ONEitis

Same. But im a girl. Why am i such a fucking whore. Why does it have to be him that comes to my mind when i get off? I have spent the last three days in bed depressed and horny, i want him so fucking bad. I cant love anyone like this if i cant drive this lust out of my head.

I think it has to do with the way our brain picks out suitable mates for us.

There is a specific type of person who matches the best with your genes. If your brain 'identifies' that type of person, it wants to have sex with that person really, really bad.

I think there is very little you can do about it other than hoping it will pass some day. You can't really fight it because it's human nature and human biology to be very attracted to a specific type of person who has the right genes and the right personality for you. Sadly enough, we can't always get that person, but your brain doesn't care.

realize that many girls are great... there is not one that is the best. meet new girls and learn to love them for who they are.

some fuck like pornstars but often you cant have a meaningful relationship with them. i once contracted ONEitis from a girl who could very well be a pornstar but this girl is sick in the head. she not only has venereal but also spiritual disease and she is very bad news basically.

a doctor once told me life always comes down to a balance.
ppl that work a lot may earn a lot but be so stressed that the pros arent worth the cons (even tho a life long full of conditioning has lead them into denying reality)

liars and Thieves unknowingly make themselves unhappy.
so the law of balance tells us to be content with what we have and not have, with what others have and not have to share with us but love them regardless.

the less you want the more you have.

prior to my first relationship, the only thing that cured my oneitis was seeing my oneitis in a relationship with someone else. it’s kinda shitty, but for all intents and purposes, it got the job done

that being said, after i was no longer a khv, i came to a bit of a realization. up until that point, i was so obsessed with the idea of a relationship that i never really stopped to think about trying to find someone compatible. i fell for basically anyone who was attractive/nice, and after a while, i realized she and i didn’t really have all that much in common or to talk about. i think we ended it on pretty good terms, we’re still friends, but this whole experience really made me re-evaluate what i’m looking for in a relationship

tldr think about whether or not you and your oneitis are compatible people and try not to get caught up in the idea of a relationship. your prerequisites for a relationship with someone else should be more than just a pretty face

Currently dealing with it, but i always get over it in time and its taken less and less as I experience the feeling more.

Basically have been with a girl for over 4 years off and on, she has mental illness that has been diagnosed as anxiety disorder but im pretty sure she has something else going on as well. She was actually in a psyche ward at one point for nearly killing herself when she was in her early teens before I knew her. I assume Split Personality or borderline personality, since she seemed to change behavior more radically than anyone ive ever met from group to group or person to person.

Its honestly the worst, her being that way makes her super appreciative of the things ive done for her. But on the flip side, she will randomly act unpredictably and over react to basically any random thing that happens to bother her.

Thats why we have been on again off again, last time she randomly flipped out about my room mate not knowing we were dating which had been discussed in the past.

Tldr version, my room mate hated her because she had done me wrong repeatedly by breaking things off suddenly and harshly. And since they couldnt co-habitate civily even for a day it was just better to keep them seperated especially since my room mate would also be pissed at me for trying to fix things, and I was planning on moving in with her eventually if we broke a year of being together during that attempt with no major issues.

It only lasted 7 months, and she flipped out claiming I was hiding her since I didnt tell one person. And burned everything down, mined you I always put her first besides this one situation. And me choosing to do this was a direct result of her bad behavior in the past. She seemed understanding when we discussed it previously a few months in, but then boom its a big deal and she wont let me resolve it at all. Said I should have known better than to hide someone for so long, and expect them to be k with it. She wouldnt work it out.

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If I knew the answer to this, I would probably be happier and more productive. I'm married but fell for a guy 2 years ago. It's like nothing I've ever experienced. Can't get him out of my head. I fantasize about him during sex (sorry husband) and have intrusive thoughts about him throughout the day. Brain, why you gotta crave that dopamine rush? Body, why you gotta crave his baby?

Have her rejected you and accept that she's rejected you
Also going outside and looking at another women like animals is pretty helpful too.
My personal story

Thanks. The worst part is my feelings are reciprocated. She has told me she loves me. I just can’t be with her because I have a girlfriend. :(

Wait. But you jerk it to that girl and think of her while having sex with your current gf? What the fuck man. Why not ditch current gf for an upgrade? If your 8 year crush confessed to you, why not go for it?

because i’m a fucked up person and she deserves better. i feel like she’s confused and misguided when she says she’s in love with me. once she actually got to be with me she would probably regret it.

Stop doing this to yourself and her user. You are hurting people in your life, you are hurting yourself, you need to stop living a lie, you need to make the choice that will give you an actually clear concious

She better be insanely hot for your oneitis to be this bad

Dude, youre a fucked up person because you are crushing mad hard on a other girl while in a serious relationship so now you are filled with lust and desire for someone other than your mate. How can you call this relationship serious when you are still playing games in your head about another woman? Choose one, well, your brain hasnt givin' you a choice for the past 8 years. Kek.

had my oneitis since 6th grade. 23 now. got the courage to talk to her last year. got a few replies but eventually ghosted. oh well

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Please dont give up on yourself. You are a good person if there is at least one person in this world you dont want to destroy, but there are people in this world who will want to destroy her.

She’s gorgeous, at least I think so, but it’s so much more than that. It’s like she radiates goodness. She’s an angel. A shining light in my dull, grey world.

>there are people in this world who will want to destroy her.

I guess I always felt like I could protect her even if we’re not together, somehow.

How do you crush on a goddess for 8 years and not make a damn move. Im curious user, school crush?

You can not control her fate of you dont become her destiny.

>probably
Looky there. The proof you are a good person. You were convicted by your own consciouness, you knew you have a chance to make both of you happy, and allow current gf to move onto a man who can actually love her. So take this chance and live a happy life, your burden is light. The next time you see her, the one you actually love, talk to her at all costs to fix the mess you created.

I met her years ago through a mutual friend. There was an instant connection but I had a girlfriend and we lived in different cities at the time. I asked her out again (in a group setting) once I was single but I had trouble reading her because she’s so shy and reserved and couldn’t muster up the courage to make a move. Years later she told me she took my lack of initiative at the time as a lack of interest in her and figured I only liked her as a friend. I thought the same, eventually came to terms with it and started dating someone else. She cried when she found out I had a new girlfriend and it wasn’t her. Stopped talking to me for awhile, which really hurt. Came back and admitted she’s been in love with me the whole time but was too shy and afraid I would reject her. All these years she’s never dated anyone or had a boyfriend because she’s been waiting for me to finally pick her, but I guess the timing has never worked out.

Don't have contact for a while, boom, cured.

Not my OP, but I was asked to share my story, and it's a long read.

Go through with it, and sooner or later you realize how stupid the whole thing was, and you will see how that person is as insignificant like any other bystander on the streets.

tldr

OH NO ITS THE CHINESE

THEY'RE GONNA BLOW UP THE SUN NORBU
>guys he actually believed me it was hilarious

But are you really a girl now?
It's been like two years since you fired me.

tits or gtfo

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By realizing there's 8 billion on the planet and that getting fixated on one person is logically dumb.

Youre logically dumb. 8 billion on the planet, how many of those are you going to actually encounter? How many of them will actually be right for you?

>how many of those are you going to actually encounter? How many of them will actually be right for you?

Woah what a good question! I'd never really thought about it!

Way to miss the point genius, "oneitis" comes from a prideful outlook on life where you think there is just one specific person on earth that you are compatible with, it's an ignorant and shallow-minded way of thinking because there's millions, nay billions of people out there in the world you have never met, and you presume that it's unlikely for you to meet someone just like your oneitis or even better. It's why men here struggle with getting rejected, because they believe the handful of women they've met who don't want them reflect the general consensus of millions of women out there. It's why every single day we have a height thread on the front page, an insecure man crying that women "these days" won't date anyone under 6'2" despite reality saying the complete opposite.

Probably a million or two.

You meet a girl that is perfect in every way.
Then you never tell her how you feel.
Then you die alone because no other girl is as good as her.