of our attention than they should have. sexual chemistry dead altogether.

short of it is I had two affairs within a year, each time intending to leave my old gf for the new one (neither of whom knew about her btw). Each time it fizzled after 4-6ish months. in both i thought it was genuinely a good move for me, that my other relationship was dying. fortunately i was too weak or too little impulsive to ever end it and just strung both along while trying to work up the nerve. and in both instances i realized what i had was - sex aside - richer than what i would be trading it for. especially when much of that appeal was the rush of novelty before complications set in.

now i'm married. still never solved several of the issues but from watching how i worked with the other two i realized the core problem - that the consistency of your own personality more or less guarantees you'll just end up recreating the same problems in different relationships. their reactions may differ of course but the root will still be the same.

so the moral is apparently - cheat until you realize it's not worth it, don't let either party you're two timing know about the other, skillfully maneuver out of the affair (play it so she dumps you out of frustration), suppress your guilty conscience, and carry forward as before it all - somewhat wiser and much less innocent.

Wow. Just wow.

I feel bad for you because you can't make this decision on your own and because have to ask the internet how to live your life.

do it... girls always do this.. show these cunts what they get away with all the time..
dump that bitch.. hope she gets depressed and fat and starts smoking and die with cancer..

and on top of that new pussy..

dump that bitch.. girls do this all the time..

avenge us brother.. you deserve happiness.

the length of a relationship does not indicate the strength of it. if you would be happier with someone else then do it.

I mean I could always stay with her and accept I'll be empty inside for never choosing to make a decision in this relationship because she would always control the situation. I'm pretty certain what I will end up doing i just wanted to know what others thought of this situation and if they have lived this before.

this is very common thing that girls do bruh.. im in the other side of your story.. and the girl im currently hate fucking is also someone who dumped her bf of 8 years..

extremely common thing girls do.

you should do it asap.. you deserve the best..

good luck to you. and your 10 year grill too.. it will build her character..

Why not keep both?

Sixish months into a new relationship with a girl that I left my ex for. We had been dating just over five years.

I regret it everyday.

I'm not saying you will too, I'm saying that it's a choice you can't come back from. Even if it doesn't work out with the new girl and you get back with the old one your relationship won't be the same. I chose to leave because I thought this new girl was so much more similar and fun than my ex. I wasn't wrong but it's not what I want anymore and I can't go back.

Think about it man, think about it for a long time before you make your choice either way.

Very stupid. But it's your life, you will get to live with the consequences.
It is evident that you want to do it: so just do it. Hope it's worth it.

>the moral is apparently - cheat until you realize it's not worth it
>cheating
>moral
fuckedinthehead.jpg

>it will build her character

One way or another you need to break up with your current gf for your own good. This is not a “think your choice over” the fact that you made this thread alone is enough to tell you ultimately wabt out.

When you do you will regret it and realize how much you miss all the things that you now overlook and even traits that bother you now might be things you look for in future partners.

The pain of loss will make you a stronger and wiser person. Hopefully you will take the time to grow your own character and interests.

If you’re clever enough you will get or steal something that will feel like being in love with a best friend sometime in your future.

P.S. you will never be happy until you break up. you WILL regret the breakup. it will make you happy in the end. Try to be a good boy someday

Did you read my other post on the fact she had already broken up with me once? Me out of not wanting to be lonely in life I chased rather than looked for someone else jumping hoops just to be with her now I'm here.

Not sure why you're on this board, but here are some thoughts anyway.

If you're having these thoughts at all, maybe your current relationship isn't right for you. It doesn't matter whether you end up with this other girl. You're able to seriously consider this, so your relationship is in trouble. For your and your girlfriend's sake, you should consider whether you want to be with her in the first place.

That being said, it isn't abnormal to have these thoughts. Especially after a long time, you might feel like the spark is gone, you have nothing keeping you together, and just the general mundane nature of long-term relationships. but it doesn't have to stay that way. Figure out what is right for you. If you think that what you have is worth it, then you and your girlfriend might need some changes in the relationship. Just like all other success in life, successful relationships are never-ending projects.

In sum, approach them as separate issues. First, figure out where you are. Then figure out where you want to go. Good luck.

>flippancy detection failed

Right.

Hey op, i just got out of a relationship with a woman who hurt herself alot and got angry alot. i KNEW that that was not what i wanted, and i got angry and frustrated with her. Perhaps it was inablity on my part to help, but it wasnt my job to help, she needed to get help.

but anyway, if you feel like you need to get out...then get out.

Would you quit a job without having a new one first? Dont be fucking stupid, make sure she is into you too.