Anons with successful, wholesome, and long term relationships, how did you do it...

>and building miniature WWII tanks
s-shut up!
take it back

Honestly mine was luck of the draw. I'm good looking, short but good looking Socially awkward but funny most people think I'm boring until they meet me but I won't ever approach someone. So if I was ugly I'd but fucked. I know a friend that's everything I'm not but nothing I am and he gets friendzoned

Met at church, talked about hobbies, did some community service at a school together, found out we both had similar values and interests, our parents liked each other and started going to church as a group, got married a few years later.
We were both picky but lucked out we had no complaints about one another.

well hey I build gundams and shit so I'm no better, probably worse actually

but I do it because it's fun and I enjoy it. I'm not pretending that it's going to magically make a wife appear out of thin air though

No one is going to tell you the answer OP

This board is full of fucking weirdos, autists and weeaboos who are all neurotic and insecure as hell but miraculously all still manage to get girlfriends. But then they’ll tell us to “not focus on women” and “fix ourselves first” despite the fact they didn’t do these things

There is NO logic or sense to if. Everything is random. I can put in all the effort I can muster towards getting a GF and fail miserably while some fucking Jow Forums nerd with no social skills can stumble into his college anime club and somehow walk out with a girlfriend with no effort. It’s fucking cruel and unfair

Why do you want a gf so bad?

I like physical intimacy. I like the emotional closeness that comes with being romantically in tune with someone. I know that from the few very limited experiences I’ve had with girls

Relationships are a natural part of life. If you’re gonna ask “why do you want a gf” you might as well ask “why do you want friends” “why do you want a family”

Most of all I just want to feel alive. I want to feel human. I don’t like feeling unwanted and undesirable. I don’t like feeling like I’m the only guy who can’t get a date to save his life. Like what am I doing so wrong that the others aren’t doing?

This is just a thought, but maybe because he's lonely?
Why do women get so asshurt when men complain about being lonely?

Dated over 100 women.
Found a diamond among the coal. Put a diamond on it.
Diamond squared.

Where did I meet her? A bar.

Criteria: not retarded, worth my dick and not playing hard to get.

I was just asking cause I’m an asexual and can’t relate.

Incel's are not tolerated on this board

>asexual
Start doing heavy squats and deadlifts

What is deadlift?

I met my girlfriend in my senior year. Quite an awkward meeting but there was one distinct event that told me she was worth it.
We were in several classes together but oblivious for the first couple months. She approached me in calculus asking for my help and asked me for my number to text me if she had questions. Later that week we planned a study meeting in the library for an upcoming calc test. Very awkward to say the least, she was as red as a tomato the entire time, either quietly staring or nervously laughing. Fast forward some time and we eventually skype each other constantly for math or just talking. One night parents are out and i have a friend over, i decide to have something to drink. I filled a water bottle with vodka and drank it on cam talking to her until she dared me to chug it because it looked like water. Being a dumbass i did, solid half water bottle with jelly beans as an anchor meal. Smart. Instant regret. Hands and face go numb, there is such a delay in my impulses to move all the while she is on the call freaking out. Ended up vomitting, friend passed out on the couch. She texts me to tell her my address. She came 10 min later with gummies, water and some oatmeal (it was around midnight). She looked so worried for me even though she barely knew me. No one had ever done something like this and i couldn't let her pass by me like that.
I asked her out a week later.
Kinda trashy and kinda doesn't fit the critera but it worked, been dating since.

how heavy are talking
is 2pl8 good enough

Met my fiancee through an Arma 3 MilSim group actually. This is going to sound so odd. I joined the group knowing there was a chance they would go full autismo on me by being a girl. So I figured I should at least let the admin of the group know about me. Said hi to him throughout the Discord DM. He said hi back and noticed where my avatar was from (obscure manga). We started talking about it, I joined the private TS channel with him in it because I was working from home and didn't wanted to constantly switch screens and type... and before you know it was 8 hours of chatting later, the next day 12 hours and by day 3 we kept the call open while we went to sleep. We both tried to deny how we felt about each other in the first two weeks. He just got out a long term relationship and I was absolutely done with relationships after my last failed attempt. But he makes me feel a love I haven't in so many years. Still going strong and ofcourse gaming together whenever we aren't working.

This dropped out off the sky for me. But sometimes it's too good to let you pass by I'm really happy I didn't.

My list of what I want in a partner is quite long (ancient user here). Loyal, sincere, terrible humor (puns, pick up lines, cheese shit), communicative, dependable, his own person, open about everything towards me, common interests, can cheer me up when I'm at my worst, doesn't freak out when I want some alone time, spontaneous... I can carry on for a while but the TL;DR is that I found it all and more in him.

Just give it time and you'll meet the person if you're open for it happening. Good luck OP.

The deadlift is where you pick up a weight while maintaining a straight back and using your legs to help you. I was half kidding in my post, but I feel significant attraction to women after doing both exercises since they make various hormones skyrocket. If you’re interested, look into programs like starting strength and GSLP.
Depends on your body weight, your hormones get significantly affected once you start doing 1.5x bodyweight squats and 2x bodyweight deadlifts. I personally start noticing a great difference around 2pl8s in the squat and 3pl8s in deads

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>how did you do it?
We met, we got along, we started dating. I don't really know what else to say, we just happen to be two people that are attracted to one another and get along fantastically

>Where did you meet your significant other?
University. First week, I believe, though we didn't start dating for a few years. Seven years later, we're now engaged

>What kind of criteria did you have?
I didn't have any 'criteria' as such, at least not consciously.

normalslime faggots will tell you to uh user it just happens

it doesnt, first you need to be around women, at work, during your free time, maybe the neighbourhood, maybe a holiday, somewhere which isnt a fucking sausage fest

secondly, you must not fell over heels over the first woman that gives a shit about you, be a bit mysterious, be flirty, imply you could fuck all of them, be a bit (really, just a tiny bit) of a jerk but also overall pleasant and kind

once a female show some interest in you, you can start pursueing, no that doesnt mean confessions, it means spending time togather and being a man at the right moment

now you have a girlfriend or atleast someone who you are seeing, you are done hurray! NOOOOOPPEEE
now comes the hard part because now you need to keep her interested a bit, endure her shittests and being a good bf without becoming a doormat
good bf qualities:
>has money
>has his shit togather
>knows when to talk and when to stfu
>fuck her really really fucking hard everytime (not that easy)
>calm
>makes decisions

a relationship with a woman is like living with a toddler and whore
you fuck the whore really fucking hard and take care of the toddler

t. oldfag with a girlfriend

OP was asking people with successful and wholesome relationships, not people who are roleplaying like they have toxic relationships..

>how did you do it?
as retarded as it sounds, put her needs before mine. not always but often. that only works when both partners do this though
>Where did you meet your significant other?
playing online, things developed from there, neither of us was actively looking for a relationship
>What kind of criteria did you have
be female and not a slut, I guess?
as I said, I wasn't looking for a relationship so I can't exactly tell what I wanted her to be, but she was exactly what I needed
we only moved in together after marriage though, and same goes for sex

shut the fuck up little shit, the very fact you think im larping shows you are some basement dwelling incel

I dunno user. I also kind of see this perspective sometimes and I have a 'wholesome' relationship. ha.. (no drugs, no cheating, been going a few years etc)

Anyway, my advice for the OP is to search for love. I wouldn't have found my gf if I hadn't started checking out online dating.. and then messaging a tonne of women before I eventually found her. Finding love, from my experience, is not a passive affair.

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fpbp

>how did you do it?
I dunno how to answet this one, we just clicked. She crushed on me major which was super flattering but you'd have to ask her to see what she saw in me.

>Where did you meet your significant other?
Company higher up introduced me to her daughter. I wasn't looking for a relationship (and actually had just come out of a fucked up one.)

>What kind of criteria did you have?
Good looks, takes care of herself, in school or work.

>successful, wholesome, and long term relationships
Understand: She has baggage, will bitch. You will fight. She has flaws, some better, some worse than yours. You get to know another person on an intimate level which means all the ugly parts will shine out with the irradiation of a thousand nuclear bombs. You will both feel lonely sometimes even. You have to work together to create something beautiful after honeymoon stage, and it is work. A long term relationship is deciding if this one is worth that work and also what kind of work you want to put into it. It's good to know what you want in a relationship whether it's a clean house, sex and not much else or a partner/best friend.

I like your story

Starbucks.
I was a polite regular customer for a month.

Haven't looked in a year, still alone and borderline suicidal. Blow it out your ass.

This. This is what most people don't get about dating and relationships.

If you see yourself as ugly, yeah. But really ugly people are rare. ..most of the time it's people who have just stopped caring about their own body or how they look.
Still an ugly guy who lives well is better than a bitter sad as fuck Jason.

goddammit you're me. Keep your head up user, it's not over yet.

23 years together, 3 kids, great relationship desu. Humor is important, try to find someone you can joke with. I lucked out randomly though, don't really know how you can do that...

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Met at work, we were just good friends for 7 months. He asked me out once in the first month, but I wasn't attracted to him at the time and wasn't looking for a relationship (I was also an awkward virgin that was a bit scared of the thought of dating). We remained friends after that and I really liked that he didn't insist anymore and he didn't treat me differently. That was the biggest thing that separated him from the other guys at work who prepositioned me, not once did he treat me in a special way or tried to impress me. He acted with me like he acted with everyone else and I respected that a lot. With the other guys it was blatantly obvious that they only wanted to get in my pants and would wear kid gloves when they interacted with me, treating me differently.

After getting to know him better I started to fall for him more and more and finally got the courage to ask him out. I think this is really what a lot of men don't realize, you don't have to put women on a pedestal. You just have to respect them and treat them like you would treat everyone else (assuming you're a stand up guy who doesn't treat friends and strangers like shit). I don't know, at least that's what I like in a life partner. He's the first guy that treated me as an equal and not as a potential prize he needs to impress. Don't be desperate, act normal with her.

Tinder

In this town, it's absolutely amazing that just being funny and respectful to a girl makes her wet as fuck

I've only been dating my girlfriend for about 22 months now. Not super long term, but it is the longest relationship I have had up to this point in my life.

>How did I do it?
Effort. A lot of fucking effort. We come from different cultures so this relationship has been eye opening for each of us in our own ways. I have never tried this hard at anything in my life. Love is a powerful motivator. She's an amazing woman, the love of my life, and has made me believe in the concept of marriage by what she offers as a life partner. I would do terrible and beautiful things for this chick.

>Where did you meet your significant other?
On campus. We were taking an exam early for the same class(we had it at different times, same teacher). I noticed her and introduced myself. Within a month of """"studying"""" together I realized I liked her. She gave my autistic ass a chance. Worked great thus far.

>What kind of criteria did you have?
I wasn't really looking for a girlfriend at the time. I knew I had yellow fever, but wasn't interested in relationships. Got a whiff of this nerd and fell head over heels though.

Pic related is us the other week.

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>OP forgot for a second where he is

Incels aren't welcome here
Go away

>how did you do it?
I got over myself and started taking risks. I asked a girl out. I applied to a fuckload of jobs, even ones I wasnt quite qualified for, yes I bombed some interviews. I took classes that were beyond my ability and failed them. Rejection and failure is what builds you up into a successful person better and faster than a life of zero challenges ever will.
>Where did you meet your significant other?
College party
What kind of criteria did you have?
Someone who I enjoy spending time with and who enjoys spending time with me. Yes "enjoy" includes sexual attraction and pleasing appearance but you're not me, my list of likes and dislikes will not be the same as yours
There is no checklist for success. Actually my bad, there is. And it has one requirement
Try
The reason you are a miserable waste of space is because you put all your mental energy into justifying never trying. The reason you are alone and friendless is because all you look for is the negatives in people and how they'll hurt you. The reason you're looking to fucking Jow Forums for advice is because you are dead fucking stupid. No actual mental disability, just a fucking idiot loser not willing to put an ounce of brainpower towards self reflection and improvement. I can tell because you posts wojacks like some kind of newfag retard.

Okay but I am a female with 0% attraction to other females. But I am going to try to start weight training cause my doctor said it will be good for me. But I don't actually know if I am strong enough to lift the bar even without weights on it. LOL.

I bet a dollar she only took you because of that fat tongue

Enjoy your beta ass hapa children who will look nothing like you and inevitably grow up to be incel school shooters

If you think my tongue is fat wait until you see my d..k

I met my husband on Jow Forums. We've been together for 8 years, married for 5.

My criteria:
>he'd be my best friend even if he wasn't my SO - no one gets me like he does, I have so much fun with him, we can talk about anything, I never get bored of him
>he's a good person, I genuinely admire him for who he is and what he does with his life
>he's hot as f u c k
>we want the same things, we always went in the same direction
>he accepts me and supports me, I never felt the need to hide anything from him

I guess that we're a good match, and we communicate a lot. Always. We care about us as a couple and we are willing to put all the work necessary to be together whenever things get rough. Where there's a will, there's a way.

My roommate's co-worker. There was some drama and then now we're seven years strong.

My criteria was simple: someone who can think rationally and logically and understand that life keeps moving. When you've seen some shit, you begin to care a lot more about the shit that can happen in life and the kind of people it takes to see it through.

A lot of people encounter this problem, see, where they date. The thing is, my girlfriend and I had a long lasting friendship of roughly a year and a half before we started seriously dating. They're called boyfriend, girlfriend, for a reason.

If you want help getting relationships, get the fuck off Jow Forums. It will not ever help you. Not now, not ever.

Nah, doesn’t work. I’ve stopped looking for a relationship for 7 years now and love has not “found me”.

>Just b urself and a gf will magically appear :)

congrats on creating the next generation of incels with this kind of shit advice

I feel like its true and it seems to make sense, but you still need to be able to tell when a girl sees you in a romantic sort of way as opposed to just being friendly. I think what most people struggle with that are already on the right path, is making that distinction and having the courage to act on it, especially if you've never dated anyone before.

For me personally, I feel like I'm pressured because I doubt I'll have the opportunity to meet anyone once I'm done with college. Soon to be in 2nd year and kind of worried I might miss my opportunity to meet someone there, but at the same time I don't want to look for women since that sort of contradicts the point you made, which is valid. I think having been in a relationship at least once before would make me care less and be more focused on myself. Right now I feel like my time is running out and the longer I stay single, the more embarrassing my first relationship would be since I'm already 23 years old and don't want to end up being 30 and still a kissless virgin. Whether its a meme or not, its still embarrassing to have no experience at this age, even if I didn't feel ready for dating until now

I was were you are at now. Around 23 I was at my most desperate. Everyone around me was already in relationships or were sleeping around. I was beginning to feel the weight of being the virgin of the group.
Around 25 I mellowed out and “stopped looking” for relationships, focusing on myself.
Now 7 years later I’m still a lossless virgin and love has never “found me”. It has just been very monotonous and lonely years.

It's true, though. Sitting there and constantly ruminating on whether or not you'll get a woman just shows women you're obsessed with sex and getting pussy, and objectifying women went out of style somewhere around 1975. Negging made a brief resurface and then women realized they were literally just being insulted into putting out and it's basically a laughingstock for them now.

If you want a woman, nothing will damn your chances more than constantly hunting for her in every corner, in every female who you meet. I don't know why you faggots don't understand this. Is it that fucking difficult for you to do literally anything in life except 'work to get laid'? Like come on.

It's good advice if you have an occasion to interact with girls, if you have a large social circle/intend to build one, etc.
If you don't talk to girls at all unless you try, then you should try.

I’ve talked to many women during these 7 years, I have a large social circle. Love has not “found me”.

Because the alternative is to take your advice and work on other shit and then whoops! You're 40 and still have no kids!

Why do you think that's the case? What doesn't work for you?

I honestly think it's good advice, in general. Like, all the people I know who are in healthy long term relationship kinda went with that.
They weren't desperate for love, they just kinda went out with girls till they found one they liked, or had been friends with girls till one developed into something more.

Anything would just be speculation on my part on why it doesn’t work. I could say I’m ugly but it would leave us nowhere.
In my opinion I’ve never seen it work. All my friends were approached by girls that liked them, and when we were younger my friends were also desperate yet they still found people they had relationships with for years, some who are still in those relationships. Now I see the same things happening minus the desperation because my friends know they will be approached or meet new people.

there are multiple factors to consider
>are you good looking?
if the answer is "no" then you need to really put in the work and make yourself likable to girls, but don't pursue them, just display yourself and when interacting, be yourself, as in be comfortable around her.
If you're good looking then things will be easier, you'll actually be able to choose between women and you don't even have to work on yourself that much. A good looking friend of mine who was a NEET, with depression managed to get a qt gf just because she found him attractive and then once she made him happy, realized he is fun to be around so thats all good looking people seem to need.

>are you pursuing/developing any hobbies?
if lets say, you play guitar, then you may want to do something about it, be more public about it, like play in bands, play gigs, expose your hobby to the outside world and if you're really committed to it then you'll meet people that like this sort of thing and one of them may happen to be a girl that may happen to like you and be a part of the world you live in

>do you have an interesting personality?
are you likable? if not then try being more positive and approachable. Be interesting in your conversations but never go out of your way to please someone when talking to them, they need to impress you too and if you take all the burden on yourself then she'll have too much say on the matter and most likely will sting you along until someone better comes along or settle down for you if noone does

The advice of love just “finding you” is starting to deviate a lot now isn’t it?

Not the guy you’re talking to but

I’ve been told I’m good looking. Female friends have complimented me and said I’m attractive and have a good sense of style. Also I once got desperate enough to post on /soc/ and some other rating sites and was rated 7/8 out of 10.

Despite all this I’ve never been on a date, am a virgin, and receive no sexual attention from women. What am I doing wrong?

I was a 21-year-old virgin. I met her on OkCupid. I'm white, she's black.

We were from different states. I was going to travel to her state.

I met her on a party, she had a panic attack and disappeared like Cinderella.

Then, on chat, the subject of sex came up and I don't know how, but we planned to meet again and fuck. So we did.

Then we fucked a second time.

I came back to my state, and then we kept sending nudes to each other and she came to my state and stayed a few days in my house.

Then I was able to know her better. She was a very decent person. Atheist, but with Evangelical upbringing. Always was considered ugly (well, I think she is hot).

She also cooked well and knew how to manage a house. She's a feminist, but likes to do these things.

Also, she was very romantic and cute, and I ended up falling in love with her.

We moved in together and live together since 2016. We have three cats. We always talk things openly and almost never fight. Only minor arguments, but we express things, so it's pretty good.

Almost all of this, however, has happened without my control, so I don't know if I can give any tips or whatever, but I guess work on yourself and your interests and stop worrying so much. You can't control everything.

>Sitting there and constantly ruminating on whether or not you'll get a woman just shows women you're obsessed with sex and getting pussy, and objectifying women went out of style somewhere around 1975. Negging made a brief resurface and then women realized they were literally just being insulted into putting out and it's basically a laughingstock for them now.

I never said anything against any of that, nor was it ever put forth in the original post I was replying to. I actually 100% agree with all of that.

>If you want a woman, nothing will damn your chances more than constantly hunting for her in every corner, in every female who you meet.

Also true.

But the original point was literally "[love] will come to you. You won't even have to search for it"

No. You have to put in SOME effort and go out into the world and see who's out there. Sitting there polishing your coin collection will not make wife appear in your living room.

What I mentioned goes more under the "self improvement" part of things, that just increases your chances of love finding you. If you sit on your ass and do nothing all day except leave to places you have to go to, then love will find you, but it may take 20 years. If you actively pursue a better life, for yourself, then you're simultaneously improving your chances of someone finding you. Because lets be honest, if you were happy with your inability to talk to people and your bad looks then you'll have all the confidence and positivity you need to attract someone and how many people like that do you know? none I can think of. And I'm now calling you ugly or anything, its just an example. Anyway, point is, you need to put yourself in other people's shoes, see what may not be attractive about you and try and change it, even if no girls will like it then at least you will, but that often does the trick with women anyway, confidence is key.

Looks are subjective, for example, I don't like girls that others may consider a 9 or 10/10, they're hot but they just don't seem attractive to me. I've been rated from 4 to 8/10 on those threads so I'd take them with a grain of salt.
Well, the friend I was referring to in my earlier post was a virgin until he was 22 and to my knowledge, what he fucked up on was the fact he's awkward and struggled to make a move on a girl he liked, he just acted like he's not interested. How many girls have you asked out? what was their response? are you putting yourself out there? try befriending a girl, be yourself around them, share your hobbies with them and make yourself seem like a possible dating option, feel things out, start flirting casually, see how she reacts. Theres also a chance you're going after shy, introverted, average looking girls who feel too intimidated to admit someone like you may like them, so you need to make it clear you do

>if you were happy with your inability to talk to people
I already stated I don't have a problem or inability to talk to people
>your bad looks
I don't know what my looks are, completely average I'd imagine. I've seen friends that were uglier than me be approached by women. People that were less confident as well.

>2pl8 squat
>~200 lbs bodyweight

FUCK

>How many girls have you asked out?

None since I was 16, now 22

Girls don’t act like they want me to ask them out

Wow, this kindness looks like wife material. Nice story

Find something fun and invite her. If she doesn't want it, she doesn't want it. You'll NEVER regret asking her out, even if she refuses. It's much less humiliating than you fear will be. I'm still mad with myself for NOT asking out some girls eight years after the fact. However, I have already been rejected a few times and don't regret anything. I'm actually very good friends with a 10/10 redhead who rejected me when I asked her out.

But surely if a girl wanted me to ask her out, she would send me some signals?

Girls just treat me like a friend

The way to keep a woman is to be a man in every essence. It's a shame most of you are raging faggots.

How do they treat you, exactly?
I fell for this "signals" stuff when I was a teenager. I thought I was in the friendzone of a girl who kept ASKING ME TO GO TO HER HOUSE WATCH A MOVIE ALONE WITH HER. I fell for the meme. I still regret it.
Try to reevaluate more optimistically. Some girls may even like you. Try to pay attention: if a girl wants to spend alone time with you, she probably likes you.

It’s been a very, very long time since a girl wanted to spend alone time with me.

With girls it’s just like, they’re friendly to me, they sometimes find me funny. But I don’t think any of them find me sexually attractive. I’m not fuckable or dateable. It really makes me upset

OK, if you're sure they don't want you (although this might be biased), then cultivate your friendships free of sexual interest. Think of your current female friends as "no-go zones". Treat them as you would treat your bros.
Then go after girls outside your circle, especially girls you don't know. Dating apps are great for that. If you screw up with a girl, just block her and try again with a different. And again. Till you're good at it.

How do you surround yourself with people? I was bullied mercilessly in high school and now in college. As a result I don't have any friends, and more importantly, I never developed socially. I'm working now in a new city and I have no idea how to meet anyone, especially when 80% of my day is spent working and surviving.

You're cringy and autismo as fuck (that post!) but I'm genuinely glad that you've found someone you can appreciate. These sour souls can fuck off with their negativity.

Would like to add to this: don’t fap if getting a gf is something you want.
That’s like forcing yourself to puke after meals while hoping to gain weight.

is this a shill post to make relationships sound like a living hell or what

>live alone
>barely make enough to pay rent and buy groceries
>feel weird around friends, don't really feel comfortable socially anymore
>stop asking people to hang out to see if anyone actually likes me anymore as opposed to tolerating me
>months pass, no desire to socialize anymore
>people tell me to get new hobbies, can't even afford broadband internet let alone a hobby
>zero motivation for anything any more
Idk what I expected but my life has been going downhill since I was 18

fuck some hoe who fucks you on the first date, actually marry the roasty. Congrats on not getting completely fucked over in divorce courts, lol. You got lucky bud, buy some lottery tickets.

>How did you do it

At the heart of it I think we were just really compatible people, who met at the perfect time

>Where did you meet your SO

College

>What kind of criteria do you have?

What does that even mean lol

When we met I was a senior in college, and she was sophmore, dunno, we have similar interests but enough unique things about ourselves that made us interested in one another

I know she thought after our first date that I'd not contact her again and she was psyched when I did and 4 years later we still out here

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Santa Monica??

I was in highschool. I was an outcast weirdo. Made friends with other outcast weirdo. We both cared about each other and shared interests. We wanted to better each others lives- OH SHIT HOLD ON I LOVE THIS GIRL! I tell her because I'm not a pussy. She tells me she likes me too. We get togeather.

Pretty simple. Find someone you care about, develop a relationship over time based on shared interest and mutual caring for each other, Please don't be black pilled, annon, I want you to be happy. Someone having a vagina doesn't specifically mean they have any specific traits besides the vagina. Not all womena re the same, you might be looking in the wrong places.

You are an idiot. No where did I mention that we fucked on first date. Following your logic I also got married on the first date.
If you weren't such a loser maybe you wouldn't spend your time shit posting on Jow Forums and you'd have a girlfriend.

I know it's a bit of a meme. But I think what has made my relationship last as long as it has is by sticking to one simple rule:

Your girlfriend is always right, ALWAYS.

>still massive biological desire to acquire a gf but zero sex drive

This can't be good

met my wife while i was living abroad.

relationship is good because we keep separate bank accounts, have same ideas on how to spend money and where to vacation. we both don't argue over stupid shit.

That may prolong the relationship, but I can't imagine it being a very happy one

I met my partner on OKCupid. It's now been 7 years and we have a 4-y-o son.

I honestly think what allowed us to make our relationship work is that we were both experienced with long-term relationships. I had been engaged to someone, but left before we married; she had been married for a few years to someone. Both relationships ended poorly.

Our previous relationships taught us so much about ourselves, about how to communicate, about what we want in a relationship and what we're willing to compromise on. We both understood what red flags to watch our for, and what mistakes we had made, and how we could do better in the future.

TL;DR
Both people having previous relationship experience is an asset