Hello boyos. So, I'm a 24 yo handholdless kisless virgin vagina.
I am extremely autistic but I try to be cool.
How many dates do you usually have when LF longterm relationships before having sex for the first time?
I am extremely afraid of getting fucked and dropped because I already have trust issues.
I know some of you will say to "just wait until you feel comfortable" but I feel comfortable after 2 years minimum of talking to someone.
What should I do?
If it takes you TWO YEARS to be able to open up to someone then I would say you have something going on from your past. Something you should seek a therapist for.
And how do you know it's 2 years? Has someone stuck around long enough for you to figure that out?
Only time for me was after we got in the relationship before we’d gone on a real date. We met up and fucked... and I broke up with her a week later because her mental problems came out to play. Couldn’t handle it. I didn’t get into it wanting to drop her; I’d wanted to marry her.
Anyway, just deal with losing that handhold/kiss virginity before worrying about the real deal.
4-6 months after that initial first date is the average time people wait before smashing. Most girls won't wanna wait 2 years if their normal and not one of those "wait until marriage" type chicks. Unless you wanna stay a virgin, stop thinking of yourself as a "vagina". Go hang out with friends, have them introduce you to their circle of friends and keep repeating the cycle, and after a little while your dating pool will be huge with tons of options and different girls to take out on dates etc... The friend of a friend thing is a great way to meet new people!
Well yeah, I have problems. That's clear.
But I'm willing to make the effort to be more sociable with everyone. That's why I was asking what is the regular time I should wait instead of the "when it feels right thing"
I am going to a therapist. I was just bullied trhough all my student life. I think it must not be a problem that has no solution. Just something that will take time.
Well I am worried about being a handholdless kisless person at my age. I wish for experience without turning promiscuous. Ty user
6 months sound like a reasonable time I think. I guess if the guy isn't willing to wait then he isn't worth it? But what if he has tons of experience and becomes impatient?
>4-6 months after that initial first date is the average time people wait before smashing
Lel. That is seriously the most retarded thing I have ever read on Jow Forums. You are a teenager virgin who has never been on a date, right?
The general guideline for adults is "no sex until the third date" which prevents most pump and dumps already. Absolute maximum is one month, at that point your partner will think you're just playing around and not taking the relationship seriously and probably leave.
Bro it’s good, you laid out the problems and faults in you and these faults come with solutions and quick fixes.
Don’t try to be cool, don’t try to be anything you are not. If you’re autistic, or just socially inept - learn about shit-testing on Google and self improvement comes with great self care. Lift weights, throw yourself at womenly interactions because it’s uncomfortable. That’s what we need hey, we need to get comfy with feeling uncomfortable so we grow.
Read the famous book The Charisma Myth. Work on your looks. Don’t wear stupid shit, present yourself to the world everyday as if you are going to meet the love of your life... so every time you leave your house, you are feeling good because you know you are good enough. Small steps. Lift weights, learn to talk and use the right wits
Don't listen to that faggot. Nobody will wait for 6 months. They will dump you long before.
>Well I am worried about being a handholdless kisless person at my age. I wish for experience without turning promiscuous. Ty user
Well, for what it’s worth, it took me until age 32. But I recognize that I matured relatively slowly sexually; I didn’t understand dating or romance until I hit 30. It was just confusing, and while I wanted romance, I didn’t know what I was doing.
Have you ever made excepcions for an awkward virgin girl?
It is the same if I am a girl right? I'm already lifting and getting fit little by little.
Well what is a normal wait time?
If you get fucked and dropped you'll still have gotten that pussy and you can fap to the memory forever
stop being an autist. That means talking to real people, learning you're not special nor your life-virginity is, putting yourself through uncomfortable situations, etc
I was asking about the waiting time not about the age though. But it is nice to hear about your experience so I appreciate it
Find someone you like enough that you want to kiss and just go from there. Once you have that person your next question is whether or not you'd be comfortable with the risk of them leaving you. If the answer is no, don't have sex with them. When you're ready you either won't mind the risk or will trust them enough not to worry about it. Either way don't fuck until you *want* to fuck. There is nothing abnormal about your age and every relationship is different.
It really depends on a lot of factors. But at 24, most guys don’t expect to wait a long time. Especially not if you’re actively or intensely dating.
Third date is a good guideline when the girl is expecting it, at least for average girls. Again, it’s a guideline, not a rule. Sometimes what counts as the first date is ambiguous, so it might not happen until four or five. Normal men read the mood and read the girl, and don’t let arbitrary time limits dictate how they act.
Normal "wait time" is three dates, or depending how often you see each other, one to three weeks maybe. If you are a virgin then a guy can wait for longer, but not 6 months. After one month you should be okay to do at least some sexual things. If you like each other then you should feel your anxiety about sex go away and fully enjoy it soon after you start experimenting.
Ok guys, thanks. This made me understand some things. Thanks a lot
The main thing is, after you have sex for the first time you realize it's not this special magical thing. And your first time will probably be a bad experience anyway.
Truth. A lot of that badness is self-inflicted as well. Any confidence issues you have with your body come boiling to the surface in short order. It really kinda sucks.
As to OP, a much more serious problem for her is that she's kissless. A lot of guys use the kiss after the first or second date to gauge whether the girl's interested, or whether she's an ultra-prude or has something else wrong with her.
Most guys are totally fine with you being a virgin and not wanting to rush into things. I can tell you with great confidence that most guys on here who claim to live by the three dates rule would easily push it out to six or even nine knowing that you're a virgin. Obviously that's a little awkward of a subject to broach.
But seriously, no kissing and no other "touching" (doesn't need to be full-on making out and groping) will make most guys in your age range think they're getting taken advantage of. Even if you're really assertive about getting dates with the guy.
Case in point, I have this girl who has been asking me out on dates every few weeks for about three years now. I went out on four dates with her, and the most she'd let me do is kiss her on the cheek. I did get to hold her hand, but she was otherwise super passive when it came to physical stuff. That was literally 2 1/2 years ago. I saw her again about two years ago, and haven't gone out with her since. She still texts me every few weeks suggesting we do something. I've been wanting to try again, but I've had a lot of trouble getting past all that failure when we went out previously.
In short, despite it being a "date", if there's no physicality whatsoever, the guy's gonna burn out quickly. And it's not even a matter of him just wanting sex or being greedy... it takes something out of a guy to reach out like that. Getting a brush-off or flat out rejected hurts a little. You're not gonna keep coming back if that happens more than a couple times.
What a worthless response