Before you call me a good-for-nothing zoomer, hear me out, please.
My parents make well over 6 figures, and they always have. I do not ask for much in my household because I don't care for material things. Unfortunately, my dad does, and as a result of being the Jew he is, he has spent the better part of the last 30 years collecting cars. Porsches, Mazdas, Chevys, you name it! We now have 25 cars across our 2 garages and some storage units.
I am entering my 3rd year of college. By the time I graduate, I will be $100k+ in debt, withholding the possible debt accrued in law school.
My parents (read: My father) is now considering buying a fucking RV. 2 months prior he bought a Porsche Boxster (which he has not once driven since purchase) and spends every other day conversing with my mom about buying houses, furniture, repairing our home, etc.
It is only me, my mom, and my dad living in my home, and I'm really appalled at my dad for giving less than zero shits about my financial situation. I've got $1,000 in the bank and that's it, meanwhile my folks have a million in assets lying around in not just cars, but antiques we refuse to get rid of, as well.
My mom doesn't like my dad doing this, either, but she can't say anything to get him to stop and look at the bigger picture. Jow Forums, how do I get my boomer dad to stop wanting to buy hunks of metal and help pay - at least in part - for my career?
Parents Won't Pay for School
Additional Fun Fact: The only time my dad has left the house in the past month has been to go out to eat with my grandparents and I. other than, he's a recluse. So before you say "But user, your dad has a passion for cars!" No he doesn't. He likes the idea of cars, but he doesn't even fucking drive them.
Anddddd just counted how many we have, based on one of my dad's social media pages. 26 cars. Pic related is the most expensive. and in its current state he could quite literally pay off all my debt by just selling this piece of junk and maybe some other car he always forgets we have.
You don't.
You have to realize that your father is selfish, and a hunk of metal means more to him emotionally that you do. Also, this should be a good lesson, because the world is full of people like him.
He's not really selfish, in fact he's more of a family man than me. Problem is he's also kind of an autist and has massive anger issues.
He doesn't just hoard cars, but car magazines and model cars and little Hot Wheels and stuff.
Normally I'd be fine with this but he doesn't do anything with them. These past few weeks he wakes up, takes a shower, then goes downstairs to watch Netflix.
If he were a family man, he'd offer to help you with your debts on his own. He's a hoarder and what makes him happiest is to own stuff, not to ensure the happiness and prosperity of his family like family men do.
Alright well he's still my fucking dad user, I can't just give up when he's pressuring us to let him buy more dumb shit all the time
Why does he pressure you? Doesn't he buy it from his own money?
My mom makes every cent in our house. She's the breadwinner. My dad does not do anything. HE DOES NOT WORK BUT EVERYTHING HE BUYS IS IN HIS NAME
That's a fucked up household. If your mom is the breadwinner, your mom is the one you need to convince to help you. Treat your dad a a sibling who lives off of your mom.
I just had a 30min talk with my mom about him, and she said that not even his own parents can get him to stop.
>"The anger you feel has been with me since the day I met him"
>"I have screamed until my lungs hurt to him but it hasn't changed anything"
I can't let this go on any further, my dad is in a parasitic relationship with his whole family just so he can collect big vroom vroom toys.
Ok, but why does your mom lets him? It's her money after all, she should draw the line of what goes and what not, and what the money is spent on. You need to help her to be more firm. Yelling won't change anything, but consistently telling no does. Since he's in a parasitic realtionship, he won't leave, the most he'll do is get grumpy.
Because he has beaten her into submission multiple times and she is now unable to speak out with him intimidating her. He is very small and not very strong, but he says very hurtful things to her and makes her cry on at least a weekly basis.
Keep in mind I live here too so I hear all this. It'll go like this:
>Dad pauses car auction, stomps up stairs
>"WHY THE FUCK ISN'T THE WORK DONE FAT BITCH"
>Mom begs him to stop yelling, says she's doing as much as she can
>He just insults her, threatens divorce, etc.
>Goes back down but not before making baby noises to the dogs even though they're scared of him
>Stays downstairs watching his shows until he feels the urge to yell at mom again
He also likes to sexually assault my mom in front of me when she doesn't want him to touch her and I don't like that either.
>No dad I need that money for college!
>Boomer dad sippin' in RV: JUST GIVE THE DEAN A FIRM HANDSHAKE
Like he's legit broken my mom's arm before because she didn't get tax returns ready. He started his family's company but he doesn't actually do anything pertaining to it. My mom makes 100% of our money and my dad has actually forgotten how his own job is supposed to be done.
This is a totally dead and abusive relationship. Your mom needs to divorce him.
If she really does not want to, you need to remind her that bullies only stop if you fight back, if you're a pushover, they will walk over you.
He sound like a totally abusive asshole.
If I were you I'd beat the shit out of him.
But she has nowhere to go and will still be stuck working for him even if she moves out. And between me, our 4 dogs, the cars (again, all in his name), and all the useless possessions in our house, it'd be a nightmare for both of them.
My mom has been kicked out before, though, and the one time I was around to see it happen my dad consistently made up lie after lie about her seeing some other man or something when she just wasn't working fast enough for him. My mom hasn't even seen another guy, only thought it. She's been completely fucking loyal to him and her job and feigned happiness for so long, but it's catching up to both of them now that I'm getting older and seeing all this shit for what it really is.
I can relate. My parents divorced when I was ten, my dad payed the minimum amount of alimony despite earning 100k per year. My mom never took him to court. Now that me and all of my siblings are over 18, we all have to sue him individually.
If your mom is making all the money, why not just leave him?
She can't. He needs her too much, despite being the one constantly saying they should divorce.
Why would she be stuck if she makes all the money? The possessions would be split, and everyone can go their own way, your mother to happiness, your father to finding a new slave.
You really underestimate what a manipulator my dad is. Not only that, it would completely crush him. He couldn't find another woman, because he doesn't even leave his house.
If you are above 18, your parents are not obligated to give you shit, snowflake.
>you call me a good-for-nothing zoomer
The fact is that you are one.
But does she need him?
I would kill for one of those cars.
Especially is my child is as an enourmous faggot as OP is.
So I kind of relate with his dad.
I might be biased because I'm a momma's boy, but I have never met a stronger and more independent woman than my own mother. She could have been a single mother and I would have probably turned out better than I am now. She probably doesn't need him, but the thought of actually leaving him is absent from her mind. It's like some door she always looks through the peephole of, but never even thinks about turning the handle, let alone opening.
so much for being independent then if you can't leave an abusive relationship
Ok, but he ruins not only your mother's life but yours too. What you're saying is basically because he's a good-for-nothing zoomer, he's entitled to ruin everyone's lives around him.
In reality, he needs to take responsibility for his actions. Your mother needs to see clearly what goes around her, and do something about it.
Hello OP, here you say your father is a manipulator:
Here you say he has autism
People with autism don't even know how to lie or manipulate in the first, are you sure he is a legit psycho and he is lying to you?
I'm joking lol, he's got that Boomer mindset kind of autism. I'm probably more autistic than him since I go on Jow Forums. Don't take it literally user
Man the fuck up.
You took on the debt, you did the three years of schooling, it's your debt, your responsibility.
Have you ever thought the reason your jew father might not be willing to help you, is to actually force you to pull yourself together and work for it. I'd say from reading what I've read you've got an expectation that other people handle your shit, and that's just not how the real world works.
So quit complaining, get of Jow Forums and get a part time job and start working to pay down that debt, if your not paying rent you'd be amazed at how quickly you can shoot down a debt, and maybe your old man will see you acting like a man and decide after a point to help you.
That's what my one did, and I'm grateful for it.
Just take pleasure in the thought that once he's finally dead you can piss on his grave and sell the cars and every little trinket he's ever loved.
My mom's in a similar position, only that while abusive dad is long out of the picture, she'll never get rid of abusive grandmom. But alas, my grandmother is the definition of evil, and has groomed my mother to be her servant since she was like 4 years old. Your mother has probably been similarly groomed, not to mention the social expectation of needing to have a man by her side from old times, so death is the only salvation.
>She probably doesn't need him, but the thought of actually leaving him is absent from her mind. It's like some door she always looks through the peephole of, but never even thinks about turning the handle, let alone opening
That's exactly how an abusive relationship works user.
You know what? You SOUND LIKE YOU DESERVE THIS SHIT.
How can a son let his mother go trhough this abismal physically and emorional abusive relationship. I would have kicked my dad on the balls everytims he raised his voice to my own mother.
OP your dad is sick and you are a whiny little faggot. Your mom sounds awesome but she is probably mentally ill now because nobody is helping her.
Try to convince her to get a divorce. Speak to your father. Defend your mother for fucks sake. Punch your father in the face if needed.
How can you live without guilt seeing your mother like that?are you actually retarded? You care more about your debt than your own fucking mom???
Both of your parents need help but your mother more than your father.
OP I beg of you, help your mom. I'm serious. This is a really sad story
Easy. Next time be more especific mongo.
KEK
If I were debt-free I would work harder because my income would be tangible and I would know that every dollar I earn is mine. I'm more of a man than my dad.
I have a great relationship with my mom, user. We're at each other's side through everything. It's my brother who is distant and too much of a pussy to do anything. He pushed my mom down on our floor when she tried to help him like she helped me. She saw him being influenced by my dad and was punished for trying to have him escape this vicious cycle. Now my brother is a steroid-abusing sociopath who has abandoned his family just so he can get his girlfriend to buy stuff for him.
Just. Like. My. Father.
I'm so fucking guilty I can't help my mom. What, want me to go downstairs while we're about to have breakfast and deck my dad in the face? What the fuck is that gonna solve? Sure, it'd be satisfying to see his head hit our precious granite countertops, or maybe smash the fucking toaster over his balding scalp, but I need to use words here, not actions.
Get evidence and contact the police you fucking dipshit. If I were you I'd get the fuck outta that house with My mom.
This is definitely bait. It hast to be
Help your mother divorce him, or at least help her stand her ground and not take his shit anymore. Be there for her when he flips his shit, and make sure she doesn't take it personally. Abusive relationships ruin people, she needs to stop it.
Not one bit user, my folks have legit gotten into fistfights outside of our property for the neighbors to see, and my dad has unironically called the police on my brother for being too annoying
I'll see what I can do. My brother doesn't want to help, and he's 27 and I'm 20. Mom and dad are dead to him, and I wish they weren't because he needs help too.
OP Here, debating whether or not to confront my father later today. My mom has specifically told me not to do so, urging that it would lead nowhere and just taint my relationship with him. Also I leave for uni in 5 days so it wouldn't bode well, but I'm so sick of bottling this shit up and want to punch him or at least call him out. I think this shit goes beyond just needing money for school.
Don't confront him, your mother's right. Help your mother confront him.
Hi OP I haven't read all your thread but have you considered that your father really does have some form of undiagnosed autism?
At this point, I'm not too concerned about your debt (everyone has debt nowadays, you learn to deal with it - it's not going to kill you straight away), and more about your family dynamic. I think it'd probably be a good idea for you and your family to seek some group therapy regarding your father's spending habits, and maybe see if you could get him seen by a psychologist who might be able to give a diagnosis.
You better square up to him right now. I told my dad if he ever beats my mom, I'd fuck him up, and he has a good 150 pounds on me.
Well, you better stop being a fucking faggot, get Jow Forums and start beating shit out of your dad. What is he gonna do, verbally assault you?
You're a fucking pussy and deserve everything that's coming for you. Enjoy your debt while your alpha father doesn't do anything and just beats you all pussies into submission.
This, don't confront him by yourself